Online Daters - How long do you wait?

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  • bayouswampmike
    bayouswampmike Posts: 14
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    I would say if you want something to go for it ASAP. In today's society there's no use in playing games, even though some people do. If you know what you want you should go for it. A moment wasted can never be replaced. You should know once you talk to someone a couple of times if they are freaky...:smile:
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
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    Can you tell if they have read the messages, like on here?
    It depends on the site. The site I used recently doesn't show that, unfortunately. All this one will tell me is the last time he "updated" his profile, which was November, 2010. But I didn't take "updated" as meaning "last visited." So hopefully he's "last visited" since then!
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
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    Is it to pushing to send the first contact?
    I don't think so. Someone has to do it! :smile:
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    I responded when I got the message, if i was on line then that means we can strike up a conversation. I didn't hang out and constantly check my messages, when I got them I got them, when I had time I replied. I'm marrying the man of my dreams, and we met on POF...I'm sure you know you're going to go through a lot of duds before you find your man, just be patient. Think of it as just having fun, with no attachements or expectations. I sent the first contact to my fiance...and when we planned to meet, he stood me up twice...but I had the best first date with him than I had with any other man, it was incredible...and we've been together for 3 years, getting married in 2...there are no rules, but if someone creeps you out or gives you the "no" feeling, then listen to your guts...and be smart...no going in vehicles, meet them somewhere, give your friend a heads up so they can come save you, etc...i'm sure you know the drill. just be open and honest, don't try and be someone you're not because you're eventually going to meet, and that would p!ss you off if he did that.
  • deandp371
    deandp371 Posts: 63
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    I met my wife online, so it can work! She had a few bad dates and quit the site but didn't realize her profile was still up for a while when I happened to contact her!

    Cast out your line from time to time - you'll get a bite eventually! I doesn't hurt to change up your profile from time to time. You can have a friend check your profile too and see what they think - but be prepared for frank feedback if they're like that...

    Good luck!
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    I'm more creeped out by finding a guy in the bar...that's where my age group meets their mates...it's a meat market...they could spin any bullsh!t story and away you go...I like the internet, you get converstation, and you can ask questions you wouldn't think of asking while staring into his face over a beer. You get to "hang out" with them a few times before you decide to meet them, kind of lets you filter the nut jobs. I don't know, it's socially different I guess. To be honest with you, I was in the process of shutting down my page when I did "one last look"...ended up messaging my future husband...and he was the last person I messaged...I did shut down my profile after I met him lol...
  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
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    I also met my Husband online in 2003, not on a dating site, but he was in Canada and me in the UK, so we would never have met otherwise!! We clicked pretty much right away, and so I say go for it, don't be freaked out, make sure you are honest and take time to get to know someone before you meet. (we talked for almost a year before he got on a plane to the UK, but by then we were already in love with each other, when we 'met ' in person for the first time it was like we knew each other for years and years, I even knew how he liked his coffee) Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • meagalayne
    meagalayne Posts: 3,382 Member
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    Is it to pushing to send the first contact?
    I don't think so. Someone has to do it! :smile:
    Nope! I always messaged first - Never really responded to anyone. Messaged my current boyfriend on Canada Day and we've been together since!
  • superwmn
    superwmn Posts: 936
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    Just respond. If your response time scares someone away, I say they're not the right person for you. No games. That's just silly.

    Charmagne
  • Nigel99
    Nigel99 Posts: 498 Member
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    If they don't respond in a couple of days, I would forget about that person. You don't want to waste time on somebody who doesn't seem interested in you.

    I met my gf online as well (but not through a dating service). We've been together over 10 years.
  • MzBug
    MzBug Posts: 2,173 Member
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    When I sent out interest messages I would wait 7-10 days (give them a weekend in there) and if I hadn't heard anything back I would write them off. I wasn't looking for a long term thing, I was busy at work and contemplating moving to another state. I just wanted to go out and have some fun when I had a day off. I met some nice guys, some ok dudes, and some real losers, but had fun doing it.

    I met my guy online a little over 5 years ago. I always responded to messages, either saying I wasn't interested thanks anyway, or asking questions if I were interested. In the case of my guy, I sent him a message telling him I wasn't interested in seeing someone that was so much younger than I was (7 years). He kept sending me messages asking why, how come, but you're so cool... we finally started chatting online as friends, and after months of me saying no I had a moment of weakness and said ok to dinner. He had never even seen a picture of me! That was all she wrote.

    Good Luck!
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
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    When I sent out interest messages I would wait 7-10 days (give them a weekend in there) and if I hadn't heard anything back I would write them off. I wasn't looking for a long term thing, I was busy at work and contemplating moving to another state. I just wanted to go out and have some fun when I had a day off. I met some nice guys, some ok dudes, and some real losers, but had fun doing it.

    I met my guy online a little over 5 years ago. I always responded to messages, either saying I wasn't interested thanks anyway, or asking questions if I were interested. In the case of my guy, I sent him a message telling him I wasn't interested in seeing someone that was so much younger than I was (7 years). He kept sending me messages asking why, how come, but you're so cool... we finally started chatting online as friends, and after months of me saying no I had a moment of weakness and said ok to dinner. He had never even seen a picture of me! That was all she wrote.

    Good Luck!
    WOW!! Now that's persistence!! Love that story!

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