My daughter can't swim because I'm fat!

kristinwalker
kristinwalker Posts: 100 Member
edited September 25 in Health and Weight Loss
One of my major motivators to lose weight is to teach my daughter to swim. I don't have a pool at home so I go to a public one in my neighborhood. The past few summers I have felt so icky about my body in a bathing suit that I wouldn't put one on and go swimming with my kids. Because of this, my 3 year old can't swim and hasn't done it much - I started swimming on my own at 8 months and spent most summer days in the pool. Being in Southern California and it being in the 80's today I wish I felt better about my body so I could take her swimming. It pangs my heart to know that she is missing out on so much fun, all because I have food issues and I am lazy. It is not fair to her! I hope that I can lose about 20 lbs quickly (but healthfully) so I can get her out and teach her how to really be a mermaid...not just in the bathtub!

Replies

  • lutzsher
    lutzsher Posts: 1,153 Member
    I put my daugher in swimming lessons almost as soon as she could walk. I always loved to swim so wanted to pass that onto my daugher as well. Figured that I had forgotten as much as I learned so wanted to ensure she had good instruction . . . well that and the fact that I was also paranoid of getting into a bathing suit in public at the time . . . ha ha. . . I feel your pain!
  • halphord
    halphord Posts: 379 Member
    Or, you can just get in the pool with her. To hell with what others think, or what you think. You are doing your daughter good by being in there with her...and it could be fun for you too...swimming is great exercise! I know it's easier said than done...but, be proud of who you are, what you are doing for your health and teach your daughter how to swim at the same time! :)
  • cici1028
    cici1028 Posts: 799 Member
    I was a swimmer in high school so I know how uncomfortable it can be to get in the bathing suit. But they make them in all shapes and sizes for a reason... everyone has a different body. You and your daughter deserve to get in there and make some waves! I understand if this is a motivational thing for you... but at some point you have to get over the body image thing and just dive in. :) Honestly, you'd be surprised at how few people at public pools are looking at you. :)
  • AggieCass09
    AggieCass09 Posts: 1,867 Member
    Or, you can just get in the pool with her. To hell with what others think, or what you think. You are doing your daughter good by being in there with her...and it could be fun for you too...swimming is great exercise! I know it's easier said than done...but, be proud of who you are, what you are doing for your health and teach your daughter how to swim at the same time! :)

    I totally agree...what message are you sending to your daughter by being concerned about your look more so than her fun/learning and not getting in the water? Plus, swimming is great exercise for you while you are trying to lose those last few pounds.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    Halphord echoes my thoughts exactly! To heck with what anyone else thinks! If you really feel self-conscious wear a t-shirt over your swim suit. Think of all of the calories you can burn while playing with your daughter and swimming yourself. Any time you can make exercise fun is just a plus to all of the benefits you'll get from it. Get out there and do it!
  • Celo24
    Celo24 Posts: 566 Member
    Or, you can just get in the pool with her. To hell with what others think, or what you think. You are doing your daughter good by being in there with her...and it could be fun for you too...swimming is great exercise! I know it's easier said than done...but, be proud of who you are, what you are doing for your health and teach your daughter how to swim at the same time! :)

    What she said. You don't necessarily have to get in a swim suit or you can throw a shirt on over it or something. Don't rob your daughter of the opportunity to learn to swim.
  • HOPEful27
    HOPEful27 Posts: 56
    I am obese & I still put on a swimdress :tongue: and get in the pool with my kids. Life is too short to have regrets. Time flies by too quickly when it comes to your kids, before you know it she will be grown! I hope you can find a way to see your beauty no matter what size you are and get out there and teach her to swim. It is also a great way to work out! Good luck
  • MrsFoster18
    MrsFoster18 Posts: 125 Member
    Can I change this to, "I can't swim because I am fat". *sigh* I wish I knew how.
  • Still_Sossy
    Still_Sossy Posts: 868 Member
    Or, you can just get in the pool with her. To hell with what others think, or what you think. You are doing your daughter good by being in there with her...and it could be fun for you too...swimming is great exercise! I know it's easier said than done...but, be proud of who you are, what you are doing for your health and teach your daughter how to swim at the same time! :)

    Yep. What she said! Good luck!
  • tanniew78
    tanniew78 Posts: 602 Member
    I have taken my kids swimming, in a suit, at the Y whenever they have the free admission days,. I am over 300lbs. yes I am freaking out inside and wishing I could die in a corner somewhere, but to see their beautiful faces shine with excitement at being able to go swimming.... THAT makes it worth everything I have to endure. Im just glad I am blind as a bat without my glasses so I cant see the horrified stares. lmbo.

    I hope within a year to be down to a respectable fitness level and be able to take them whenever I want to without qualms. :)
  • halphord
    halphord Posts: 379 Member
    I agree that weating a shirt/shorts over a suit would be more comforting. I know I do that when I go in the water, as I do not feel comfortable in a bathing suit either. But, just think of how special it will be for the both of you...she will love spending that time with you and you will always have those memories...and in the end, it's really all about that. 20 years from now you won't remember how much you weighed,, you'll remember the smile on her face and the fun times you had together. :)

    Just do it. Be brave and confident! :)
  • ahbach2005
    ahbach2005 Posts: 119
    I am the one that goes to swim lessons with my 2 little ones........If your Husband is available get him to do it. I didn't learn to swim until I was 21. Almost drown because of it when I was 5. Fat would not stop me from making sure my 2 peanuts could swim.

    When your in the pool with the kids you wont care...I didn't and I wasn't exactly washboard thin by any stretch of the imagination
  • JillyCornwall
    JillyCornwall Posts: 376 Member
    I have taken my kids swimming, in a suit, at the Y whenever they have the free admission days,. I am over 300lbs. yes I am freaking out inside and wishing I could die in a corner somewhere, but to see their beautiful faces shine with excitement at being able to go swimming.... THAT makes it worth everything I have to endure. Im just glad I am blind as a bat without my glasses so I cant see the horrified stares. lmbo.

    I hope within a year to be down to a respectable fitness level and be able to take them whenever I want to without qualms. :)

    Good for you going swimming, I do too every week..and to be honest I don't think anyone stares ..they are just enjoying themselves...I hated the idea of myself in a cossie at first but now don't give it a thought..who cares what people think.....just have fun..
  • sonjavon
    sonjavon Posts: 1,019 Member
    If you knew how little others thought about you…you wouldn’t worry so much about what others think about you.

    People in general are pretty self involved. Most people could care less what you look like in a bathing suit because they're too worried about what they look like.

    Life is short... and we only get a few precious years with our children when they actually WANT to be with us... don't waste a second of that time because you're afraid of what someone else will think.
  • yellowfairy
    yellowfairy Posts: 207 Member
    I am the one that goes to swim lessons with my 2 little ones........If your Husband is available get him to do it. I didn't learn to swim until I was 21. Almost drown because of it when I was 5. Fat would not stop me from making sure my 2 peanuts could swim.

    When your in the pool with the kids you wont care...I didn't and I wasn't exactly washboard thin by any stretch of the imagination

    I agree with this one. i don't know how to swim, and I am 30 years old! I am afraid of the water because of this-and there is no way that I will not have my kids learning how to swim-no matter what size I am. There are serious limitations when one doesn't know how to swim, not to mention the death hazards. Please think about your daughter and take her out. People aren't looking-and if they are-that is their problem! Just watch her smile as you have fun together-and know she will remember it.
  • perrytyra
    perrytyra Posts: 357 Member
    I got tired of not being able to go to the pool because I didn't like how I looked in a bathing suit. I paid a good amount of money for one that covers pretty well. I still hate how I look in it, but I take my daughter to the community pool(live in a park, so it is free for us) at least 3 days a week in the summer. She usually wants to go every day. She hasn't learned how to swim yet(6 years old) but she takes a life vest or boogie boards and has a load of fun. And I get in the water with her. I am about 190 pounds.
    Get a nice bathing suit. Do whatever you have to, to spend the money on a good one. I got Lands End.

    My husband likes how I look in a bathing suit.
  • brandiyund
    brandiyund Posts: 9 Member
    to hell with that.........when i was fat i went to the pool.....i could care less..... take that child to the pool!!!!!
  • Becky1971
    Becky1971 Posts: 979 Member
    If it was a lake I would wear shorts and tshirt, but almost always I skipped swimming, all the clothes were too heavy and having them tight against my body really bothered me. I always wore baggy clothes. Anyways, I got into a bathing suit last summer for the first time in 20 years it felt fantastic and liberating. My kids are older now, but it was still awesome to swim the lake with them.
  • melsinct
    melsinct Posts: 3,512 Member
    I spend a lot of time in the ocean and lakes every summer. Believe me when I tell you that no matter where you go to swim there will be itty bitty people, morbidly obese people, and everybody in between. If you're that self conscious wear some board shorts and a tshirt, but don't deny your kid the opportunity to learn to swim and play in the water.
  • corpus_validum
    corpus_validum Posts: 292 Member
    I don't have a pool at home so I go to a public one in my neighborhood.

    Are you more self-conscious because it's a pool in your neighborhood? Where you might run into other people you know?

    Depending on where you are in So Cal, it may be worthwhile to drive to and join a YMCA, city community pool or water park where there are lifeguards on duty. Google, then phone someone there, to see if their pool/water area can accommodate a toddler without swimming experience: a large shallow end that's no deeper than 2.5 feet for a 3 year old. What would be even better is if they had a separate toddler pool (generally 1 ft deep) that they can "crawl" in as an initiation. That way, you wouldn't have to necessarily wear a bathing suit until you felt comfortable.

    Since your daughter isn't school age yet, you could take her during times when there's mostly senior citizens in the pool practicing their aqua aerobics. If I was self-conscious about my appearance, I'd definitely feel more comfortable in the pool with them around than any other demographic.

    Anyways, just trying to be helpful. Just don't EVER take them to the beach/ocean for any intro to swimming. There's hardly any protected coves in So Cal that wouldn't subject them to currents.
  • sleight119
    sleight119 Posts: 125
    The Girl you just called fat, has been starving herself and has lost over 30lbs. The Boy you just called stupid, has a learning disability and studies over 4hrs a night. The Girl you just called ugly, spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her.The Boy you just tripped, is abused enough at home. There's a lot more to people than you think. this was sent to me by a freind of mine Just remember it dont matter what people think about you because A HUNDERD YEARS FROM NOW IT WILL NOT MATTER HOW MUCH MONEY YOU HAD THE SORT OF HOUSE YOU LIVED IN THE KIND OF CAR YOU DROVE OR THE WAY YOU LOOKED BUT THE WORLD MAY BE BETTER BECAUSE YOU WERE INPORTANT TO A CHILD so dont let the way you see your self stop the way your kids see you because all they see in the best mom in the world
  • SierraBurns87
    SierraBurns87 Posts: 8 Member
    I understand being self conscious but I come from the kids' side. My mom hardly ever took me or my sister swimming because she was overweight. We didn't understand why because she was beautiful to us. Just remember that your kids look at you different than strangers and who's opinion do you respect more? Besides... the few amount of people that actually judge others at the pool have their own body/self esteem issues! Get in that water! You might just forget how you feel in the swimsuit when you feel how good that water is! :)
  • Candiceg13
    Candiceg13 Posts: 218
    OP - I have not gone in a swimming pool for 10yrs for the same reasons as u, but this past summer I realized how crappy it was that I couldn't take my kids swimming... I mean I did and they wore floaty wings and the then 3yo wore a life vest and her older brother (then 9) had to swim with her..... this year I refuse to do that! I am making decsions based on my fam, not my insecurities! I am losing weight, but will still wear shorts when I go in! The top isn't a big deal......

    All 4 of my kids will swim with their mom this summer!
  • Rosie958r
    Rosie958r Posts: 160 Member
    It's great that you want to teach your daughter how to swim!
    I think it is essential for any child to learn how to swim.
    May save their life one day.
    maybe paying for lessons is an option?
    Good luck and i'm sure you already look great in swimmers
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