Ever wanna yell and delete?

mamagooskie
mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
edited September 23 in Chit-Chat
One of you MFP friends? I've had it happen 2x since I joined almost a year ago where I had to delete someone for finally just getting on my last nerve. I wish I could yell at them and give some tough love or some shut up and do it already but I don't wanna hurt any feelings so I just quietly hit the button that will release them from my life.

One person was gone about 6 months ago and one today. You know the people who whine about the same stuff week after week after week for MONTHS on end and take the advice they are given and let it go in one ear and out the other. Never putting anything into action, because they are "STARTING TOMMORROW"

I feel bad because this one friend I got rid of today has actually gained like 24lbs in the last 4 months and probably will continue to go no where because of the constant partying, festivities, game nights and cheat nights they have every week. I found it utterly exhausting to keep cheering this person on ..... and I was getting depressed reading all the complaints, so I did what I had to do and I hit DELETE!!!

I feel so much better now!

Replies

  • fitniknik
    fitniknik Posts: 713 Member
    been there
  • Clew
    Clew Posts: 910 Member
    Yeah ... most of us have splurge occasions but we work it in. To cave every dang day and then whine about why they aren't making any progress is aggravating.
  • Dencrossgirl
    Dencrossgirl Posts: 501 Member
    I have one too, actually two, one I am scared to delete, she would for sure hunt me down lol and make me hear her bull****.
  • kelika71
    kelika71 Posts: 778 Member
    I hear ya! I cringe when I have to delete someone. We all have bad days...learn from it and stop repeating. Sheesh! I know they say it takes a few times to practice to get it right, but when they've been given the answers?!
    My other peeve is I'm cheering others on, but get nothing from them? Why add me?!?! I don't get that. Of course, I don't cheer for # of days logged in or completing a diary. I feel those are kind of trivial.

    Anyway, congrats to you on doing so well, OP!!
  • bbygrl5
    bbygrl5 Posts: 964 Member
    Yes! We all go through rough times and might even have a period of time where a week or two might be hard, but I had one friend who day after day for months was whining and pity partying about how he was over his calories. every. single. day... no exaggeration.

    After many supportive and encouraging comments on my behalf being met with constant defensiveness, I finally had to delete. I can understand going through periods of struggle, but geez! There comes a point where you have to start taking responsibility for your own decisions.

    If I was just being myself and not sugarcoating things to this person, I would have said this as a parting comment to them:

    *b*itchslap* Man up!
  • Vicky14174
    Vicky14174 Posts: 715 Member
    Maybe tough love was what they needed. My best friends have always told me what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear. They have been my friends for over 30 years and are like sisters to me. We don't always agree on everything but we are always honest with each other even when that means we have to "tell it like it is". If they are a true friend then they will see that you are trying to help not hurt.
  • kelika71
    kelika71 Posts: 778 Member
    Maybe tough love was what they needed. My best friends have always told me what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear. They have been my friends for over 30 years and are like sisters to me. We don't always agree on everything but we are always honest with each other even when that means we have to "tell it like it is". If they are a true friend then they will see that you are trying to help not hurt.

    I tried that tough love on someone and they in turn jumped me saying that's not what they needed. So, what do you do? They whine, but don't want to hear the truth? IMO, then leave because you're not ready to change. Sorry, but I'm so sick of the BS. I have enough I'm coping with and people don't want to hear the truth. I refuse to hear the excuses, unless you're physically hurting. I hurt almost every day and if I can do it, you bet I won't listen to some flimsy excuse that someone can't do it! :)
  • Hotlips69
    Hotlips69 Posts: 66
    I believe sometimes we need to get rid of the negative and surround ourselves with the positives!! Always keep an open door for this person when they come back cause they will when they fall hard but until then, they need to find themselves and figure out what they want in life. Maybe they haven't hit there bottom yet! Just continue your journey and stay focused for yourself.
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
    Maybe tough love was what they needed. My best friends have always told me what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear. They have been my friends for over 30 years and are like sisters to me. We don't always agree on everything but we are always honest with each other even when that means we have to "tell it like it is". If they are a true friend then they will see that you are trying to help not hurt.

    nah not a true friend at all.......one of those lurkers on MFP, they friend a bunch of people, never really are on enough to actually congratulate us or inspire anyone else.....but find enough time each day to complain about EVERYTHING.

    I'm glad that person is gone!! Not the kind of "friend" I want here or in real life.
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
    Went from 250 to 249 today! Whoops!
  • lyndsloo
    lyndsloo Posts: 242
    please tell so i can steer clear! :)
  • Wendi_S
    Wendi_S Posts: 489 Member
    Went from 250 to 249 today! Whoops!

    **checking friends list** :wink:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    see that is what is cool about the written word on the internet..........scroll!!!!!!

    :wink: :laugh: :laugh:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    Went from 250 to 249 today! Whoops!

    **checking friends list** :wink:

    Well now you have room for ME!!! :bigsmile:
  • modernfemme
    modernfemme Posts: 454 Member
    Only people who get on my nerves are people who say they are vegan/vegetarian who sometimes eat fish and chicken. This is my place to be honest about myself and I just cant tolerate that kind of bull. Though I probably wont delete over it :)
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
    One of you MFP friends? I've had it happen 2x since I joined almost a year ago where I had to delete someone for finally just getting on my last nerve. I wish I could yell at them and give some tough love or some shut up and do it already but I don't wanna hurt any feelings so I just quietly hit the button that will release them from my life.

    One person was gone about 6 months ago and one today. You know the people who whine about the same stuff week after week after week for MONTHS on end and take the advice they are given and let it go in one ear and out the other. Never putting anything into action, because they are "STARTING TOMMORROW"

    I feel bad because this one friend I got rid of today has actually gained like 24lbs in the last 4 months and probably will continue to go no where because of the constant partying, festivities, game nights and cheat nights they have every week. I found it utterly exhausting to keep cheering this person on ..... and I was getting depressed reading all the complaints, so I did what I had to do and I hit DELETE!!!

    I feel so much better now!

    Yes. Often.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    *sigh* If only it were so easy with real-life people... :wink:
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
    Only people who get on my nerves are people who say they are vegan/vegetarian who sometimes eat fish and chicken. This is my place to be honest about myself and I just cant tolerate that kind of bull. Though I probably wont delete over it :)

    Ya that could be frustrating. I would delete over that if the person mentioned it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY though.

    I'm a vegan but I make exceptions for fish, chicken, beef, pork, eggs, milk, cheese......and gelatin. I love my wool and leather and I can't give up my beeswax lipbalm!! LOL
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
    *sigh* If only it were so easy with real-life people... :wink:

    Yes if only!!!! lol
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
    Went from 250 to 249 today! Whoops!

    **checking friends list** :wink:

    Well now you have room for ME!!! :bigsmile:

    omg I'm a bit slow......I thought this person meant lbs.....and I couldn't figure out what the heck it had to with my thread!! HAHAHA silly me I just figured out it was the friends count! LOL
  • loonpine2
    loonpine2 Posts: 44 Member
    Yes, there is one person on my MFP that I really want to delete and I might just do it.
    I do whine at times but I work my butt off 155lbs since I started MFP and a total of 203 since Jan 2010. It's hard to start and I use to make excuses why I couldn't exersice now it seem I make excuses why I have to go exersice. LOL
  • Trovan
    Trovan Posts: 133 Member
    Hey! Why'd you delete me?







    j/k
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
    loonpine2........I hope its not me you wanna delete and this is just my "warning" LOL!

    You are awesome and such an ispiration......I've been whiney this year so far several times just since I've hit a plateau or whatnot......but I hope I'm not driving everyone crazy.
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
    Hey! Why'd you delete me?







    j/k

    HAHAHA....... :)
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
    One of you MFP friends? I've had it happen 2x since I joined almost a year ago where I had to delete someone for finally just getting on my last nerve. I wish I could yell at them and give some tough love or some shut up and do it already but I don't wanna hurt any feelings so I just quietly hit the button that will release them from my life.

    One person was gone about 6 months ago and one today. You know the people who whine about the same stuff week after week after week for MONTHS on end and take the advice they are given and let it go in one ear and out the other. Never putting anything into action, because they are "STARTING TOMMORROW"

    I feel bad because this one friend I got rid of today has actually gained like 24lbs in the last 4 months and probably will continue to go no where because of the constant partying, festivities, game nights and cheat nights they have every week. I found it utterly exhausting to keep cheering this person on ..... and I was getting depressed reading all the complaints, so I did what I had to do and I hit DELETE!!!

    I feel so much better now!
    I do understand there are definitely times to drop members for various reasons. But am curious why you felt the need to start a thread to announce it first, when it's just as simple to click remove friend and move on. :huh: Why announce it on here and make a big deal of it? Not sure I see the point of that.

    To create a thread each time we get frustrated about a member seems pointless though.:noway: Unless you're doing it for validation or ridicule. .:frown:
  • 1southernchick
    1southernchick Posts: 301 Member
    Agreed, I just deleted my first peep this week. I couldn't take it anymore.
  • YeaILift
    YeaILift Posts: 580 Member
    I don't feel guilty at all about removing someone off my Friend's List who is annoying. I can't stand to get 15 minute updates on people's personal life. Also, I have removed a few people who aren't *really* trying to lose weight. I don't want to be around someone with a lack of self-motivation or drive. It just brings me down, too.
  • MobiusMan
    MobiusMan Posts: 385 Member
    Lets start a NO WHINE ZONE thread. only positive comments and constructive criticism allowed.
  • katschi
    katschi Posts: 689 Member
    I deleted a friend who is also a friend/co-worker in real life. She didn't take it too well and didn't accept my explanation (and also that I didn't delete her from REAL LIFE).
    I don't think that every friend is good for all aspects of your life. We are a lot alike in ways that wouldn't be beneficial to me here right now.

    I feel bad about it because I hurt her feelings.
    I also feel that I made the right decision for me at this time, though.

    This is the last time I'm going to lose this fat. I intend to do everything that I need to do in order to succeed even if that means that some people's feelings will get hurt.

    I hope she comes to understand in time but if not, oh well.
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