No support at home

Options
xerinx2011
xerinx2011 Posts: 222
in Motivation and Support
Well as the title says really. My other half gives me no support at all. Ive been doing this for over 2 weeks and he takes the mick when im exercising (out of breathe, wobbly bits ect) and refuses to eat healthy at all! Ive lost 13lbs so far and hes not once said well done or that he can see a difference. Obviously im not doing this for him but for me but i really could do with him telling me im doing well sometimes!

I struggle with motivation sometimes and i would love him to encourage me.

Sorry for the rant but i needed to get it out somewhere!!
«1

Replies

  • princess_f
    princess_f Posts: 148
    Options
    Thankfully my husband is being good with the comments and tried to encourage me but other members of my family are just crap, Rather than saying well done it comes with a dig!!

    Remember you have all the support of MFP and if you need a kick to get motivated we are always here :D x
  • luv2ash
    luv2ash Posts: 1,903 Member
    Options
    He is just not ready yet, he is not ready to make changes for himself, and he is not ready for you to make changes. You can't let it keep you from doing what you want to do. He will be on board when he sees you being so successful.
  • jade_85
    jade_85 Posts: 96
    Options
    i dont understand men :( he should be so proud of u for doing something about it. dont take any notice 13lbs is a great loss keep at it xx
  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Posts: 1,740 Member
    Options
    Read this post, it might be the reason. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/172858-finally-figured-out-why-hubby-hasn-t-supported-all-of-my-eff
  • xerinx2011
    xerinx2011 Posts: 222
    Options
    Thanks for your replies... i think hes just wrapped up in his own lil world that nothing else really matters (or gets noticed!)
  • Waynes_World
    Waynes_World Posts: 333
    Options
    Keep up the hard work !!! You are doing great ;}
  • JeanK56
    JeanK56 Posts: 76
    Options
    Don't apologize for the rant...sometimes it's necessary. You are doing a fantastic job and in time he may come around and join you...It's still new to him. Good luck and keep at it!
  • MelissaL582
    MelissaL582 Posts: 1,422 Member
    Options
    You're doing great!! We're your supporters! ((hugs))
  • loupammac
    loupammac Posts: 194 Member
    Options
    Huh, odd. Most men tend to notice if their ladies have lost weight. At least mine notices and he will listen to me talk about the gym while rubbing my love handles (one of his favourite squishy bits). He's the first to exclaim after a cuddle that I'm getting slimmer. He loves me at whatever weight but he likes to encourage and support me in my effort to feel and look good. I suspect he's also keen for my bikini to make an appearance.

    I hope your man snaps out of it soon and starts giving you the support you deserve from your partner! It just isn't fair on you :( You need him and he's being a butthead.
  • Goal_Seeker_1988
    Goal_Seeker_1988 Posts: 1,619 Member
    Options
    Maybe he is just scared that if you lose weight you will look great and will want to leave him for someone else. Idk, men are strange. My man makes fun of the food I eat, but says I am doin good. But he also says I don't need to go to the gym and sometimes makes a big deal about it. Oh well. Men suck!
  • ErrataCorrige
    ErrataCorrige Posts: 649 Member
    Options
    We support you!


    Most men don't like change. Especially if it means he thinks she might get hotter than him and start looking around.

    If you think it just because he's oblivious, tell him so, and ask for the support you need. Men really can get trapped in their own little world. There is nothing wrong with telling him that you need to hear how awesome you are more often.
  • Hova1914
    Hova1914 Posts: 82 Member
    Options
    I don't know what taking the Mick is, but it sounds like a jerk thing to do. Especially since he does it while you're exercising.

    In his defense tho, most people don't notice you're losing weight until your 20 pounds down. If it was me, I would at least pretend to notice a difference or give you a "looking good!" every now & then. But all people are different.

    And you really can't expect him to eat healthy just because you want to eat healthy. It's unfair for you to force YOUR diet on him. Admittedly, it would be nice if he did decide to eat healthier. But I'm not gonna give up meat just because my fiancé decides she wants to be a vegan and I don't expect her to give up wine or cocktails because I decided to stop drinking.

    Either way, you need to talk to him and tell him how serious you are about losing weight and wanting to succeed (express this isnt a fad diet, you're trying to make this a lifestyle) and it would be nice if he gave you some support. And when you do, give him like 5 or 6 examples of supportive things he can do. We men are slow sometimes, so you have to spell out exactly what it is you want. Don't expect us to fill in the blanks. Once he gets the ball rolling with these 5 or 6 things, he'll start thinking up his own ways to be supportive.
  • NicolCook
    NicolCook Posts: 489 Member
    Options
    Mine started out the same way. I had to ask him if he even noticed. It is harder for the people close to you to notice changes cause they are happening with them there. I run into people I haven't seen for a while and they really notice! Make a person feel good, and maybe he doesn't realize that is what you really need......him to help you feel encouraged. Men don't think like women do, just tell him you need him to help you stay motivated and his words is all it would take to help you out.
    Just focus on yourself, you are doing a great job, and don't let his reaction discourage you. Hope your journey gets easier!! Best wishes :)
  • jptmemphis
    jptmemphis Posts: 53 Member
    Options
    There is a possibility that he is not supportive because that this is just a short run thing for you and that you will fall off the wagon soon.

    The first thing is that you are responsible for your own happiness. Do not let him (or anyone else) be the excuse for you not to succeed. The truth is that you alone will either succeed or fail -- Although his support would be nice. Make some weight loss tickers and put them on the wall in various rooms of the house. Put one in the kitchen, den, bedroom, bathroom etc. Keep them up to date.

    As far as hubby not eating right, that is on you too. While you can't control what he eats away from home, you can control what food is in your house.

    Stop buying bad food.
    Clear bad food out of your houses. Don't wait for it to be eaten -- Just get rid of it.
    Make a meal calendar and post it in the kitchen. Weight loss does not have to be tasteless or painful if you plan properly.

    I've been buying the Lean Cuisine Dinners in the bag. It is well portioned for a couple and it is cheap and easy. Prepare these with his favorite vegetable (adding some bulk to the meal) and you have a good meal.
  • NicolCook
    NicolCook Posts: 489 Member
    Options
    Well said :)
  • wenders123
    wenders123 Posts: 338 Member
    Options
    Thanks for your replies... i think hes just wrapped up in his own lil world that nothing else really matters (or gets noticed!)

    Just a normal bloke then ! :wink:
  • dwarfer22
    dwarfer22 Posts: 358 Member
    Options
    Well at least you are in the right place for support! Take pics of yourself maybe once a week. Then YOU can know that you are making progress even if hubby is being less than forthcoming. If he wants to eat crap, let him eat crap. Just keep doing what you're doing. Some guys get jealous and insecure when their partner starts a weight loss program. The sucess you have on the scale translate to subtle personality changes and more confidence that he may be unwilling or unable to deal with at this time. Perhaps down the road if he sees your continued commitment to a lifestyle change he may be more willing to slowly start sampling the healthier dishes that you are making. Keep up the good work and soon he should start warming up to the new you.

    P.S.- If he doesn't....F$%* him! :laugh:
  • Mirabilis
    Mirabilis Posts: 312 Member
    Options
    There will come a point when your navel-gazer looks at you in absolute wonder and won't have a clue how you did what you did.

    What we're doing (the weight loss thing) is beyond most people's ability to even imagine. Just wait when 13 pounds turns into 30 and you start getting compliments everywhere you go.

    Last night I came home with my first pair of size 12 jeans and they were totally baggy in the hips of all places (I was born for skinny jeans). He told me they looked great and that I didn't need to wear them so tight. It's funny because they look like Canadian Mountie pants!
  • rhonda1960
    rhonda1960 Posts: 58 Member
    Options
    Keep up the good work! I do feel your disappointment from your partner. You will get encouragement here. Don't get discouraged.
  • weeble2008
    weeble2008 Posts: 147 Member
    Options
    First I want to tell you you're doing great! 13 lbs in 2 weeks is AWESOME!! Second, have you tried talking to your hubby and letting him know that his jokes bother you and that a little support would be great? Worst case is you've got all of us here 24/7 for support and kind words! :) My hubby isn't into exercising or working out much with me, but he does throw in the compliments every once in awhile. Look at it as making you stronger and that you can and are doing this for yourself, no matter how difficult it may be.

    Keep up the good work!!!

Categories