Will somone make me laugh

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KristenAnn711
KristenAnn711 Posts: 783
in Chit-Chat
Pleeeeaaase! :indifferent:
«13

Replies

  • Brucifer55
    Brucifer55 Posts: 37
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    A horse walked into a bar...and the bartender said, "Hey pal, why the long face?"
  • KristenAnn711
    KristenAnn711 Posts: 783
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    A horse walked into a bar...and the bartender said, "Hey pal, why the long face?"

    People used to make fun of me in pictures and say that. Apparently I have a long face? Or at least in pictures. Sooo that just makes me sad. :cry: Thanks for trying.
  • SarahRuth♥
    SarahRuth♥ Posts: 609 Member
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    Three men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.
  • Newfiedan
    Newfiedan Posts: 1,517 Member
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    see profile pic, that should take care of it, "fear the fuzzy"
  • gameovergt
    gameovergt Posts: 502
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    Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
    really pissed.

    She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
    driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

    The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
    up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
    gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

    Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
    the box back in the house.

    She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

    Bob has been missing since Friday.
  • MassiveDelta
    MassiveDelta Posts: 3,311 Member
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    A pirate walks into a bar, and the barkeep says "Excuse me, cap'n, but did you know that you've got your ship's wheel stuck in your pantaloons?"

    "Aye," says the pirate, "It's drivin' me nuts! Aaargh!"
  • verapamil
    verapamil Posts: 94
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    http://damnyouautocorrect.com/category/best-of-dyac/

    Always makes me laugh (usually uncontrollably till my boyfriend looks at me like I'm crazy)
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
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    What'd the eggs say to the bacon? You look fried.
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,724 Member
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    A pirate walks into a bar, and the barkeep says "Excuse me, cap'n, but did you know that you've got your ship's wheel stuck in your pantaloons?"

    "Aye," says the pirate, "It's drivin' me nuts! Aaargh!"

    This is my favorite joke!( when said in a pirate voice)
  • Sirhijinx
    Sirhijinx Posts: 22 Member
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    An Irish guy walks out of a bar...

    Hey it could happen!!
  • bethvandenberg
    bethvandenberg Posts: 1,496 Member
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    I just saw on breaking news that the President said no one had to pay taxes any more.

    That should make you happy.
  • ♥Violette♥4Ever♥
    ♥Violette♥4Ever♥ Posts: 457 Member
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    Drunk woman in a cab says to driver, "Driver take me home!" The driver responds and says, "Ok and where do you live?" The drunk woman looks at the driver in total shock and says, "Thats none of your business!"
  • Brucifer55
    Brucifer55 Posts: 37
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    Oh wow...sorry. That's some of my best material.

    Before we lost our farm, I have a small family of goats. Odd little creatures. The little baby ones are like popcorn with legs. When I feel down i like to think of them. It always makes me laugh...and makes me cry a little bit as well. Two sides of the same coin. A lot of things in life is like that.
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,724 Member
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    A piece of string walks into a bar. Bartender sees him and says, "Hey! We don't serve your kind!" So the string goes out to the parking lot, rolls around on the ground, twists and controrts himself, and goes back into the bar. The bartender say, " Aren't you that piece of string i just refused service to?" String says "Frayed knot." :laugh:
  • ubabe1
    ubabe1 Posts: 144 Member
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    I'm not sure I can make you laugh...my husband is the comedian in the relationship. But I will tell you that I think...from your profile picture...that you have a very nice smile and really smooth pretty skin! Your eyes have a bit of mischief to them and I bet you can cheer a room up when you enter. I hope you are not sad. :flowerforyou:
  • countrygirl25
    countrygirl25 Posts: 6
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    Ok so here goes I am a 911 dispatcher so one day I am dispatching fd to a call. Well we have a street in or city that is Bonner well I had just started and got confused I said boner on the radio. The fd guys didn't even get on the radio because they were laughing so hard. Hope that helps you smile or atleast get a chuckle out this is a true story :-D.
  • KristenAnn711
    KristenAnn711 Posts: 783
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    I'm not sure I can make you laugh...my husband is the comedian in the relationship. But I will tell you that I think...from your profile picture...that you have a very nice smile and really smooth pretty skin! Your eyes have a bit of mischief to them and I bet you can cheer a room up when you enter. I hope you are not sad. :flowerforyou:

    Aw! You're so sweet! You win! Haha Thank you!!!
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,724 Member
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    opps
  • newnormal2010
    newnormal2010 Posts: 61
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    A guy goes out drinking with his buddies. The next morning he wakes up, fully dressed, in his own bed. He's hung over and his face hurts. He crawls out of bed and looks in the mirror, to see that he has a huge black eye. He makes his way out to the kitchen, where he finds his favorite breakfast on the table with a flower and a loving note from his wife, saying that she's gone out to get some things for him and will be back soon.

    The guy still doesn't really remember anything about the night before, so he asks his teenage son, "What happened last night? Do you know how I got this black eye?" The boy says, "Yeah, well, you came in pretty drunk. You tripped over the coffee table and crashed into the door -- that's probably when you got the black eye."

    "OK," says the man, "that kind of makes sense. But what's with the breakfast and flower and love note from your Mom? She usually gets pretty mad if I have to much to drink."

    "Oh, that!" laughs the son. "Well, after you fell down in the living room, Mom took you in to put you to bed. She tried to undress you, but you kept yelling, 'Keep your hands off me! I'm a married man!'"
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,724 Member
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    Ok so here goes I am a 911 dispatcher so one day I am dispatching fd to a call. Well we have a street in or city that is Bonner well I had just started and got confused I said boner on the radio. The fd guys didn't even get on the radio because they were laughing so hard. Hope that helps you smile or atleast get a chuckle out this is a true story :-D.

    Help! My Bonner's on fire!

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