From Housekeeping Monthly, 13 May, 1955

The Good Wife's Guide

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Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed. (In my household if you want a hot meal you better be here at dinner time (5pm not 8pm) or else it becomes a fend for yourself deal)

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. (LMFAO!! A ribbon in my hair, make-up?!!)

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. (One of my girlfriends made the comment, "I would be a lot Gay if I had to do all this stuff for my husband)

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables. (Clear away the clutter?! Buy me a bigger house so there isnt any clutter!)

During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. (Shopping provides me with immense personal satisfaction!)

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet. (In my house we can't use the words children and quiet in the same sentence, unless of course I are yelling at them to be quiet!!)

Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. (WTF? His topics are more important than mine?! )

Don't greet him with complaints and problems. (Is there ever a day without complaints or problems?)

Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work. (speechless)

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. (These are hilarious!)

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. (another one of my girlfriends said if she was around during this time she would've arranged the pillow over his face!)

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. (WHAT!?!?)

A good wife always knows her place. (Yes and it is at the head of the table!!)