If someone stays under in calories.. but eats bad..

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Arynamber
Arynamber Posts: 162 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
do you cheer them on or say something? I actually look at all the logs before I comment. Yes, I know everyone has bad days.. I know I DO. lol.. but if you see someone always eating fast food, hamburger helper, chips and ice cream.. yet stay under calories, then what?.. I have pretty much just been leaving it alone.. but then I begin to wonder, do they really think they are eating healthy? They could so soooo much better! Should I suggest something like "way to go on calories but you could of done with out the candybar?" lol that just sounds *****y. I know I want to be held accountable so I hope my friends would give me tough love. What are you thoughts?
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Replies

  • Arynamber
    Arynamber Posts: 162 Member
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    and they wiped out the word I C K Y. funny
  • rellimbob2
    rellimbob2 Posts: 3
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    I think it depends on what type of info they are looking for from you.

    If they want support about calorie intake and if they are below then they are doing it right.

    Is it the HEALTHIEST way, nope. But calories are calories regardless of where they come from. Recently I read about a guy who only ate twinkies to prove this point and he still lost weight lol Amazing, since that would never happen to me ;)

    anyways, if someone isn't asking me for my opinion about it, I wouldn't tell them.
  • remembertheharddrive
    remembertheharddrive Posts: 133 Member
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    I'd wait until they have any kinds of questions or problems with the weight loss itself. Then bring up the quality of the food they're eating as a possible source of trouble.
  • crazyeaCHANGED
    crazyeaCHANGED Posts: 84
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    My best friend does this. Mc donalds for breakfast, whopper wednesdays, pizza. He stays under, but I couldnt take it anymore. Friends for 20 years, I had to take him off my list. I dont have the will power to look at that all the time. LOL.

    BTW, calorie intake aside, who cares how skinny you are if you die by the age of 40 from a heart attack??
  • christy_frank
    christy_frank Posts: 680 Member
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    Before I comment on someone's diary I look at it....if I see it is nothing but junk I will not compliment them on them being under their goal. If I see SOME crap in their diary I do not worry about it (look at mine...I have a little something 'bad' every day) but if they are eating fast food and junk on a regular basis (which I don't have any friends who do) I would call them out on it. But...then again that is who I am.
  • kelsully
    kelsully Posts: 1,008 Member
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    I would love to see my mom lose significant weight so being under eating crap but her sticking with it is most important right now...maybe in the future if her health concerns have not been eliminated by decreased weight alone I would comment on nutrtrition...I think it depends on where the person is in this journey and what their goals are...also if they seem to be working on misinformation etc...I am dying to clue a lady I know in that her calories burned estimations are WRONG but she won't listen so I leave it be.
  • MochaMixAZ
    MochaMixAZ Posts: 844 Member
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    Great question.

    I opt to not say anything - not a good job, nor a comment. I *don't* consider a day under cals but loaded with sugar, refined foods, and lacking in nutrients a "good job." This also goes for the people that eat 1 meal all day, skip breakfast, dont' exercise, etc. But those are just my opinions, so I opt to do what my mother taught me: If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

    An exception to that is when people ask for feedback. Or perhaps post that they don't know why they aren't losing weight when they are under their suggested calories. In that case, I will add a thought or 2.

    For me, it's about a true lifestyle modification... eating healthfully more often than not... but I don't want to impose my views on others.

    So that was a long way of saying - I don't say anything. :-)
  • SoldierDad
    SoldierDad Posts: 1,602
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    It really depends on the person. I try to always be encouraging and uplifting. Losing weight and eating healthy is very hard for most of us. Unless someone really wants me to critique their day i just lift them up. I think most ppl are very hard on themselves without someone adding to it (that wasn't asked to).
  • jodie_t
    jodie_t Posts: 287 Member
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    I agree. They'll know the basics about good food, no one is so stupid as to think eating junk all day is good even if it is within the day's cals allowance.
  • mexiana
    mexiana Posts: 77 Member
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    I WISH someone would tell me! It's not all the time, but when I do indulge in a cupcake (for my child's birthday!) or pizza out one night, I'd rather see a "Be careful with that sodium!" than a "GREAT JOB!" Personally though, I'm only looking at people's diary's if they are asking for help with them, or if I know the person in real life and KNOW they want 'that' kind of help I will point out things they could be doing differently to help them start losing again. If they aren't asking and you don't know them, you MIGHT be asking for trouble even though you are VERY well meaning, y'know?

    Feel free to friend me, I WANT that kind of help! <3
  • alison2429
    alison2429 Posts: 236 Member
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    Before I comment on someone's diary I look at it....if I see it is nothing but junk I will not compliment them on them being under their goal. If I see SOME crap in their diary I do not worry about it (look at mine...I have a little something 'bad' every day) but if they are eating fast food and junk on a regular basis (which I don't have any friends who do) I would call them out on it. But...then again that is who I am.

    Me too!
  • alliecore
    alliecore Posts: 446 Member
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    I think it depends on what type of info they are looking for from you.

    If they want support about calorie intake and if they are below then they are doing it right.

    Is it the HEALTHIEST way, nope. But calories are calories regardless of where they come from. Recently I read about a guy who only ate twinkies to prove this point and he still lost weight lol Amazing, since that would never happen to me ;)

    anyways, if someone isn't asking me for my opinion about it, I wouldn't tell them.
    I tend to agree with this. Giving unsolicited advice can often just discourage someone who is trying to make positive changes.

    We all have to start somewhere; and for a person who previously ate massive amounts of unhealthy calories, it is a HUGE step for them to now be eating within a healthy CALORIE range. Learning to eat healthy is a process, and one that is often learned best by observing and asking questions, rather than having information forced on you unasked.

    I do TOTALLY know where you are coming from, because I sometimes feel the same way when looking at food journals. But we are all at different stages, and above all this site is about encouragement. I sure don't want to be guilty of discouraging someone who is in the beginning stages of making a lifestyle change.
  • redxmasqueen
    redxmasqueen Posts: 81
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    I would tell them. Calories may be calories but they are still at risk for high blood pressurs and diabetes by taking in all that sodium and sugar. Instead of just telling them what they are doing wrong, offer healthy alternatives to what they are currently eating. Maybe they are unaware of all the healthy choices that are available today. They may be eat ing they way they are because of money or time constraints. There are healthy solutions to all of these issues. Being healthy is about WAY more than maintaining a healthy weight.

    Good Luck!
    Sue
  • ShellyMacchi
    ShellyMacchi Posts: 975 Member
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    i find there is little i can comment on in good conscience in such a case, as otherwise i start to sound preachy... but neither am i prepared to say 'good job on calorie counting' cause it makes me feel like i am lying as i DON'T think they are doing a good job by using that approach.
    So i basically say nothing.

    i have this situation with someone i do care about and who is a dear friend, so i warned them 'why' i was not saying much *S* Luckily they understood and did not hate me because of it.
  • Arynamber
    Arynamber Posts: 162 Member
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    Thanks.. just an FYI Im not talking about just a friend on here.. a real life friend. She has been attempting to lose for so long with such little results :( Makes my heart sad
  • mlemonroe2
    mlemonroe2 Posts: 603
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    Maybe you could post on your wall something like "I want to let everyone know out there just because you are under calories dosn't mean you are doing good for your body. You should also watch your sodium intake, fat, sat. fat and so on." Maybe that way, you are letting them know they are still being unhealthy but you are not directing it at them?
  • mlemonroe2
    mlemonroe2 Posts: 603
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    ok- i just read about it isn't a friend on here. so my last post wont work :tongue: in that case i would just tell them. since you know them personaly it shouldn't come off bad.
  • suzycreamcheese
    suzycreamcheese Posts: 1,766 Member
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    no, if i think theyre eating badly, i just dont say anything. I dont really judge too much, because we all have our off days, and i dont always have the healthiest habits or get my 5 a day etc, and i certainly dont eat clean or have much desire to, but i dont cheer someone on for having a terrible diet or for starving themselves if theyre way way under
  • backinthenines
    backinthenines Posts: 1,083 Member
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    I know this sounds harsh, but I want people around that are inspiring and motivating, not people who eat junk and don't care about their health & fitness (regardless of if they are under whatever their allocation is doesn't matter). I would probably de-friend them.

    All the friends I communicate with regularly are of that variety. Of course everyone has the odd bad day but generally they are people who have made a committment to their health & wellbeing.
  • rebrafe
    rebrafe Posts: 64
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    Hmmmm - that's a tough question, but I will tell you that when I am not getting in enough calories I have a friend on here that always encourages me to get more food in and I appreciate his input about my diet on all levels (he's become a great friend on here-so I respect his input) I also had DQ last night with my boys ( a St.Patty's Day treat) and I wouldn't appreciate somebody being harsh with me about it, since it is a rare occasion thing and I am my own worst critic. So - perhaps if it is somebody who you feel comfortable with and you know they are trying to eat better (healthier) you should say something like you mentioned in your post. I would like feedback - but I know some people really don't.

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