So discouraged

LoveDLady
LoveDLady Posts: 64 Member
edited September 24 in Motivation and Support
I ran into an old friend at the gym today, he's a personal trainer now. Asked how I was doing, catch up chit-chat type stuff. Then he asked me what my weight loss goal was and I told him a want to be 160! I was proud when I told him, but I think he shattered my dream. He told me that 160 was way too much for me, that I should be at like 140. I don't like telling people this, but right now I weigh 184. And if you look at me I don't LOOK all that big, or at least I didn't think so. I was 199 when I started trying to lose weight. I've lost 15 pounds and have been doing great still losing. BUT 140. I'm 5'11"... ok 5'10 and a half I think. But really do I still need to lose 44 pounds? I honestly don't think I can do that. And I'm a fairly positive, upbeat person. So I would like a second opinion. Sadly, I'm technologically challeged so I don't know how to put up a picture on this post but I put on on my profile yesterday. That picture is me at 184. So my question do you think I need to lose 44 more pounds?
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Replies

  • NewyorkG
    NewyorkG Posts: 2
    Don't let someone tell you how much you should weigh. If your happy with that number then that's all that matters! :)
  • ajswriter
    ajswriter Posts: 117 Member
    No way do you need to lose 44 pounds! That's crazy! He was probably hoping you'd feel so bad about yourself that you'd spend $ on his services. :P
  • funkyspunky871
    funkyspunky871 Posts: 1,675 Member
    160 sounds perfectly fine. :) I'm 5'7' and my goal is 130 pounds. I'm too lazy to check the BMI calculator right now, but I'm willing to bet that 140 would be unhealthy. For me... 130 pounds is about in the middle of a healthy BMI range, and 160 is the max.
  • NotSoShabby
    NotSoShabby Posts: 31
    I'm 5ft 4 and 140lbs is my goal weight .......

    I
  • ShellyMacchi
    ShellyMacchi Posts: 975 Member
    hmm my first reaction is, i don't think much of him as a trainer.. so much for recognizing when you need encouragement. Seems he did not even look for more information from you (like your present weight and height etc) to put what you said was your goal into perspective in his own mind before pronouncing that goal too high. sorry...
  • drog2323
    drog2323 Posts: 1,343 Member
    Don't let someone tell you how much you should weigh. If your happy with that number then that's all that matters! :)

    agreed! do what you like and how you feel and want to look. a lot of trainers - IMO - don't have a clue. not sure about this person.
    i don't think you would have to lose 44 lbs and if you are 5"11, - 140 seems LOW.
  • crjugrl
    crjugrl Posts: 172
    Do what makes YOU comfortable. When you reach your goal of 160 and decide you want to go for more, then do it. Until then, don't let anyone tell you how much weight you should lose. Stay positive and take it one step at a time :smile:
  • bjshields
    bjshields Posts: 677 Member
    Okay, LOOKIT. You are the ONLY person (aside from God) who knows your body completely, inside & out. You know how you FEEL, how you feel about yourself, how strong you are, etc. If 160 feels great to you, then forget what the personal trainer thinks. You are also TALL, woman! I used to subscribe to "Oxygen" magazine (which I love) -- every month, they had "success" pictures posted of women who are in phenomenal shape. And I cannot tell you how many times they ran pics of women who were about the same weight and how completely DIFFERENT they looked compared to each other -- because of height, distribution of weight, and how much muscle they carry. We are all different and carry our weight differently. My advice is, keep doing what has been working for you until it no longer works, then shake it up; and YOU decide what your goal is.

    That's my opinion, big mouth and all! Good luck to you, and congrats on your progress so far!:wink:
  • Renise01
    Renise01 Posts: 39 Member
    Hello darlin! My best advice is this - Get healthy :-) Get to a size (not a #) you are comfortable with! The scale can only tell you so much! When you feel fantastic and truly happy with the size you're at the # won't be as important. I don't know if you've ever watched biggest loser but there was one girl a few seasons ago who topped out at 160! And she looked athletic and fit and solid and beautiful but she wanted to be 140 - her body wasn't built to be 140 and healthy! Its just the way things are sometimes! Congratulations on you're success this far!
  • nakami
    nakami Posts: 34 Member
    Don`t be discouraged. For my height "perfect weight" should be 110-149!!! But I have never been so skinny, 165lbs is MY PERFECT weight!!! (I am 5'7) I remember feeling great and sexy when I was 165 and want go back to at least 170 :) If you think you will feel great at 160 lbs so be it :)
  • splashwags
    splashwags Posts: 262 Member
    Don't get bummed nor discouraged. I agree that you should not let others dictate your weight. It should be about how you feel. and I think how your clothes feel. One day at a time. And who knows when you reach your goal you may or may not want to keep going. Keep your eyes on the prize. You are doing great so far!!!!
  • spicegeek
    spicegeek Posts: 325 Member
    Get your body fat measured and make sure it is in a healthy range - then use what you weight at that point as a yard stick to know what your healthy weight is - A personal trainer should know that the scale is just a indication of progress

    I know how you feel - I had 160 as my goal - once I got there - well - yeah I needed to be 140 in all truth - and that was what my trainer had been encouraging me to aim for ... I`m resetting and refocusing on the 140`s now ! - I am shorter than you - but not much - and I`m pretty muscular

    Keep the suggestion in mind - focus on 160 and see how you feel
  • rschmmidt
    rschmmidt Posts: 296
    Don't let someone like that get you down. You go right ahead and set your goal at 160 and go for it! Once you get to 160 - and you will - then you can decide what feels best for your body. Maybe you'll want to lose more.
    Forget him!
  • anniebnannie
    anniebnannie Posts: 85 Member
    geez that seems too thin.... I am 5'6" (almost) and my ideal weight is 135 0 140!! No, I think he has it wrong and you are on your right path. Don't let folks pull you off your game! You are obviously doing it right for you!! Keep it up girl ♥⋱¸¸.•´¯`✫
  • cbirdso
    cbirdso Posts: 465 Member
    You have hit on the major PROBLEM with people using BMI as a set in stone indicator of what someone should weigh. BMI charts may be fairly accurate for about 50%-60% of the population, but it doesn't take into consideration individual differences that are very real. I have noticed that women with larger hip bones always seem to weight more, but we always look like we weigh less. This is just one example. How you feel in conjunction with your mirror / the camera are your best indicators of how much you should weigh.
  • juliapurpletoes
    juliapurpletoes Posts: 951 Member
    I agree with the height AND weight idea....unless you havea teeny - tiny bone structure, I can't see 140 being healthy. Do some more research on bone structure and then figure out what you could/should be

    Maybe because you are young?

    Anyway - I say make YOURSELF happy and do what you think is healthy and fit for you!

    :flowerforyou:
  • twooliver
    twooliver Posts: 450 Member
    Leave it to a man to tell a woman what she should weigh....

    Trust your body to tell you when enough is enough!
  • bethany7687
    bethany7687 Posts: 44
    Dana, you know what 160 lbs looks and feels like. Do you like how you look and feel at 160? What size are you?5'10" 160 lbs I'm guessing thats about a size 10. Get there and see what you think. You decide your goal weight, not your trainer. Bethany
  • shapestocome
    shapestocome Posts: 399 Member
    I agree with everyone that only you know what your perfect weight is for you. But just for curiosity I put your numbers in the BMI scale. For your height to be in the "healthy/normal" weight you should weigh somewhere between 132 to 179. So 160 is a great healthy weight for your height. I think he was just trying to make a buck! :smile:
  • darwintheboxer
    darwintheboxer Posts: 51
    You appear to carry your weight pretty well at 184 lbs. 140 at 5' 11" is considered a healthy BMI, but on the low side. 19.5 out of a range of 18.5-24.9. While 160 lbs, would put you at 22.3 and 155 lbs would put you right smack in the middle of the normal range. I would get to 160 lbs and then see how you feel, determine your body fat % and reevaluate from there.
  • kacka68
    kacka68 Posts: 79 Member
    Wait till you get to 160 before you decide if that's the right weight for you. I'm 5'9 and my goal is 140-ish. Whatever your end goal weight, you've got to be able to maintain it, and it's got to work for you and your lifestyle. Wait and see, but don't get discouraged in the meantime.
  • sonjavon
    sonjavon Posts: 1,019 Member
    First question.... how long has he been a personal trainer? Men notoriously are clueless about what women actually weigh. Someone new to training could really simply just not have a clue what someone your height should weigh.
    Having said that... often I think doctors, nurses, and trainers go by the charts... and they simply don't apply for everyone. We all have different builds.

    FInd the weight that you feel comfortable at - make sure that you are living a healthy lifestyle and tell him to kiss your nicely toned, muscular rump!
  • pinupprosaic
    pinupprosaic Posts: 7
    I'm 5'10" and my goal weight is about 165 which is most definitely in the normal BMI range. Admittedly it's a little further towards the overweight category but the point is whether you're happy with your body. Besides, muscle weighs more than fat so it would be better to be 160 and toned than 140.
  • crystal_sapphire
    crystal_sapphire Posts: 1,205 Member
    wtf that's dumb
  • annapaps
    annapaps Posts: 10 Member
    I think in your pictures you look great and I also never would have guessed your weight is what it is. You want to be healthy, first and foremost, and setting a realistic, reachable goal is exactly what you did when you said 160. Maybe if you reach that weight you'll want to lose even more. It just seem his 140 comment was ignorant, did he even set any plans or offer advice on how to reach it? Don't let it get you down, he probably thought he was helping and didn't realize he was being insensitive. One day at a time :)
  • demetert
    demetert Posts: 1
    Ok, so he thinks you should be 140. I think he is crazy, I used to work out every day for long periods of time and I was skinny. My favorite attire was a bandana for a belt. I am 5'7 and i weighed 130. If you are 3 inches taller then me, you could weigh 160 and look great. Don't let one person make you feel bad about yourself. Be proud that you are losing weight and more proud that your in the gym getting healthy.
  • allornothinggrl
    allornothinggrl Posts: 15
    my goal weight is 160, and I am 5' 8"...I have been down to 150, but my body is comfortable at 160...You are TALL, go with what YOU know!
  • humpalc
    humpalc Posts: 140
    I am only 5'9" and I weighed 140 when I was a bony armed high school girl, playing volleyball and doing farm chores every day - lol - I think your goals are just fine :)
  • Coco_Puff
    Coco_Puff Posts: 823 Member
    Man, what a loser, do what's right for you. Be proud of all the great choices you have made to be a slimmer healthier you. Keep us posted, we're rooting for ya!!!!!
  • rharris86dc
    rharris86dc Posts: 635 Member
    Leave it to a man to tell a woman what she should weigh....

    LOL, that is too true!

    But I also agree with the previous poster who said that the BMI calculations don't work for everyone. I think I'm always going to be right at the top of my "healthy" range or above, because I've always had a large chest, and it doesn't take that into account.
    Sounds like 160 for 5'10/11 should be a good goal to have, though. I'm 5'6 and the top of my range is 150 or 155 (I forget).

    Either way, live life for you. Be happy with your decisions, and don't let some *man* get in the way of what you want! =)
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