do u cook different for the whole family
ChefJenn
Posts: 350 Member
So, I know this might dip into my personal life but need some advice
I myself have to cook 3 different meals most nights. One for me, one for my husband and one for my son.
we dont eat as a family either. I try to eat before 8pm , my hubby & son eat around 8.
I having gastric bypass cant eat most things in my house, so on a really tight budget I can only buy a few things for myself to have to eat as meals , then my husband who makes sure I understand he is NOT dieting nor does he want to needs to eat close to 4000 calories a day b/c he is a major tennis player and due to being unemployed right now he plays tues-sun for 5-7 hrs a day, he wants carb loaded meals.
then my son who is 10 yrs old and is autistic. He is a bean pole. He only eats certain foods that 1 his tummy can handle, 2 that he can eat the texture of it and it has to smell a certain way to him. If he could just eat pretzels for 3 meals he would. So, he doesnt really eat meats much, the occasional chicken nugget or sloppy joe. He dont eat any veggies and only apples. He wont even try things and his doctors say for me not to push it because most autistic children will always have a diet issue.
So, Im finding it really hard to budget trying to buy myself 100 calorie foods b/c I only eat about 4oz as a time, my hubby wants 3x's that amount for dinner and then my lil one well i fix him what ever i can get him to eat.
I started cutting coupons and using the kroger ad to try and do this pre planned meals for the week.
How do I manage to cook healthier things for myself to eat and it fit my portion size, then have the demands of my husband high calorie/carb needs and well Im guessing cooking different for my son is always going to be there.
I use to cook just large meals and then there would be left overs for the next day. But I dont know how to track all those calories.
Im a personal chef but have never needed to weight out the calories & fat. I just know flavors and design of foods.
I myself have to cook 3 different meals most nights. One for me, one for my husband and one for my son.
we dont eat as a family either. I try to eat before 8pm , my hubby & son eat around 8.
I having gastric bypass cant eat most things in my house, so on a really tight budget I can only buy a few things for myself to have to eat as meals , then my husband who makes sure I understand he is NOT dieting nor does he want to needs to eat close to 4000 calories a day b/c he is a major tennis player and due to being unemployed right now he plays tues-sun for 5-7 hrs a day, he wants carb loaded meals.
then my son who is 10 yrs old and is autistic. He is a bean pole. He only eats certain foods that 1 his tummy can handle, 2 that he can eat the texture of it and it has to smell a certain way to him. If he could just eat pretzels for 3 meals he would. So, he doesnt really eat meats much, the occasional chicken nugget or sloppy joe. He dont eat any veggies and only apples. He wont even try things and his doctors say for me not to push it because most autistic children will always have a diet issue.
So, Im finding it really hard to budget trying to buy myself 100 calorie foods b/c I only eat about 4oz as a time, my hubby wants 3x's that amount for dinner and then my lil one well i fix him what ever i can get him to eat.
I started cutting coupons and using the kroger ad to try and do this pre planned meals for the week.
How do I manage to cook healthier things for myself to eat and it fit my portion size, then have the demands of my husband high calorie/carb needs and well Im guessing cooking different for my son is always going to be there.
I use to cook just large meals and then there would be left overs for the next day. But I dont know how to track all those calories.
Im a personal chef but have never needed to weight out the calories & fat. I just know flavors and design of foods.
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Replies
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Holy crap.0
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I usually cook at least 2 meals a night. Either my husband and I eat the same thing and my son different, or my son and I eat the same thing and my husband different.
I cook very simply though, just roasting and steaming most of the time, so its not a big deal to me. I can't force anyone to eat something they don't like, and my son is 2 year old, so its not even worth the argument there. lol0 -
when you cook something, enter it in to recipes and then you'll see how much each portion is.0
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If your husband is not working currently he has the time to prepare his large carb laiden meals. My family quickly learned that they could either starve, or eat what I cooked. They only went hungry once before they caught on.
You are not the paid cook, Im sure there are many nutritious things that you can share that your son could tolerate so you could share meals with him. I always think the "old school" way of sitting at the table with family for dinner is important.
MFP is a fab tool for tracking every TBSP of butter, or whatever you cook. it can be cumbersome but I also love to cook and build recipes and it can be done.
Rule #1 - do what you need to to be happy so you can be a happy mother and wife first. Then worry about everyone else's needs. I wish I would have follwed this earlier but it is hard not to slip into pleasing everyone else first as a care-giving woman.
Good luck.0 -
Wow, that's rough! One thing that can help you figure out your calories is to input your own recipes, and then weigh it, and weigh out your portion. That's a lot of work, but you'll know exactly what you're eating. Also, you could eat a small portion, and your dh could eat 3 or 4, if he needed to, or he could add more sides (bread, rice, whatever). Unfort. for your son, you will probably always have to cook specially for him.
In our house, I occassionally cook different meals (like if I want a very grown up meal, like tenderloin with wine), for the adults than for the kids, but that doesn't happen often. Usually I'll make one meal, and I just eat less, or I'll eat more veggies, and cut the carbs out. I don't want to become a short order cook where everyone is shouting out their order to me, and I make whatever they want. That's way too much work and energy. If there's a day where I'm making a "kid's meal" (like if my dh is not going to be home for dinner, and I'm not hungry), then the kids may get mac n cheese, and I'll eat a salad.0 -
Tell your husband to look after his own meals...0
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I haven't really changed the way I cook other then adding some healthy recopies to my list, I just watch my portions. The recipe calculator function here is a great way to "see" what's in each meal you cook.
One another note, I completely understand having to cook different for your son. But in my opinion, your husband needs to grow up and be supportive of the changes you are making.0 -
If you want to eat the same meals as your husband and still diet and have left overs, I think all you would need is a food scale and/or measuring cups that you use before putting the cooked food on your plate which will greatly help you figure out the nutritional info for what you eat. Plus it will probably be cost effective and less time consuming than making three separate meals each night.0
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So, I know this might dip into my personal life but need some advice
I myself have to cook 3 different meals most nights. One for me, one for my husband and one for my son.
we dont eat as a family either. I try to eat before 8pm , my hubby & son eat around 8.
I having gastric bypass cant eat most things in my house, so on a really tight budget I can only buy a few things for myself to have to eat as meals , then my husband who makes sure I understand he is NOT dieting nor does he want to needs to eat close to 4000 calories a day b/c he is a major tennis player and due to being unemployed right now he plays tues-sun for 5-7 hrs a day, he wants carb loaded meals.
then my son who is 10 yrs old and is autistic. He is a bean pole. He only eats certain foods that 1 his tummy can handle, 2 that he can eat the texture of it and it has to smell a certain way to him. If he could just eat pretzels for 3 meals he would. So, he doesnt really eat meats much, the occasional chicken nugget or sloppy joe. He dont eat any veggies and only apples. He wont even try things and his doctors say for me not to push it because most autistic children will always have a diet issue.
So, Im finding it really hard to budget trying to buy myself 100 calorie foods b/c I only eat about 4oz as a time, my hubby wants 3x's that amount for dinner and then my lil one well i fix him what ever i can get him to eat.
I started cutting coupons and using the kroger ad to try and do this pre planned meals for the week.
How do I manage to cook healthier things for myself to eat and it fit my portion size, then have the demands of my husband high calorie/carb needs and well Im guessing cooking different for my son is always going to be there.
I use to cook just large meals and then there would be left overs for the next day. But I dont know how to track all those calories.
Im a personal chef but have never needed to weight out the calories & fat. I just know flavors and design of foods.
sorry and I dont mean to sound so hard here so please forgive me, I have had a glass of wine !!
but you should only be cooking once!! not only should your family be supporting you after your op and what you are trying to do, but also the fact you are having to spend all your bloody time cooking !!!!
come on!!!
talk to them and get them to eat at the same time, !!! if nothing else its good to have a real sit down meal as a family and talk about stuff !!! let alone you are doing it for health reasons !!!
sorry to rant !0 -
No, I don't make separate meals. I am not a short order cook. My husband has to gain weight as he is under weight. He needs more carbs and fats so will just add cheeses, sour cream, butter and breads to the meals I make. Even at 3.5yrs old my son knows that he eats what is put in front of him because I am not short order cook. Sure, there may be foods he doesn't love, but he always has to try at least a couple bites because he can't know he doesn't like something until he tries it.
And I agree, if your husband wants to have a different meal than you altogether, if he has time to play tennis 5-7 hours a day (that is insane if you ask me) then he can make his own meals, and heck, even some for the whole family, at least a couple days a week.0 -
If your husband is not working currently he has the time to prepare his large carb laiden meals. My family quickly learned that they could either starve, or eat what I cooked. They only went hungry once before they caught on.
You are not the paid cook, Im sure there are many nutritious things that you can share that your son could tolerate so you could share meals with him. I always think the "old school" way of sitting at the table with family for dinner is important.
MFP is a fab tool for tracking every TBSP of butter, or whatever you cook. it can be cumbersome but I also love to cook and build recipes and it can be done.
Rule #1 - do what you need to to be happy so you can be a happy mother and wife first. Then worry about everyone else's needs. I wish I would have follwed this earlier but it is hard not to slip into pleasing everyone else first as a care-giving woman.
Good luck.
thanks but me being a CHEF I would not dare let my husband use anything in my kitchen with my precious dishes and equipment..LOL. he cant make a grill cheese w/o burning it.
I wish I could get my son to eat different things but he wont eat anything baked b/c of the texture to it. He loves pasta and so does his dad which is what I cook alot of but its not good for me, nor can I eat much of it b/c it fills my small pouch so fast and then 2 hrs later I find myself hungry again b/c I only ate 2 oz0 -
If your husband is not working currently he has the time to prepare his large carb laiden meals. My family quickly learned that they could either starve, or eat what I cooked. They only went hungry once before they caught on.
You are not the paid cook, Im sure there are many nutritious things that you can share that your son could tolerate so you could share meals with him. I always think the "old school" way of sitting at the table with family for dinner is important.
MFP is a fab tool for tracking every TBSP of butter, or whatever you cook. it can be cumbersome but I also love to cook and build recipes and it can be done.
Rule #1 - do what you need to to be happy so you can be a happy mother and wife first. Then worry about everyone else's needs. I wish I would have follwed this earlier but it is hard not to slip into pleasing everyone else first as a care-giving woman.
Good luck.
Have to agree with this. Cooking for your son will be an issue, but there are usually ways to hide good stuff in with the bad - try finding a "kids'" cookbook that helps in disguising things. Don't push it, but just experiment a lot. One thing that helped with my son was making a game out of it and involving him in cooking. May take some time, but finding the right combo of things will be important. And yes, eating at the table with family is important. I used to be really bad about this, but my son has improved a lot since I started making a concerted effort to have our meals together and make it "time together".
And as for husband - as Lutz said - he can cook at least some of his own stuff if he has special needs. He's a big boy - make him act like one.
Stay strong and keep working at it!
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thanks but me being a CHEF I would not dare let my husband use anything in my kitchen with my precious dishes and equipment..LOL. he cant make a grill cheese w/o burning it.
Teach him!
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So, I know this might dip into my personal life but need some advice
I myself have to cook 3 different meals most nights. One for me, one for my husband and one for my son.
we dont eat as a family either. I try to eat before 8pm , my hubby & son eat around 8.
I having gastric bypass cant eat most things in my house, so on a really tight budget I can only buy a few things for myself to have to eat as meals , then my husband who makes sure I understand he is NOT dieting nor does he want to needs to eat close to 4000 calories a day b/c he is a major tennis player and due to being unemployed right now he plays tues-sun for 5-7 hrs a day, he wants carb loaded meals.
then my son who is 10 yrs old and is autistic. He is a bean pole. He only eats certain foods that 1 his tummy can handle, 2 that he can eat the texture of it and it has to smell a certain way to him. If he could just eat pretzels for 3 meals he would. So, he doesnt really eat meats much, the occasional chicken nugget or sloppy joe. He dont eat any veggies and only apples. He wont even try things and his doctors say for me not to push it because most autistic children will always have a diet issue.
So, Im finding it really hard to budget trying to buy myself 100 calorie foods b/c I only eat about 4oz as a time, my hubby wants 3x's that amount for dinner and then my lil one well i fix him what ever i can get him to eat.
I started cutting coupons and using the kroger ad to try and do this pre planned meals for the week.
How do I manage to cook healthier things for myself to eat and it fit my portion size, then have the demands of my husband high calorie/carb needs and well Im guessing cooking different for my son is always going to be there.
I use to cook just large meals and then there would be left overs for the next day. But I dont know how to track all those calories.
Im a personal chef but have never needed to weight out the calories & fat. I just know flavors and design of foods.
sorry and I dont mean to sound so hard here so please forgive me, I have had a glass of wine !!
but you should only be cooking once!! not only should your family be supporting you after your op and what you are trying to do, but also the fact you are having to spend all your bloody time cooking !!!!
come on!!!
talk to them and get them to eat at the same time, !!! if nothing else its good to have a real sit down meal as a family and talk about stuff !!! let alone you are doing it for health reasons !!!
sorry to rant !
its not a rant honey.. i wish my hubby was supportive but he is not, and a son with autism doesnt even understand about food and weight issue, he just know how to tell me when he is hungry. That alone is a major stress on me.0 -
thanks but me being a CHEF I would not dare let my husband use anything in my kitchen with my precious dishes and equipment..LOL. he cant make a grill cheese w/o burning it.
Teach him!
LOL, teaching him to cook would be like him trying to teach me to play tennis.. not in a million years. But, he does help with grocery shopping and if I write it on the list he does know how to fetch it.0 -
Hi- your situation is tough.
I have a 6 yo son and I tend to do 2 meals most of the time, and we are working on getting in sync with 1 meal at least a few days a week. I do try to give portions of the same meal my husband and I have to my son but then add things he likes like applesauce, or a basic marinara sauce to his pasta (where ours might be doctored up with veggies and a protein and more spices). My son will eat a little chicken or white fish, like cod or haddock but if we have beef or lamb or shellfish I don't even try to have him eat it.
My husband had never worried about portion size and that was a pain. I bought a scale and measure everything for myself, then piled it on his plate with wild abandon
. I also tend to eat less during the day so that I have more dinner calories for our family meal because my husband really likes having a solid dinner. When your husband eats a ton of pasta because he needs more carbs, maybe you can just give yourself a small measured portion or substitute spinach or something more healthy for the pasta part? Or, maybe just give him a big potato every night for carbs and just don't have one with him. That may work??? I wish your hubby was more supportive of you though--it's important for everyone in your family to have you at your healthiest so you can manage your son and the household and stay sane and happy for all those daily challenges.
Good luck with everything!0 -
Well, Obviously you are frustrated.
SO I have two suggestions.
1) let your Hubby cook his own dinner, obviously he has plenty of time to do it!!!! And he can do as many calories as he likes.
2) Cook the same for you and your Hubby, your son has enough to worry about....
I have to say I am thankful that my hubby has gotten on board with my lifestyle change, butting heads over foods isn't a fight I want to have several times a day.0 -
I cook once. My boys and husband make their own breakfast and lunch is generally just a sandwich or leftovers.
I can appreciate how you need to make a separate meal for your son, but your husband can eat what you eat and then eat some bread or boil some pasta for himself if he still needs carbs. A sauce to accompany the pasta is easy enough to learn to cook so I'm sure that your husband can learn to make it for himself or he can used the jarred stuff if he's desperate.
Good luck with this. 0 -
My husband works 12 hour shifts 7am to 7pm some days and 7pm to 7am others.(Right now he's on an eleven night stretch with one day off after the 5th because legally they can't work him more then 6 in a row) So some days I cook a couple of days worth of supper at lunch time and cook breakfast in the afternoon when he gets up at 5. Then supper again around 6 for my son. On other days (when he's working days) I have his supper ready at 8 when he gets home (this is still the second supper). For my other son, he lives off of cereal, poptarts peanut butter toast, bacon (has to be cut into bits or "lardons" and cooked, not strips) He's about 3-4 lbs away from being underweight - And Lord knows it ain't because I don't cook! (His pediatrician is aware) Sometimes I eat with the kids sometimes I eat with the husband. A couple times a month we actually get to sit down as a family together...then it feels like a holiday!
Edit to add: Sometimes I don't eat what the kids eat so I cook for me too. Sometimes just raw veggies0 -
My daughter has medical issues and has difficulty with food too. I found a book actually geared towards families that have a child with autism. It's called Just Take Bite. It was extremely helpful. My daughter use to require a different meal from us but now eats or tries most things- its still a battle but (and I know how stressful it is believe me) but having some of the ideas and tools the book suggested relieved some of the stress.
I also suggest buying a scale as Robin suggested. You can make meals for both you and your husband and measure out your portions.
May I also suggest- cook ahead of time and freeze portion sizes for you and your husband. You can also freeze left overs (that was a revelation to me!). That way you can mix and match for the both of you. So you make shredded pork, freeze in portion sizes, brown rice (yes you can freeze rice!) and a salad! More salad for you, more rice for him.
Every couple weeks, make huge batches and have a freezing party. I also use a pressure cooker quite alot. Talk about FAST!
Or have one of your girlfriends over and do it together-that makes it more fun-have a couple of wine spritzers while you are at it :laugh: .
Good luck,0 -
I don't have kids.... just me and other half
but yes I cook 2 meals one for me and one for him.
The reason being is that I am tall and fat and he is tall and skeletal :P
Therefore he has to eat foods to bulk him up and I eat to slim0 -
Its' very hard when this happens...my grandson came to stay with us 3 years ago so he could attend school in town and at that time he would only eat potatoes, bread, noodles etc...all high carb foods that I didn't want to eat...I did it for a while but now I just put food on his plate and tell him to just try it...he is now eating everthing we eat (except pumpkin) so i'm happy with that...my husband on the other hand likes good old fashioned meat and 3 veg....tonight I said we were having taco's - he said he just wanted his mince plain with potatoes......so this won't be too hard but I do sympathize with you....when do we get to please us??????0
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I feel your pain I also have a son who has aspergers and go through the same problem. I refuse to cook more than one meal for my family so I have found that taste of home has some really good food that is low fat. you can check out their web site or get a cookbook. I will make a meal and watch my plate size then the rest of my family can have as much as they want. To my surprise very rarely will there be a dish that I make that they will not eat!!! I don't even tell them that it is "diet" food. I do not know if it will work for you or not but it may be worth a try. My favorite cookbook is taste of home comfort food diet. but most all of the recipes are online. Hope this helps. Good luck on your weight loss 0
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