Advice on a Selfish Question

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Peyton115
Peyton115 Posts: 75
in Motivation and Support
Hi all,

So I need some advice on a pretty selfish question thats been in my head for a little while. In your responses, if you could please be honest but try not to judge too harshly I would really appreciate it. Like I said, I know this is a selfish question... I just am in need of some advice and I know we all are in similar situations here.


So here's my situation:
I am a female college student, just turned 21, and everything and everyone around me is telling me that these are suppose to be the best years of my life. The times when I make lifelong friends and have some of life's most important experiences. But I can't help but feel these are anything BUT the most wonderful years of my life. I see everyone around me going out, experiencing new things, and just having fun! But not me. I have always been very insecure about the way I look and have let that factor keep me from living my life for far too long now. Self-confidence is very important to a girl... and honestly, I don't have any. I am trying to change myself. In a big way. Eating right and exercising has become a very big part of my life (with a big thanks to MFP). I am still NO WHERE close to where I want to be weight wise, but I'm trying, and right now that's all I can do. But I can't help but want to make more changes to improve my self-confidence. Unfortunately however, these changes come at a price.

For SOO long now I have wanted to get a "mini makeover". All my life I have been the dorky girl with thin, mouse-brown hair and no makeup. What I really, really, wish I could do is go to the hair salon and get highlights and hair extensions and invest in some nice makeup. My problem isn't that I can't afford to do these things (I NEVER spend my savings, so I have a little bit of disposable income), but that I feel so guilty paying quite a bit of money for something so, well... selfish. Hair extensions and highlights AREN'T cheap, but they are something I have always dreamed of having. And makeup is pretty pricey too. My question is: Do you think it is worth it to go ahead and treat myself to my mini-makeover, even though it will be expensive, just because I know it will help my self-confidence level and make me feel better about myself? I want to live my life! So, is it selfish to get these things done knowing how much they cost? A lot of people get makeovers after losing weight.... but I'm still in the process of losing weight and haven't reached my final goal yet. I guess the final question is...

Mini-makeovers: selfish? Or self-confidence boosting worth it?
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Replies

  • fitnesspirateninja
    fitnesspirateninja Posts: 667 Member
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    You could go to a beauty school to get a makeover for a much cheaper price. If you live in or near a big city you can probably find several great schools.

    If it won't break the bank, then go ahead and spend the money. Figure out what you'll have to cut back on in order to make it happen.

    It's not selfish to want to take care of yourself.
  • therobinator
    therobinator Posts: 832 Member
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    This is super simple:

    Mini-makeovers: selfish? No.

    Or self-confidence boosting worth it? Yes.
  • HOPEful27
    HOPEful27 Posts: 56
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    Very worth it, please go do it & rock that mini makeover! Loving and taking care of yourself needs to be one of the priorities in your life.
  • Ashley_Panda
    Ashley_Panda Posts: 1,404 Member
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    Yeah, go do it at a cosmetology school. If you're nervous about it, let the instructor use you as an example on how to do it. I went to cosmetology school and we did this all the time. Make up is a good investment. Don't think of it as spending your savings on something selfish. Thinks of it as something to help you better yourself.
  • QueenofCups
    QueenofCups Posts: 365 Member
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    I think if it will help you feel a little better about yourself and you can afford it, then go for it!
    Every little bit helps. Spoken from a place where even if I had more money to do something I want to do I couldn't if my husband doesn't want me to - do these things for yourself while you still can!
    I agree, self confidence is so important and I also am severely lacking, so I hope doll-ing yourself up some will help. :)
  • bahrainbel
    bahrainbel Posts: 194
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    this isn't even up for discussion, wanting to have your hair done and feel good, is not selfish. if you can't have some pleasures, in life, really, what's the point?
  • MMarcordes
    MMarcordes Posts: 58 Member
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    ABSOLUTELY!! It is totally worth it! Part of taking care of you, is making yourself feel good. It's not just exercise and nutrition. It's taking care of your skin, and feeling like you look good. It's the whole package - so, I say, do whatever it takes to make yourself feel good and keep yourself motivated. Good luck - and ENJOY!
  • mlb929
    mlb929 Posts: 1,974 Member
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    I'll probably be in the minority with my opinion - but here it goes. Any reward to yourself like that should be just that - a reward. Not something you want to do just because. You didn't say how much weight you want to lose, and have you only been a MFP member for a short time, so I'm assuming you are just starting on your journey. That said - make it a reward for a big milestone.

    Changing your appearance, it costly, then you will have to maintain as well. If you think your confidence is going to come from external factors, you need to reset your thinking. You need to focus on health and fitness, diet and attitude before you make a physical change. Besides it will feel so much better if you do it as a 30lb weight loss or 1/2 your goal, or whatever that may be, but make is a big reward for a big milestone.

    That said, self confidence comes from inside. You need to find it. Write yourself a list of the really great things about you, don't put anything negative on it and read it every day. You can go for free and get a makeup make over at the mall where someone will teach you. Have them write it down and then ask for that at your next birthday as a gift or a gift certificate to get it for yourself then.

    I'm all about not spending any money on things that aren't worth it - you may think it's worth it to you now but if you aren't going to put the effort into yourself first, it's not worth it in the long run.
  • yellowfairy
    yellowfairy Posts: 207 Member
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    I say go for it. Just remember the highlights you have to keep up with-but honestly-it will be worth it for you to feel better. I know when i went to a salon counter and had them teach me how to put makeup on and bought good makeup-it totally helped me.
  • NicolCook
    NicolCook Posts: 489 Member
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    I don't think it is selfish at all! You have to take care of yourself and if this is a step in the right direction to help motivate you to continue strong, go for it!! You have to invest in yourself.......you are #1.
  • jwd28
    jwd28 Posts: 765
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    This is NOT AT ALL selfish. It is important to feel good about the way you look. It sounds like you work hard and you deserve a special treat.

    If it were me I would ABSOLUTELY go out and buy some nice makeup.

    For your hair, I thnk I'd consult with a stylist before doing anything. Highlights would be great and if you're going to spend your hard earned money on them, it would be nice to talk to a professional about what would look best on you. Also, they might be able to recommend a good hair cut/style that would suit you. OR, if your heart is set on hair extensions, they could give you advice on that too.

    Best of luck to you! You deserve some pampering. Don't feel bad treating yourself!
  • twooliver
    twooliver Posts: 450 Member
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    If it's permission you want....you got it....
  • bbear
    bbear Posts: 96 Member
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    You could try going to a place like sephora (the makeup store) if you have one nearby. The ladies there are great at helping you pick out a few key pieces of make up and then teaching you how to use them. Often times they can give you samples of products and the make up lesson is always free. Just tell them when you go in that you are new to wearing makeup and are on a budget. This way you can spend more at the salon and get the whole make-over feel.

    Keep your head up, good luck!
  • cmel6334
    cmel6334 Posts: 41 Member
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    Go do it, you'll thank yourself later. Nothing selfish about wanting to feel better about you!!!
  • justsummie
    justsummie Posts: 320 Member
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    No it's not selfish, and for the record if there ever was a time in your life too be a little selfish and treat yourself to something nice it's now before you have kids and a family to worry about.

    You could always make a mini-goal (say 10 lbs) and allow the makeover to a "treat' for getting there.
  • gangstagirl625
    gangstagirl625 Posts: 187 Member
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    I say go for it if u have to dip into you savings u could always pay yourself back keep track of what u spend and then for example if you normally put say 20 a week away put 30 until u pay urself back hope this helps
  • jennygurumi
    jennygurumi Posts: 28
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    I would go for the makeover. It looks like you have thought it through so it could be very satisfying. I really value these things that you want so that influences my opinion. When I feel great, I am more inspired overall.
  • lgav23
    lgav23 Posts: 33 Member
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    Go for it!! it is definately NOT selfish... ( and enjoy it) :wink: "You deserve this." ~ Jillian Michaels
  • jjclem07
    jjclem07 Posts: 127 Member
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    Mini makeovers are not selfish...even when I am dog sick I still do my hair and make up, why because on the outside it makes you feel and look better. How you feel inside is completely different.....The mini make-over and loss of weight is a wonderful first step in the new you.
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,954 Member
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    As the mom of four kids living on one income can I just tell you to learn to spoil yourself a little now? I have spent many years feeling guilty whenever I spent money on myself. When I finally got mad and realized that I am worth it just as the rest of my family is not only did I end up with some nicer things, but I feel better! I am much more outgoing now, not just because of how I look but how I feel about myself.

    Learn to let go of feeling like you're not worth spending the money on. Be wise of course, but you are right that your confidence level will rise. Not because you have better "things" but because you will finally realize that you are not the stringy haired mouse you've convinced yourself you are. You are beautiful and unique and there are people in this world who will be dazzled when you finally allow yourself to reveal the real you. Once you've learned to be happy and content within your own skin you will be amazed at how much you enjoy your life.

    If you're looking for permission to spend on yourself, I give it to you! There, now go shopping! :flowerforyou:

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