Coworkers...seriously?

UNCTarHeelGirl
UNCTarHeelGirl Posts: 13
edited September 25 in Motivation and Support
Hey! I've read some postings from people who have had less-than-supportive experiences with friends, family, or coworkers, and I'm always shocked by some of the inappropriate comments people think they're entitled to say to someone. I always wonder, "Where do you find these people who say things to make others feel uncomfortable?" This morning, I realized they're in my own office.

I just started my weight loss work on Monday. I've been eating well, playing soccer, going on long walks with my dog, and last night, I jogged 4 miles in under 36 minutes, which is pretty good for me. I've lost 3 lbs. so far and I'm so excited...or at least, I was.

I'm very sensitive about my weight and others watching me eat, or rather, what I eat. It's silly to be self-conscious about it, but I'm just not confident yet. This morning, a coworker walked over to my desk and saw my breakfast; "Oh my God, is that 3 bagels?!"

I just blinked at her..."I'm sorry?...Um...well, they're mini bagels."

She continued to stare at my food as if it was some grotesque piece of artwork. "Oh, they're mini bagels. I didn't see that. (continues staring)..oh, well, I guess that's ok. That means you don't have to eat anything until lunch."

I was dumbfounded and responded, "Well, they're only 330 calories total." As my coworker smiled and went about her day, I plopped down in my seat, completely dejected, and immediately thought about what a glutton I am for eating a 330 cal. breakfast. Seriously?! Who does that? I'd never have the audacity to comment on what someone else is eating. I know it's just a little thing, but isn't it amazing how easily self-perception can be affected by someone's offhand comment? I'm getting over it now as I chomp on my banana and Lean Cuisine, but I just wanted to give a shoutout to others who have been a little derailed by someone else's insensitivity. I think many of us have been there and would tell you to keep going, you're doing great, and when you reach your goal, you're going to look and feel fabulous...as you enjoy a large slice of celebratory cheesecake. :tongue:

Replies

  • kwardklinck
    kwardklinck Posts: 1,601
    You just keep going hun. I know people look at my food and wonder how I lose while eating so much. We know the trick my friend! :)
  • That_Girl
    That_Girl Posts: 1,324 Member
    I would have just told her to stop staring at my food and to go away.

    I can't stand people commenting on ANYTHING I eat, even if it's to say it looks good. Go.Away.

    Screw her. lol 330 calories for breakfast is a GOOD thing. I usually range in there...or more. It's the most important meal of the day anyway.

    Eat a really big lunch (within your goals) and then prove to her that you CAN EAT and still lose weight.

    Forget what she said. She's dumb.
  • poisongirl6485
    poisongirl6485 Posts: 1,487 Member
    Yeah I don't deal well with people like that. I probably would have told her to mind her own damn business.
  • Smokenmirrors
    Smokenmirrors Posts: 71 Member
    People are insensitive meatheads sometimes. You should have looked at her and asked her if she ever considered dying those gray hairs...

    Stick to it. MFP is always here...
  • SabrinaJL
    SabrinaJL Posts: 1,579 Member
    I don't have the inappropriate commenters, I have the saboteurs. A friend and I go out to lunch 2-3 times a month. We always go to Applebee's. I've started having the under 550 cal meals and water. We NEVER order appetizers or dessert. We went to lunch the first day I had started working out. I could barely move. So what does she suggest? Going for ice cream afterward. Edited to add that we're actually going to lunch in an hour. We'll see if she suggests ice cream again.

    My kid will have things like Coke and Toaster Strudel and offer some to me.
  • emiliewright
    emiliewright Posts: 148 Member
    Punch her in the face....I would.
  • kbray003
    kbray003 Posts: 52
    It always irritates me when people make comments on what I'm eating. Even when I weighed 120 lbs, it got on my nerves. My goal right now is to lose 25 lbs and my coworkers aren't jerks about it, but the comments still aggrevate me. For example, eveyone wanted to go eat chinese food one day, but I already had my lunch planned for the day so I told them I wouldn't be joining them (it wasn't a special occasion or anything). This one guy asked "So, what are you going to stay here and eat your rabbit food?" It didn't have a condensending tone but still... My response was sinply "yep".

    Don't let these people get to you. They will never go away so just keep your focus!! You're doing great!!
  • pkgirrl
    pkgirrl Posts: 587
    Be happy about it. She's probably starving herself in ATTEMPT to accomplish what you're doing. Once everyone starts to see results, they're all going to be your best friends and want to know exactly what you're doing. Just hang in there, it's your life and you're in control =D
  • hroush
    hroush Posts: 2,073 Member
    You should have said, "Hmm, 320 calories does seem a little much, maybe I'll shove one of these up your tail pipe. " :laugh:

    You can't let these people bother you, they don't know you. They aren't your dietician. It may be blunt, but you may have to learn to say (or something similar), "when I want your ideas on how to lose weight, I'll ask."

    It was only last week with a change in my breakfast I was consuming over 500 cal. :noway: I have recently changed it again (cut it down), so now it's only 350 ish.
  • MelissaL582
    MelissaL582 Posts: 1,422 Member
    Aww...I'm sorry. People like that..make me sick! Every morning I eat around 400 calories and it does keep me full until lunch..but to say that to someone. Ugh... It's hard enough losing the weight and to heard comments like that from other people, just makes you want to slap them in the face!
  • SabrinaJL
    SabrinaJL Posts: 1,579 Member
    pkgirrl, I LOVE your sig. That quote about being thin annoys me. I always think, "Hmmm, I've seen some really thin junkies and cancer patients. I bet they don't feel very good."
  • Jaessa
    Jaessa Posts: 122 Member
    I, along with many others, have had to suffer rude and insensitive comments from others on not only my weight, but anything else some people feel they have the right to say something about. It still hurts my feelings, but rather than go home and stew about it, I look them in the eye and say, "What ever would possess you to say something so hurtful?" It usually shuts them up in a hurry.
  • lurtle
    lurtle Posts: 9
    I just LOVE the diet police.

    I recently had a co-worker give me a lecture on healthy eating, as he pointed out that I could "lose at least 100 pounds".
    I couldn't believe that ANYONE would have the nerve to stand there, someone that I don't even know that well, or ever open up to about anything, and he says that to me.
    For the record, I do need to lose a large amount of weight, but he said it almost as if I wasn't aware that I was overweight.
    Every time I eat something, this man goes into his spiel about why I shouldn't be eating it.
    I've started just walking away in the middle of his yapping.
    What's really sad is that my reaction is to NOT eat healthy in front of him, because I don't want him thinking that he is the reason I'm eating healthy food.

    I honestly don't think that these people are giving this advice to help, I believe they are seeing their own flaws and they don't want you to succeed. It's a form of sabotage.

    I won't even go into the issues with my mother and eating healthy!
  • mikeylikesit1177
    mikeylikesit1177 Posts: 79
    screw her. sounds like she is jealous to me. use that as motivation and shove it down her throat
  • jojowink
    jojowink Posts: 189 Member
    just keep working hard...lose that weight and that'll shut her up!! People are strange- everyone is wired differently...

    take a deep breathe and keep on keeping on:)
  • Jenn728
    Jenn728 Posts: 683 Member
    Keep doing what you're doing!
  • MeaganAnn84
    MeaganAnn84 Posts: 95
    I cannot stand it when someone calls a salad "rabbit food"...ugh! I love salads with tons of veggies on them. I've always loved salads. Rabbit food, I think not. Go home and eat your really-bad-for-you whatever. I'm good here. With my rabbit food.
  • Newmammaluv
    Newmammaluv Posts: 379 Member
    Punch her in the face....I would.

    LOL this made me laugh!! Totally what my hubby would suggest!
  • Serenifly
    Serenifly Posts: 669 Member
    My name is danielle - and I work in a shop full of 12 men . ... My husband included, he calls me Danielleeee (Danielly) Then one calls me Smelly Danielly ... and one called me Jelly-Belly Danielly

    :(

    I hear ya sister. I told him to f*** off ... but I work in a shop, so it's totally ok.

    Hard not to get down some - But what you could have said (hindsight is SO 20/20) "I've lost three lbs this week, me and my mini bagles sleep fine at night than you'

    BEEEYOTCH!
  • tawny7
    tawny7 Posts: 276 Member
    Some people are just jealous. Try not to let her words upset you, though I know how hard that is to do!
    330 calories is NOT a lot for any meal so don't worry about it!!

    It amazes me at times what people think is acceptable to say!!!

    I constantly have coworkers asking me what size I now wear....just when did that become anyone else's business???? lol!!!

    Take care of yourself!!
  • IdaBetances
    IdaBetances Posts: 79 Member
    Ohhh I would have been fired if someone made a comment like that to me :noway: ....Next time she makes a silly comment like that, send her this link...(I posted it a few days ago)...Breakfast is the most import meal of the day..Who cares if you eat 500 cal in the morning. Keep smiling! :wink:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/193577-healthy-big-breakfasts
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
    I would have asked her to show me her nutritionist certification.
  • Stefani74
    Stefani74 Posts: 448 Member
    GRRRR!!! I hate when people analyze what I eat! My boss will come to my desk, stand there and stare at my food, snarl up his nose and say "What in the world is that?" in a really condescending voice. I really want to tell him it's NONE OF HIS FREAKIN BUSINESS!! And to get out of my office and go eat his greasy, fried, artery clogging fast food and leave me alone!!

    It would be different if he was really interested in what I was eating, but it's more of a "ewww that's nasty" kind of thing. So annoying!
  • TomRiddleIsDead
    TomRiddleIsDead Posts: 18 Member
    I hate when people have the nerve to say that! "I didn't notice they were mini", yeah, right! Obviously, these people are not there to support you so you shouldn't listen to anything they say.

    I'm a vegetarian, so I also constantly have people watching me eat. And I HATE IT. :explode:

    It's not necessarily the caloric value (though that's definitely important) it's about the overall nutritional value of what you eat, too. Keep up the good work, and keep on ignoring people like that!
  • AngieMMc
    AngieMMc Posts: 152 Member
    LOLOLOL @ hroush That was pretty funny!!!

    I am like lots of others who have commented here. I don’t like people making comments about what I am eating, whether it is good or bad…. and in return, I don’t make comments about other people’s food either. This is why I go into my office and close the door when I eat lunch now. Of course i still have to deal wwith my children looking at my food and saying "ewwwwww" but at least I can get on to them for it :smile:

    I am really sorry she said that to you and made you feel that way…..I am afraid I would be feeling the very same way you are right now, but I also think that you don’t have to justify anything at all to her and if she has a problem with the way you eat, she should stay away until you are finished. You might even consider telling her the truth about how she made you feel when she said that…….MAYBE, just MAYBE she didn’t realize she sounded like a total hag but even if she did realize it…..at least if you said something she’d know she wasn’t going to get away with it without you addressing her rudeness.
  • Enigmatica
    Enigmatica Posts: 879 Member
    I have no patience with foolishness like that anymore. There was an idiot in my neighborhood a few years ago who called me a fat *kitten*. I told him, "Well, I can lose the fat but you'll never grow a brain."

    He no longer recognizes me, lol.
  • ShelleyBowman
    ShelleyBowman Posts: 54 Member
    Just remember who YOU are and do your best to not give anyone power of you... this may be kinda silly but heard this song on Glee the other night and I thought it very appropriate for all of those who look down their noses at us... even those close to us do it without even realizing it.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebVkJ4HtZVY
  • snookemz
    snookemz Posts: 82
    So you must work with my mother!
    Seriously - worst food police EVER!!! She's been on some sort of diet or another since I was born - even the infamous cabbage soup diet that stinks up the whole house.
    Hell she and the pedi put me on my first diet at 6. 20 years later I'm STILL FAT! and still having my every bite analyzed by this woman, you'd think by now she'd get that it hinders more than helps.
    I've had her so much as take food out of my hand before. Cause that doesn't make an emotional person eat or anything...

    She's been ok lately, but there have been SEVERAL times where I've had to tell her "You cannot be my food police, I need to police myself. Everytime you judge me and talk to me in a condescending way about my choices it drives me right to the fridge. You have to stop if you want me to get better"
    she always says "I didn't say it that way, you just TOOK it that way! You're being ridiculous!" but I think after so many many talks its starting to click. She's been much better in the last month.

    I really suggest you confront your coworker on her behavior. She may have no clue its wrong to do that because maybe no one's told her how horrible that makes people feel. If nothing more, she will see that you're not some pushover that she can bully.
  • plc765
    plc765 Posts: 71 Member
    I used to deal with the same thing on a daily basis at work. There is only one other co-worker who recently started on WW and all the others eat fast food everyday. Every time I heat up my food, or come out the kitchen with it, someone says "Oh, what's that,? it smells funny." I used to just answer them and go eat, but I would be so annoyed that someone had to say something about my food all the time. So one day, one co-worker said something smelled "funny." I was eating a whole grain tortilla with egg whites mind you.....so I finally said "You know, it's funny that you always comment on my HEALTHY food that I eat, though I never comment on your fast food from McDonalds everyday that makes this office smell like onions." After that, no more comments. Sometimes, it just takes sticking up for yourself for someone to stop being rude. It took me awhile to realize that too, but I got tired of the comments all the time. There is always going to be someone that is trying to bring you down, probably because they lack the motivation and willpower that you have to take care of yourself. Stay positive!
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