Something I do not like about MFP

Until I became pregnant I weighed 118-120 lbs. I'm 5' 8". That was my natural weight ..and I have never counted a calorie or dieted in any sense of the word until I started at MFP.
Some of us actually have thinner builds?
For those of that are naturally slender I see no problem with this. I had a perfectly normal menstruation (see above, and I've had three children) and my skin and teeth and perfectly healthy and normal.
*Everyone* is different.

But naturally slender folks aren't the ones on here trying to get to 100 lbs with extreme diet and exercise. :frown: I have no problems with naturally slender. I used to be one in my early to mid 20s... then I got married and discovered Ranch Dressing. Yum.

I completely agree!

I think this post is excellent and I completely agree. I think it's more realistic to set a goal within healthy bmi range. It just makes the most sense. I know everyone is different and peoples bodies react differently to different things, but maybe seeing as this site is in fact a site for healthier living, people shouldn't be able to set goals under their lowest healthy bmi. At some point it will be considered unhealthy...

But hey, that's just my opinion...

Also, this seems to be a problem more with girls than guys, from what I've seen, and I still don't know how girls haven't understood that being just skin and bones is not only unhealthy, but unattractive.

Good point!

AMEN to all MFP sisters!

I know I can stand to lose a few pounds. However, I am 5'4'' and with the hips God gave me, I think I would look anorexic at 110 pounds. Now I don't want to be the Pillsbury dough-girl but I don't want to be a skeleton either. ( I LOVE my hips btw)

I know many people who have lost significant amounts of weight 50-100 pounds were in the 200-300 range to begin with. Good for them! They're inspiring

But I have also seen many people with unrealistic goals. I saw a girl who was in the 200 range, but she was hoping to lose 60 pounds by the end of May. Sorry its just not going to work. The people who have lost 100 pounds have done it over 1-2 years... she might be able to lose 20-25 pounds by then, and that would be great.

But I know my former (fat) self would get to May, see that I hadn't lost 60 pounds then eat a pint of moose tracks and maybe give up.


Keep up the good work ladies!

But naturally slender folks aren't the ones on here trying to get to 100 lbs with extreme diet and exercise. :frown: I have no problems with naturally slender. I used to be one in my early to mid 20s... then I got married and discovered Ranch Dressing. Yum.

LOL--this is how it happened for me, too! I graduated from HS at my full adult height (5'7") and 94 lbs. I ate all day long and looked like I had been assembled with tinker toys. Then I started aging and kept eating (god, Ranch dressing IS good, isn't it?) and packed on about 65 lbs. I recognize that 94 lbs was for an 18-year-old girl with no hips, and am now working toward a reasonable and healthy goal. This original post is so true--it makes me so sad when I see people with 20 lb/month goals or tall gals trying to get to really low weights or men trying to get to single digit body fat. I wish everyone only wanted to be healthy and hot in the body they have. BTW, I learned in nutrition class this week that 22-23 is the BMI associated with the lowest mortality. It (mortality) climbs pretty steeply as you get under 17 or so. It's not the skinnier, the better--body fat has a purpose.

Of course...I definitely gained unprecedented weight with my pregnancies. Since I never ever had been overweight or even considered it a possibility it was not only a slap in the face but I simply didn't really understand how to lose weight!

I am probably not going to get myself down to 118 specifically. I CAN do that. I am the kind of person that does not lack in willpower or determination once I have my mind made up, it WILL happen. I won't do that because my husband will think I'm too too skinny. (Which is weird because he met me at that weight? I so want to climb in his head and figure out wth that is about..dear husband...I was fine then..apparently hot enough at that weight..so why all the disclaimers about not losing lovely things like my rear end etc? Hmm?)

I will look 'skinny' at 130 just because of the way I'm built anyway.

That is funny. When I met my husband I was 5'8", 140 pounds. Now I am about 154 and he and his entire family is saying if I get any smaller it will be to skinny and I am thinking hello, I was 140 when we met and that's what attracted me to you.

I agree with a lot of what your saying but I think your problem is more with humanity and human choices rather than anything that MFP has done or encouraged. I don't think anyone should dislike a website due to the choices people on it make.

I totally agree. I love this site, it is so helpful, but there are people on here who are using it to serious hurt themselves. Whether it is an unhealthy and unrealistic goal weight, or an unhealthy and unrealistic time frame to lose it in, they are setting themselves up for pain and failure, and won't listen to anybody who tries to help them, and that really bothers me too. I see a lot of people say things on the forum that are scary, because they are so obsessive, they are turning it into an eating disorder instead of just trying to lose weight and be healthy. And other people ARE encouraging this type of behavior- whether it is telling them they've done a good job when they eat too little or work out too much or whatever it is. I especially worry at the type of posts where somebody complains because people around them are saying they are too skinny and not to lose any more weight- and the responses are all "they are just jealous, you go girl, keep at it!" Sometimes, these people really ARE too skinny and are underweight and unhealthy- not all other human beings say things purely out of jealousy. It never occurred to them that they actually CARE and are trying to help someone with a problem, and then they come here and get all the opposite from strangers on a forum! Not ok.

I saw an upsetting thing at the gym last week- a young girl, as skinny as internment camp victim, using a side stepping machine designed to trim the inner thighs down- but she really had no thighs at all.
I was waiting to use the machine myself and realized that she was on that one machine for over an hour and a half.
She was stick thin and you could tell that she hardly ate, and was working to get her legs as stick thin as possible, rather than to gain shape.
You would think the gym would have some kind of policy of excluding people like that , but what would it achieve?
They'd just go somewhere else.
It was quite sad to see, but as a stranger you hardly feel comfortable about walking up to her and mentioning anything.
I haven't come across anorexia problems in MFP yet- haven't been around long enough, but what would you say is the best thing to say to someone who is obviously damaging themselves?
It's a difficult situation, and often, by trying to help, you can make it worse.
So what do you do?
Try and build their confidence?
It seems as if they have a concrete view if their own body image which you cannot change no matter what.

I just tested the goals. I put in 45kg as my goal as that was my weight at 21, I then said I wanted to lose 2lb per week. The recommended calorie intake was 1200 calories and it suggested I would lose 0.5lbs per week.

So there is some protection built in to the system, it will not recommend a calorie intake below 1200 calories. It won't warn you however if your goal is below the normal range for BMI. 45kg gives me a BMI of 17.8.

I saw an upsetting thing at the gym last week- a young girl, as skinny as internment camp victim, using a side stepping machine designed to trim the inner thighs down- but she really had no thighs at all.
I was waiting to use the machine myself and realized that she was on that one machine for over an hour and a half.
She was stick thin and you could tell that she hardly ate, and was working to get her legs as stick thin as possible, rather than to gain shape.
You would think the gym would have some kind of policy of excluding people like that , but what would it achieve?
They'd just go somewhere else.

Years ago, I was at weight watchers and there was an anorexic woman present at our meetings. She was TINY, stick thin (not naturally slender, but STARVATION type thin). I couldn't believe that WW would allow her to participate, and I was (still am!) disappointed!

I agree with you 100%: It is none of your business and you should not be judging other peoples' goals.

Seriously, Azdak? If people opt to use this healthy-living website to condone (and encourage!) eating disorders and obsessive, dangerous behaviour - damn right I'm going to not only judge them, but also speak up. That's not right. If it was "none of my business", these people should keep such "private information" to themselves and not post it all over the forums/profile/signature! :huh:

Right, this sight is not only to help people in their aim to get healthy but to have the support of others that are in that position. When someone says their goal is to basically be anorexic then we should be able to voice our opinion on the subject.

There is nothing healthy about anorexia. Celebrities make people believe it's alright, but it does not make a person look good or healthy. I understand that there are different bone structures, but when you're in your twenties or there about and you are skinner than a fourteen year old that's not healthy. That is not judgment of anybody or their goals but a concern from someone who cares.

Agree here too,the Olsen twins look is not attractive in the least.
I personally know ladies that range in height from low to high 5s (some of them are here at MFP) and they weigh from the 130s and on up.
They are all beautiful and sexy in their own ways with their own bodies,but better yet they are nice people and great friends.
It is always great to see them striving to better themselves and be healthier and maybe look even better but bugs me when they don`t like themselves along the way.
I know it will sound like a BS line from a guy but folks that know me can attest that it isn`t.

agreed! i am 5'3 and i think my lowest weight is 115. i don't i will ever get there but i cannot imagine being 5'6 and weighing 100lbs. my 11 yr old sister is nearly 100, how can an adult that tall weigh the same? now if you are 5' and under that is ok but i don't understand either. to each his own i guess!