NEED SOME ADVICE ON MY FITNESS BUDDY

JessDanielle
JessDanielle Posts: 18
edited September 24 in Motivation and Support
ok, so here is the situation. Me and a friend decided to join a 24 hour gym together. We agreed to rotate on driving every other day, so it would be more affordable for both of us, we work at the same low paying job. Well, we did great for the first moth even recruited another friend! but now all of a sudden she has a new boyfriend, they started dating a week ago, since then she has stood us up 3 of the 5 nights we go and needed to change the time on a different night. I didn't make a big deal out of it. But now again, she is not coming tonight forcing me to drive again! Luckily the other friend still wants to go with me so i wont go alone, but she already drives from a different town about 20 mins away just to come, so i don't feel comfortable asking her to help on gas, wouldn't be fair anyway since it was never out agreement. On another note my friend that isn't coming said she probably wont sign up for another month, that she doesn't have enough time to continue. I am really upset, I don't know what to say to her, I cant control her and make her go to the gym and i'm afraid if i tell her i'm upset she will get mad and argue and thats not good esp. cos we work together. And i just don't want to fight with her. She never seemed that into it anyways saying she wasn't losing weight when we had only been going a few weeks. She refused to drink any water and we already got into a disagreement about that. what should i do?? anything?? should i just let it go??

Replies

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,392 Member
    Yes, you should just let it go. Friendship often flies out the window when love flies in.
  • ajbeans
    ajbeans Posts: 2,857 Member
    I'm non-confrontational, so I probably wouldn't say anything. I would just stop inviting her to the gym and just go with the other friend. If she brings it up, how you never invite her anymore, just tell her that she didn't seem that interested and you need positive, motivated people around you on this journey. But if she doesn't bring it up, I'd let it go. You're not doing this for her. You're doing it for YOU. You don't need a workout buddy. You are doing great! If she doesn't want to get healthy, that's her loss. You just do what you need to do.
  • Celo24
    Celo24 Posts: 566 Member
    Let it go. She's oviously not committed to being healthy and getting in shape. Don't waste your time trying to make her be. That's a losing battle.
  • im2spooky4u
    im2spooky4u Posts: 71 Member
    I suggest to just let it go and focus on yourself. When your friend sees the new you, then she'll know she made a mistake. Maybe then she will be ready to take care of herself.

    Good luck!
  • Lauriee2014
    Lauriee2014 Posts: 183 Member
    I agree with the othe posts so far, you probably just need to let it go. Like you pointed out, you can't control her actions and you don't want to argue. Maybe when she sees your success, she will be motivated to go again. Maybe she's just not that committed to it and the new bf is a good excuse not to go.

    On the positive side: [1] You had someone to initially go with and now you've established a routine. [getting started is usually the hardest part.. especially alone!] and [2] You have another friend to go with and be accountable to. All in all, you seem to be in good shape in this situation [no pun intended] .. with everything to gain.

    Good luck!
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    Let it go. You need to focus on you, just like she feels she needs to focus on her and her new relationship. Yes, it sucks that she's flaking on you, but everyone has different priorities in life. Relationships change the dynamics of friendships. Once her relationship isn't so new she'll probably come back around and want to work out again. But until then, there's nothing you can do but continue with your exercising and healthy eating.
  • JessDanielle
    JessDanielle Posts: 18
    I kind of knew that is what i had to do, let it go, but its hard when i'm so upset about it. Ill just take all my frustration out at the gym!! And thanks for all the advice, i think i will have more motivation to prove her wrong now as well :)
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