Disrespected by my stepson

I had to comment on this. You do not deserve to be treated that way by anyone, let alone someone in your own home. I have a son, was a single mother for many years and recently married, so now my son has a stepfather. First of all, I would never let my son speak that way to ANYONE, let alone someone older than them and certainly not their step parent. The fact that your husband is okay with him speaking like this, and forgive me for being harsh, but that speaks VOLUMES about his parenting skills. It is not a good situation to be in and I am sorry that you are having to deal with things like that. Maybe it is time to have a talk with your husband about priorities. Lots of love and hope things improve.

I have a stepson who is 18 also and if he talked to me like that his dad would probably kill him. I am fortunate though that he does not live with us and he is in the Army. It also sounds like your husband does not respect you either. When he married you he was supposed to put you and your feelings before his son's feelings. That is very saddening to know that he would tell you if you did not like it you could leave. I hate to say it but I would probaly just have to do that.....leave. As a matter of fact knowing myself that is exactly what I would do. There is no way I would tolerate being talked to like that by a stepson or a husband. God bless you and I do pray that you will come to terms with what you need to do. Respect is one of the main foundations of a marriage....your husband needs to teach his son that is not how you talk to or treat a woman!!

He thinks that since he turned 18, his crap doesn't stink and he doesn't have to abide by the house rules anymore. He got up in my face and said, "Shut the f*** up, b****!" And telling his dad won't do any good, because this kind of thing has come up before, and his dad says, "He was here first...if you don't like how you are treated here, you can leave.". I know blood is thicker than water, but damn, I think that his dad should step in and say something to defend me. But knowing how this family works, I don't think that will happen. I'm ready to move out because I am tired of being treated like garbage. My kids and I don't deserve this.

are you happy?? If not, I would make plans to leave!!!

maybe it is time for a reverse treatment tactic....
the old saying of, "what goes around, comes around??"
put the shoe on the other foot.....
treat him the same way, both step son and husband!!!
and as for YOUR kids, don't teach then to disrespect, but I would certainly have them on your side!!!

i didnt want to say anything, but you should never keep yourself in a situation were you are unhappy, not only for your safety, because with the behavior that the both of them have, things could escalate and get worse, but the stress and unhappieness is not good for your health either. if i remember correctly it was you whos husband threw the computer out because, the way i put it, he had a temper tantrum ,, which IMO is a bit over the top, and i agree with frthir, it is abuse. i hope ya'll get either get some help or you just get the heck outta there before it gets worse. :flowerforyou: and NO you and your kids DO NOT deserve to be treated that way.

What is going on is abuse, plain and simple, both from the boy and the man and there is no excuse or rationale for it. Your first priority is the safety and well-being of you and your children. When the time comes that you are ready to take a stand, shout out. If nothing else, I've got lots of resources I can hook you up with, as a counselor, a minister and most of all, as a woman.

You should really take this offer, it may save your life and the future of your other children.

hi there...

i dont want to bring back painfull memories but i remember other posts by you from earlier in the year..
i think that all that it comes down too is respect... and i mean that by so many ways..

one of them is to be strong enough to respect yourself (and your daughters) to not accept to be threated that way

you deserve more then that..

good luck... may

Based on the husband's lack of respect and concern for you (and your children), I'd advise to get out any way possible.

That is not acceptable. Do you REALLY want a man like that (your husband, not even the crappy stepson) around your children?

Blood is thicker than water nothing. Marriage should be stronger than a disrespectful son.

You may have posted this here simply to vent, but we are all speaking out because this is not acceptable. A punk kid is one thing. He is 18 and a jerk. But a husband/father that allows this behavior is entirely another.

You need to kick his *kitten* to the curb.

Tears are rolling down my cheeks hearing you being put through this type of treatment. First off, what you put up with is what your children will see and think it's normal to put up with, even your stepson. Your actions now affect their future choices. But also you not giving up is also a positive thing for them.

I am fortunate to have a man who is very happy raising my children as his own without ever having any of his own biologically (can't have anymore). My children adore him, but they are only 6 and 8. He fears greatly the day when they look at him and simply say "You are not my father". But I won't ever tolerate that happening. The fact that he gets up at night with them when they are sick, feeds them, clothes them, bathes them, helps with homework, attends school functions, and all around loves and disciplines them makes him their father. Blood is not thicker than water. Love is.

My two cents worth, your husband is allowing his son to grow up to be a disrespectful human being. Your husband is not only hurting you, but he's hurting his son as well by tolerating it. and BTW, you deserve better treatment. And although his son was there first, he will not be there last. Kids grow up and leave. Does your husband really want to be all alone when that happens. There should be no choices, just boundaries.

Whatever you do, TAKE CARE OF YOU!!! Mental and verbal abuse is sometimes more damaging than physical abuse because the bruises and scars are not as easily visible to the outside world. Big HUGS from this end (not too tight though as I know you are very much bruised by this situation).

He got up in my face and said, "Shut the f*** up, b****!" And telling his dad won't do any good, because this kind of thing has come up before, and his dad says, "He was here first...if you don't like how you are treated here, you can leave.".

Your husband had told you exactly how he feels about you-your stepson doesn't resIpect you, because your husband doesn't respect you. This is something you will have to accept the rest of your life as long as your are with him.

Sorry, know that sounds a little harsh, but I don't believe in sugar coating the truth. However, I am not going to say you should leave your husband-that is a personal desicion-and I don't believe in telling people what is best for their situation (and their children's). Only you know what is best for you and your children.

Good Luck.:flowerforyou: