Mom trying to discourage me

sounds like you are doing well. its never easy when you dont have a good support system. thank god you found this website! we are all here for you. 130 sounds reasonable to me although 159 is not obese, just overweight. good luck

Do not pay any attention to BMI its a useless tool to be quite honest it takes nothing into account for build, muscle mass or anything like that just the height and weight. According to my bmi I am obese and at 5ft8 and 180 pounds I am far from that, I fit into a size 34 jeans no problem. So just go with what feels good for you.

im 5 ft 5 as well, and also weigh 159, thats super weird, but you are not obese. technically we are considered a little overweight. so dont be down on yourself. have you told your mom. my mom says something to me sometimes and when it hurts i just have to tell her. then she stops. im sure she doesnt think shes being mean, just helpful. people that want to lose weight and notice that i am try to entice me with food, and i feel the same way sometimes, like if they are overweight they want me to as well. good luck to you and definitely dont let it discourage you. :flowerforyou:

I must admit, a few years ago, when a close friend of mine lost a lot of weight, I (plus others) talked about her by saying she was too thin. I agree with WYZE when she says that your weight loss is an adjustment for others. We weren't used to seeing her so small. A few years have passed, and I now am used to seeing my friend thin. I think she looks very healthy and most of all HAPPY. I'm so glad she didn't listen to the people around her. She knew her goals and she stuck to them. Now, she inspires others to achieve their weight loss goals. Hope that helped!

I think Moms forget that when we are grown they can push us away, not hear from us for months, and wonder what happened.

Family......grrrrrr

*like* lol :bigsmile:

A few things-
If you just want to end the whole conversation when she starts in with the whole "You're going to look too skinny" shtick, tell her confidently and calmly "You are right mom". That's it. No elaboration. Just agree. She will probably be so surprised that she'll shut up. This doesn't mean you actually agree with her internally- it's basically to make her stop lol. And it works- I've used that method in all kinds of situations to just bar stupid arguments and conversations from happening.

Another thing: she might very well be jealous. This is a possibility, I'm not accusing her outright of having that issue but it's definitely something to consider. She's older than you- you mention that there are other overweight ladies in her circle/your life, they may not feel empowered in their own lives to take the steps necessary to move on and get healthy and feel a ridiculous sense of rejection that is unwarranted and also petty jealousy. You could be the judge of that since these are people you know and you'll have to figure it out. If they are, what can you do but shake your head and live the life you need to? No use in feeling guilty or letting them drag you down.

You have been very successful in your mission to lose weight, get healthy and maintain a healthier lifestyle it looks like and congrats to you! This is about YOU and how you want to live and change- and sometimes people just react badly when their loved ones decides to step out of the comfort zone of that group.

It's interesting..I'm half Korean and my mother (and all of my best friends are Asian) and relatives have always, always, critiqued every single aspect of my looks and everything else for as long as I can remember. First it was I was too skinny and too tall and too outspoken- now it's wow look how fat she is! And I'm considered a SHAME in my family because of my weight gain. So my mother calls me on a regular basis to inquire about my clothing sizes and weight. But the thing is, in our culture, this isn't seen as 'rude' or 'invasive' etc according to the conversations I've had with my Thai and Vietnamese sister in law's and girlfriends. In our cultures mothers have the right to just interject about WHATEVER the hell they want whenever from what kind of undies you're wearing even though you're a married woman and damn don't you have a fat gut or drink a beer out of a bottle! I'm only mentioning all of this because we're essentially talking about mother daughter relationships. Just be lucky you aren't Asian, you white ladies. LOL I know I might get flamed for saying all of that but seriously- if you are, a lot of times it's just a recipe for your mother to chew you out for eternity.

You are not in the obese category. Our hieght, weight, and BMI are almost identical down to our start weights except I currently weigh 169 before I ate pizza for the Superbowl. Remember fat women feel more comfortable around other fat people and when one is working on being less fat anymore, they feel inadequate and sometimes can mis-communicate their feelings, I wouldn't sweat it Your mom loves you and wants you to be happy. Keep up the hard work, because remember who you are doing this for

I was going to say something along these lines. I know how I felt around people who were losing weight, before I started. Their success made me feel bad about myself, and in a twisted way, I felt like they were insulting me, or something.

I knew it was illogical, and there's no way that someone would put that much time and effort into a plot to make me feel bad about myself. But somewhere in the subconscious mind... that's what was going on.

I just got into the "normal" category and my husband is still in the overweight category (but he's working his butt off!). Every time he goes to visit his mother, she says how we're far too thin and this is dangerous to lose weight (we're on the 1lb a week plan) and we should go back to our regular eating habits (which was the husband was raised with massive portions of fatty meats, white carbs and veggies soaked in butter and salt. and huge sugary desserts). I'd figure she'd want him to avoid having diabetes like she does or being severely overweight like her and her husband, but something in parents seem to link losing weight with eating disorders and general unhealthiness. You'd think she grew up in the Depression or something (she didn't). Moms decide what they want and you just have to know that you're doing what's best for yourself.