How do you deal with overwhelming discouragement?

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trekkiebeth
trekkiebeth Posts: 172
in Motivation and Support
I've been exercising 3-5 days a week for over two months. I have never been that consistent with exercise in my life. I have only good food at home and I stay within my calorie limit...most of the time. I admit I've screwed up fairly regularly with social eating. I know I need to do better in that area if I'm going to see real results, but I'm gaining weight faster than I ever have in my life and it's freaking me out.

I've gained 20 pounds in the last year and a half and I've never seen myself so big. I feel like a gross blob and I'm about to start wearing my boyfriend's size large T-shirts because all my (mostly size small) shirts are too tight. (I'm too broke to go out and buy a new fat wardrobe, at least while I still have a shred of hope of losing weight.)

This week I started increasing my cardio by going from doing 30-40 minutes on my stationary bike to doing 20-30 minutes of walking plus 30 minutes on the bike. Today I did a whole hour of cardio (walk + bike). I also started adding work with 5-8 pound weights. It felt good...until I looked in the mirror. Like I said, I've never seen myself so big and I want to cry whenever I look in the mirror. The more I exercise the more useless it feels since I just keep getting bigger.

How can I deal with such overwhelming discouragement? Help!!!
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Replies

  • Mads1997
    Mads1997 Posts: 1,494 Member
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    You don't have your diary open so people won't be able to help you there but check your sodium levels. Are you eating lots of processed foods?
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,411 Member
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    Remember as you exercise you build muscle which weighs more than fat (it also burns calories more efficiently) eventually you notice a difference. That said, if you haven't had a full physical lately, it wouldn't hurt to check with your dr. Some health issues can cause weight gain.
  • AshliKrasz
    AshliKrasz Posts: 31 Member
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    I would start with a physical just to be safe.
  • AshliKrasz
    AshliKrasz Posts: 31 Member
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    PS I see your weight now is 151, that is my goal weight and I am on inch taller haha. I'm betting you look great! I didnt realize you were so slim to start with I'm betting you are gaining muscle!
  • trekkiebeth
    trekkiebeth Posts: 172
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    I'm not having too much sodium and I eat all healthy stuff, mostly organic. I'm getting the proper amount of all the food groups except perhaps veggies, but I've been getting better at working those in too. I drink almost nothing but water.

    It's not muscle because my clothes aren't any looser; they're tighter. I look fatter.
  • trekkiebeth
    trekkiebeth Posts: 172
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    PS I see your weight now is 151, that is my goal weight and I am on inch taller haha. I'm betting you look great! I didnt realize you were so slim to start with I'm betting you are gaining muscle!

    I'm up to 153.5 now. I'm 20 pounds heavier than I was just a year and a half ago and I'm at my highest weight ever, so I don't feel slim.
  • elizamc
    elizamc Posts: 285 Member
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    That's so hard when you are putting so much effort in x. I agree to see your Doctor, maybe so try completely different exercises? And try out some new foods? I know I get into a rut and stuck eating the same old foods, a change could be a 'kick start'?
    I would also encourage you to pat yourself on the back as you must bs much fitter with all the exercise... Keep going!
  • captdrea
    captdrea Posts: 1
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    Get a full work- up from your doctor. You can always call on help from God.
  • NoExcuseTina
    NoExcuseTina Posts: 506 Member
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    Please open up your diary so people can take a look at it and help you! Sometimes what we think is "healthy" food is not as healthy as we think. I have struggled with weight loss my whole life and thought I was always eating healthy.

    Another thing to do is to see your doctor...usually an unexplained 20 pound gain (or loss) is something they like to start running tests for...things they will check might be your thyroid.

    Good luck!
  • trekkiebeth
    trekkiebeth Posts: 172
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    The only thing I can think is that my social eating is killing it, although I don't know why I'm gaining so fast when I'm doing so well with exercise.

    I mostly need to know what do to about how I'm feeling. The overwhelming discouragement and depression and wanting to cry when I look in the mirror.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    I admit I've screwed up fairly regularly with social eating. I know I need to do better in that area if I'm going to see real results, but I'm gaining weight faster than I ever have in my life and it's freaking me out.

    You'd be surprised how cheat days can affect weight loss. If you eat healthy 5 days out of the week and cheat 2 days can put 1-2 lbs on at least for me. I can do workouts 7 days a week and I am talking about hard workouts running 5 miles 60 mins workouts etc...but if i cheat even a couple of days i can see weight gain.

    Try committing for one month to follow your calorie intake coupled with exercising and i am sure you will see some results.


    Good Luck!
  • sevenatenine
    sevenatenine Posts: 2
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    This is something my mom told me, "You did't get fat in one day, it took months of it slowly building up. It works the same way coming off. A little at a time."
  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Posts: 1,740 Member
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    how many calories are you on, how many of them do you eat, how is your sodium intake? How honest are you with your logging...do you log your fruit and veg and little bites of this that or the other. What apart from water are you drinking, do you log it? (had an MFP friend who stuck on her weight for ages finally suss that what she thought was low calories drink was actually full sugar and she was consuming 1000 cals a day just in fluid!). Do you check the nutritional info on the foods you add...do not trust entries marked with a * ...they're others users entries and are often way off the truth! Apparently you cant build muscle on less than about 1400 calories (maybe higher) so unless you are on that or above I doubt its muscle building
  • trekkiebeth
    trekkiebeth Posts: 172
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    I don't have insurance that covers checkups. It only deals with serious medical issues as they appear.

    I haven't used my diary here in a while since I eat basically the same thing and the same amount every day. (Except when I screw up at restaurants.) I've posted about it before and asked people I know and no one seems to think there's anything wrong with how I'm eating.
  • trekkiebeth
    trekkiebeth Posts: 172
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    **** I mostly need to know what do to about how I'm feeling. The overwhelming discouragement and depression and wanting to cry when I look in the mirror. ****
  • jkestens63
    jkestens63 Posts: 1,164 Member
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    I think part of it is that you want to see immediate results. You have mentioned a couple of times how you used to be and you may be wanting to see that same person in the mirror now after a couple of months of semi-change (and I say that only because you admit to not doing well with the social stuff). It took you a year to put it on, its going to take that to get it off and keep it off. You also have to fully commit - otherwise you really won't see any concrete results.

    You can continue to beat yourself up or you can take a step back, take a deep breath and be realistic. This takes a lot of hard work and truly a change in lifestyle. There are sacrifices to be made and if you're not willing to truly make them, you will continue to be frustrated and discouraged. You would be better off accepting who you are than torturing yourself with who you want to be and not making the effort to get there.

    I don't mean to sound harsh but that's the reality of weight loss. It sucks and its hard BUT in the end, if you stick with it, its so worth the reward of feeling good (to me looks are unimportant - even at my fattest I always thought I was a damn fine woman, but physically I felt like crap with a lot of medical problems so that was my initial motivation to lose weight).

    And remember, fat or thin, usually what we see in the mirror is not what we really look like. We all have a bit of body distortion when it comes to looking at ourselves. How do you feel physically is most important.
  • tatwood106
    tatwood106 Posts: 23
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    HI,
    You don't mention how long you are exercising for and how close to your calorie goal you consistently are. Are you logging your exercise calories? If you are not, you can put your body into starvation mode and it holds onto all the extra calories it can get. Check with your doctor first, but ironically it could be your not eating enough. Hang in there the closer you are to your ideal weight, the longer it takes to come off. Try exercises that target the areas where you feel you have extra weight. Good Luck!!!!
  • trekkiebeth
    trekkiebeth Posts: 172
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    I think part of it is that you want to see immediate results. You have mentioned a couple of times how you used to be and you may be wanting to see that same person in the mirror now after a couple of months of semi-change (and I say that only because you admit to not doing well with the social stuff). It took you a year to put it on, its going to take that to get it off and keep it off.

    I've done nothing but gain weight the whole time I've been trying. At this point I would be happy with very slow progress as long as it was in the right direction.
  • jkestens63
    jkestens63 Posts: 1,164 Member
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    I don't have insurance that covers checkups. It only deals with serious medical issues as they appear.

    I haven't used my diary here in a while since I eat basically the same thing and the same amount every day. (Except when I screw up at restaurants.) I've posted about it before and asked people I know and no one seems to think there's anything wrong with how I'm eating.

    This is what I mean by fully committing. Track your food - that is like the basic rule of any weight loss plan. Any program, any doctor, any article, anyone who has been successful at losing and maintaining a healthy weight will tell you that is the key. Its so easy to let little things get by and you don't realize how many calories you are actually consuming but snagging one cookie there, a glass of wine there, an extra piece of bread, fully calorie dressing. You can't approach this half-heartedly because you will continue to fail.
  • trekkiebeth
    trekkiebeth Posts: 172
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    I don't understand why I'm still being asked about my eating habits when I've already given that information or why I'm being asked how long I exercise when I already gave that information too. Plus I've written this twice:

    **** I mostly need to know what do to about how I'm feeling. The overwhelming discouragement and depression and wanting to cry when I look in the mirror. ****

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