Debating over Right vs Wrong Dieting

misshenn78
misshenn78 Posts: 32
edited September 24 in Health and Weight Loss
I have been working hard with MFP for over 65 days. Some days are good, some days aren't so good, but I'm losing, and I'm maintaining, and feeling better than ever!! I have made eating healthier and working out as a priority in my life! I haven't ever really struggled with my weight except for the past 5 years - but, have a sister that has yo-yo'd from fad diet to fad diet, always gaining all of her weight back if not more.

Now that I am paying attention to what I consume - here she goes on a new diet. Starting first with pigging out, and and eating as much as possible for the next 2 days, and then cutting her calories to 500/day - with NO excercise!!! I keep telling her she is an idiot, but then reminds me that I won't be saying that when in 3 weeks she will have lost 30lbs. Seriously?!?!?! And then she swears that you won't gain the fat back. Of course she isn't a very reasonable person to talk to (obvioiusly) but, any idea to help get through to her?? She has friends in her life that encourage this crap, and actually over to pay for trips for her if she plays with her body this way!!! I just don't see the benefits!!! Please help!!! I have tried to push this site on her, and told her how great I feel - but, she likes the easy way out...Please help!

Replies

  • kao708
    kao708 Posts: 813 Member
    The only thing you can do is be an example. Show her that by losing weight slowly with healthy eating and exercise, you can keep the weight off. Eventually she will get tired of her yo yo lifestyle...if not, there isn't anything you can do about it! Stay true to your path and don't let her derail you! Good luck! :bigsmile:
  • Dmonique85
    Dmonique85 Posts: 112
    I think sometimes you just have to let people do what they want & see the results. Don't be too hard on her, but let her go around the mountain another time...slow and steady is the way. That's how we've all gained the weight...some faster than others, but I don't know anyone who has gained 60 in a month. I hope & pray she comes around sooner rather than later...but she has to choose health for herself. Right now it looks like you are being an excellent example. Keep up the good work & try to be supportive of her positive choices...and let her have room for her mistakes. No I told you so's just I'm doing great with this & I am here to help if you decide to do what's best for you. :D
  • Wow! I have known many family memebers like your sister. You are doing good by taking care of yourself and even though your weight loss may be slower than hers, it will be gone for good, as long as you continue. Focus on yourself. Obviously, talking to her is not doing yourself any good, show her.
  • emrogers
    emrogers Posts: 328 Member
    Well some one that cannot be reasoned with in my opinion is not worth having to try and convince otherwise. Obviously she'll gain it all back as she has in the past. I wouldn't say a thing and when you loose your weight and keeping maintaining it then one day she'll come and ask you how you did it. She must be young and able to do something like this at this point in her life. However, she won't always be able to do the same forever. Its sad what a lot of ppl put there bodies through. Glad to hear you're doing it the right and healthy way.
  • taldie01
    taldie01 Posts: 378
    Everyone that Ive heard that has done that diet has gaind all thier weight back when they are done.
  • MakingAChoice
    MakingAChoice Posts: 481 Member
    Unfortunately we all have to make out own choices. I wish I could make my wife and kids watch what they eat, but it is a battle with no winner. I am now doing exactly Kao suggested, be the example. Hopefully if I take the lead others will follow. I have never been a fan of fad diets (even though I tried some), all we can do is show them the results from sensible diet choices. Eventually she will come around after seeing your long term success, have hope and patience. :smile:
  • hpsnickers1
    hpsnickers1 Posts: 2,783 Member
    Some people only care about the number on the scale.

    Explain that she won't be losing fat, she will be losing muscle mass. That will cause her metabolism to slow down and she will stop burning fat altogether. And then if she does get to where she wants to be she will start eating normally again and because she has screwed up her metabolism and lost so much lean muscle mass all that food will be turned to fat by her body and she will gain it all back and then some.

    Research the Minnesota Starvation Diet. It shows what a starvation diet can do to your organs, functions, your brain, etc. Because 500 calories a day is a starvation diet.

    You can print out some of the links from this site: "links in MFP you want to read again and again..." this is in my signature. There is one in there called 700 calories a day and not losing.
  • rockabettyvintage
    rockabettyvintage Posts: 9 Member
    This is a lesson that I have struggled with for a long time. Female friends, boyfriends, family, and now my husband. And not just dieting, but awful life decisions in general.

    You can only do what you can do. You cannot, I repeat, you cannot - make decisions for other people. No matter how much you love them, encourage them, model for them, you can only do what you can do for yourself. Keep living healthy and living for yourself! You are doing an amazing job.

    If your sister comes to you someday for advice, specifically asking about dieting, tell her honestly what has worked for you and share what you believe in. She might see your success and follow! Very likely she won't. But you never know. Otherwise stay out of it. It's never worth losing friendship over unsolicited strife.
  • Angela4Health
    Angela4Health Posts: 1,319 Member
    What your sister is doing is the hCg diet. That's what I tried before coming to MFP. I thought I was going to DIE on that 500 cal diet! That's when I came to MFP and I feel great now. I don't think there is much you can do to convince your sister to try this but just try to give her some advice and encouragement.
  • quanta
    quanta Posts: 28
    You can't change/control anybody but yourself. Find your "happy place" and ignore what bothers you about her.
  • Angela4Health
    Angela4Health Posts: 1,319 Member
    Also, I think you are leading by example already!
  • 3LittleMonkeys
    3LittleMonkeys Posts: 373 Member
    I agree. You set the example. Unfortunately, we know your sister will crash. :(
  • aimstein
    aimstein Posts: 94
    I've lost almost 65 lbs. since having my son....and I've done it the natural, slow, healthy eating combined with excercise way. I must say I am very proud of myself. My sister, on the other hand, went on the same diet as your sister and lost 35 lbs. in six or seven weeks. Contrary to what most people say...not everyone gains it all back. My sister hasn't gained any weight back and she's been off the diet for six months. However, she eats healthy to maintain her current weight. When I found out my sister was going on her diet I was a little jealous she was going to be able to lose her weight so quickly and I was worried about how the diet worked; however, I supported her in whatever she wanted to do because it's her body, she's going to do whatever she wants anyway, and I want her to be happy. To me, it wasn't about debating...wrong way versus right...it was more about supporting my sister because that's what she would do for me. Throughout her weight loss I realized my sister had very much noticed my healthy habits....she calls me for advice about eating and exercise to this day. I'm very proud of her!!! We may not have chosen the same weight loss path, but I found being supportive of her instead of debating right versus wrong (where no one will really win) brought us closer together and eventually on the same path. As much as we love someone and want them to do things the healthier way...people are different and make different choices. If she won't join you on your path try to accept hers and be supportive. Worked for me....just my story. Best wishes!
  • keylareed
    keylareed Posts: 27 Member
    I have done the HCG diet that she is talking about. Some girls at my office were doing it and had success with it, but they felt horrible the whole time. I did it for 9 days and lost 7 lbs. By the time I stopped, I was so weak and cranky my husband BEGGED me to stop. My best friends mother and sister just tried it and both quit by the seventh day because they could not survive on 500 calories either.

    She probably will not listen to you if she is a habitual yo-yo dieter. I will tell you, though, that there were no lasting effects on me. I gained all 7 lbs. back and then some. If she tries it, she might see success at first, but don't let that discourage you. I lost 25 lbs. over the summer doing exactly what we are doing on MFP and I kept it off for 5 months, even through the holidays... Now I have started trying to lose weight again and it is coming off my watching calories and exercising. I guarantee in 3 months you will have lost more lbs. than your sister and you will have kept them off. You will also have a healthier body and be in a much better mood. ;) Then hopefully your sister will jump on your band wagon and join the party here!!
  • Funny - she is the older sister with 3 kids!! Her and I are just very dif. body types - she has struggled all her life, but she chooses to be lazy, and think it will go away in 3 weeks. Oh well. I am just happy her husband cooks for the kids - he is in great shape, and is a great chef! :)
  • Thank you all!!! Great Advice!!
  • spicy618
    spicy618 Posts: 2,114 Member
    I've lost almost 65 lbs. since having my son....and I've done it the natural, slow, healthy eating combined with excercise way. I must say I am very proud of myself. My sister, on the other hand, went on the same diet as your sister and lost 35 lbs. in six or seven weeks. Contrary to what most people say...not everyone gains it all back. My sister hasn't gained any weight back and she's been off the diet for six months. However, she eats healthy to maintain her current weight. When I found out my sister was going on her diet I was a little jealous she was going to be able to lose her weight so quickly and I was worried about how the diet worked; however, I supported her in whatever she wanted to do because it's her body, she's going to do whatever she wants anyway, and I want her to be happy. To me, it wasn't about debating...wrong way versus right...it was more about supporting my sister because that's what she would do for me. Throughout her weight loss I realized my sister had very much noticed my healthy habits....she calls me for advice about eating and exercise to this day. I'm very proud of her!!! We may not have chosen the same weight loss path, but I found being supportive of her instead of debating right versus wrong (where no one will really win) brought us closer together and eventually on the same path. As much as we love someone and want them to do things the healthier way...people are different and make different choices. If she won't join you on your path try to accept hers and be supportive. Worked for me....just my story. Best wishes!

    :flowerforyou:
  • misslizz6958
    misslizz6958 Posts: 124 Member
    I lost 70 pounds doing what your sister does and have kept it off for 2 years. Leave her alone its her body
  • barberella
    barberella Posts: 199
    yeah, what she is doing is crazy!! But you keep setting the example..of someone that is doing it the right way...Just another fad diet it sounds like to only end up right back in the same place. Gotta change your thinking before you change your actions. keep up the good work, girl!
  • Thank you all for the great feedback. As for the 22 year old that lost 70lbs at age 20, congrats to you. However, I've been watching my sister struggle for nearly 20 years, and 3 kids-it gets a lot tougher the older ya get, and I just love her so much, I want to see her live healthy for the next 20 more years. :) Example and support, I guess that's what I've got ahead of me.
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