Embarrassed to go to gym

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  • fitoverfifty
    fitoverfifty Posts: 192 Member
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    Just keep going......people shouldn't be looking at how much weight you are lifting!
    In Planet fitness.....the machines are set up so you can't really see how much weight people have on there..
    I guess with free weights...there's no way to hide it.

    You are there to improve your own health and you are doing more than the avarage guy who doesn't go to the gym at all...

    I have never cared for men with huge bulging muscles....maybe it's just me. ......Just enough muscle to help carry groceries in the house is good enough for me :-)
  • 1FITmamaofTWINS
    1FITmamaofTWINS Posts: 185
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    Everyone has to start somewhere....... its respectable when someone actually goes to the gym and works out HARD instead of just walking around doing anything that catches their eye.... weather they are curling 5lbs or 50lbs.

    Have a plan, write it down in a note pad, then go to the gym and follow it

    someday someone else is gonna be in your shoes and YOU are going to be the one making them embarrissed.
  • JuneGem6471
    JuneGem6471 Posts: 1,001 Member
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    How do you think they got that way? By going to the gym! I go, I do the classes, but there are people of all fitness levels. Don't focus on anyone else but you. Chances are they aren't judging you, they may even been thinking, "good for him!" I swear I am the fattest person in all my classes, but everyone is very accepting and nice. The trainer who sold me my membership said people are afraid of the gym because they think its all fit people. They are there, but there are all sorts of levels. And remember, those people at the gym are in shape because they go. And many have been where we are so don't let it discourage you!
  • skinnyme125
    skinnyme125 Posts: 396 Member
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    buy a home gym and get started doing stuff there. THis will build you up some so you wont feel so ashamed and then go back to the gym once you have some strength behind you so that you can build in so many other areas that a home gym can not do for you.
  • ande2994
    ande2994 Posts: 136
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    1. Find a gym that meets your needs -- both the brand of gym (ex. YMCA or Bally's) and the location. I personally found big differences between different YMCA locations. Some seemed very accepting of all shapes, ages and abilities, while others made me feel more uncomfortable.

    2. LOVE that you're focused on ability, not appearance. I was always inspired to see little old ladies at the gym who clearly thought about their bodies in terms of what they were capable of doing, not in terms of what they looked like. If only we could all adopt that mindset!
  • BlueyedMLE
    BlueyedMLE Posts: 9
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    Most people while in the gym are paying attention to what they are doing ... so chances are no one was really watching what you were lifting... and if they were .. they not there to better them selfs. Also have to remember that everyone at one point had to start at square one... congrats on you wanting to get healthier :o) and before you know it you will work up to being stronger and be able to lift more !! You can also keep some hand weights at home or work to help build up your strengh :o) Keep up the good work !!
  • Hinto
    Hinto Posts: 52
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    Hehe, Male ego! I know the feeling, my GF is in much better shape than me, she even teaches aerobics part time. And there is a woman at the gym, who is fiftyish, and she is incredibly buff, doing stuff I can't even think of doing. But I go anyway because if I don't workout I don't have a chance of meeting my calorie goal!

    Just go for it, it will really help with losing some excess pounds.
  • ginaquel
    ginaquel Posts: 6
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    I feel your pain! The best way to try to overcome your 'male ego' is to remember that these people didn't just wake up one morning buff/built. They all started out as someone that needed to get into shape, all you see is the end result...not all the work and perseverance it took to get that point. I found it hard to go and work out next to people with an awesome shape UNTIL I watched one co-worker transform in front of my eyes...we have a fitness facility at my job I would she this young lady in passing almost everyday going to the gym or getting ready for aerobics, or fitness bootcamp, coming in from running the outdoor trail...and now a year later she is down to a healthy weight. I finally started working out and on my first day on the treadmill I see her pumping iron looking great. Of course if I didn't see her working out everyday I would have felt really bad about myself....but I knew how hard she worked and she inspires me.

    The point of the story..well I think you get it :-)
  • CharlieSC
    CharlieSC Posts: 42 Member
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    I am so pleased with the response that I have received. This is awesome site and there are obviously a lot of caring and considerate people that use this. Thank you so much for your comments and support!
  • kbloodworth
    kbloodworth Posts: 107 Member
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    I would work out at home with some smaller weights to get my strength up and then go to the gym. I've done this before when I first started working out again because I was too embarrassed to fight through the brawny men to get to the free weights. Women can sometimes have their own egos to deal with...

    I suffer from a different symptom of the same problem: I am ultra competitive so if I see someone my size or smaller lifting more than me, I usually will try to match them- I've been lifting weights since I was in 8th grade, so even though I got fat, I am still strong. I've found that I can typically lift double what I "think" I should be able to lift, and it's my mind that stops me from doing something, not my body. I'm working on being less competitive, and not paying attention to what other people are doing. Although being competitive provides much motivation, competing with random people at the gym is stupid and an easy way to get hurt- I know this, yet I've done it. :-)

    Good luck with this. Perhaps you can ask that 50 year old woman for some training tips. She'll probably be flattered, and chances are, she was in your shoes at some point, too. And I'll work on taking my own advice, too.
  • kbloodworth
    kbloodworth Posts: 107 Member
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    Hi Charlie,

    Just saw your profile- if you are an ex-athlete, I know this is doubly painful, because you are probably also comparing your current performance to how strong you used to be... But, you'll get back your strength faster than you think. As an ex-athlete you probably have quite a bit of dormant muscle mass, and once you get back in the hang of it the muscle memory will kick in and you'll find your strength double (or triple) in no time. If you can afford a personal trainer, even if it is just one session a month, it might be worth it because they will know the best way to deal with past injuries and how to train you.

    Feel free to add me as a friend!
  • remembertheharddrive
    remembertheharddrive Posts: 133 Member
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    To be honest, I see a lot of men at the gym trying to lift far heavier than they should. Their egos get in the way, they're left heaving up dumbbells using their lower back, form is a total mess, bouncing, elbows flying off sideways. It's a sad, sad sight.

    For anyone who knows what they're doing, seeing someone lifting beyond their capacity with bad form is FAR more embarrassing than to see someone lifting light with good form and knowing their limits.

    Just plug through, be disciplined and stick with the weights you're lifting. Keep your reps low, weights heavy enough to get only through those reps with good form. If you can't get through your set, consider setting up a routine with drop sets to finish your reps.
  • squeaktones
    squeaktones Posts: 195 Member
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    go back to the gym. don't be embarrassed. you are trying. that is more than most people are doing. keep trying eventually you will be able to lift more. don't go out there and try to lift more than you think you can just because someone else is lifting that much, build yourself up gradually. you are allowed to be in that gym because you are there to get fit. heck i don't go to the gym but was so out of shape because of sickness last summer that 80 year old people were passing me up walking across the parking lot at walmart. today i walk a half hour with my boyfriend and had to slow down for him 3 times because i was going too fast. don't get discouraged.
  • CharlieSC
    CharlieSC Posts: 42 Member
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    Thanks for all of the support and advice!! I will go to the gym Monday and take my medicine like a big boy! :happy:
  • fullofhope
    fullofhope Posts: 78 Member
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    Just keep going......people shouldn't be looking at how much weight you are lifting!
    In Planet fitness.....the machines are set up so you can't really see how much weight people have on there..
    I guess with free weights...there's no way to hide it.

    You are there to improve your own health and you are doing more than the avarage guy who doesn't go to the gym at all...

    I have never cared for men with huge bulging muscles....maybe it's just me. ......Just enough muscle to help carry groceries in the house is good enough for me :-)

    OMG I was wondering if anyone was going to mention Planet Fitness! I love that place! They do not have any free weights over 60 pounds. It is a judgement free zone. All shapes and sizes, is there one in your area? Besides, just because they are lifting twice as much as you, doesn't mean that they are lifting it correctly. I see incorrect lifts on a daily basis. My occupation as a physical therapist assistant has educated me on proper lifting techniques. Talk to an employee there and ask what his credentials are. Have him show you how to properly lift and put blinders on and pay attention to only you.
  • CharlieSC
    CharlieSC Posts: 42 Member
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    After all of the great encouragement I received on this post, I ventured off to the gym this morning. I was planning on going Monday but made the decision move forward. The gym was packed as I expected. Honestly, I felt like a marshmallow in a rock quarry. I know it is going to take some time to get comfortable and to focus on the task at hand. The encouragement is greatly appreciated.
  • nisijam5
    nisijam5 Posts: 10,390 Member
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    That's what we have to do...suck it up and move forward...good job
  • nisijam5
    nisijam5 Posts: 10,390 Member
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    That's what we have to do...suck it up and move forward...good job
  • marber
    marber Posts: 118 Member
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    Your only competition in the gym should be yourself.

    I do think though genetics have a lot to do with strength but you can always improve what you have. I didn't realize how strong I was until I went to the gym and people started commenting. I frequently do heavier weights than a lot of the men and I am certainly no body builder.

    When my son was old enough to go to the gym he was the same and can lift serious weights without breaking sweat and once again does not look particularly muscular.

    My only aim is to improve what I can do and lose the rest of this weight.

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