Why did the chicken cross the road?? LOL

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BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change.


JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One! that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

**** CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

 OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side.That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Replies

  • Quenofcrazzy
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    BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change.


    JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

    HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One! that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

    GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

    **** CHENEY: Where's my gun?

    COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

    BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

    AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

    JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

    AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

    DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

    Â OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

    ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

    PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

    DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

    JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side.That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

    GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

    ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

    BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

    COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • plantlady99
    plantlady99 Posts: 1,338 Member
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    to funny


    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • jbuehrer
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    cute
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
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    LOLOLOL "Did I miss one?" :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    :grumble: :noway: :laugh: LOL
  • Ezzie
    Ezzie Posts: 665 Member
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    MFP chicken....The chicken crossed the road, jogged back, skipped across again, checked her HRM , ran sprints back and forth across the road, checked her HRM once more, and gave a huge sighof relief.

    She then went back to the coop logged her exercise calories, weighed herself, cackled with glee and proceeded to gobble all the grasshoppers invading the garden secure in the knowledge that eating her exercise calories was a good thing.:bigsmile: :bigsmile:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    MFP chicken....The chicken crossed the road, jogged back, skipped across again, checked her HRM , ran sprints back and forth across the road, checked her HRM once more, and gave a huge sighof relief.

    She then went back to the coop logged her exercise calories, weighed herself, cackled with glee and proceeded to gobble all the grasshoppers invading the garden secure in the knowledge that eating her exercise calories was a good thing.:bigsmile: :bigsmile:

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :drinker:
  • jamerz3294
    jamerz3294 Posts: 1,824 Member
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    Snoopy: It was a dark and stormy night. A shot rang out. Did the chicken really cross the road?

    Chuck Palahniuk: The chicken was dancing and scratching all the way across the 8 lane superhighway and decided that it really was a ninja in disguise, in an airport in Europe, with nun chucks.

    Steven King: Slowly... ever so slowly... the abomination that the chicken had become struggled to plant one gristly claw in front of the other, making it's painful way to a destiny that only the Farmer could realize.

    Robert A. Heinlein: Seizing the doorway into anther set of dimensions, the chicken evolved into a smarter, better version of it's previous personality, and arrived with aplomb at the other side of the metaphysical road.

    Arthur C Clarke: The chicken approached the obelisk... and for the very first time in the short history of it's species, it had a glimmer of what might have been described as a thought.

    Dean Koontz: The chicken was mystified at it's beginning. Where had it come from, to be what it had become? How much pain must it endure to finally cross the road?
    .
    (yes, I made all those up :laugh: )
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    Options
    MFP chicken....The chicken crossed the road, jogged back, skipped across again, checked her HRM , ran sprints back and forth across the road, checked her HRM once more, and gave a huge sighof relief.

    She then went back to the coop logged her exercise calories, weighed herself, cackled with glee and proceeded to gobble all the grasshoppers invading the garden secure in the knowledge that eating her exercise calories was a good thing.:bigsmile: :bigsmile:

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: That is so funny!!!
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    Options
    Snoopy: It was a dark and stormy night. A shot rang out. Did the chicken really cross the road?

    Chuck Palahniuk: The chicken was dancing and scratching all the way across the 8 lane superhighway and decided that it really was a ninja in disguise, in an airport in Europe, with nun chucks.

    Steven King: Slowly... ever so slowly... the abomination that the chicken had become struggled to plant one gristly claw in front of the other, making it's painful way to a destiny that only the Farmer could realize.

    Robert A. Heinlein: Seizing the doorway into anther set of dimensions, the chicken evolved into a smarter, better version of it's previous personality, and arrived with aplomb at the other side of the metaphysical road.

    Arthur C Clarke: The chicken approached the obelisk... and for the very first time in the short history of it's species, it had a glimmer of what might have been described as a thought.

    Dean Koontz: The chicken was mystified at it's beginning. Where had it come from, to be what it had become? How much pain must it endure to finally cross the road?
    .
    (yes, I made all those up :laugh: )


    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: My son would get a big kick out of the Dean Koontz one. He's a big DK fan. :laugh: