She fed my son ice cream!!!! >:( Warning: rant

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sunnysashka
sunnysashka Posts: 296
in Health and Weight Loss
Why so many people are trying to sabotage my eating habits or show that my believes in healthy food are crazy or something?!

Here is the story. Me and my husband went to ballet and asked his sister to watch our 2 year old boy. I packed his dinner and gave her clear instructions what and when to feed him.

She knows about my lifestyle and habits. She knows that I do not give my son candy, ice cream and other food which is not good for him. Why do that if he even does not know what is that and never sees it in the house?

We are coming back and she proudly says: "Oh, he LOVED ice cream!..."

Needless to say that I was ANGRY!

Why people feel obligated to introduce my baby to junk?!!!
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Replies

  • dspearsb
    dspearsb Posts: 186
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    i understand what you're saying because my family has done the same to me. They don't listen they just want the child to remember them "being nice". I feel your pain!
  • Samana06
    Samana06 Posts: 107
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    My former in-laws did the same thing to my son when he was 5 months old! My parents did it to my youngest when he was around 10 months...
  • louiseei
    louiseei Posts: 254 Member
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    my mother in law gave my 7 year old daughter 2 multi packs of chocolate bars on Sunday! As she's only allowed small amounts of sweets now and again, she still has sweets left from Halloween and Christmas. She also brought us a large homemade cake.

    Some people think that feeding people = showing love it seems.
  • Elliebee22
    Elliebee22 Posts: 19
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    I see what you're saying and it must be annoying for your son to have eaten ice cream. However, he's only young and a treat once in a while isn't going to cause him to eat unhealthily! For example, when a child is told they are not allowed something and must not have it- they will want it. If you take smoking or drinking as an idea- it's quite similar when it comes to eating. Treating him once in a while isn't going to kill him!
  • kettlewitch
    kettlewitch Posts: 277 Member
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    when my son was 4 he had an operation and had to stay in hospital for a few days. I was with him one morning and he asked for rice crispies for breakfast, which the nurse then covered in a massive spoon of sugar. I was horrified but it was too late - he asked for sugar on his cereals for weeks afterwards.
  • dekarlo08
    dekarlo08 Posts: 102
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    A couple of weeks ago I walked in on my mother in law giving my 7 month old cookies. I was sooo mad. When I told her I didn't want her doing that she just said "Oh it's ok" No it's not ok unless I, the mom, say it's ok!!!!! Sorry, lol, I'm still a little bitter.
  • morganadk2_deleted
    morganadk2_deleted Posts: 1,696 Member
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    Just a thought , i understand why you are angry , but i grew up in a house were "nice" treats were rare ( ice cream sweets ect..) when i was a teenager and got my first job i went mad have sweets , cakes , coffee made with milk..


    The odd treat is not going to your 2 year old any harm, relax wait youe child goes to school
  • QueenofCups
    QueenofCups Posts: 365 Member
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    I used to be really strict about the kids having sweets mainly b/c I was afraid if I allowed it my Mom and MIL would go overboard allowing them to eat crap all the time.
    Well, I chose to slowly introduce them to treats once in a while and now they are the best eaters and know that if they want a treat they have to finish all their dinner. If they don't finish all their dinner that's ok - they aren't required to eat all their food, just if they want more food (or treat) they are. Anyway, since I was the one in charge it was a lot easier to monitor. And now they don't know the different between fruit and candy as a "treat". :)

    I feel your pain, and I would be upset too.
  • dawnslaughter
    dawnslaughter Posts: 125
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    i agree i tried to keep my kids away from wheat eggs,and milk before they were a year old but my family and inlaws were "oh it never did you any harm" i have asthma and eczema and many other allergies so i beg to differ. my daughter has got milk and wheat allergies so was i right, i think i was they sabotaged her at an early age. they only thing they didnt give her was egg as my sister is allergic to it. makes me cross so i feel for you
  • sunnysashka
    sunnysashka Posts: 296
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    I see what you're saying and it must be annoying for your son to have eaten ice cream. However, he's only young and a treat once in a while isn't going to cause him to eat unhealthily! For example, when a child is told they are not allowed something and must not have it- they will want it. If you take smoking or drinking as an idea- it's quite similar when it comes to eating. Treating him once in a while isn't going to kill him!

    I know it won't hurt him but HOW can I trust her with my son in future? If she wants to spend time with him, I should be able to trust her. And now I do not forbid my son anything! He just does not know that Ice Cream, Candy bars ect exist! His treat is strawberry greek yogurt, peanut butter, a bit honey on the toast.... When he will understand more, he will be able to have one here and there but not now! He does not miss it, why give it to him?!
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    Whilst a parent's wishes should be followed it is important to bear in mind that applying the same nutritional guidelines that adults use to pre school children is not a great idea. For example a high fibre diet for a child is generally inappropriate.

    Young children have smaller stomachs so need lots of calories and nutrients in small amounts to ensure they grow properly. Whilst it is better that it comes from natural, clean sources high fat items such as full fat milk and ice cream can be beneficial to a child's development. Ultimately it's about balance.
  • cakeordeath
    cakeordeath Posts: 229 Member
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    Ok, where as I don't agree with people not listening to you and following your wishes, I don't see how a peice of candy or something sweet every once and a while (my kids get it once a month or so) is a bad thing.
  • carolyne2
    carolyne2 Posts: 109
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    I feel for you in so much as someone has gone against your wishes with you child. but have to say I think deprovation is maybe not the right way regarding sweet treats. Everything in moderation as they say, you maybe in for a shock when your child goes to school and mixes with other children who have sweets and biscuits birthday cakes etc. Maybe making your own icecream and treats etc would help as you would at least know what has gone into them to make them as healthy a treat as possible.
  • Rosy67
    Rosy67 Posts: 282 Member
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    I'm trying really hard to get my kids to improve their diet and activity levels. The boys aren't overweight, but my daughter is- she's 14 and weighs about 160 lbs (she's nearly 5ft 3). The main problem is that my husband, who also isn't overweight, was diagnosed with angina when he was 40. As he isn't overweight, has never smoked, and has normal cholesterol, it seems fairly safe to say that he must have some really dodgy genes....which my children may have inherited. We don't keep sweets, biscuits or crisps (or should I say candy, cookies or potato chips!) in the house, and we don't have dessert most of the time but i buy them £1 of sweets every week- which they demolish in minutes. The grandparents, though.....sweets, cakes, puddings, you name it, they'll bring it. And the portion sizes! My mum is obese, and his mum, although vegetarian and slim has sky high cholesterol and is on medication. I have tried to explain to them why I am trying to cut that sort of stuff down, but they seem to think that only they are treating the kids, so it doesn't happen that often. And of course if I come over too heavy, it will sound like I am blaming my in-laws for my children's cardiovascular risk....
  • sunnysashka
    sunnysashka Posts: 296
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    Whilst a parent's wishes should be followed it is important to bear in mind that applying the same nutritional guidelines that adults use to pre school children is not a great idea. For example a high fibre diet for a child is generally inappropriate.

    Young children have smaller stomachs so need lots of calories and nutrients in small amounts to ensure they grow properly. Whilst it is better that it comes from natural, clean sources high fat items such as full fat milk and ice cream can be beneficial to a child's development. Ultimately it's about balance.
    Thank you for the information! It is very good point. I agree that my son's diet should be different from mine! But I do not see the need to give extra sugar to my son when he even does not ask for it!
    If we go to the birthday party, I'll let him eat a cake or something else. I just want to have my back covered by my relatives! ((
  • dzilobommo
    dzilobommo Posts: 73 Member
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    I understand you must be annoyed, and I agree that it is not good to over-indulge children in general. But I think there is a difference between over-indulgence and enjoying sweets in moderation. What struck me was that you say your son doesn't even know what sweets are - are you sure this is really the best way to educate him? After all, how long can you keep him from finding out? Once he is old enough to find out, he may feel resentful that he was kept in the dark, or feel shame and guilt for wanting to try sweets and hide them from you. As others have noted, if something is strictly off limits, a child will just want it even more, because curiosity is a basic human trait! I think it might be better to encourage a healthy attitude to food where ice cream is seen for what it is - an occasional treat - rather than a forbidden 'evil' food. But then, this is just my opinion...
  • sunnysashka
    sunnysashka Posts: 296
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    I feel for you in so much as someone has gone against your wishes with you child. but have to say I think deprovation is maybe not the right way regarding sweet treats. Everything in moderation as they say, you maybe in for a shock when your child goes to school and mixes with other children who have sweets and biscuits birthday cakes etc. Maybe making your own icecream and treats etc would help as you would at least know what has gone into them to make them as healthy a treat as possible.
    I agree that I have a problem ahead of me as lunch boxes in school. But I have good 3 years before that. I have time to prepare him for that. Now I want to focus on healthy eating habits while it is under my control.
  • Charli666
    Charli666 Posts: 407
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    I agree that balance is important, but at the same time getting a firm foundation of healthy foods that a child likes is so important within the first 3 years of life, when they start realising they aren't having chocolate, sweets etc and other people are, then they can be added in in small amounts, as treats. The danger of adding them too early is that the child starts refusing to eat things that are good for them, and therefore does not grow up to understand the principals of healthy eating.

    Also regarding the post in relation to children needing high calorie meals, the advice is to give children 3 meals and 3 healthy snacks a day at about 1 1/2 hour intervals, this ensures the calorie intake they need, without providing an excess of sugar or fat.

    I completely understand how you are feeling, you make the decisions about your child! Stick to your instincts, and dont let anyone look after your child without supervision unless you can trust that they will follow your ideals!

    Blessed be x
  • sunnysashka
    sunnysashka Posts: 296
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    I agree that balance is important, but at the same time getting a firm foundation of healthy foods that a child likes is so important within the first 3 years of life, when they start realising they aren't having chocolate, sweets etc and other people are, then they can be added in in small amounts, as treats. The danger of adding them too early is that the child starts refusing to eat things that are good for them, and therefore does not grow up to understand the principals of healthy eating.

    Also regarding the post in relation to children needing high calorie meals, the advice is to give children 3 meals and 3 healthy snacks a day at about 1 1/2 hour intervals, this ensures the calorie intake they need, without providing an excess of sugar or fat.

    I completely understand how you are feeling, you make the decisions about your child! Stick to your instincts, and dont let anyone look after your child without supervision unless you can trust that they will follow your ideals!

    Blessed be x

    Agree with that 100%. Thank you very much for this post.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    need to give extra sugar to my son when he even does not ask for it!
    If we go to the birthday party, I'll let him eat a cake or something else. I just want to have my back covered by my relatives! ((

    I agree. I do not like the idea of "rewarding" a chld with something sweet or using food as a means to gain affection, placate or please them. Equating food with love sows the seeds of a poor relationship with food.

    Easier said than done though. We are all human and imperfect....

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