Something I do not like about MFP

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  • appleshells
    appleshells Posts: 165
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    I am 5ft tall and set a goal weight for myself of 140-150. I will be happy at that weight and comfortable in my skin. sadly, I will still be "overweight" on the bmi chart. BUT it is discouraging to me when I look at all of the 5ft tall girls on here who want to be 100 pounds. It makes me feel like I have to readjust my goal.
  • loupammac
    loupammac Posts: 194 Member
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    It's almost as if the sign-up process should calculate your BMI and then show you the healthy BMI range for your height. Then, it should ask your for your "Ultimate Goal Weight" and only allow you to choose between that healthy range. We should all aim to be within our healthy range and feeling happy and comfortable with ourselves. I'm in the healthy BMI range for me but I'm not happy with my current physique, so I continue to work hard to tone up and achieve a body I'm happy about :)

    All the power in the world to those with healthy goals and even more to those with unhealthy goals, in hope they'll see the error in their ways.
  • elizabethl27
    elizabethl27 Posts: 52 Member
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    AMEN SISTER!! I've posted a similar topic in the past! I have a MFP friend whose goal is to be 95 pounds!! (She's currently like 105) Her diary is viewable and most days she only eats 500-700 calories a day AND PEOPLE CONGRATULATE HER!! When the feed shows "so-in-so completed her diary and was under her calorie goal" people say "great job!" UMMM HELLO! Are you even looking at the diary?! I will NEVER EVER encourage someone to eat less than 1000 calories a day. NEVER!

    I also agree with you that every body type holds weight differently. People tell me ALL the time that I do not need to lose any weight, but I've talked to specialists and they say the healthy weight for ME is 130-135. Right now I'm 5'7'' at 145 pounds. I don't think my goals are unrealistic, but some people's on her definitely are!


    Yeah! I have the same situation with a girl on my friends list! She wants to weigh less than 100 and eats very little, and people congratulate her! I think that's what made me want to write this post!!
  • elizabethl27
    elizabethl27 Posts: 52 Member
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    Maybe who ever this person is typed the wrong number in!!!! Some people have typo's,.I agree with you that it is unhealthy however,If it bothers you so bad then maybe you should step up by messaging her with numbers that are healthy!! Maybe she just don't know any better.Please don't take my suggestions as me being rude,I just know alot of us are still learning healthy ways of living.Thanks for your post.


    The funny thing is I have messaged a few of these girls and they come up with a lot of excuses. "I just have at tiny frame"...That's why I posted this; maybe one of these girls will see it and reevaulate their goals. Thanks for you opinion.
  • elizabethl27
    elizabethl27 Posts: 52 Member
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    Thanks everybody for your feedback! It's nice to hear what other think :)
  • ladyhawk00
    ladyhawk00 Posts: 2,457 Member
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    i really hope the ladies who had goal weights in the 90s and 100 were like 4'11" or 5' tall! ... I agree that maybe there should be a warning/setting that at least gives a warning if the goal weight is set too low. Curious though, are the goal weights entered in our goals or just in our tickers? I honestly can't remember.... Anyhoo..... As far as people saying "good job" and "wtg" when so-and-so finished under their calorie goal, i am sure those ppl arent actually clicking thru to LOOK at the diaries. To be a good and SUPPORTIVE MFP friend, you dont just need to stand by and cheer blindly, please give ACTUAL support to your friends. LOOK at their diaries if they are open. Give them gentle feedback and guidance when appropriate and the "WTG!" when its warranted. Not only can you then have meaningful convos with your friends, you may actually learn more about nutrition and meal ideas yourself. So its not just for them, its for you too. If you don't have time to look thru on everyones diary, thats ok! We dont expect a "hooray" comment every day from every friend anyways :) But please, if you KNOW that a friend or friends are consistently under-eating or under-nourishing (eating crap food) don't go and give them the blind "wtg" because you are doing nothing to educate and actually support them. We are all on a journey and we all need to arrive at our goals in a healthy way, IMO :)

    [climbs back down off soapbox]

    Couldn't have said it better myself! And yes, goal weights are entered into settings as well as tickers.:wink:
  • elizabethl27
    elizabethl27 Posts: 52 Member
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    totally agree with this issue of people having ridiculous goals--- but I don't think this is something to not like about MFP. They are providing these great tools for people to succeed and giving the guidelines on how to lose wight safely. There is no way a website can monitor how smartly people use the site. Even if they put more warnings in place when someone is aiming for a goal that's too low, you can't stop a person from doing this if they are bent on making that happen.

    Such a thought-provoking topic though--putting this thought out there may help the "friends" of these people with unrealistic goals and bad eating habits to offer more honest advice.......

    thanks for bringing it up!

    Yes, that is true; it is hard to control everybody on here. But I hope some girls will at least reevaulate their goals if they read this. Thanks for your opinion!
  • stevobo
    stevobo Posts: 23 Member
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    Agreed- ideal weight ranges are just a guide- the reason there's so much variation between them is because people are different.
    Sometimes, I think it's better to use a mirror as a weight guide rather than scales- as long as you look at yourself realistically and objectively.
    Personally, I jump up and down naked in front of a mirror, and if anything moves that shouldn't move, it's time to cut down on the calories!
    ;-)
  • elizabethl27
    elizabethl27 Posts: 52 Member
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    I definitely agree with you...as much as I LOVE MFP, some people's goal weights have made me question my own at times.

    I am a tall girl [a bit over 5'9] and my original goal was 170 with a healthy BMI, but then I felt like that number was too big compared to other MFP ladies...so I changed my goal to a BMI of 23 & weight of 155. I am very athletic and know that my body won't look great any lower than that, but I've actually had other tall girls tell me that I could "lose alot more" or that I'd look "super hot" if I weighed 130! It's hard sometimes to stick to what I know about my body and not just want to be skinnnnnny. Thanks for posting this. It makes me feel a bit more secure in my goals :flowerforyou:

    That makes me angry that somebody would try to force those lower goals on you, especially if you feel comfortable with your own goals. I looked at your pics and you look great! I hope you stick with what makes you comfortable :)
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    Completely agree!
  • elizabethl27
    elizabethl27 Posts: 52 Member
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    To be honest, I get MAD when I see someone bragging and being congratulated for terrible food practices. I just read a thread in the forum where the girl was consuming around 200 net calories a day and asking if she should "do more". Seriously?! :grumble:

    I HATE that some people have taken this amazing site and are using it for their unhealthy, dangerous, eating-disorder weight-loss attempts. (I do realize that they're ill, and I do have sympathy.. but it's still annoying!).

    :mad:

    Wow! That's scary! What many people don't understand is that person is probably anorexic and they are supporting it!
  • dawnslaughter
    dawnslaughter Posts: 125
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    i agree. there are some people on here who are really thin and are on here trying to lose weight, there is too much of and expectation to be a size zero put on young girls. i think women should have something to hug and not be a bag of bones, the thing is the magazines use photoshop and make the stars look a lot thinner and spot free and wrinkle free, its not real! and the cat walk modles are not the happiest people on the planet if the news stories about them are anything to go by. ASPIRE TO BE YOURSELF, NOT SOME ONE ELSE.
  • cris12
    cris12 Posts: 90
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    Completely, completely agree. People need to stop obsessing over a number on a scale, even MFP says body measurements are a more accurate way of tracking your weight loss. I personally would just love it if people said my goal is to look like this: ___ and this is how I'm getting there. I just hope people don't fill that blank with walking skeletons.

    Also, this seems to be a problem more with girls than guys, from what I've seen, and I still don't know how girls haven't understood that being just skin and bones is not only unhealthy, but unattractive.
  • britshiv9
    britshiv9 Posts: 12
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    I agree! I see those and I'm thinking how is that healthy? That seems to me that they're going from one extreme to the other, over weight to Anorexic. I read one who wanted to be that skinny so she could go to school and be skinny. I was over weight in high school and of course I wanted to lose the extra weight, but for me not for anyone else and never to the point of being unhealthy. I pray for those who aim too low.

    Some people look at celebritys that are under weight and think if they can why not me? Well because those people don't have the right support telling them that they're unhealthy.
  • sweebum
    sweebum Posts: 1,060 Member
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    This site isn't really for those people. This site is for people who are ready and willing to be healthier FOREVER.

    Not the ones who live under 1200 calories and exercise 3 hours a day, not the HCG 500 calorie starve myself and "reset my hypothalamus", not the I'm 100 lbs and "like soooo fat" or the can I eat nothing but broccoli for 3 months and lose weight people. :grumble:

    Luckily, they don't stay long :laugh:
  • mbrotnitsky
    mbrotnitsky Posts: 44 Member
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    Bravo:smile:
  • elizabethl27
    elizabethl27 Posts: 52 Member
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    You guys are exactly right! And i get a little nervous when girls are exercising 5 hours straight...that seems obsessive and unhealthy. You need to give yourself a break!!
  • cakeyrach
    cakeyrach Posts: 22
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    You are totally right. I have set what a lot of my family might think of as a very low goal, I have never been thin or the right weight for my height, I am 5' 4". I am a realist though and when I get to 140 and I like what I see then I shall stay there, I will still have shed over 4 stone by then which will be a massive achievement. Roll on that day and good luck to everyone!
  • Mrs_McFadden
    Mrs_McFadden Posts: 1,139
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    Until I became pregnant I weighed 118-120 lbs. I'm 5' 8". That was my natural weight ..and I have never counted a calorie or dieted in any sense of the word until I started at MFP.
    Some of us actually have thinner builds?
    For those of that are naturally slender I see no problem with this. I had a perfectly normal menstruation (see above, and I've had three children) and my skin and teeth and perfectly healthy and normal.
    *Everyone* is different.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    I have an idea in mind of how I want to look and the size/weight I'd like to be, but really, it's a fitness thing for me. I want to be fit enough to run 5k with ease. Then maybe 10k. Then... who knows?

    One of my turning points was when my dog escaped a few months ago, and I had to run to the park to catch him. I was winded and wheezing forever. I'm not a kid, but 38 isn't exactly old, either. I should be in good enough shape to jog a few blocks. I should be strong enough to do whatever I put my mind to. And I will be. :smile:

    I remember one one forum I used to visit... it wasn't a fitness or weight loss forum. I think it was about pets. There was a 12 or 13 year old girl who wanted to be a jockey. That was my dream at that age, too. But she was already about 5'6, and growing. There's no way she's could be light enough to meet the weight requirements and still be strong enough to handle a 1500 pound racehorse. She didn't understand the damage she'd do to her body to try to be under 100 lbs. She didn't want to consider any other alternative careers that would still be involving horses. She ended up getting banned from the forum for having hissy fits, but I always wonder what happened to her. I hope she embraced who she is, instead of trying to be something she can't be.

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