Family trouble

I would just give the money back and tell them that you dont appreciate be treated like you are a 5 year old, and that if they dont think you are responsible enough to utilize the money wisely, then to never give it again.

Keep the money, cause an uproar. Give it back and won't have to deal with this said person

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I say return it if at all possible. Its seems like this person is power tripping and the situation will only get worse. If this person wasnt around how would you get the $. If there is anyway you can manage w/o taking money from this person, I say good riddens. If not, then you have to humble urself for the wellbeing of ur child.

i'd probably give the money back find a way to manage and tell the person never to contact the family again i myself have not spoken to my own mother for eight years as she is a very self centered person but she's the one missing out on her 3 grand children if someone wants to help you there should never be strings attached they should do it because they want to not because they want something in return no matter what

i would be infuriated and want to yell.... but really, what i would do is be diplomatic and try to apply to that relatives senses - talk calmly, praise them for their generosity and pat them on the back (yes, im serious), then express your feelings about your child and why the money should be spent a certain way -- i would use phrases like "we have a common goal" and "I appreciate your support during this time" , "to work towards our goal we think the best way to approach the situation is by x, what do you think" your relative will want to feel important and like a decision maker so just persuade them to see it your way --- you can negotiate a long way....... and you will feel much better in the end and you will not stir the pot. too much. "you get more with honey than you do with vinegar" -- also, try and say it in person and not by e-mail (i have gotten totally burned and misunderstood that way!)

What a balls situation. I don't know what I'd do with the money, but the person I'd have to say I'd cut out of my/our lives. Nobody needs people like that around.

Hmm that's kind of vague. Personally- when I lend out money to my family (which I've had to do numerous times) I just kiss it goodbye. I don't want money to come between me and my family or friends.
It's hard for me to figure out what I'd do in your shoes, I would have to ask if you can even afford to just give him his loan back, directly?
I'd either do that if I was too proud to give him said updates, or I'd just try to be graceful (if the money was necessary and I couldn't pay it back) and suck it up and give him some updates.

I know there aren't many details - wayyy too many to go into.

It was not given as a "loan" but a "gift" to use in a certain way. I've used it in the way the person wished - most of the money is still sitting there. There was just never any indication that there was supposed to be any kind of accounting or reporting of how the money was spent.

I agreed to provide updates, once the issue was brought up, but basically the person threw a tantrum and said "we couldn't work together" and demanded the money be returned.

It's no wonder they say hindsight is 20/20. Without knowing any more of the details, I think I'd be inclined to let the person know I used a portion of the gift the way I understood he or she wanted me to. I'd then express my regrets that there was a misunderstanding about what the conditions of the gift were and offer to return the remainder. On the other hand, if the relationship is irreparably damaged at this point and it would cause your son much suffering to return the money, I'd consider keeping it and writing it off as a lesson learned.

Personally I would tell them to go scratch.
First off if there was a moral obligation for support even if not a legal one that person should be searching their souls as to why they didn`t.

To put stipulations on it is just a means of belittling you and trying to control you imo.
Spend the money as you see fit,

In my opinion, dearest, keep the money. By all rights, even legal ones, that money is YOURS. It was given as a gift, non-refundable. It wasn't a grant by some corporation that would require receipts, keeping close tabs that the money given out is spent for the reasons requested. It wasn't a loan to be paid back with or without interest. It was a gift to YOU for YOUR son. Keep it, honey. If this person hasn't been around before and this pisses him/her off about keeping it and then proceeds to exit back out of your life, what have you really lost? nothing. If you give back the money, this person most likely will leave your life anyway over all this $h-i-tiness, and then what have you lost? your son's money. If he starts talking legal action? don't let that be your intimidator...people always get scared when the word "lawyer" gets mentioned, but call his bluff. No contracts were made, no paperwork was filed, nothing was ever mentioned about paying it back, and fact that it flat out given to you as a gift makes it 100% all yours to do with as you see fit for your son...Ask any lawyer and they'll tell you the same thing. It'll be alright. YOU are his mother, nobody else, and as such you will always know what is best for him, what's in his best interest, and do everything in your power to do right by him. This person wants to control that part of your life....by gifting a wad of cash, he/she now expects to have a say in all your parental rights and conduct. Don't let him. Keep your money. If I were you, I'd put on my war paint and say "bring it, mother *ucker".