Too funny not to share....

laughingdani
laughingdani Posts: 2,275 Member
edited September 23 in Chit-Chat
*** Adult Truths ***

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger..

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Ladies.....Quit Laughing.
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Replies

  • TaraMaria
    TaraMaria Posts: 1,975
    I love it! :o) Ha ha ha! :o) This one always makes me laugh!
  • wan2b21
    wan2b21 Posts: 147 Member
    BAHAHAHAHAAAAA... yes.
  • Naomi91
    Naomi91 Posts: 892 Member
    Omg xD i laughed so much. tummy hurts xDxDxD
  • Tuckersn
    Tuckersn Posts: 149
    All pretty much right on!! Too funny!
  • CallejaFairey
    CallejaFairey Posts: 391 Member
    too funny! but also too true :)
  • redhotsmacker
    redhotsmacker Posts: 227 Member
    LMAO!!!! Great post!!!

  • 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

    2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

    #1 is my favorite - and seriously - isn't that the Best Friend Rule? :drinker:

    and me and a friend were just talking about #2 today....we'll be arguing like crazy with a boyfriend/husband/whatever and realize halfway in that we're wrong and they're right - and KEEP RIGHT ON ARGUING because we're absolutely not going to admit it after investing that much time arguing our case! :laugh:
  • dragonbug300
    dragonbug300 Posts: 760 Member
    Love this post.
  • thomasvision
    thomasvision Posts: 129 Member
    To funny
  • beethedreamer
    beethedreamer Posts: 465 Member
    I love love love it! I can relate to almost all of these haha
  • mccorml
    mccorml Posts: 622 Member
    well the thing about the cup is we just have our priorities straight we think in the here and now blow to the head is a thick skull to block blow to the other organ theres no coming back from that
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
    very funny!
  • Veggie_Eloise
    Veggie_Eloise Posts: 99 Member
    hilarious, thanks for sharing!
  • I agree with other posters, the boys are protected by the wrong bone.
  • Love this, Dani! I think I got a mini ab work out from the hysterical laughing! Thanks!!
  • lmbo, so so true.
  • Love it, that just made my day. :smile:
  • DangerRanger
    DangerRanger Posts: 327 Member
    OMG, this is AMAZING!!! WOWOWOWOW!
  • halobender
    halobender Posts: 780 Member
    That list made me laugh a lot, as I think a lot of those I might be able to relate to in particular as a guy, too, haha.

    However! I hate to be a kill-joy, but I have to point out that helmets have been around—whether in the NFL or hockey—for quite a while. It's just that the NHL didn't mandate the use of them until 1979.

    But seriously, it's important to protect the boys, too, heh. If you die you're not going to be making babies anyway; but if you get hit in the balls hard ... I dunno. That could be bad.
  • Bump
  • loushep
    loushep Posts: 191
    :laugh: :laugh:
  • wolf23
    wolf23 Posts: 4,277 Member
    Love it!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: LMAO
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
    True story. I had just gotten my GPS and was learning to use it (umm while driving *hush*). Suddenly my gas gauge bings at me. I think, "Hey, I'll just hit that gas button is I am saved." Button hit, navigated successfully (which for me is no small feat). Flush from my success, I hop out and head on into the station. I grab a soda and then greeted with a wall of glass that would survive a tidal wave and a clerk who still managed to look spooked (never knew an asian driving a Ion could look menacing). I pay for my soda and gas and walk out only then realizing I am in a very very not-so-nice part of town.
    I really thin that when you hit a destination, there should be some sort of prompt that asks, "Are you really sure you want to go there?"

    Side note...you know how often I see the GPS stating recalculating? At some point I swear is is going to ask for me to return it because I never listen to it anyway...Hey! Just like my ex. w00t!
  • bbygrl5
    bbygrl5 Posts: 964 Member
    LMAO! I can relate to a lot of these, but especially #2 and #22. Hilarious post! I think you should call me and read these to me.
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
    Awesome! I can totally relate to some of them...especially the alarm clock.
  • Stefani74
    Stefani74 Posts: 448 Member
    *** Adult Truths ***

    1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

    This goes for cell phones too! Oh if my mother ever got ahold of my cell!
  • dwarfer22
    dwarfer22 Posts: 358 Member
    Very funny. Trying to chuckle quietly while at work. :tongue:
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    :laugh: Those are funny. I can definitely relate especially to 22 and 23. :laugh:
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    :laugh: That was spot on!
This discussion has been closed.