Feeling Unmotivated and Like a Failure

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MannAmanda
MannAmanda Posts: 50
in Motivation and Support
First off let me start by saying I do have minor OCD. I start a work out program or diet regimen for myself and if I mess up for more than one day in a row I feel like a failure and start over. I have done this three times now. I am starting over AGAIN and I don't know how to keep going. I feel like I am just setting myself up to fail again. I don't know why I am just not motivated to work out. I guess it was when I ended up gaining two pound after working my butt off that week. I know everyone says not to worry about the scale, but my doctor is worried because as of right now I am 75 pounds over weight. My family all has health problems because they are over weight. My daughter is almost 9 months old and I haven't lost the baby weight yet. I just feel like I should give up. I know this is probably something that should go into a blog but I could use some friends right now. :-/

Replies

  • patattheshire
    patattheshire Posts: 123 Member
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    hang in there if you fall it just gives you a reason to get back up
    remember bike riding there were a few crashes before "look mom no hands"
    good luck
    pat
  • kdao
    kdao Posts: 265
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    Don't give up Hun, you CAN do this. You know the old saying, it doesn't matter if you fall, what matters is that you get back up! We are here to support you!
  • neecha
    neecha Posts: 8
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    Hello,
    My name is Donna and I have logged in for 70 days now and only lost 2 pounds so far, I know how your feeling! Its not easy to get up and move!! ugg some times I dread it and feel the same as you... But give yourself credit for the 6 pounds on your scale I saw you lost... Dont beat your self up so much , it wont do you any good trust me on that one!!
    Hope to talk to you soon
  • _LA_
    _LA_ Posts: 111
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    Your doctor might be concerned about your overall weight or weight gain, but I'm SURE s/he wouldn't freak over a 2-pound variance any one week - it's the long term pattern that counts, and exercise is great for you. If you want to be sure, call the office and ask - but I'm pretty sure the message will be, keep at it! Good luck!
  • ElizaBennettDarcy
    ElizaBennettDarcy Posts: 10
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    Don't be hard on yourself. You can and will start again, and you will crash, and you WILL succeed.
  • LaurieEReid
    LaurieEReid Posts: 273
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    A friend of mine likes to point out, "It didn't go on in a day. You can't expect to lose it in a day." This is about a lifestyle change, not a quick fix or a number on a scale.
  • gglover833
    gglover833 Posts: 18
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    I know how you feel hun. I use to do the same thing. I know it may seem like you can't do it, but you can. Don't let the small things bring you down and make you feel like a failure. It's only if you give up and not even try that you would "fail" and that isn't what you have done. You not only can do this for yourself, you can do this for your baby. It took me years to get rid of "baby fat" after I had my girls, but eventually I did it. And now that I am over 40, I was told that it would be even harder but suprisingly enough, it really hasn't been. The only hard thing for me was giving up my Dr Pepper lol. And last weekend I broke at a party and had two cans of it, but I kept going with my calorie count and atkins the next day. Just hang in there and lean on people who know what you are going through. We can help get you through the rough spots.
  • skinnylizzard
    skinnylizzard Posts: 460 Member
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    You already ARE succeeding by trying and trying! If you don't keep trying, then you'll go backwards. It's like swimming against the current...sometimes we aren't really moving forward, but then we give another little burst of effort and make our way up in time!
  • mweir56
    mweir56 Posts: 4
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    Don't give up! Your daughter is worth it and deserves to have you around as long as possible! I have lost and gained weight since I was 40 (54 now) and now that I have two beautiful grandsons, I am determined to eat healthier. You can't beat yourself up if you fall off the track once in a while; you just have to start again. I started on My Fitness Pal a week ago with my daughter and daughter-in-law and I have lost 6 pounds! It really helps to be accountable especially when someone is watching. We don't police each other, we encourage each other. When I was on Weight Watchers I lost 25 pounds and the only exercise I did was walk! Take your daughter for a stroller ride - she will love it and you will benefit from it. Think of this as a gift you are giving to your daughter - teaching her by example how to eat properly so she won't have the health issues that are in your family. Good luck! I know you can do it!
  • MannAmanda
    MannAmanda Posts: 50
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    You guys are really great. It does get so hard. And it was/is close to the point where I just want to give up but that wont do me or anyone else any good. I am trying really hard to keep my head up. Thanks for all of the kind words :-)
  • Terri73
    Terri73 Posts: 238
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    Ive fallen off the wagon god knows how many times. I just pick myself up and start again and again. Any change is for the better no matter how small . its a learning process and i'm still learning. You can do it dont give up xx
  • Jacquelyn913
    Jacquelyn913 Posts: 300 Member
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    A friend of mine likes to point out, "It didn't go on in a day. You can't expect to lose it in a day." This is about a lifestyle change, not a quick fix or a number on a scale.



    Awesome advice!!! :happy:
  • Andy_Anne
    Andy_Anne Posts: 17 Member
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    Don't give up! Weightloss is not an easy road...I'm still working off baby weight from my first one who is now 6 years old. It can be frustrating, and it can be an emotional rollercoaster, but if you believe in your heart it's what best for you and your family, you can do it!

    I've given up and started over about 6 times. Things finally stuck for me last year when I was tired of being tired, couldn't wear my clothes and was looking to have to go up another size. My straw finally broke and I've been able to stay consistent for a little over a year. Every day is a challenge, but the look on my kids faces when I am willing to run around the backyard with them is enough to keep me going.

    Add me as a friend, we can support each other. :)
  • SammieGetsFit
    SammieGetsFit Posts: 432 Member
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    So much of the weight loss battle is mental. And it's really hard to overcome that part a lot of the time. A big part of this journey, for me, is forgiving myself and allowing myself to move forward. I only focus on one meal at a time, and I operate on a "no take-backs" rule. If I have a horrible breakfast, that is just a horrible breakfast. It doesn't meant I should have a horrible lunch and dinner because of the 'why bother?' mentality. And it also doesn't mean that I should skip lunch or dinner to make up for it. It happened, and I'm human, and I'm not going to let it derail me. Maybe you can try something similar?

    Also, if the OCD needs an outlet maybe you can satisfy it some other way? I have a task list app that I can obsess over instead of food/exercise. But speaking of exercise, maybe that can be another good outlet for you. Break it down into small weekly goals you "have to" meet and take measurements instead of going by the scale for a while. I know it's not what any of us want to do, but what "everyone" says is right. If you are eating right and exercising when overweight, you WILL lose weight. Maybe give yourself 1 month before your next weigh in. You'll see the scale move positively, I promise. And by then you'll be in a routine and upping how often you weigh yourself won't be as much of a deterrent for working out and gaining that all-important muscle.

    Stick with it! And keep reaching out when you feel defeated. (Feel free to add me if you want more page-long pep talks, too! :laugh: )
  • julieban1
    julieban1 Posts: 39 Member
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    DON'T GIVE UP! You are doing great. Remember that muscle weighs more than fat, so you could be gaining muscle at a rate that is outstripping your fat loss! It will all work out in the end. I know how you feel because I've been working out really hard & can't seem to lose on the scale either. However, when I measure myself I get a good payoff. Maybe you should try breaking out a tape measure & see how you're doing that way!
  • MrsMuffinRun
    MrsMuffinRun Posts: 93
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    Hi there, my youngest "baby" is nearly 4 years old and I still haven't lost the weight. In fact, it never really was pregnancy weight, more raiding the fridge while looking after small children weight. So it really is early days for yourself. The way I am tackling it is to be strict with myself during the week and to be a bit looser about things on the weekend. To me this is achievable, whereas if I am mega strict with myself for a long period of time I will probably fall off the wagon big style and not get back on. If you have a bad day, it is only one bad day. Just keep going and weighed up against all the good days you should get to your goal. Fine words from me, I;m only on my second week lol, but I really do need to keep going. Don't hang around thinking about it for 4 years like me!
  • SakanaUshi
    SakanaUshi Posts: 27
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    What you need to understand is that fitness is forever. You can't fail at fitness if you keep trying. If you have some workout plan that you start, you might fail to meet your daily goal, but the workout plan is a tool to achieve your goal of weight loss--nothing more.

    To quote Blues Traveler "There's no such thing as a failure who keeps trying; coasting to the bottom is the only disgrace."

    You haven't failed at all, since you're still trying. If you give up, THAT is failure, at least until you are ready to try again.

    While I feel your pain, I know that it's hard to see the big picture when you're down on yourself, so I'm going with tough love.

    Get up, get moving, and stop worrying about failure.
  • BabyV88
    BabyV88 Posts: 1
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    Hun i have ocd as well and I know how hard it is to try your hardest at something and then boom u fail. I started this strict diet in the begining of march i loss 10 pound in a week amazing right. Well the minute that I started to loss weight I was stuck there I did the diet just like I planned but I wasnt lossing anymore weight. So I gave up bc I felt that I didnt do my best but Ive decided I need to do this for me not for some doctor, or my family, or the career that Im in. I want to do this for me. So if I stop 100 times that just means I have to start all over 101 times more. Do this for u and ur baby make sure u show her mommy doesnt give up. I have no kids but I want to be a teacher and Ive seen alot of students turn around and tell me well mommy and daddy dont exercise and their ok. Well its not ok when ur child is in ur same shoes. So f*** the doctors and the ppl in ur life that have health problems do it for YOU.:smile::happy:
  • Secret_Agent_007
    Secret_Agent_007 Posts: 1,082
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    We wouldn't be here if we weren't in your shoes at some point. I'm not special in any way. If I can do it, anyone can. We just lean on each other and go.

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