overweight kids

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  • baypathgradLyns
    baypathgradLyns Posts: 639 Member
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    Its good to know that a mother is trying to find a nice/careful way to bring up exercise and eating well...when I started gaining weight (I was probably 13/14), my mom showed me a pic of when I was younger, and thinner, and said I needed to lose weight...definately killed my self-esteem...and I think that made me want to eat more, just to make her mad...
  • gina205
    gina205 Posts: 74 Member
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    I agree with what everyone else said. Maybe it would be helpful to cook only enough food for one serving.
  • appleshells
    appleshells Posts: 165
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    We have a wii, she likes to play the wii fit. We are planning on getting the just dance.

    We generally have baseball, football or kickball games in the yard after dinner. Sadly we are buried under about 14 inches of snow right now and haven't seen our grass in 3 months! I can not wait for spring!
  • appleshells
    appleshells Posts: 165
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    Maybe if she sees you exercizing, it'll set a good example for her. Also....mother daughter walks? My mom used to walk and I would go with her sometimes. It was fun because we could talk and hang out one on one, and it was also exercize. I didn't look where you are from, so right now it may not be the best time. But maybe something for the future?

    hmmm I like that, we could walk at the mall!!
  • appleshells
    appleshells Posts: 165
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    Do you know what she's eating at school? Another mom I know found out that her weight-troubled kid was eating breakfast at home -- then going to school and eating a two-pack of Pop-Tarts that were one of the school breakfast offerings! Plus schools seem to serve snacks at every conceivable opportunity. It sounds like y'all have the home front well under control, I'm just wondering whether there's some other source of excess calories in her life that needs to be addressed.

    I wish you good luck in dealing with a tough issue!

    Oh we have talked and talked about what she eats at school. She is getting salad for lunch almost daily. I am trying to teach her the healthier choices of what to put on top of her salads.
  • appleshells
    appleshells Posts: 165
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    I should note that she has never ever been a "skinny" kid. She has always had a thick middle and chubby face, and skinny stick legs.
  • jam3114
    jam3114 Posts: 250 Member
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    I was just like your daughter and my mother went the hard route & dictated everything I ate & exercised. I have memories of being made to skip rope in the back yard (not my choice). For me I do think that this path has played a major part in my own attitude to food/exercise. I spent my teenage years rebelling against her mostly by secret eating & I have been overweight from about 12/13yrs old. Both of my brothers were active & healthy weights - I suppose what I'm saying is that I know my mother did what she needed to do out of love but it didn't really work - I wish you and your daughter luck because it is a very difficult time for her and also for you as you only want the very best. I feel like that with my daughter who is 15 - I never want her to experience the pain & hurt of being overweight especially as a teenager.
  • kwardklinck
    kwardklinck Posts: 1,601
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    Oh a big thing to help would be to pack her lunch. School lunches put 25 pounds on me. (I'm a teacher). The salad bar may have some stuff on it that's not too healthy or low calorie.
  • MeghanAM
    MeghanAM Posts: 222 Member
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    Getting her to help you with the cooking would be a good way to teach her portion control without it being about her weight. I'm just now, as a young adult, learning what proper portion sizes are. It would have been better for my health if I'd learned early on what one portion of spaghetti or rice looks like!

    Family cooking is a good way for kids to grow a healthy relationship with food.

    It's great that you're being careful how you approach this with your daughter. I, like so many, was done a big disservice by my mom's handling of my weight.
  • msemejuru
    msemejuru Posts: 229
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    Portion control is key, switch to the little salad plates instead of dinner plates.
    If she is buying lunch you should pack one with her. School lunches are cheap because fat is cheap. I have lots of kids lunch ideas if you want them.
    Get active with them. I play soccer with my kids when we are bored. Inside the house!
    Have them help out around the house even more than they are. Pretend that you are stressed and need more help. Sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, dusting, shoveling, raking, scrubbing the bathtub all add calories to the day and prevent sitting.
    Family outings should be places that you can walk like parks and camping. Biking and skating are other nice activities even in the winter. Tell your daughter that you want to go out but you are nervous about skating(etc.) alone and beg her to join you.
    My mother had me walk an elderly neighbors dog twice a day in high school. I got a great workout.
    Have healthier snacks on hand and slowly take away the fattening ones. Kids love fruit and veggie smoothies and bean dips for pita chips. She may like whole grain tortillas and salsa.
    I just wouldn't mention her weight to her. It's not about her, it's about choosing better food.
  • mfkfoster
    mfkfoster Posts: 331 Member
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    12 is a tough time for girls they are starting to hit puberty. Your hormones go all crazy to get ready and the pounds sometimes pack on. I would just try to set a good example and ask her to going "shopping" with you at the mall or even grocery shopping and make sure you go up and down every aisle. It's walking! I know that sometimes kids can be picky eaters so try to get more veggies and fruit into her. Sneak them if you have to. I do for my daughter. She hates veggies but she loves her spinach brownies! He He:blushing: Also try to get more fiber in her diet. Fiber fills you up and helps with weight loss. I wouldn't really worry too much. Just keep and eye on her and try to encourage some activity. Band is a great activity! When she's playing she can't eat!
  • Boooie
    Boooie Posts: 110
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    When one of my kids was that age she was worried about her weight and id say she was bigger then your daughter,she asked for me to help her so i thought it best to take her to the drs and get there advice as what is best to do, he wouldn't do anything to help. As he said at that age they are beginning to deal with hormones kicking in etc and that child's body needs that extra fuel in it , so he told me to come back with her once shes 16 if her weight was an issue then, Well she is now approaching 16 and her weight has leveled out nicely for her height and is not a concern any more. So maybe just keep an eye on it for now but try not to worry to much unless you see her weight going up to much.

    Mandy :)
  • OperaticAnnihilator
    OperaticAnnihilator Posts: 83
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    I dont personally have kids, but my little sister is worse off than your daughter, she is 12 and 5'2" and weighs like 150. My parents let her do. I think that the best way to go about it is maybe investing in a wii and get sports and exercise ames and have family wii nights. It would encourage her and everyone else to play hard in order to beat each other, plus you can burn a lot of calories from those games. We have a wii and my sister loves playing on it. Just makes sure you dont buy the games where she can just sit on her butt and push a button.
  • wriglucy
    wriglucy Posts: 1,064 Member
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    Hi again...I forgot to mention this, but could she being going through a growth spurt soon? I always gained weight before a growth spurt (and I think most kids do), and then I grew some and evened out. Just a thought :)
  • Christine1110
    Christine1110 Posts: 1,786 Member
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    I'm always at the school...and find it shocking that the kids eat so poorly there. They might offer a healthy choice, but also offer pizza, & burgers. The kids won't eat healthy with all that crap offered. What are they doing to the kids in America. I wish they would wake up and see kids are getting lazy and eating poorly. You may want to check the school lunch program in your area. You can watch what they eat at home....but might want a lunch packed for school, for better health.

    I think your wise not to point this out to your child, and are taking the time to educate all your kids... It will pay off in the long run.
  • jrbb0309
    jrbb0309 Posts: 55
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    Make it all about health and include all your kids, not just your daughter. The likelihood is that she's maybe about to go through a growth spurt and the weight will redistribute. That said, have her grocery shop with you and help you check labels. Have her get involved in cooking healthy meals with you. When anyone wants seconds, offer them fruit or veggies. If they don't want them, they're obviously not hungry. Make it something the whole family is doing together. Get out for walks once the weather gets better or short ones even when it's so-so. Ask her to help *you* by going for walks with you. Make it something she can be proud of, instead of something to feel self-conscious about.

    When I was ten, my dad made a comment about my jeans being too tight and that I looked like I'd put on a few pounds. I was 5'1" at the time and I weighed maybe 100 pounds. I went through a huge growth spurt a couple of months later, got my period, hit 5'7" and became anorexic trying to control my food and not be fat and disgusting to my father. That one single comment, which I know he really didn't mean anything by and was only trying to be helpful, totally destroyed my self-esteem and started a life-long battle with food and my weight.

    So please, whatever you do, do not mention her weight to her or the idea of dieting. Make everything about being healthy and making healthier choices and apply it to the whole family.
  • mayburcm
    mayburcm Posts: 24
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    The suggestions people are making sound really good to me. Chances are that your daughter already recognizes that she is heavier than her siblings or other children around. I think the best thing you could do for someone at that age is to emphasis eating healthy to everyone in the family (which it sounds like you're already doing) and don't emphasize dieting. I grew up in a house where my mom was always "dieting" and my best friend's mom was on a different fad diet every second week. Being exposed to that type of behavior really obscures what a healthy relationship with food is. Teaching about a healthy lifestyle (including the importance of portion sizes) is so much more important than starting a cycle of "dieting".

    Being active as a family, or having some special mother daughter time to do something active. I know some gyms even have mother daughter classes which can be really fun. Emphasis how much you value a healthy lifestyle and don't force her to do anything, make it enjoyable so that she'll want to spend that time being active.
  • appleshells
    appleshells Posts: 165
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    She LOVES vegetables, we always joke that she could easily be a vegetarian.

    I have been thinking that it may be a stage before a growth spurt too. Like I said before, there is nothing "bad" to eat in the house since both my husband and I are getting healthy. We want this to trickle down to the kids so they won't face the weight issues that we have. We are normally a very active family, beach, parks, amusement park, etc. Winter is just the pits here.
  • RedHotRunner
    RedHotRunner Posts: 850 Member
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    I also agree with doing things as a family. I run 10K's and whenever there's one available, I sign my daughter up for the attached kids fun run, which I usually end up running with her.

    We also bike ride together, play on the playground, swim, etc.

    And as someone mentioned, she might be getting ready for a growth spurt, so be very careful how this is handled. My stepson was also getting very pudgy around that age, but after a year or two, it all evened out (and his diet isn't healthy by any means).

    Good luck.

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