I give up.

BunnybeeJG
BunnybeeJG Posts: 344 Member
edited September 25 in Motivation and Support
I'm just going to stay fat. i dont care anymore obviously everything i do is wrong to everyone else and even if its working for me its wrong. I give up. I guess it wont be so bad being a cat lady...i'm just tired of crying my eyes can't take it anymore i'm tired of trying and failing ... trying and succeeding and being told I'm wrong and then saying fine. doing it their way and just getting fatter. so maybe i'm justmeant to be unhappy and fat and disgusting.
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Replies

  • vanessa021
    vanessa021 Posts: 6 Member
    Don't give up!!! You are already 8 pounds lighter and on your way...Have faith and know that it doesn't matter what anyone else says, you are doing it for you and you alone! Keep your head up and don't stop. I didn't lose a pound for 3 weeks straight and I'm still going to keep trying for me. Don't give up!!!
  • jon_dub
    jon_dub Posts: 166
    DON"T GIVE UP!! DON'T if people are telling you are doing things wrong stop listening to them get away from the negative ones don't give up. You have beautiful artist and are so nice. You can do it!
  • Kirstie_C26
    Kirstie_C26 Posts: 490 Member
    hey, if uve lost 8 lbs already U R NOT A FAILURE!!! but if u wana be a quitter then go ahead i cant stop u n neither can anyone else here, all we can do is try to aid u/ encourage u

    best wishes
    Kirstie
  • glorod
    glorod Posts: 54 Member
    dont give up!! you can do this...we all have bad days. and we wake up the next day with the choice to either start again or not..YOU CAN DO THIS!! other peoples opinions do NOT matter...its what you feel and what you choose that DOES..get back on the wagon missy!!
  • alina323
    alina323 Posts: 7
    Dear Bunny Bee,
    First off!!! stop doing this for other people and focus on you. WHO CARES IF THEY SAY YOU ARE WRONG!!!!!! if its working for you then by all means necessary do it!!!! take it at YOUR pace and do WHAT YOU want!. As long as your happy with the results. THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING! Do this to feel sexy when you start noticing the difference you will feel sexier! if you don't like working out do minimum cardio and more fun stuff and if you dont think fun stuff can exist in exercise please try belly dancing there's is nothing more that will make a woman feel more sexy then by being able to truly know the advantages of her body!!!! PLEASE cat lady??? you could be sexy lady in atleast 6 months!
  • realrayne10
    realrayne10 Posts: 388 Member
    Don't give up! You can not let other people dictate your journey. Every body is different and has different needs. If you find something that works for you do it.
  • jon_dub
    jon_dub Posts: 166
    I can't quote everyone but listen to all of us DON'T Quit.. YOU are worth it!!
  • Lewzy
    Lewzy Posts: 54 Member
    Give up and those 8lbs will be back with you by this time next week. Quitters never win. I've had many days like you. I've wanted to give up so bad, but just knowing how hard I've worked to get the weight off that I have done so far and seeing other peoples progress on here has just motivated me to keep going. I'm currently at a plateau and haven't lost a pound for almost 3 weeks but do you see me giving up? No! I'm just going to work my butt off to get these last few pounds off. It WILL be worth it in the end.. believe me. Do you want your self-esteem back? Do you want to be able to wear whatever you want and feel comfortable? Do you want to be healthy? Do you want to lead an active, happy lifestyle? I know you do - so just hang in there!
  • Jess21684
    Jess21684 Posts: 202 Member
    seriously?! thats the worst thing ive heard on here.. you CANT treat or talk to yourself like that.. you keep thinking that and telling yourself that, of course you wont succeed or get anywhere :/ you HAFTA think positive & It has to come from within yourself. only YOU can make the changes. talking and thinking like that isnt going to get you anywhere and will keep you right where your at so if you really want a change bad enough, youve gotta stop talking like that, start thinking positive, realize your mistakes and know that nobody is 100% perfect and that you DESERVE this and just move forward but POSITIVELY It hasta come from you, we on mfp can support & try to motivate you but you have to believe that you are worth it and that you can succeed cause you CAN
  • chillijam1
    chillijam1 Posts: 62 Member
    dont give up ,keep positive ,youre doing this for you no one else,youve lost over half a stone upto now ,i wish id lost that ,so keep thinking of those nice summer holidays or you will kick yourself when it comes to putting those nice summer clothes on ,i know because ive been there and still am ,but at least im setting myself a goal for the summer to look good and so should you ,help yourself ,dont do it for other people. :)
  • smota
    smota Posts: 62
    By giving up, the message you're passing is 'Ok, you horrible people, you win, you are stronger than me!'... Is that all there is to you? I don't think so.

    Now turn that sadness into anger and the anger into determination, and get to kick some *kitten*!!
  • I'm not sure what anyone has said to you that's been so horrible, but really, it can't be all that bad.
    If it's about your previous post, I read it. I don't think anyone was being mean, I think they are worried about you.
    I'm having a hard time figuring out if someone has actually said something bad to you or if you are just upset that they were telling you that your eating style seems unhealthy. From what I gathered it seems you would benefit from upping your calorie intake, but if that's going to make you give up and quit then I guess you'll do what you'll do.

    I would like to see you succeed, but if people offering you suggestions that go against what you want to believe is going to push you off the wagon, then maybe you shouldn't ask for suggestions in the first place.

    IF your previous post is unrelated and someone has said something mean to you and I didn't see it, I apologize.
    I just want to figure out the whole story here.
  • you're very beautiful girl! you can't give up and waste that! be strong and patient and go on.
  • BunnybeeJG
    BunnybeeJG Posts: 344 Member
    I'm trying so hard to do this my way... yes. I started my calories really low... I'm trying so hard to slowly up my calories and detox my body of all the **** that i've put it thru ... just to get more energy and to start off fresh .... but people keep telling me i'm stupid. keep telling me that i'm killing myself and need to get mental help... for the first time in my life I felt good. I felt like I was doing something taking control so I could get to a healthy spot ... but .. maybe i'm not.. maybe i should just go back up to 1300 calories and keep gaining and maintaining weight. maybe i'm not meant to be happy. that's how i'm feeling.
  • strandedeyes
    strandedeyes Posts: 392 Member
    I have no idea if you have gotten private messages with those people being rude to you, but most people get concerned over eating so little calories. I will agree and there are a few members out there who start sounding more preachy than constructive but understand everyone is just looking out for each other.

    Here is a blunt honest truth and please understand I am not here to yell at you or anything...

    There are always going to be good days, bad days, and even worse days. One week you may find yourself 3 lbs lighter and the next week you will be 3 lbs heavier...it is how it is. The scale can be a troll. The purpose of changing your diet and exercising isn't just to be on a "diet" but to become a healthier person. To have more energy in your step and to just feel better. With changing, you are going to get support and you are going to get harsh criticism. It is part of life and that is something you are going to have to toughen up about. This isn't about what any of us say but about what you are doing best for your body, both physically and mentally.

    So if you give up, know you are only giving up on yourself. Maybe you aren't ready yet for this journey. When you are, there are many people here who will support you and help you each step of the way, if you allow them. Everyone has a different journey and some people take a lot longer than others. When you can accept that maybe your journey will take longer, it will be a lot easier.

    Again, I apologize if this sounds mean or anything negative, but I just wanted to be upfront and honest. I hope you do not quit and get back on your ride, but that is your decision.
  • BunnybeeJG
    BunnybeeJG Posts: 344 Member
    I'm not sure what anyone has said to you that's been so horrible, but really, it can't be all that bad.
    If it's about your previous post, I read it. I don't think anyone was being mean, I think they are worried about you.
    I'm having a hard time figuring out if someone has actually said something bad to you or if you are just upset that they were telling you that your eating style seems unhealthy. From what I gathered it seems you would benefit from upping your calorie intake, but if that's going to make you give up and quit then I guess you'll do what you'll do.

    I would like to see you succeed, but if people offering you suggestions that go against what you want to believe is going to push you off the wagon, then maybe you shouldn't ask for suggestions in the first place.

    IF your previous post is unrelated and someone has said something mean to you and I didn't see it, I apologize.
    I just want to figure out the whole story here.

    it's not just that post. that post and the comments i got back were actually an eye opener ... that made me realize why I really shouldn't tell people a lot of things ... its not just that though. and I dont think its just about my weight. I think its just everything. I've been sitting here the last three hours just listening to billie holiday records and thinking ... and thinking never seems to provide me with anything good... i've been trying... and slowly upping my calories and maybe it makes no sense to lose weight doing that but its been working for me... i go to the gym 5 days a week i walk almost everywhere ... it doesn't seem to matter this just controls my whole life ... i just figured maybe this time I had some control over something in my life to not make me such a disappointment. to myself mostly... but as a sidenote family too...
  • Eviesmum
    Eviesmum Posts: 270 Member
    I'm trying so hard to do this my way... yes. I started my calories really low... I'm trying so hard to slowly up my calories and detox my body of all the **** that i've put it thru ... just to get more energy and to start off fresh .... but people keep telling me i'm stupid. keep telling me that i'm killing myself and need to get mental help... for the first time in my life I felt good. I felt like I was doing something taking control so I could get to a healthy spot ... but .. maybe i'm not.. maybe i should just go back up to 1300 calories and keep gaining and maintaining weight. maybe i'm not meant to be happy. that's how i'm feeling.

    Hi chick,

    I'm not calorie counting at all, I'm doing a specific eating plan, its working for me. There will always be doubters with every eating plan / exercise regime. You are doing this for you - no-one else - just you. If its people on here that have said stuff then that is not what this website is about, its about supporting people on their weighloss journey (however you want to do it).

    Keep at it. You've lost 8lb which is a fabulous start. We all have days where things look worse than they really are.

    Friend me if you would like some support :flowerforyou:
  • colochel
    colochel Posts: 263 Member
    I do not know you or anything about you. I'm not going to judge you, only offer my opinion. If you are gaining weight off of 1300 calories a day, I would take a look at what type of foods you are eating. I could eat < 1300 calories a day eating only hot pockets, but I will not lose weight that way. Also, what are you doing for exercise?

    There's so many opinions here, and probably less than 1% of us are qualified at ALL to be offering serious advice when it comes to health. If something works for you, do it. If you are knowingly hurting yourself by an inadequate diet, take small steps to give your body the nutrition it needs. It doesn't have to be an overnight thing, that's why we call it a journey. Or you can always copy other people who are succeeding until you find a solution that works best for you.

    If you want something bad enough, you will find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse.

    Best wishes, dear. :)
    Chels
  • Eviesmum
    Eviesmum Posts: 270 Member
    I have no idea if you have gotten private messages with those people being rude to you, but most people get concerned over eating so little calories. I will agree and there are a few members out there who start sounding more preachy than constructive but understand everyone is just looking out for each other.

    Here is a blunt honest truth and please understand I am not here to yell at you or anything...

    There are always going to be good days, bad days, and even worse days. One week you may find yourself 3 lbs lighter and the next week you will be 3 lbs heavier...it is how it is. The scale can be a troll. The purpose of changing your diet and exercising isn't just to be on a "diet" but to become a healthier person. To have more energy in your step and to just feel better. With changing, you are going to get support and you are going to get harsh criticism. It is part of life and that is something you are going to have to toughen up about. This isn't about what any of us say but about what you are doing best for your body, both physically and mentally.

    So if you give up, know you are only giving up on yourself. Maybe you aren't ready yet for this journey. When you are, there are many people here who will support you and help you each step of the way, if you allow them. Everyone has a different journey and some people take a lot longer than others. When you can accept that maybe your journey will take longer, it will be a lot easier.

    Again, I apologize if this sounds mean or anything negative, but I just wanted to be upfront and honest. I hope you do not quit and get back on your ride, but that is your decision.

    Great post
  • I know how you feel, and I can relate. This is something that only you can challenge. With the support and love given by those who believe in you, this is a battle already won. I'm sorry your heart aches right now and I don't even know you but... I believe in you. Weight is like a powerful drug. You have your slip ups, your moments of triumph, times of the worst temptation, but this sounds like something you really want. Reach for it girl!! Much love and hugs sent your way.
  • ninyagwa
    ninyagwa Posts: 341 Member
    I sent you a private message, and it wasn't mean I promise. You sound sad my dear, and I send you my good vibes and e-hugs. Please don't get discouraged by other people. The only way you'll really dissapoint yourself is if you stop trying. The only way to fail is to stop trying (maybe I'll get that tattoed backwards on my forhead for my bad days so I can just look in the mirror). Try to distance yourself from the negative Nancies in your home life, and remember you are you, they are not, you have to live your life, not them, and you're doing your best to improve it.

    Also, I suggest listening to somone who doesn't sing with an epic sadness in her voice. Billie Holiday always makes me this beautiful kind of sad, but sometimes you need someone a little more postive to sing to your soul.

    Add me if you want positive support.
  • BunnybeeJG
    BunnybeeJG Posts: 344 Member
    I do not know you or anything about you. I'm not going to judge you, only offer my opinion. If you are gaining weight off of 1300 calories a day, I would take a look at what type of foods you are eating. I could eat < 1300 calories a day eating only hot pockets, but I will not lose weight that way. Also, what are you doing for exercise?

    There's so many opinions here, and probably less than 1% of us are qualified at ALL to be offering serious advice when it comes to health. If something works for you, do it. If you are knowingly hurting yourself, take small steps to give your body the nutrition it needs to continue. Or you copy other people who are succeeding until you find a solution that works best for you.

    If you want something bad enough, you will find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse.

    Best wishes, dear. :)
    Chels

    I do the archtrainer machine or whatever the heck its called for at least an hour at 100 for the resistance and 10 on the 'ramp' sometimes i go up to 2 hours... I do the stairs.. i do crunches and all that stuff... I've set myself to eating at least three times a day... protein drinks and fiber... and salads i'm addicted to hummus and i've been eating healthy choice stuff sometimes... fruits, veggies, i rarely drink soda ever now ... i make my own dinner most of the time at least 2 times or more a week, i'm only going out to eat for special occassions... and at least 2 times every month just for the heck of it with friends to drink and just have a good time... I haven't gained the weight back... ... i was at about 238 in december... had a doctor tell me that i should consider taking in lower calories and then upping them slowly to help my metabolism. i managed to get down to 225 and then made a concious decision to keep doing what i was doing and take that advice and since then have lost 8 more ... its just really hurtful. I understand that everyones different and everyone is going to tell me that i'm hurting myself but i'm not starving myself.. if i'm hungry i eat i just am finding foods that are lower that fill me enough to not need to eat as much...before i had a tendancy to skip a lot of meals ... eat once a day and make excuses not to go to the gym i slept in a lot or tried to on my days off and just felt so horrible...
  • I know how you feel about not losing the weight. I struggle myself with losing and gaining. But like everyone else says, you've lost 8lb so far, so that's great! One thing that's helping me is my husband and I are both doing it together. We've been sticking to a diet called the "Eat Clean Diet". It's really good, you should take a look at (http://eatcleandiet.com/), there's several books, as well as cook books. Hope this helps! Stay strong!! :happy:
  • BunnybeeJG
    BunnybeeJG Posts: 344 Member
    I know how you feel about not losing the weight. I struggle myself with losing and gaining. But like everyone else says, you've lost 8lb so far, so that's great! One thing that's helping me is my husband and I are both doing it together. We've been sticking to a diet called the "Eat Clean Diet". It's really good, you should take a look at (http://eatcleandiet.com/), there's several books, as well as cook books. Hope this helps! Stay strong!! :happy:

    ya. i work at borders books... heh.
  • strandedeyes
    strandedeyes Posts: 392 Member
    I know how you feel about not losing the weight. I struggle myself with losing and gaining. But like everyone else says, you've lost 8lb so far, so that's great! One thing that's helping me is my husband and I are both doing it together. We've been sticking to a diet called the "Eat Clean Diet". It's really good, you should take a look at (http://eatcleandiet.com/), there's several books, as well as cook books. Hope this helps! Stay strong!! :happy:

    ya. i work at borders books... heh.

    funny story, i worked for borders books for three years....
  • dave4d
    dave4d Posts: 1,155 Member
    I've noticed that not everyone has the same goals, or ways to lose weight. Find what works for you, and stick to it. Some people it is through clean eating, some through smaller portions, some through exercise. It'll all help, but for some people it is not all realistic. Every little bit helps, whether it is just walking more, or working harder it is all exercise. It all helps.
  • BunnybeeJG
    BunnybeeJG Posts: 344 Member
    I know how you feel about not losing the weight. I struggle myself with losing and gaining. But like everyone else says, you've lost 8lb so far, so that's great! One thing that's helping me is my husband and I are both doing it together. We've been sticking to a diet called the "Eat Clean Diet". It's really good, you should take a look at (http://eatcleandiet.com/), there's several books, as well as cook books. Hope this helps! Stay strong!! :happy:

    ya. i work at borders books... heh.

    funny story, i worked for borders books for three years....

    HAHAHAA i've been there 4. hm... ya. its.. could be worse. I love the people i work with and some of my customers. i think i've acquired their bad moods from today tho shiiite.
  • strandedeyes
    strandedeyes Posts: 392 Member
    I know how you feel about not losing the weight. I struggle myself with losing and gaining. But like everyone else says, you've lost 8lb so far, so that's great! One thing that's helping me is my husband and I are both doing it together. We've been sticking to a diet called the "Eat Clean Diet". It's really good, you should take a look at (http://eatcleandiet.com/), there's several books, as well as cook books. Hope this helps! Stay strong!! :happy:

    ya. i work at borders books... heh.

    funny story, i worked for borders books for three years....

    HAHAHAA i've been there 4. hm... ya. its.. could be worse. I love the people i work with and some of my customers. i think i've acquired their bad moods from today tho shiiite.

    do not let those people bring you down...seriously those customers were some of the worst i have ever dealt with.... stupid people seriously
  • sconns21
    sconns21 Posts: 92 Member
    You sound quite unhappy and depressed. Your focus on your weight seems pretty intense and could be what is making you unhappy. You need to stop focussing on your weight loss and get out and do things. Going to the gym can feel like punishment or torture, especially if you are going 5 times per week. You need to find some new hobbies or sports that you can do with friends or in a team. When you're out and about and busy you don't even notice that you're exercising/eating well/losing weight because you're too busy enjoying yourself.

    Be strong and stay optimistic, negative feelings don't do anybody any good they are destructive.

    P.S I know how you feel about people saying you're being unhealthy. I only eat around 1000 calories a day sometimes but if I eat the right things it is filling enough for me. Also when I was a UK size 6 everyone was getting very concerned because I used to be a UK size 10 but I had never felt healthier and more energetic.
  • Kirstie_C26
    Kirstie_C26 Posts: 490 Member
    im sorry ur finding this lifestyle change so difficult just now :( but as everyone here has said we r all here for OUR OWN goals no-one else's and if anyone has tried to bring u down then tell them to go to hell and get off ur case as i commend anyone for trying to better themselves. it took me long enough to finally realise i was worth this and my god i will not let anyone put me off from what i want for myself, and neither shud u! uve come so far already hon so plz keep trying it will be more than worth it in the end

    friend me if u wana ok :)

    best wishes
    Kirstie x
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