I Just Need to Vent

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  • traceytoo
    traceytoo Posts: 163
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    Im 43, been through practically every kind of situation with men / boyfriends, abusive, neglectful, untrustworthy, undependable etc .... I didn't find 'the one' until I actually got to the point you are at, I was so fed up of investing lots of time online / phoning/txting, etc, etc to meet them and be disappointed, I well and truly gave up looking, enjoyed going out with my friends just for the pure enjoyment of being out with them and not looking for MR Right to be in the crowd or at the bar - it was a huge relief .... and there he was, I was not looking for him, didn't even see him and he was not who I expected lol, but he was there and 10 months later, he proves himself every day to be 1 million times different from all the others ....

    My advice - stop looking .... he's out there, and he'll turn up in his own good time - maybe it'sjust that you are not ready to see him yet :heart: :flowerforyou:
  • Liatush
    Liatush Posts: 627 Member
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    Take a breath, get involved with some local groups/charities/volunteer...whatever can make you get out and meet new people instead of dating. I promise it will help...and oh...please dump the internet dating sites if you use them. It is way to easy for people to lie to you when you have never met them. The chats and email go on, you expect something according to what they have told you and then you get something else. That does not help.

    I agree with Diane. If you go out and meet people, make new friends, it will help you in several ways. 1. you are doing something good for others, or doing something you enjoy so either way, its not a waste of time. 2. You get to know the real person instead of the date mask people put on when trying to impress lol. 3. sometimes, by meeting a new friend, you can broaden your network and they might know of a great guy to set you up with.

    Bottom line - its not you, its them. The only thing you can do to protect yourself is ask plenty of questions early on and listen to your gut.
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
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    B- I'm in the same boat. I haven't sworn off men and I know there are great guys out there....but I'm not looking any longer and all of a sudden it's as if every guy knows I'm single. I am extreamly choosy and I know that I need possibly loosen up my standards a bit but I just cannot seem to find a guy worthy enough to date...and the guys that are wonderful all live so far away. I can't just pack up and move because I am a single mom and have three dogs. I can only hope that it might become serious enough at some point to justify a move or keep hoping I can find a good man that is at least within a hundred mile radius, lol.
    It'll get better...we just have to belive that our 'the one' is out there somewhere...just waiting for us.
  • SweetPandora
    SweetPandora Posts: 660 Member
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    When I was doing the on-line thing, I met alot of creeps, trolls, posers and attached men and when I least expected it I found my boyfriend, we will be celebrating 5 years this June.

    Behind the keyboard it is so easy to be deceitful.

    Best of luck and don't worry it's not you!

    Karen
  • Sumo813
    Sumo813 Posts: 566 Member
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    I think with the Internet, it's a bit easier for people in general to do things they might not otherwise do. I lost faith in true love. I think it (the notion of true love) was something created by hippies that hugged trees. I say chop the damn things down and lets use em to age some bourbon in!

    I've been told I chase the wrong ones. Maybe that's true. And maybe most of us do. I just wish (as I'm sure most people do) that there were signs to know who "the one" was. Like, if we all had some sort of neon symbol on our arm like in TRON Legacy, and only one other person had the same symbol as you, and that was your mate. Of course, that could lead to some interesting things if two of the same sex had the same symbol. lol

    The unfortunate thing is, your trust in people gets broken. And it's very hard to let down your guard for the one who might truly be your soul mate. Hopefully you dont have to weed through too many more to find the right one. :flowerforyou:
  • cortez54
    cortez54 Posts: 7
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    There are lots of jerks out there, men and women. I've found that "trying less" and not bumming out naturally attracts good people into my life. Whether they are romantic relationships or just dear friends, it helps. Been there. Trust comes slowly and sometimes is misplaced. Some people tell you who they want to be for lousy selfish creepy reasons. Some are just misguided. Peace, Cortez54 (Jack)
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
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    I dated a ton of losers too before I met my husband, I mean real losers. Anyway, what I did was learn to NOT TRUST MY JUDGEMENT. I figured out I had horrible taste in guys. If I thought someone was right for me, I ran. It wasn't until I met someone who was the COMPLETE OPPOSITE, (I mean opposite) of all the guys I had dated before that I thought I might be on to something. It's true, the common denominator it all those other relationships was me. I had to figure out why I was letting those jerks have the power. My husband could not be more different than those guys, for one he's nice to me, (and he has a job) and I never would have imagined marrying a cute, geeky, computer artist guy. We are an odd pair and everybody says so when they first see us together, but after 5 minutes with us they know we were made for each other.
  • tammyquinnlmt
    tammyquinnlmt Posts: 680 Member
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    I dated a ton of losers too before I met my husband, I mean real losers. Anyway, what I did was learn to NOT TRUST MY JUDGEMENT. I figured out I had horrible taste in guys. If I thought someone was right for me, I ran. It wasn't until I met someone who was the COMPLETE OPPOSITE, (I mean opposite) of all the guys I had dated before that I thought I might be on to something. It's true, the common denominator it all those other relationships was me. I had to figure out why I was letting those jerks have the power. My husband could not be more different than those guys, for one he's nice to me, (and he has a job) and I never would have imagined marrying a cute, geeky, computer artist guy. We are an odd pair and everybody says so when they first see us together, but after 5 minutes with us they know we were made for each other.

    I have to agree....most of the time...the geeky guys treat you the best!
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
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    I dated a ton of losers too before I met my husband, I mean real losers. Anyway, what I did was learn to NOT TRUST MY JUDGEMENT. I figured out I had horrible taste in guys. If I thought someone was right for me, I ran. It wasn't until I met someone who was the COMPLETE OPPOSITE, (I mean opposite) of all the guys I had dated before that I thought I might be on to something. It's true, the common denominator it all those other relationships was me. I had to figure out why I was letting those jerks have the power. My husband could not be more different than those guys, for one he's nice to me, (and he has a job) and I never would have imagined marrying a cute, geeky, computer artist guy. We are an odd pair and everybody says so when they first see us together, but after 5 minutes with us they know we were made for each other.

    I have to agree....most of the time...the geeky guys treat you the best!

    **Raises Hand** "Don't let the leather jacket and the shades fool ya!! I'm a geek!!"
  • tammyquinnlmt
    tammyquinnlmt Posts: 680 Member
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    Roaddog, You crack me up!
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
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    I dated a ton of losers too before I met my husband, I mean real losers. Anyway, what I did was learn to NOT TRUST MY JUDGEMENT. I figured out I had horrible taste in guys. If I thought someone was right for me, I ran. It wasn't until I met someone who was the COMPLETE OPPOSITE, (I mean opposite) of all the guys I had dated before that I thought I might be on to something. It's true, the common denominator it all those other relationships was me. I had to figure out why I was letting those jerks have the power. My husband could not be more different than those guys, for one he's nice to me, (and he has a job) and I never would have imagined marrying a cute, geeky, computer artist guy. We are an odd pair and everybody says so when they first see us together, but after 5 minutes with us they know we were made for each other.

    I have to agree....most of the time...the geeky guys treat you the best!

    **Raises Hand** "Don't let the leather jacket and the shades fool ya!! I'm a geek!!"

    Oh yeah! I can see right through your disguise!
  • live2smyle
    live2smyle Posts: 592 Member
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    I dated a ton of losers too before I met my husband, I mean real losers. Anyway, what I did was learn to NOT TRUST MY JUDGEMENT. I figured out I had horrible taste in guys. If I thought someone was right for me, I ran. It wasn't until I met someone who was the COMPLETE OPPOSITE, (I mean opposite) of all the guys I had dated before that I thought I might be on to something. It's true, the common denominator it all those other relationships was me. I had to figure out why I was letting those jerks have the power. My husband could not be more different than those guys, for one he's nice to me, (and he has a job) and I never would have imagined marrying a cute, geeky, computer artist guy. We are an odd pair and everybody says so when they first see us together, but after 5 minutes with us they know we were made for each other.
    I soooo agree with this. I LOVE me a hot bad boy whattt....However boyfriend/marriage material they are not :P I met my husband. 3 months later we were married. Our anniversary is July 2nd will be 15yrs. He is the total opposite of anyone I would have ever dated. He treats me like a queen though :) Yep, he may not be Brad Pitt...But I sure feel like Julia Roberts! Good Luck on your search :)
  • jammyone
    jammyone Posts: 80
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    Unfortunately, some men are just a waste of space. I promise you that we're not all a**holes and not just in it for the sex.

    I've also been in your position 3 times last year where girls I was dating had messed me around, one of which I was sure was the sweetest girl I ever met.

    Sorry for your bad experiences, don't let it get to you and as RoadDog said, just carry about your life as normal and do the things you enjoy :-)
  • ♥Faerie♥
    ♥Faerie♥ Posts: 14,053 Member
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    You are beautiful....*Fae hugs for you* :smooched:
  • FitJoani
    FitJoani Posts: 2,173 Member
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    Sweetie I saw Plenty of Fish and thats all it took for me to think its not you its them. I met a couple guys off that site and same story. Cheated. I am far from the one to say don't give up but Look somewhere else those LOSERS I can't emphasize LOSERRRR enough aren't good enough for you. Hang in there:flowerforyou: I am gonna say the cliche phrase...it will happen when you arent looking
  • lilmommy
    lilmommy Posts: 84
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    Awwww... Girl sorry you've had unfortunate luck in the love department. You are beautiful there is nothing wrong with you! These guys that are cheating and have no problem causing others pain will get theirs!!! Keep your head up the right guy will come along!! **BIG HUGS**
  • DarkAngel864
    DarkAngel864 Posts: 229 Member
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    Haha I love some of the responses and love that you all took the time to respond!!!! Big Hugs :smooched:

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