fat and alone...

Zanpakuto
Zanpakuto Posts: 1
edited September 24 in Health and Weight Loss
Hi,
I feel a bit pathetic but I could do with some support. I've finally woken up to the fact that I am medically obese and that I desperately need to lose weight. I need to lose 50lbs to be even close to a healthy weight and I don't know if I can do it alone. I've just started a new job in a new city, I'm experiencing a breakup after 8 years together and my best friends are scattered throughout the world. I have a lot to be happy and grateful for but I've been in denial about my size for about ten years. This breakup has made me look in the mirror and see photos of myself and force me to not make excuses for myself. It's just shaken me out of my denial.I want to be quite a healthy and active person, enjoy my life and make the most of it, so I would really really love the support. I hope I don't sound too whingy, I am just a little low at the moment but there are times when I do cheer up!
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Replies

  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
    I went through the same thing in 9/2009. Hang in there, it gets easier.
  • sbwood888
    sbwood888 Posts: 953 Member
    You're not alone. You just joined MFP. There are lots of us here who understand. Just start putting one foot in front of the other and soon you will be walking toward a new you. Friend me if you like! :flowerforyou:
  • K3LLYSU3
    K3LLYSU3 Posts: 56 Member
    Keep your chin up. You have came to the right place for support, there are sooo many great people here for each other. Good luck with every thing & feel free to add me if you would like. Kelly
  • SeattleLady
    SeattleLady Posts: 70
    We are here, You are not alone. I felt the same way. You are welcome to be my friend and let's start getting healthy.
  • freerange
    freerange Posts: 1,722 Member
    Sorry to hear about your troubles, but hey today is a new day, right? And you have come to the right place. 50lbs, is nothing, it will be gone in no time, feel free to ask all the questions you want, I will send you a friend request, this lets you see everything a person post, and we can see your progress too, makes it easier to give support.

    Welcome, and good luck.
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,953 Member
    Welcome to MFP! I know it's hard right now but you have a fresh start on so many fronts. Take the opportunity to reinvent yourself. Who do you want to be? The choices you make today will determine who you are tomorrow. Whenever you need support sign on here. This site is great for that! Friend me if you want to and good luck! You can do it.
  • krr246
    krr246 Posts: 7 Member
    you can do this.. i once lost sixty pounds..it took 9 months but it happened and u can do it to and you will feel so good about yourself..i have since re-married and now have another child..so i am on a journey to lose 20 pounds of baby fat.. it is never easy.. that baby is 4..but never give up..:) if you want to be friends send me a friends request. and GOODLUCK..
  • Charli666
    Charli666 Posts: 407
    Your not alone, you have all of us!!

    I have an awful lot of weight to lose, and have been in my 'new city' a year now, and other than my hubby, and one or two 'friends' i don't really have anyone local, but we are all in this together, and we can do it!!

    You've made the biggest leap by admitting to yourself that you need to make changes, and you've joined which shows your determined to do it!

    I've sent you a friend request, add as many people as you can, and with people all throughout the world on your side, you'll never need feel alone again!!!

    x
  • Denise6914
    Denise6914 Posts: 176
    Welcome to MFP. You can't be alone with all of us here:) Feel free to send me a friend request.
  • miznel80
    miznel80 Posts: 46 Member
    Welcome! :) I'm sorry to hear that you are sad. People here are very supportive in everything! 50lbs is what I need to lose to get back to a healthy weight. Friend me, if you'd like :) We'll do it together :)
  • kdao
    kdao Posts: 265
    Welcome aboard, you found the right place and now you don't have to do this alone! =)
  • bzr21
    bzr21 Posts: 13
    I feel that working out is like therapy. I sometimes hate it, I curse while I do it, negative thoughts run through my head about whatever it is that I am upset about, and to be honest, I have even cried after a few of them. But I feel like it helps me work out my issues and makes me feel a little more confident.
    It is okay to get down and out so long as you pull yourself out of it. I like hearing that you know you are blessed, but just going through a tough spot. It shows that you have your head on straight.
    I guess my point is, get upset, get angry, and allow yourself the time to digest your situation. Then when it is all out, focus on you and what you need.
  • vkramarenko
    vkramarenko Posts: 8
    Welcome!! You here and that's a start. Just live a day at the time and dont let little things discourage you in your journey to new you.
  • steph1803
    steph1803 Posts: 1
    THis is the best time to start new habbits and the best thing is that there is no one telling you what you should eat or questioning why you aren't eatting (especially when "I'm not hungry" doesn't stop the questions)... Think of it as a way to start doing things for yourself, and doing things for the person you have put aside all this time. IT IS ALL ABOUT YOU! Time to get to work and find things that work for you- not on anyone else's schedual. There are so many ways to exercise out there, now is the time to find the ones that you enjoy... It sounds funny, but I never thought that I would enjoy working out but now I do Zumba and Hot Yoga- I love it. Find what is available in your area and try it! Also.... its not all about the pounds but measure yourself for if you are exercising you will loose inches and that is very encouraging! Be positive, this is a door that has opened.:smile:
  • Limeinthecoconut
    Limeinthecoconut Posts: 234 Member
    My boyfriend of 2.5 years broke up with me basically on New Years Day. I've used the disappointment and anger and channeled it into making better choices for myself, including diet and exercise, and it really has helped! It's so hard not having that person there when you've become so used to being *with* someone.

    Just give it time, because that's the biggest factor in getting over something like that. Friends are a wonderful distraction also. Hang in there.
  • Little_Lisa_Ann
    Little_Lisa_Ann Posts: 59
    You're definitely not alone! This is a great place to find support, and you'll always have friends here! Welcome :)
  • nichola_watters
    nichola_watters Posts: 22
    Hi, I have about 50-60 lbs to lose to to get me down to a healthy BMI. I was 226lbs at my heaviest, I dieted, I wobbled I got back on it and now I have lost 26lb in total. You sound like there are more problems than just your weight, try to get upbeat - dont be depressed about what you are, be excited at what you WILL be soon!
  • PrairieRoseNE
    PrairieRoseNE Posts: 265 Member
    The fact that you're here and asking for help is the biggest step - and you've DONE it!!

    Now, just find a calorie burning activity you like and will commit to. For me, it's walking. I started out with short distances and now I'm up to just under 2 miles a day (most days of the week!) But pick something YOU like - maybe it's simple exercises you can do at home. Or take the stairs instead of the elevator. Every little change you make will help!!

    Start tracking what you eat - be honest too! It won't help you to track it otherwise. After a few days you can see where your calories are coming from, and then MAKE CHANGES - switch from whole milk to 2% or from regular versions of foods, to light versions. Maybe start eating more veggies in place of those hi-carb foods. Start reading labels and measuring your portions - YES it's work and takes time, but YOU are worth it - God don't make junk, so start thinking "I CAN" instead of "I CAN'T"

    We're all here in the same "boat" so don't feel alone - just holler for help if you need it. Don't worry if it seems a dumb question - the only thing worse than a dumb question, is the one you don't ask!!

    I'll keep you in my prayers!!
    ((HUGS))
    Prairie Rose
  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
    Aww, sugar. Live for yourself. Make positive changes for yourself. I know it's hard right now, but you have the power to change anything you want. Take this time to focus on you and I think you'll be surprised at how quickly you start to feel good about yourself again.
  • jellyfishjen
    jellyfishjen Posts: 1,787 Member
    Wow, look at all the friends you have already. I'm here for you as well. Consider this, one of the best journeys you will ever take and its not just a quick weekend trip, with a quick fix, but a trip around the world, where you will find out interesting things about yourself, you will learn heaps, and you may think you want to reach your goal quickly, but however long it takes it will be worth it. There will be detours, all positive learning ones. This is the trip of a life time, with wonderful friends and support. Have sent you a friend request. :flowerforyou:
  • AngelUK1985
    AngelUK1985 Posts: 84 Member
    You'll get plenty of support here:) and dont beat yourself up
  • caitycaits
    caitycaits Posts: 4
    As I think someone's already mentioned, you've done the hardest part -- accepting something needs to happen. The rest of it will follow. You're far from alone here, you've got plenty of support from people here who are all on the same road -- to lead a healthier life. The next step is getting down a plan and sticking to it, we're all here to help you for that (: And be happy in yourself, the happier you are, the more likely you are to lose more weight. Good luck, I'm positive you'll be able to do it! (:
  • MontanaB
    MontanaB Posts: 439 Member
    you are definitely not alone!
    well done for joining here and posting - that in itself takes courage and bravery,
    take it a day at a time and we are all here for you :)
  • annalobdell
    annalobdell Posts: 201 Member
    Please don't be so hard on yourself. Life sucks sometimes. I really believe that when you decide to make big changes is when life starts sending you curveballs. I like to see these curveballs as tests. I am 324 pounds. I have lost 19 pounds since January. My husband is a truck driver who likes me fat. He does everything in his power to sabotage me. At first I used to let this sidetrack me, But now, I try to find fun things to distract him from his sabotage. I know that life looks bleak right now, but think how awesome you will feel when you have gotten to a healthy weight. You can do this.
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,809 Member
    You are not alone. The people here on MFP are some of the most supportive indiviuals I have encountered in my 39 years. It sounds like you have had a rough time of it but you are in a position to take control of your life and make some positive changes. It sounds like you are well on your way.
  • coniconstance
    coniconstance Posts: 321 Member
    If this break-up has made you look at your health, and the outcome will be a healthier you? Then I say WOOOOHOOOOO. Se la vi. Your beautiful and once you get to being healthy and feeling healthy, you'll soon see this is the greatest thing to happen to you. One door must close for another to open. All that being say, I'm sure the pain is a lot to take right now. Your in the right spot though... lots of good people here and before you know it you'll be seeing what everyone here already does.
  • Kristie18
    Kristie18 Posts: 332 Member
    You don't have to be alone! We are all here for each other. Feel free to add me as a friend. We can support each other
  • yelms
    yelms Posts: 3
    Hang in there. On the plus side, you are off on a new adventure and have the ability to reinvent yourself!
  • sunshine4me
    sunshine4me Posts: 69 Member
    Seems to me you have a lot going for you! You have managed to get a fresh start, in a city where no one knows your past and a new job that will allow you to recreate your whole life. All you need to do is start looking at the glass as half full not half empty! You are a lovely young woman who can now recreate herself into anything she wants to be and you have a network of folks, right here with you to help you through any tough times!! Now... go dance around the house to your favorite music!! You will feel better about yourself and have burned some calories to boot!!
    Here if you need me! send a friend request if you want!!!
    Marylee
  • JudoJones
    JudoJones Posts: 54
    Changing negative attitudes through positive actions. Set goals, lots of goals, little ones, big ones, and write them down. Don't worry about having all the answers now, just get started.

    simple goals creates a pattern for bigger ones.
    - goal idea - drink 'x' number of glasses of water a day.
    - use the stairs at work
    - stretch during tv commercials.
    etc...

    Good luck, we're all working through something.

    scott
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