overweight kids

I would limit the amount of snacks in the house, as you probably already do since you and hubby are on the same page... encourage more activity as a family, walk down the road or play a game of ball in the yard? maybe set food schedules if you dont do one already and only allow the healthy snacks like veggies or fruit to be consumed. my kids are only 3 and 5 but i try to push them to understand that fruit is what they should choose for a snack, even though sometimes we do have cookies.

Portion control is a great lesson. Also maybe you could tell her that she needs to become involved in an activity. Let her pick her interest as long as it involves some sort of exercise -- swim team, dance lessons, horse back riding (my personal favorite).

I should have mentioned that we encourage all the kids (6 of them) to be very active and have extracurricular activities. She chose band!

As a flute player, I can tell you that my yoga is improving my air flow.... perhaps that's a way to get her moving?

That is a tough situation with a 12 year old girl...they are already so critical of their selves at that age. Modeling appropriate eating and let her see you be active are the best ways. Do you have a Wii or any other gaming system? Buy some fun games like Just Dance that is very active but aren't "exercise". That is something the whole family would have fun doing.

I do think a family fitness activity is a wonderful idea. It will help bring you closer and keep you all fit.

Maybe have her try out a few different activities. As a child I hated team sports but luckily I was good at running so that kept me thin. Exercise is really no fun when you hate the activity.

If her siblings are al active and healthy weights, I would be willing to bet she already recognizes that she's overweight and less fit than her brothers and sisters. I think youre making the right choice by not singling her out or sitting her down for a chat just yet. That might come later down the road if she continues to gain, but right now just encourage healthy choices nicely. And as the parents, I am assuming that you do the grocery shopping. If her favorite high calorie snacks arent in the house, then she cant eat them. When/if she notices that you arent buying the same snacks or foods, just remind her that you are all trying to live healthier and eat better, and maybe tell her how weight loss works (calories in vs calories out). She might want to lose the weight for herself already, so if she knows HOW to without getting a lecture/chat/conversation, then she may take it on herself to start trying to shed the weight. Wouldnt that be great!?
Lead by example, just like youre doing now, and try to remain positive about it. My husband was an overweight kid and he still has food issues (doesnt want our daughter drinking too much milk ... she's ONE! and he still tends to buy fat-free foods since that was all the rage when his mom was bribing him to lose weight in middle school.) Whatever you do, dont bribe her! (not that you would, but I am living with a grown man who is still feeling the effects of "if you lose 30 lbs this summer, we'll give you $100")
Good luck! Keep us posted

I wouldn't push her to do any extracurricular activities if she doesn't want to but definitely encourage family outings. Going for walks, swimming, skating, skiing. Either the whole family or maybe just you and her. Maybe she just hasn't found the activity that she enjoys yet. Instead of emphasizing activity to her, maybe just focus on these activities as family time.

Oh, I thought of one more thing. Food isn't a reward. We don't bribe with food (ex get straight A's and then we can go get ice cream). Ice cream is a treat, but not a motivation. THat just sets us up to be emotional eaters as adults.

Maybe if she sees you exercizing, it'll set a good example for her. Also....mother daughter walks? My mom used to walk and I would go with her sometimes. It was fun because we could talk and hang out one on one, and it was also exercize. I didn't look where you are from, so right now it may not be the best time. But maybe something for the future?

I agree with what everyone else said. Maybe it would be helpful to cook only enough food for one serving.

Oh a big thing to help would be to pack her lunch. School lunches put 25 pounds on me. (I'm a teacher). The salad bar may have some stuff on it that's not too healthy or low calorie.

Portion control is key, switch to the little salad plates instead of dinner plates.
If she is buying lunch you should pack one with her. School lunches are cheap because fat is cheap. I have lots of kids lunch ideas if you want them.
Get active with them. I play soccer with my kids when we are bored. Inside the house!
Have them help out around the house even more than they are. Pretend that you are stressed and need more help. Sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, dusting, shoveling, raking, scrubbing the bathtub all add calories to the day and prevent sitting.
Family outings should be places that you can walk like parks and camping. Biking and skating are other nice activities even in the winter. Tell your daughter that you want to go out but you are nervous about skating(etc.) alone and beg her to join you.
My mother had me walk an elderly neighbors dog twice a day in high school. I got a great workout.
Have healthier snacks on hand and slowly take away the fattening ones. Kids love fruit and veggie smoothies and bean dips for pita chips. She may like whole grain tortillas and salsa.
I just wouldn't mention her weight to her. It's not about her, it's about choosing better food.