Anyone else feel as though you have to defend your weight lo

SueLaboo
SueLaboo Posts: 26
edited September 24 in Motivation and Support
I have lost 33 lbs since August and have 9 more to go to get to my goal weight of 130 lbs (I am 5'3"), so I am currently 139 lbs and am constantly being told by people that I don't look like I need to lose any more weight and that I'm going to be nothing but skin and bones if I keep losing weight. I understand that I look alot thinner because I WAS OVERWEIGHT! lol And I'm guessing people are just saying these things to "be nice" to me...but I find myself constantly defending myself and telling people that I'm just *barely* in the healthy weight zone and that 130 lbs isn't even skin and bones for someone my height andTHAT'S still 9 lbs away. It's demotivating and annoying. I know I shouldn't let it bother me so much, but it does. I was jus wondering if I'm alone with this stupid problem.
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Replies

  • cindy4mica
    cindy4mica Posts: 777 Member
    omg YES! i HATE that! be supportive if you want to say anything at all. this is MY body and if i'm not harming it (that is not losing so much weight that it's affecting my health or lifestyle) and i feel good about myself, who's to say anything negative?
  • entropybaby
    entropybaby Posts: 12 Member
    No, you are not alone!! I get this from my family all the time who think I look better "plump", when I actually feel unhealthy. For the people who offend you, just say thanks for your concern, and change the subject. There's no need to go into detail with them about what your plans for your body are! You can always say, "thanks! I'm feeling much healthier and looking forward to feeling even better." Good luck and hang in there, only you know what works for you!!
  • jlewis2896
    jlewis2896 Posts: 763 Member
    I hear you. I'll go out to eat with friends and if I order a salad they give me the stink eye.

    I just tell people it's not about the weight, it's about remaining healthy and putting good things into my body. And then I jiggle my underarm fat for them.
  • marymooster
    marymooster Posts: 134 Member
    no pretty common. everyone says i will be too thin at my goal wt... well let me decide that. just goes to show the shift in mentality when it comes to weight... just make your choice be happy with it and stick to it..
  • cindy4mica
    cindy4mica Posts: 777 Member
    I hear you. I'll go out to eat with friends and if I order a salad they give me the stink eye.

    I just tell people it's not about the weight, it's about remaining healthy and putting good things into my body. And then I jiggle my underarm fat for them.

    lmao!
  • Mollydolly10
    Mollydolly10 Posts: 431 Member
    Uuuuugh, you are going to get a LOT of responses - yes yes and yes it is annoying and demotivating. And I think you're right, they are just used to seeing you overweight, so when you lose 33 pounds (CONGRATS!!!!) you are looking like a different person. But you and I, and everyone on here knows that you are NOT skin and bones, nor are you in danger of becoming emaciated, that's just fact. Sometimes these types of comments will come from people who are overweight and (whether consciously or unconsciously) trying to hold you back cause they don't want you to be better than them and succeed where they only fail.

    You are doing incredible. I agree with just saying, "thanks for the concern, but I am still not at a healthy weight by doctor's standards" or something of the sort.
  • ChefJenn
    ChefJenn Posts: 350 Member
    yeah i know this feeling but in a different way.
    my goal is only 175 and that makes me a size 12 but it still puts my BMI in a high range
    I dont want to be super thin and a big boned person and ppl just dont understand that. they tell me your so tall you could be so thin so fast. Im almost 5'10.

    I have to say that I dont want to be 150 pounds I look so sick at that weight, I was that size about 12 yrs ago and my Dr said i was at risk of having causing myself to have low blood sugar and anemia .
  • Galathea
    Galathea Posts: 420 Member
    I got into a huge argument with my mother about that a while back. I have been overweight (well, obese) my whole life. Now I'm in an healthy BMI range, but I still have to lose 20 lbs. Most people around me tell me I should stop. But I think they really believe it, just because they have never seen me this way and can't imagine what I will look like at my goal weight. Heck, even I can't. But I wanna find out.
    Luckily I was able to explain it to my mom and she was fine with it. She just doesn't want to know how much I weigh and told me she will ask me to stop, if I really start looking too thin. There's nothing more I could ask for.
    I think it's good to have someone to watch over you, because it's easy to go too far. But it has to be someone who's not just saying it out of no reason.
  • nalia08
    nalia08 Posts: 252
    It is a way to deter you from your goal. Only YOU and YOU alone know what weight you look good and how you feel. It's peoples reaction to you wanting to achieve a goal of being thinner then they are so now you will have all the attention on you! I say keep pressing forward and get to that goal! We are supporting you on MFP as we all know what this is like. I'm 145 lbs and 5"3 also. I want to be 135 and hear the same thing you do....it won't end.....
    good luck!
  • CNParker
    CNParker Posts: 108 Member
    Its pretty normal. Just say thanks and move on. That's what I have to do. LOL. When I'm asked why I think I need to lose weight I say I'm not dieting to lose weight, I'm in it to be healthy and change my life. Weight loss is just a side effect.
  • brityn
    brityn Posts: 443 Member
    I'm 5'5" and 129 lbs. I don't want to lose anymore weight, but I've dropped 15 lbs in the past five months so people definitely noticed. I know I'm really healthy now, and in way better shape, so I continue to make good choices with food and exercise. People, including family, keep asking me when i'm going to be "off" my "diet" it's not a diet...it's a lifestyle.... I think most of the time people are just jealous or they've never had to worry about gaining weight. Do what's good for you! I've learned to ignore the comments and e happy that I feel good and look good....
  • Tuckersn
    Tuckersn Posts: 149
    I grew up bigger, active in horses, but definitely overweight. I only lost weight as an adult. I have 40 lbs to go and people regularly tell me this. I'm tall . . . maybe I carry it well, but to me, I know where healthy is . . . I'm not abnormally large boned (medium frame actually) and there's no earthly reason I should carry 40 extra lbs around. And thats in the middle of my BMI healthy range.

    So, thanks for the "compliment" (??) but i think I'll just keep at it. =0)
  • SamiSamiBoBlammy
    SamiSamiBoBlammy Posts: 868 Member
    I hear you. I'll go out to eat with friends and if I order a salad they give me the stink eye.

    I just tell people it's not about the weight, it's about remaining healthy and putting good things into my body. And then I jiggle my underarm fat for them.

    It's also how they try to justify themselves. If they can convince you to eat the 'junk' that they are eating, they don't have to feel as guilty for eating it.
  • Cherrycandy
    Cherrycandy Posts: 200
    I know what you mean, they are probably trying to be flattering and make you feel good, but its kinda like after a funeral and everyone has good intentions and keeps asking, "How you feeling...you doing ok" and after it's asked the millionth time you just want to say, "No! Im not and stop asking me ignorant a** questions...i"m sad! I'm pissed! I"m in a Sh*tty mood dumba**!" Bottom line is, that it's nobodys business how much you weigh or what your goals are. I think some people get jealous too, because they dont either have the will power or the bravery to start to lose weight, lol. Your business is your business. If they dont buy your groceries, they can mind thier own business.
  • Iris0022
    Iris0022 Posts: 54
    People tell me all the time that I don't need to lose weight, but I know what I used to weigh when I was healthy and active and it's not what I weigh now. I think what they are really saying is that I don't need to lose as much weight as some other person might (or as much as they do). Yes there are people that weigh more than me, but that doesn't mean that I don't deserve to weigh less and be a healthier me.
  • nixxy74
    nixxy74 Posts: 106
    I listened to the sabotagers out there when i was in my early twenties and lost all the weight i worked so hard on getting rid of.It came back with a vengence and now nearly twenty years later im twice as heavy.

    WARNING!!! DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM ITS A REFLECTION ON THEIR OWN INSECRITY THAT YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING POSITIVE AND THEY DONT LIKE IT!

    you are bascially a threat to the box they put you in, so if you move the goal posts they will try and put you in their idea of wherethey think you should be. and now im trying to get back to what i was. .... THINNER! put in your ipod and dance in their face and lose cals whilst ya do it!
  • Cherrycandy
    Cherrycandy Posts: 200
    I hear you. I'll go out to eat with friends and if I order a salad they give me the stink eye.

    I just tell people it's not about the weight, it's about remaining healthy and putting good things into my body. And then I jiggle my underarm fat for them.

    It's also how they try to justify themselves. If they can convince you to eat the 'junk' that they are eating, they don't have to feel as guilty for eating it.


    EXACTLY!!!!! THIS is what i'm talking about!!!! ;)
  • smelmel
    smelmel Posts: 98 Member
    you are definately not alone, I was there a few months back and I totally felt the same, it was like I was doing all this hard work exercising and eating right and people would say "you don't want to lose anymore weight it wont suit you or are you anorexic how come you know all the calories your too obssessed. I still eat maccas every now and then and eat very healthy, I am 64 kgs and 173cm so I wouldn't mind losing a kilo or 2.
    How I got over it was I just don't talk about it anymore, I just tell people I'm happy at this weight and don't want to lose anymore, mostly I think it's from people who are a bit jealous and really want to lose weight eat healthy themselves but can't find the motivation. Too me it's not worth the discussion everyone is happy this way.
  • abyt42
    abyt42 Posts: 1,358 Member
    I've lost 38 of the 42 I'm trying to lose, and my husband is very clear that I've lost enough. I'm not as sure, but am trying to maintain for a while to see if being this size grows on me.
  • GeauxDonielle
    GeauxDonielle Posts: 145 Member
    yes! and they say you can spare to eat this(junk food) or ou dont hve to watch what you eat- I respond wth "no because i watch what i eat i dont have to stress so much an i feel good"
  • mlemonroe2
    mlemonroe2 Posts: 603
    I once got down to 123 pounds and people kept telling me I was too thin. It really bothered me. Especially because I didn't mean to lose weight, I was diagnosed with crohns disease. Would you go up to someone and say "Hey, you're too fat!" It still hurts your feelings. People don't think when they say things sometimes. Just stop telling people your weight and that you plan to lose more. It's no one elces buisness anyway!!
  • Nicolekp
    Nicolekp Posts: 11 Member
    Good for you for continuing even when there is only negative support. If it is your friends and Family then sure you can try to expain it to them. My suggestion would be to tell them that you arae aware of what is healthy and unhealthy in your progress and that you have done the research to prove your doing what is right. Also you could tell them that while they think they are showing concern they are making you feel bad and that you would appreciate it if they would support your decision and say way to go for the hard work you have already done. You are doing fantastic. Don't worry about what they say, you know the saying 'Be a Duck' let it roll off your back. Keep up the good work.
  • SueLaboo
    SueLaboo Posts: 26
    WOWWWWW!!! And this is why I LOVE this place! lol

    Why do we always feel like we're alone in our crazy little worlds? Then we find out we're not! Thanks you guys! You have some pretty amazing stories. You are all true inspirations!!!
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I get that a lot. "But you look great! You don't need to lose any weight."

    I thank them for what they say, and take it as a compliment, but I'm not yet where I want to be or how I want to feel. I'm the one living in this body, and I'm going to make it what I want it to be.

    However, I'm guilty of doing the same thing. I have a gorgeous niece who exercises like a fiend, and talks about losing weight, and I look at her and say, "From where?!"
  • jdavis193
    jdavis193 Posts: 972 Member
    Yes!! I weight 112 lbs 5'2 and I keep saying I want to tone everyones like no you don't need to. I think most of it is lack of knowledge and usually it's because the person saying that is bigger and feels guilty about themselves. Most people are jealous of success.
  • JudoJones
    JudoJones Posts: 54
    I believe their negative comments are derrived from their own insecurity. To admit that you look good small means they have to look at themselves.

    You don't have to say anything to them, they already now the truth even if they don't want to admit it.

    Congrats on the weight loss & the healthy lifestyle!
    scott
  • Thomasm198
    Thomasm198 Posts: 3,189 Member
    I've gotten that from a few people as well... "Don't lose too much weight", "You don't need to lose any more weight" etc.

    Generally this comes from people who could do with losing a few pounds themselves :laugh:
  • goron59
    goron59 Posts: 890 Member
    When I was 117kg, I told people around me my ideal weight should be a little under 90kg and many people at that time said I'd look like a stick if I got down that far.

    I'm now 99 and the same people are saying that yes, I'm thinner/lighter, but still wobbly in places and could lose a bit more.

    I think it helps to grab handfuls of flab and show it to anyone who thinks you haven't go any more to lose!
  • jerseyshorenurse
    jerseyshorenurse Posts: 47 Member
    See below...I hit the wrong button and entered too soon :o)
  • jipper44
    jipper44 Posts: 111
    Agreed on just about everything said so far! It's the last few pounds that seem to be the hardest to lose and what makes it harder is this negative support! ARGH! I especially agree with the person who said these comments usually come from people who may have a few pounds to lose themselves...they're most likely jealous of your commitment and success on top of it. You go girl! Keep going and maybe someday you'll find out you've inspired everyone around you to be healthier :)
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