annoyed at the gym ?

Options
2»

Replies

  • xarrium
    xarrium Posts: 432 Member
    Options
    I totally understand!! I've never had this experience at the gym (the people who annoy me at the gym are the ones who hijack my treadmill or destroy the weight machines because they don't want to learn the rules/practise basic etiquette), but I've worked myself to practically hysterical for the same exact reason. Why is it that things just come to people so easily, and when you work up the nerve to finally comment about it (as in, "*sigh*, I wish I looked like that") people stomp on you and say "work harder" or "eat less" or "don't be jealous!" (Meh! I am totally jealous!) Or they do something like point out that she's got no butt and how curves are sexy, which I hate hearing because it seems to me that skinny sells a lot better than curvy. (Excuse my venting...)

    BUT, keep your chin up--I know it's easy to give in to the part of you that says bad things about yourself, but *you're* the one working your butt off, actually going because it's good for *you* in more ways than just looking awesome. If you get the chance, say hi to her--maybe she just likes Zumba for the fun of it, and she's not trying to elevate herself or bring you down. Try not to let your mind automatically go to a negative conclusion (easier said than done), and if all else fails, don't focus on anything other than just dancing--screw the world and what everyone thinks of you, and have fun!

    Hang in there--we all have those days, and I'm sure a lot more people understand than you might realize. :flowerforyou:
  • jacki_mk
    jacki_mk Posts: 3
    Options
    I guarentee there are things that she doesnt like about her body. And when she looks at other people, she sees others that she would like to look like. We all go through that, no matter what size we are. She is probably smiling because she enjoys the exercise. Zumba makes me very happy too. I tend to smile when i go to Zumba class. And sometimes im just trying not to laugh at the mistakes i make in the class. Most small people have to exercise in order to maintain their weight. I have to exercise a lot because i tend to over indulege in bad food at times.
  • KellyBurton1
    KellyBurton1 Posts: 529 Member
    Options
    maybe she has a viberator stuck up her *kitten* and thats why she has a smile on her face...lol
  • bparsont
    bparsont Posts: 50
    Options
    You need to focus on YOU. No one is in control of your happiness, skinniness, sadfullness ecetra, except you. Once you take responsibility for your life, feelings, emotions and weight, then other people or circumstances will not bring these unhealthy emotions to you. YOU are the only one who can make YOU happy, skinny, funny ecetra. It is no one elses job to do that for you nor do they have a right to.
    If you take this approach then you would be happy just like the girl you dispise. She has a right to be happy 24/7 if she feels like it. YOU don't have the right to try and control HER action or her life and that's what you are doing.
    You need to take a look at Abraham-Hicks web site and start enlightening yourself as to what LIFE is all about. Its about YOU and nothing more!!
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,167 Member
    Options
    she's probably with a guy like me so she's always smiling, LOL kidding
    Anyways just because someone is in shape doesn't mean they should stop going to the gym. If I am a guy in shape I will keep going to the gym until I can get more muscle or so.
  • patjad
    patjad Posts: 55 Member
    Options
    My gym is INFESTED with "meatheads". These guys in the cut off shirts, yelling at each other from across the gym, hogging the machines while NOT using them, taking 30 minutes on one machine, GRUNTING after every rep, SLAMMING the weights down, etc, etc.
    Yes, I am from the Jersey Shore area so these guys are overly tanned, loud, and gelled up.
    I really wouldn't mind except they really make my gym experience suck and I have to work my schedule around them.
    I even saw one meathead guy have his girlfriend change his weights for him after every set while he waited. Dumb girl.
  • bosanka
    bosanka Posts: 336 Member
    Options
    Yes- i agree to everything everyone said :) really i do-
    skinny people have issues too :) and yes- skinny people need to workout too- it's their " right " :) .. etc

    it was just one of the days.. where i didn't feel like smiling or anything..and her constant smile was just grrrr .. it wasn't one of this
    " happy-zumba " smiles- i know what you guys mean with that.. i have one of those too on my " normal days " when you get the beat and your favorite song comes etc.. yeah i smile too :) but i'm telling ya' if you saw it you would understand me :) hehe

    and maybe it's the mirrors that bother me.. i have left the zumba class several times allready- i start it because i really like to dance .. but in the middle of it i just stop and leave.. it's hard not to look at yourself and compare while the mirror is right in your face .. i love to dance.. but i don't like to think " how i'm moving " or how it looks like.. and how her hip move looks nothing like mine ?? .. i guess i have started concentrating on the " wrong " stuff.. but my butt is just taking up so much space in that mirror .. grrr ..

    and i feel so much better since i started working out.. i feel i'm making progress etc, but than i see a " move " that other girls a doing.. like a floor leg-exercise with weights or something.. and it looks pretty simple .. and i think " oh.. ok i'll try that exercise too, looks good etc.. " i try it .. and my butt just sinks down i can't lift it .. and i can't get my legs so high.. and so long and so .. what not.. and i get reminded .. " you are still just a fat girl " ..

    i'm telling you - it's one of those long days.. i need to see some progress soon, i'm working really hard .. i need to see some results :(

    thank you all for posting- it helps to talk it out.. - there - i'm crying again.. i spent crying a good part of the day and i don't know why !?!?

    maybe bc. now i have to " feel " my feelings and not feed them.. i used to eat when i felt something.. no matter what.. sadnes, lonliness, happiness.. etc i would eat.. now i'm not eating and i have to deal with emotions- i'm not used to that.. and i don't know how to identify them .. am i lonely ? am i depressed ? .. am i sad ? i don't know.. never used to bother with " feelings " just food . i'm annoying myself lately bc.. i can be in the middle of the workout and just start crying.. what is going on with me ..
  • crystal_sapphire
    crystal_sapphire Posts: 1,205 Member
    Options

    Just looking at her i can tell that girl had never an issue in her life- not with her looks or anything else.. she just looks so " well-taken care off " no worries .. no problems.. - and no this is not one of those " fake " smiles - that's why it's annoying ?!?
    why is she always smiling.. and why is she dancing with us " fat girls ? " to make us look bad ? or to make her self look extra sexy .. why is she coming ?


    I get that you're having a bad day and needed to vent, but this is what stuck out at me as over the top and harsh. You really don't know if her life is oh so perfect. Maybe she's at the gym all the time because her home life is ****ty. Maybe she smiles because it's the only way she can put on that happy front that people expect. Maybe she doesn't have a lot to worry about.

    Anyway, I hope your day gets better. And is this class exclusive to fat people or something?
  • crystal_sapphire
    crystal_sapphire Posts: 1,205 Member
    Options
    and maybe it's the mirrors that bother me.. i have left the zumba class several times allready- i start it because i really like to dance .. but in the middle of it i just stop and leave.. it's hard not to look at yourself and compare while the mirror is right in your face .. i love to dance.. but i don't like to think " how i'm moving " or how it looks like.. and how her hip move looks nothing like mine ?? .. i guess i have started concentrating on the " wrong " stuff.. but my butt is just taking up so much space in that mirror .. grrr ..


    i'm telling you - it's one of those long days.. i need to see some progress soon, i'm working really hard .. i need to see some results :(

    the mirror can be really hurtful and i do empathize with a lot of what you're saying here. Big hugs over your way
  • bosanka
    bosanka Posts: 336 Member
    Options
    I know there is no human on the earth without a worry i just said she looks like she has none.. she looks like one of the " cheer leading girls " .. .. no the class is not just for " fat girls " but she really kind of sticks out with her super long legs beeing taller than all of us and super skinny body .. it makes even a 150-160 avarage woman look like " chubby " .. i felt like a fat burger next to a asparagus
    i get it - not her fault for my bad day - and i said i needed to vent :)
  • cclala
    cclala Posts: 190 Member
    Options
    I am the leggy thin girl in my class. (Not blonde though if that helps!)

    Here's some stuff that might help you:

    1. I work out because if I don't, I gain weight. It's important to me to feel good about my body. I've spent many years not taking care of it (and yes, gaining weight) and finally I got fed up and decided to dedicate myself to my own self confidence. My body would not look like it does if I didn't kill myself at the gym. It doesn't come easy.

    2. Another reason I bother working out is because of the mental high it gives me, and for the sake of my boyfriend's head. He'd prefer it remain in tact at the end of the day and me blowing off steam helps with this.

    3. #2 is largely the reason for my smile. The endorphins are my one escape They bring me such happiness I can't help myself. I deal with a ****ty commute, stressful job, family issues, and normal day to day hassles. Dance is my one hour during the day when I feel completely joyful and free.

    4. I hide behind my towel in the locker room and steal glances at the tight, toned, perfect breasted 22 year olds all around me and feel unsexy. In fact I went to the beach a few weeks ago with my boyfriend and another couple, the girl had the world's most perfect *kitten* and was parading it in a thong (yes, a thong) swimsuit in front of my boyfriend and I. It made me so insecure and uneasy I had to sneak away and call my mom and freak out about how hard I work and how I'll never look like her. So, I do not regard myself as perfect by a long stretch. I am riddled with self doubt, just like you.

    5. There was a super overweight woman behind me in zumba today and I kid you not, I smiled to myself thinking "that badass lady is so inspiring. If she can keep doing this every day, so can I. I'm so impressed with her dedication, I wish I could talk to her."

    So there you have it. I don't fault you for being jealous or angry, I get that way too and we all have our rough days.

    But, I just wanted to turn her into a person for you, if possible. I hope tomorrow is easier for you, you'll be in my thoughts.
  • poisongirl6485
    poisongirl6485 Posts: 1,487 Member
    Options
    Well if she's skinny and at the gym, then maybe it's just because she wouldn't be skinny anymore if she weren't at the gym.
  • javamom
    javamom Posts: 309
    Options
    It's unfair to assume her life is "perfect" and care-free just because she is skinny. If I've learned one thing, you never know what's going on inside someone else's life, no matter how perfect they appear to be.

    We all get annoyed by people, but it may be more about us than it is about them.
  • bosanka
    bosanka Posts: 336 Member
    Options
    Thank you for pointing out your view- cclala- it makes sense when you put it out that way :) appreciate you taking the time to explain that

    javamom- i'm pretty much sure it's more of a -my-problem-bad-day thingy - than her just beeing happy with her self :) i'm sure that's a fact.. and maybe exactly that was the reason why it bothered me ..

    any other " annoying " things at the gym ? maybe i'm doing something and i'm not aware of it- and if people list it here.. it could make me aware of it :)
  • VezNo1
    VezNo1 Posts: 83
    Options
    Why don't you get postitive and focus on that percfect *kitten* in front as a goal to be achieved. There are loads of different sizes in my Zumba class - because its fun, not because anyone is there to show off. I am definatley the biggest girl in the front row and I just don't care, I'm there to sweat and have a laugh. As should you be, just concentrate on your own game because that is what everyone else is doing.
    As for the girl with the great figure, well unless she has superhuman genetics I'm sure she is there looking after it and enjoying herself - my advice, take a leaf, get over it and get on with your own life.
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
    Options
    You say skinny blonde girl teaches pilates? Well then she's got to ensure that her body looks in tip-top shape because EVERYONE in her own class will be watching her. Plus, fitness instructors usually have a smile on their faces to radiate warmth and welcome to their class participants - it's most likely her "gym" face that she's either learned or which comes naturally to her.

    I dont get annoyed with either skinny or "bit to lose" types at the gym - everyone has their own reasons for going there. As someone else said above, I admire those who have a lot to lose, who are obviously trying hard and doing the right thing.

    The ones who annoy me are those who dont concentrate on their technique, even when the class instructor is pointing out exactly what they should be doing.....
  • sophieshaped
    sophieshaped Posts: 228 Member
    Options

    Honestly, I'd rather have people who are polite, happy, and always smiling at the gym than grumpy people who pass judgment on others just because of the way they look.

    Well said :o)
  • backinthenines
    backinthenines Posts: 1,083 Member
    Options
    I see skinny people at the gym all the time too and im thinking if i was as thin as you i wouldnt bother being here

    You know... some people actually ENJOY exercising and being active, and it makes them feel good, and God forbid... they smile sometimes.

    I don't know how the original poster can feel she can pass judgement on whether an individual ever had to cope with any level of adversity in her life only because she is attractive, fit and smiles in Zumba.
  • backinthenines
    backinthenines Posts: 1,083 Member
    Options

    Honestly, I'd rather have people who are polite, happy, and always smiling at the gym than grumpy people who pass judgment on others just because of the way they look.

    Well said :o)

    +1000
  • Pressly
    Pressly Posts: 3
    Options
    Remember this is a lifestyle change! You don't just get skinny, or just get in shape! Is it a lifestyle change. The gym is for EVERYONE! Short, tall, skinny, fat, muscled up and crippled. Everyone has a goal and guess what ,the goal is the SAME! To get and STAY in shape.
    I am 5'1 and 125lbs. I have every right to be in that Zumba Class as you do. And I will be smiling the entire time because it is fun and you shoud be smiling too. Be proud of yourself because you are there doing something positive for your body.
    WE have the same goal and WE both need to be happy for one another. Judging someone by their looks whether their big or small is sad. I hope we have all helped you. I pray you introduce yourself to this nice young lady and give her a compliment. She derserves it just as much as you do. And one day, you will be that person that GOD intended you to be. You will be the size HE intended you to be. You can and will be a wlaking example. A testimony to many who may be struggling. You will be their motivation! Don't give up and keep your eye's on why YOU are there...because....it is the same reason you are there. Take care and I am VERY PROUD OF YOU. Venting is the right thing to do! I pray we were all instrumental in giving you a new outlokk on this situation. Let us know how it goes with meeting this young lady. You may have a new friend!

Categories