Way off topic, but this is upsetting me (dog lovers)

Atlantique
Atlantique Posts: 2,484 Member
edited September 2024 in Chit-Chat
My mom and I have used the same vet for years. I really like this vet. She's caring and competent, which seems to be a rare combination in vets these days.

So here's the problem: The vet can't keep mine and my mom's business separate. When the vet is worried about my mom in relation to her animals ( as she should be-my mom's health is in precipitous decline) she calls me. When my mom visits this vet, they LAUGH ABOUT ME and my animals. (At least they do according to my mom.)

Boundaries? Um, non-existent.

But I'l tell you, I was MUCH more upset when my mom told me this vet laughs at me with her behind my back than I was that the vet called me when things were shaky with my mom's ability to care for her animals. And my mom is REALLY,REALLY upset that I have left that veterinary practice over her thrilling report of them making fun of me. Which lead me to believe she exaggerated the vet's mocking of me because she wanted to hurt me in that conversation, for whatever reason. Not that the vet did something wrong.

But the ship has sailed. I did leave the vet, let her know why, and got all my records.

Am I just being a baby?

My mom is my mom. Yes, she is evil and awful and loves to hurt me, but she's my mom. The vet? I don't have to deal with that from someone who isn't a relative. But I think it's possible, if not likely, that my mom dragged the vet into this conflict with me on a whim and the vet probably didn't do anything wrong.

But, do I want to have a person I depend on have my mom as a client? So I am at risk for ths sort of crap?

GAAAHHH!

Replies

  • skinnymoomoo
    skinnymoomoo Posts: 202 Member
    I would be having stern words with my Mam if she did this sort of thing to me, it's not right at all. Sorry you are having to deal with this sort of crap from your mother. Not really got any advice or words of wisdom xx
  • DisneyAddictRW
    DisneyAddictRW Posts: 800 Member
    family gotta love but they can really drive you nuts sometimes! Sounds like my relationship with my older sister.
  • rherrin5
    rherrin5 Posts: 136 Member
    Eeeekkk! What a situation. Wish I had an answer for ya, but I think what you did was right. Just remove yourself from the situation and go on. The office sounds a little unprofessional and I cant blame you for not being happy. I wish the best and in my opinion, you shouldnt feel like your being a baby. I think I would have done and felt the same way. <hugs>
  • heyitsmekatie
    heyitsmekatie Posts: 544 Member
    sticky situation. if it were me, i'd call or visit the vet and let her/him know what's going on, what your mom has said, how you feel, etc. Not that I'm saying your mom is being untruthful, but I find it hard to believe that a person in a profession that depends so heavily on word-of-mouth referrals would be so, well, unprofessional. If nothing else, it'll keep you from wondering...
  • djthom
    djthom Posts: 651 Member
    Maybe a little separation is a good thing since you don't know who was at fault. The puppy in your profile picture is adorable by the way. Good luck:flowerforyou:
  • MSDRIZZ
    MSDRIZZ Posts: 246
    From your description of this vetas caring I don't think that he or she would do such a thing. Things always sound worse when they're repeated after the fact. I think you may have over reacted a bit. When it comes to our families somehow we convert to habits we established as children. It is very difficult to find a good vet. I think maybe you should go back and tell the vet you over reacted a tad and ask that he or she not discuss you with your mother and vice versa. I just feel like you can't give up someone you trust as much as it seems you have this vet.
  • taiyola
    taiyola Posts: 964 Member
    sticky situation. if it were me, i'd call or visit the vet and let her/him know what's going on, what your mom has said, how you feel, etc. Not that I'm saying your mom is being untruthful, but I find it hard to believe that a person in a profession that depends so heavily on word-of-mouth referrals would be so, well, unprofessional. If nothing else, it'll keep you from wondering...

    I agree.
  • Atlantique
    Atlantique Posts: 2,484 Member
    Thanks, all.

    I do think I overreacted. My mom's reaction to my overreaction(gulilt, tears) seems to support that my mom just wanted to make me feel bad and somehow dragged the vet into this and inadvertently hurt the vet . Mom couldn't give a **** about hurting me, but now that's she's also hurt the vet, she's upset. She's even trying to spin it as a compliment to me in some strange way, so I KNOW she overplayed her hand when she wanted to stick it to me. That's all the admission of guilt I need, really. I think 90% of this was my mom's doing.

    But I'm still stuck. Yes, I could ask the vet to keep mine and my mom's biz totally separate, but God knows if that would stick. She's the best vet I've found in 10 years so I really want to give her a chance!

    So I am still here: GAAAAAH!!
  • glitterballv
    glitterballv Posts: 133 Member
    Ok, I think what it really important here is that as a vet there is client confidentiality with regards to treatment of your animals.
    Now obviously this line is a little less clear when you are talking about family members who are discussing other family members animals and esp if the other family member is the person who brought upu this topic of converstion.
    However, if you tell your vet that you don't want your animals at all mentioned/discussed with your mother than that is it- It will not be disussed, this is a professional conduct thing.
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