annoyed at the gym ?

bosanka
bosanka Posts: 336 Member
edited September 23 in Chit-Chat
Ok... i don't know why but .. there's this pretty, nice, long-legs, pretty-blond- -long hair, always smiling girl at the gym.

She is teaching pilates. But she is always at the zumba class when i'm. She is annoying me. And we never spoke a word.
But when she is there infront of me in the zumba class.. i look in the mirror and see her .. with her endless-long -super skinny legs- no butt-no nothing body .. completely skin and bones.. and there is me.. with my 100 l bs extra fat.. trying to work out, huffing and puffing, doing my best - but she has this " p erfect p olite- no care in the world " smile on her face... all the time.
Just looking at her i can tell that girl had never an issue in her life- not with her looks or anything else.. she just looks so " well-taken care off " no worries .. no problems.. - and no this is not one of those " fake " smiles - that's why it's annoying ?!?
why is she always smiling.. and why is she dancing with us " fat girls ? " to make us look bad ? or to make her self look extra sexy .. why is she coming ?

I know i know.. people will throw all kind of comments at me now .. i'm prepared for that.. but i just had to vent.. s ince she was the reason for me leaving in tears today .. couldn't take it anymore.. at least stop smiling !?!? when i'm ready to burst in tears..

( this is a vent.. more like a " self talk " .. i'm not expecting anyone to understand me .. i know it makes no sense.. it's just one of those days ) ..

but - just curious.. are there any people at your gym that annoy you ? any one ? why ? :)
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Replies

  • Renypoo
    Renypoo Posts: 14
    Make her your insparation!
  • thecanface
    thecanface Posts: 1,180 Member
    omg it makes total sense! of course there are people that annoy! its like "ugh, why not me??" but then you have to realize... there is a person behind YOU in zumba, with the 200 extra lbs they are trying to lose, looking at you saying "why not me??? why can she do that step and not me??" :) ever think of it that way?
  • cplpn
    cplpn Posts: 2 Member
    anyone skinner than me annoys me.
  • KellyBurton1
    KellyBurton1 Posts: 529 Member
    Maybe she doesnt have any friends. If everyone feels like you do maybe she doesnt have any friends and she feels comfortable there. Go say hi to her, maybe you'll get a surprise. And if she turns away well then its a different story.
  • katiefraay
    katiefraay Posts: 60
    I understand, it happens to me too. I think it's more of a jealousy thing for me though.
  • Hanzo44
    Hanzo44 Posts: 23 Member
    When I feel like you do I just turn the negative energy into reps. It's taking lemons and making lemonade. I think keeping an eye on your metal health is probably as important as your physical health. So maybe you should find some time to just chill and relax. It's probably a good thing that you vented, because keeping negative energy inside you is not going to help any part of your over all health...JMHO.
  • cerysrhi
    cerysrhi Posts: 262
    she needs to do it to maintain that perfect figure cos if she didn't she would pile on the lbs and in a few months time the roles would be reversed her behind you thinking that used to be me x
  • bonnienm
    bonnienm Posts: 329 Member
    I go to Zumba in my area and help at the door for $ and sign in. One morning an overweight woman came and asked where all the fat women were:) Us thinner ones aren't there to annoy you or make you feel bad, we're just trying to stay thin and fit. I used to be about 50 lbs heavier when I joined this sight so I've been on both sides and it's a daily BATTLE just to not revert back and eat what I want to. Zumba or any other exercise for that matter is what helps me be able to eat and NOT gain all that weight back.

    I love where I Zumba because it is based on another warehouse where they have the lights off (just enough light to not get hurt) and NO MIRRORS!!! The first time I went to Zumba it wasn't in my area and there were bright lights, mirrors and the instructor was a pencil. I didn't love it either so I understand:) Just keep going and don't let her get to you. If it were me I'd probably be annoyed by the smile whether she was thin or fat just because I get annoyed easily:)

    Good luk and keep going!!! Someday you could be that skinny smiley girl and just remember age and metabolism usually catches up to everyone:)
  • sweetheart03622
    sweetheart03622 Posts: 928 Member
    I won't beat yourself up over it too much. You're having a rough day, that's why it got to you. After a good cry and a bubble bath, you might see her at your next class and use her as motivation to keep going.

    Truthfully, I used to feel the same way, but then I realized that maybe even the impossible beautiful, sexy, skinny girls have to work out too and they probably have insecurities as well. Just take it in stride, you're at the gym for you. Totally know how that goes though :ohwell:
  • skinnyack
    skinnyack Posts: 683
    :flowerforyou: It's just her endorphins making her smile- can't fight biology... or maybe she's drunk haha! Good for you for going to class, good for you for crying it out. You can do this. And someone is going to eventually think of you as annoyingly happy and skinny.
  • Kminor67
    Kminor67 Posts: 900 Member
    Also... keep in mind... her problems don't show on the outside. Everyone has problems. even perfect-looking people have problems. Maybe working out with a smile on her face is how she gets through hers. Maybe her dad just died, and because she can't face it, so goes to the gym and works out with a smile. Maybe she has bad self esteem and sees herself as fat. Maybe she has an eating disorder. Maybe she lost her house and had to move back in with her mother and the gym is her escape.

    I'm not judging you, but maybe you should take the time to introduce yourself. Maybe she needs a friend.
  • jaduff
    jaduff Posts: 12
    I always feel like I'll appreciate and enjoy my thinner self more than someone who is naturally thin because I worked for it and I know what it feels like to be heavier.
  • alyssa83202
    alyssa83202 Posts: 334
    Everyone has problems in their life, everyone. Even the pretty, thin blond girl in that class. People that we might look at with envy most likely have insecurities and problems just like the rest of us. I'm sorry that you are feeling upset though! Just remember that you're in that class for you and no one else. You're doing something great for your life and your health and you should be smiling about that!
  • Jlln_G1011
    Jlln_G1011 Posts: 13 Member
    you can't know her outside of the 1 instance you see her in. maybe she makes herself perfect on the outside because thats the one aspect of her life she can control. you don't know.


    just relax and do your thing. and try saying hi, you might be pleasantly surprised!
  • AngelUK1985
    AngelUK1985 Posts: 84 Member
    I see skinny people at the gym all the time too and im thinking if i was as thin as you i wouldnt bother being here but anyway i can see it from your side but maybe if she didnt do this kind of thing and ate what she did she wouldnt be so thin so maybe she feels like she needs to go there, and sometimes when people smile doesnt always mean they are happy you dont know whats going on inside people fake being happy sometimes plus most women are never happy with how they look alot of people always find flaws about themself even if theres nothing wrong with them, when i was thin i never looked in the mirror and seen a skinny person so maybe shes the same, or maybe shes just there to be annoying to everyone else and to make herself feel good who knows :)
  • seemichellerun
    seemichellerun Posts: 219
    The only people who annoy me at the gym are people who talk on their cell phones, don't wipe down equipment after sweating all over it, or who have really *really* bad BO.



    Honestly, I'd rather have people who are polite, happy, and always smiling at the gym than grumpy people who pass judgment on others just because of the way they look.
  • Mrs_McFadden
    Mrs_McFadden Posts: 1,139
    What if she has Aspergers and enjoys the number of moves in her Zumba class and it's the only place she can hang out since she's kind of emotionally challenged and hence her utter joy of finding a place she can fit in without having to talk much and just 'be'?
    Probably not, but just saying, you really don't know. For all you know she's an orphan and her adoptive parents hate her. Or not and she has the perfect life, either way, you're there to be healthy right?

    Easier said than done but one thing I have learned is there is always someone faster, more beautiful, cleverer, a better gamer, better flirter blah blah...you could spend your whole life being annoyed by it.

    (I'm not criticizing your thought process here, I'm just saying that you have to kind of force yourself into more productive ways of thinking when we go down that road)
  • DrBorkBork
    DrBorkBork Posts: 4,099 Member
    What if she used to be a fat chick? What if she's smiling because she's a success? If I dropped that much weight, I'd be grinning too. I catch myself doing it when I crank out reps at bigger weights than I was at before, or when I slam the treadmill at a new speed I never knew I could reach.
    And, dude, Zumba is FUN. I see skinny girls doing it all the time. There's a reason why they call it a party.

    Next time you see her, I challenge you to ask her why she's so happy. :)
  • SmileyJ23
    SmileyJ23 Posts: 349 Member
    :) I completely understand you... No one annoys me because I guess I just totally block everyone out and focus on me. I listen to music and go away in my own little workout land. I have felt this way in the past and had to learn that I'm doing everything I do for me and i try my very hardest not to compare myself or my progress to anyone else. Just let this be your one day and move forward. Good luck with everything!!!! I can't til the day you are able to do the moves just as good as the skinny chick!!!
  • Mrs_McFadden
    Mrs_McFadden Posts: 1,139
    P.S.
    I have a lot of weight to lose, but today when I was on the treadmill (twenty minutes ago) I was smiling the entire time.

    I'm a daydreamer :).
  • xarrium
    xarrium Posts: 432 Member
    I totally understand!! I've never had this experience at the gym (the people who annoy me at the gym are the ones who hijack my treadmill or destroy the weight machines because they don't want to learn the rules/practise basic etiquette), but I've worked myself to practically hysterical for the same exact reason. Why is it that things just come to people so easily, and when you work up the nerve to finally comment about it (as in, "*sigh*, I wish I looked like that") people stomp on you and say "work harder" or "eat less" or "don't be jealous!" (Meh! I am totally jealous!) Or they do something like point out that she's got no butt and how curves are sexy, which I hate hearing because it seems to me that skinny sells a lot better than curvy. (Excuse my venting...)

    BUT, keep your chin up--I know it's easy to give in to the part of you that says bad things about yourself, but *you're* the one working your butt off, actually going because it's good for *you* in more ways than just looking awesome. If you get the chance, say hi to her--maybe she just likes Zumba for the fun of it, and she's not trying to elevate herself or bring you down. Try not to let your mind automatically go to a negative conclusion (easier said than done), and if all else fails, don't focus on anything other than just dancing--screw the world and what everyone thinks of you, and have fun!

    Hang in there--we all have those days, and I'm sure a lot more people understand than you might realize. :flowerforyou:
  • jacki_mk
    jacki_mk Posts: 3
    I guarentee there are things that she doesnt like about her body. And when she looks at other people, she sees others that she would like to look like. We all go through that, no matter what size we are. She is probably smiling because she enjoys the exercise. Zumba makes me very happy too. I tend to smile when i go to Zumba class. And sometimes im just trying not to laugh at the mistakes i make in the class. Most small people have to exercise in order to maintain their weight. I have to exercise a lot because i tend to over indulege in bad food at times.
  • KellyBurton1
    KellyBurton1 Posts: 529 Member
    maybe she has a viberator stuck up her *kitten* and thats why she has a smile on her face...lol
  • bparsont
    bparsont Posts: 50
    You need to focus on YOU. No one is in control of your happiness, skinniness, sadfullness ecetra, except you. Once you take responsibility for your life, feelings, emotions and weight, then other people or circumstances will not bring these unhealthy emotions to you. YOU are the only one who can make YOU happy, skinny, funny ecetra. It is no one elses job to do that for you nor do they have a right to.
    If you take this approach then you would be happy just like the girl you dispise. She has a right to be happy 24/7 if she feels like it. YOU don't have the right to try and control HER action or her life and that's what you are doing.
    You need to take a look at Abraham-Hicks web site and start enlightening yourself as to what LIFE is all about. Its about YOU and nothing more!!
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,162 Member
    she's probably with a guy like me so she's always smiling, LOL kidding
    Anyways just because someone is in shape doesn't mean they should stop going to the gym. If I am a guy in shape I will keep going to the gym until I can get more muscle or so.
  • patjad
    patjad Posts: 55 Member
    My gym is INFESTED with "meatheads". These guys in the cut off shirts, yelling at each other from across the gym, hogging the machines while NOT using them, taking 30 minutes on one machine, GRUNTING after every rep, SLAMMING the weights down, etc, etc.
    Yes, I am from the Jersey Shore area so these guys are overly tanned, loud, and gelled up.
    I really wouldn't mind except they really make my gym experience suck and I have to work my schedule around them.
    I even saw one meathead guy have his girlfriend change his weights for him after every set while he waited. Dumb girl.
  • bosanka
    bosanka Posts: 336 Member
    Yes- i agree to everything everyone said :) really i do-
    skinny people have issues too :) and yes- skinny people need to workout too- it's their " right " :) .. etc

    it was just one of the days.. where i didn't feel like smiling or anything..and her constant smile was just grrrr .. it wasn't one of this
    " happy-zumba " smiles- i know what you guys mean with that.. i have one of those too on my " normal days " when you get the beat and your favorite song comes etc.. yeah i smile too :) but i'm telling ya' if you saw it you would understand me :) hehe

    and maybe it's the mirrors that bother me.. i have left the zumba class several times allready- i start it because i really like to dance .. but in the middle of it i just stop and leave.. it's hard not to look at yourself and compare while the mirror is right in your face .. i love to dance.. but i don't like to think " how i'm moving " or how it looks like.. and how her hip move looks nothing like mine ?? .. i guess i have started concentrating on the " wrong " stuff.. but my butt is just taking up so much space in that mirror .. grrr ..

    and i feel so much better since i started working out.. i feel i'm making progress etc, but than i see a " move " that other girls a doing.. like a floor leg-exercise with weights or something.. and it looks pretty simple .. and i think " oh.. ok i'll try that exercise too, looks good etc.. " i try it .. and my butt just sinks down i can't lift it .. and i can't get my legs so high.. and so long and so .. what not.. and i get reminded .. " you are still just a fat girl " ..

    i'm telling you - it's one of those long days.. i need to see some progress soon, i'm working really hard .. i need to see some results :(

    thank you all for posting- it helps to talk it out.. - there - i'm crying again.. i spent crying a good part of the day and i don't know why !?!?

    maybe bc. now i have to " feel " my feelings and not feed them.. i used to eat when i felt something.. no matter what.. sadnes, lonliness, happiness.. etc i would eat.. now i'm not eating and i have to deal with emotions- i'm not used to that.. and i don't know how to identify them .. am i lonely ? am i depressed ? .. am i sad ? i don't know.. never used to bother with " feelings " just food . i'm annoying myself lately bc.. i can be in the middle of the workout and just start crying.. what is going on with me ..
  • crystal_sapphire
    crystal_sapphire Posts: 1,205 Member

    Just looking at her i can tell that girl had never an issue in her life- not with her looks or anything else.. she just looks so " well-taken care off " no worries .. no problems.. - and no this is not one of those " fake " smiles - that's why it's annoying ?!?
    why is she always smiling.. and why is she dancing with us " fat girls ? " to make us look bad ? or to make her self look extra sexy .. why is she coming ?


    I get that you're having a bad day and needed to vent, but this is what stuck out at me as over the top and harsh. You really don't know if her life is oh so perfect. Maybe she's at the gym all the time because her home life is ****ty. Maybe she smiles because it's the only way she can put on that happy front that people expect. Maybe she doesn't have a lot to worry about.

    Anyway, I hope your day gets better. And is this class exclusive to fat people or something?
  • crystal_sapphire
    crystal_sapphire Posts: 1,205 Member
    and maybe it's the mirrors that bother me.. i have left the zumba class several times allready- i start it because i really like to dance .. but in the middle of it i just stop and leave.. it's hard not to look at yourself and compare while the mirror is right in your face .. i love to dance.. but i don't like to think " how i'm moving " or how it looks like.. and how her hip move looks nothing like mine ?? .. i guess i have started concentrating on the " wrong " stuff.. but my butt is just taking up so much space in that mirror .. grrr ..


    i'm telling you - it's one of those long days.. i need to see some progress soon, i'm working really hard .. i need to see some results :(

    the mirror can be really hurtful and i do empathize with a lot of what you're saying here. Big hugs over your way
  • bosanka
    bosanka Posts: 336 Member
    I know there is no human on the earth without a worry i just said she looks like she has none.. she looks like one of the " cheer leading girls " .. .. no the class is not just for " fat girls " but she really kind of sticks out with her super long legs beeing taller than all of us and super skinny body .. it makes even a 150-160 avarage woman look like " chubby " .. i felt like a fat burger next to a asparagus
    i get it - not her fault for my bad day - and i said i needed to vent :)
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