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MyFitnessPal Community

Harassment while sweating.... Dear jerk,

lisarae

I've seen letters like this written and I figure it's a good way to get my anger out!

Dear poo face,
I hope you felt good commenting on my butt and what you'd like to do with me while I was running today. I was feeling stoked while running a great Sunday run and minding my own business when you pulled up along side me and starting making disgusting comments. I do not know how long you were trailing me or when you started yelling out of your truck as I was listening to music. But, THANK YOU as I now will always be looking behind me and watching every jacked up truck that drives by. I only wish this never happens to your daughter, sister or any female in your life. I hope they never run like hell to get away from a sick-o who is trailing them. I wish for you an itchy and scratchy sensation in your nether-regions that will never go away. Now I feel better!

Lisa

Replies

lisarae

kerrilucko

Ugh, that has happened to me too. I had headphones on so I didn't realize until the jerk was literally inches away from me. Can be very scary, glad you are alright. :flowerforyou:

frithir

bugger :grumble: Score 2 for living out here in the country where the only time you get approached while out exercising is when someone stops to chew the fat for a minute and if they see you have your headphones on, just wave as they go by.

Marla64

Immature, low-rent, mindless pigs-- ugh.

I run at night. We live in a "safe" neighborhood, whatever that means these days, large population of people, and I have my cell phone with me (and usually my hubby and/or my dog) but I love the peacefulness of running in my own little cocoon at night when no one can see me.

When I'm alone, I stay in the middle of the road so nobody would be able to theoretically grab me and drag me out of sight without a great, loud struggle. And it's never "that" late, so there are still plenty of residents up and lots of house lights on.

I guess it's the fear of being taunted, or laughed at that propels me (not to mention my running shoes :laugh: ) at night. But, I've tried running in the daytime, and just don't like it. I like being invisible when I run.

So sorry for your troubles this morning-- the jerks.:grumble:

lisarae

I live in a rural community in Iowa of 9,000. This has happened a few times while I have run over a 2-3 year period. At first I was scared, then really angry. My DH was livid. My parents live out on a farm a few miles from town and I have run out on the gravel roads as well. Two years ago, a runner was hit and killed by a drunk driver who fled the scene. This was 3 miles from their house and my dad freaked out and doesn't like me running on gravel either.
I guess no matter where you are, you just can't get too comfy and always keep your eyes open and looking around. Do men think about this?

Marla64

PS: Your initial letter was great-- it'd make a great letter to the editor of your local paper. Folks love that stuff.

jenninsocal

ugh pigs!

Seriously it doesnt matter where you live, there are always people like this. I wish you could find him and give him that letter!

runnerdad

I live in a rural community in Iowa of 9,000. This has happened a few times while I have run over a 2-3 year period. At first I was scared, then really angry. My DH was livid. My parents live out on a farm a few miles from town and I have run out on the gravel roads as well. Two years ago, a runner was hit and killed by a drunk driver who fled the scene. This was 3 miles from their house and my dad freaked out and doesn't like me running on gravel either.
I guess no matter where you are, you just can't get too comfy and always keep your eyes open and looking around. Do men think about this?

You must always be aware of your surroundings, not just when running, but going to your car in a parking lot at night, walking up to your ATM, whenever. Some race organizers prohibit ear-phones because they feel you are less aware, and therefore less safe, during the race. It doesn't bother me to run alone in the dark - I don't think much about being assaulted or even mugged, (actually I'm more worried about snakes and gators) but I have been hit by a car twice while biking, so I have learned to be defensive. The main road in my neighborhood has a bike lane, and I often run (facing on-coming traffic, during daylight) in the bike lane because the asphalt is easier on your legs than the concrete sidewalks, and I have been run off the road on several occasions by yahoos who swerve into my lane because they get a kick out of seeing someone diving for the curb, I guess. A friend was injured a few months back while running on a trail (in daylight) when he was hit from behind by a cyclist who was too busy programming his GPS to pay attention to where he was going. There are always hazards, and unfortunately, women are at particular risk for harrassment or attack. You can't live in fear, but you can take steps to make yourself more safe.

Marla64

Ya know, runnerdad-- I have never liked my daughter running with earphones. We don't let her run after dark, but even in the daylight, running with those blasted things in her ears makes me nuts with worry. I need to talk to hubby about this-- hmmmm.

( Call me an old fart, but I hate iPods, mp3 players-- whatever you want to call 'em-- Daddy bought one for daughter over Mommy's objections, and I HATE seeing teens walking around, obvlivious to the world around them-- )

vegasmellie

There was a gentleman on Oprah a few weeks back and they were talking about security. He said something that I can't get out of my mind because it's so true and I don't think most men get it. He said, "Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will KILL them."

I'm not saying this was the situation you were in. Just sucks that some men think it's ok to treat women like that. Even if they mean no harm, it would still scare the bejeesus out of me.

lotusfromthemud

Grrrrr. Grrrrrrr. and did I mention. . . .grrrrr.

My question is. . .is there a situation every in the history of men and women where a woman has turned around and said "oh, you are the man of my dreams. . .how flattering."

It is nothing other than assault. It's not flirting, it's not harassment. . .it's a violent attack. A hate crime.

It makes me furious. (in case you couldn't tell already) Did you get the license plate number? I would call the jerk in. If nothing else, then he'd be "on record" with your police department. If he does it to you, he probably does it to other women.

alf1163

It is sad, upsetting, oh so true unfortunately. I usually work out at home. I love to go outdoors more often but my husband really does not like it. When I go out for a run maybe on a Sat or Sun morning I am very aware of my surroundings. I always look at the drivers straight in the eyes in case they have anything in mind. I admit to using my Ipod but I only put one earbud in and dont have the music loud at all. I also take my cell phone with me and a big hard metal stick. So far so good, knock on wood...the two most frightening things so far have been to run into a coyote (I think it was more afraid than me) and to be "chased" by two pitbulls. Those things made me want to stop being out more often. Take care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :flowerforyou:

jadaigle

PS: Your initial letter was great-- it'd make a great letter to the editor of your local paper. Folks love that stuff.

How awful. Send a letter to your local paper. that i a great suggestion.

lisarae

On my to-do list this week: Buy pepper spray or a T-shirt that advertises that I have a raging STD...

Thanks for everyone's kind words. I really feel support from the MFP group!

LuvinLife

I strongly suggest the pepper spray. It will help with jerks like that and dogs. Sorry to hear that happened. It is sad to have to worry about that stuff just to go out and exercise.

arewethereyet

How about a Tshirt that reads in BIG letters- I CARRY A GUN!

arewethereyet

Oops didnt mean to post that..haha

I go to a walking park to do my 2 mile walk/jog. The first day I was there a group of unemployed 'gentlemen' were sitting in the middle speaking in another language about the woman running and walking.

As I approached they were making kissing noises and saying Eye Mammi, and something about my 'coolo' (butt)

So I stopped dead, smiled, opened my cellular phone, dialed my daughter and said loudly
" Hola, Policia....."

Those idiots jumped on their kids bikes and rode the heck away..

I got more than a few pats on the back when I was stretching at the end.

Just LEAVE US ALONE! It is NOT a compliment! We do NOT want your attention!

arewethereyet

I strongly suggest the pepper spray. It will help with jerks like that and dogs. Sorry to hear that happened. It is sad to have to worry about that stuff just to go out and exercise.

careful with the pepper spray, I hit mine in the car...oops. that hurt!

Marla64

Oops didnt mean to post that..haha

I go to a walking park to do my 2 mile walk/jog. The first day I was there a group of unemployed 'gentlemen' were sitting in the middle speaking in another language about the woman running and walking.

As I approached they were making kissing noises and saying Eye Mammi, and something about my 'coolo' (butt)

So I stopped dead, smiled, opened my cellular phone, dialed my daughter and said loudly
" Hola, Policia....."

Those idiots jumped on their kids bikes and rode the heck away..

I got more than a few pats on the back when I was stretching at the end.

Just LEAVE US ALONE! It is NOT a compliment! We do NOT want your attention!

Ladies-- we are in the presence of greatness-- that was fabulous. :laugh:

arewethereyet

Oops didnt mean to post that..haha

I go to a walking park to do my 2 mile walk/jog. The first day I was there a group of unemployed 'gentlemen' were sitting in the middle speaking in another language about the woman running and walking.

As I approached they were making kissing noises and saying Eye Mammi, and something about my 'coolo' (butt)

So I stopped dead, smiled, opened my cellular phone, dialed my daughter and said loudly
" Hola, Policia....."

Those idiots jumped on their kids bikes and rode the heck away..

I got more than a few pats on the back when I was stretching at the end.

Just LEAVE US ALONE! It is NOT a compliment! We do NOT want your attention!

Ladies-- we are in the presence of greatness-- that was fabulous. :laugh:

Why thank you! I am always thankful to God when he gives me a great idea and it isnt the next day!!

MissTamora

Ugh. This is why I'm afraid to run. Not to mention for some reason my lungs don't respons well to running, even though I can do other kinds of exercise just fine... I'd hate having to run round my area. I just want a treadmill, or my own private forest!

Nich0le

Just a note my fellow runners. Safety is always number one. runners and walkers should ALWAYS move in the opposite direction of traffic, so you can see the car head on. The reason is it gives you the advantage to move out of the way of a potential accident. Moving against the flow of traffic allows you to see the cars as they approach you, not the other way around.

Running in the same direction of traffic leaves you more vulnerable to accidents, jerks and worse, abduction or assault. Also, if you wear headphones you should leave one ear open or turn your volume down so you can hear your surroundings as well (even the jerks, but at least you will hear them and can make adjustments accordingly before they are close enough to hurt you).

Bicycles are the only mode of singular transportion for fitness that should move with the flow of traffic, mainly because most laws insist, but you are also moving at a greater rate of speed. For example, I live in AZ and there are cities here that prohibit cycling in the opposite direction of traffic or riding on the sidewalks because you endanger pedestrians.

Now get out there and be smart and safe!

andtckrtoo

I have to agree with always being aware of your surroundings. That you were totally unaware how long the jerk was following you scares me. I love music when I run, but I keep the music lower and I am always aware of what is going on around me. I'm 5'10 and a "big" girl (man i HATE that phrase, but it's true :ohwell:) so I'm less likely to be a victim than someone smaller, but I'm still aware. It only takes a moment of not paying attention for the unspeakable to happen.