family and losing weight

Don't let their guilt bring you down. You are doing the right thing and the healthy thing and they're either jealous or feel bad about them selves they can't do it too.
We all want our families to be supportive, but in the end, family, friends and spouses are not what this is about. It's about YOU.

You have all the family and support you need right here.

keep doing what has gotten you this far. they may feel guilty because you are making sacrifices that are working and they arent and because they arent ready to change they will try to get you to stop. misery loves company and especially family is that way.

Fesse is right- they're probably just jealous that you're showing restraint and they don't feel they can do it to, or they're just feeling bad about themselves- guilty for eating food when you're not. I know how it can feels when people around me are eating healthy and I go ahead and splurge, and it's probably the same for them- all it takes is one person to make the healthy choices and it makes them feel bad about indulging. It's also hard b/c helpful advice or even just talking about the changes you're making can make them feel judged- like if you mention how nuts are a good snack, some people will snap at you like you were saying "Fatty, put down the cookie and eat some nuts instead!"

Do you have the kind of self restraint where you could put more on your plate and then just not eat it? They might get off your case if you take more food, but you don't have to eat everything you take, necessarily. You can always take the leftovers home with you!

you know what UP THEIRS! It took my sister almost a year to lose 10lbs and everyone was congratulating her, it's like she was the healthy eating guru...it took me 3 months to lose 20 and I get nothing but flack...it feels good to show my sister she's dumb, because she beratted me when i told her that i buy my son granola bars for his lunch, she only shops on the outside of the grocery store, i have 3 binders full of weight loss crap she gave me that MFP gives me in an app on my phone...blah blah blah...well she's still fat! flat out tell them that this is your choice and to kindly love it or lump it...if you are anything like me and feel the need to have your parents say "i'm proud of you" then it's just going to be heart ache...but i'm still learning that lesson.

People are frequently jealous of the success of others. My sister takes my size as a personal attack because my success shines a spotlight on her weight struggles.

Now, this is all in her head, but that doesn't matter. It's real to her.

When someone tells you 'I know what you're thinking', what they're REALLY saying is 'here is what I AM thinking'. Your family thinks that thin people are better than people who struggle with weight. That is what they're telling you.

I want to say 'let it roll off your back', but I know that is SO HARD when you're being personally attacked. Just know that what they're REALLY doing is showing you how they feel about themselves.

I know that I feel sad for my sister and how much she hates herself. It's easier for her to hate me and my success than it is for her to admit that her TRUE unhappiness is with herself.

Know that we're all here for you. WE will support you.

Charmagne

They might come around to it (my parents did, so did SOME of my work collegues, i put the rest down as being pure jealous)

Say you dont want to eat over a certain amount of stuff, or say you rather enjoy your food and savour it, you cant taste food if you keep shoving it down your throat (if you chew quite a bit, you will actually make better choices, as alot of processed stuff and fatty stuff tastes disguisting after even just 3-5 chews! although people dont get why i would rather eat fruit than cream buns, to me the fruit tastes nicer!)

Its them taking their insecurities out on you, dont let it deter you, or cause guilt, use it as motivation to do it longer, harder, better and keep it up, some people just want to see others fall.

I agree with Ctheslayer and Superwmm.

Also, congratulations on taking it upon yourself to change and be the best healthy and happy individual you can be! It's so sad to think that the people who are suppose to be there for you through the hard times and the good times can't seem to come through for supporting you during a 'good' lifestyle change.

I can understand this. It use to anger me because I didn't understand why they wouldn't be as happy as possible for me.

Jealousy is a vicious foe. They want to know where you get off developing this love for yourself that allows you to want to make changes because they lack it. The attention you are getting is definitely putting a light on how things are in the family tradition. You are not eating the way you use to and it seems like what they have to offer is not good enough for the 'new' you anymore. When you start to shine a light on how food and family are connected to food and overweight/obesity, it is not a pretty light and makes everyone turn inward and start hating. It's all very deep and psychological, but the one thing that is important is that you have decided to break the mold. Don't ever be ashamed of that! You can only live for you and you have to do the good things that make you happy as a whole person...no one in your family can live your life.

DO NOT COMPROMISE. Don't put more food on your plate to please or ease tension. Stand up for what you know is true to you and your health. They will keep trying to knock you down, but as long as you keep standing your ground....each time a little break is made and it might be the break that helps someone else in your family decide that they are worth making changes and getting healthy. Keep standing your ground and after enough times of realizing that you're not going to cave then it'll start to ease a little.

You have ALL of your MFP family here to give you support! Come lean on us and vent whatever with us and we'll help support, love and encourage each other like we should!

Good for you losing the weight! Family issues are so strong and I know you have a tough time dealing with their negative comments. Hopefully you can be prepared when they finally get on the bandwagon and then tell YOU how to lose weight! :smooched:

when my brother in law started losing weight his mother would tell him he was way too skinny. he was still around 270. i think as a country we've forgotten what healthy looks like since the majority of the country is overweight. thats what i told my husband when he told me my weight loss goal was extreme. my first goal is to get to 166, thats 65 pounds, but it's actually still in the overweight category. like i said, people forget what healthy looks like and they mistake healthy for malnurished or something. be proud of what you have accomplished and take their negative comments as compliments.

This is mom......cole's sister is not overweight. She just commented that cole looks at her plate when she eats at my house and compares the two. Her sister is lucky that she never had a weight problem and eats like a horse. No one is being negative about the amount of food cole eats. Its all in her head LOL.

Are you really her mom? I hope not, because you just proved all her points...

LOL! If you really can't see it, that is a shame. Look, I don't know you or Cole or the sister, but I do know that MFP is all about being supportive of healthy weight loss and healthy choices.

I'd like to stand up for Cole here and say, YOU ROCK COLE! You're making some great choices. Beezalar, this is your chance to be supportive of Cole, also. That's what these forums are for. That's what this site is about.

We're not here to talk about Cole's sister. We're here to support Cole. Cole doesn't feel supported at home, and your unsupportive post shows us that she is in fact not supported by at least one family member.

Cole, I'm proud of you and your choices. Good luck!

Well not anymore!!!