Food diary hiders....Why?
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Some people on this site are rude, and extremely holier-than-thou. I got sick of all of the unsolicited comments and "advice" from randoms.
Several posters in this thread itself prove this point quite well.
....Really? I'm not seeing it.
As for being vulnerable, I have one friend I respect a whole lot who goes over her goal every day and eats fast food. She's in college and very stressed out, but damnit, she logs and publishes daily. Everyone, including me, encourages her and she's already making positive changes. I've had some holier-than-thou's but I take it with a grain of salt, and some of them have lost a lot of weight, so they're worth hearing from. I'm not threatened by criticism from successful MFPer's, I welcome it. Some, on the other hand, lose 1 pound and act like they know everything! Haha.
Sometimes it's not over eating that's the problem. Some people on here are in recovery from an eating disorder, but are trying to lose/gain/maintain their weight in a healthy way for once in their lives. They tend to be EXTREMELY sensitive about people criticizing or preaching about their food choices when they slip up and it can trigger a downward spiral of self destruction in some of them.
These people in recovery generally know the facts and statistics, as well as what they SHOULD be doing, so input from amateurs where their food choices are concerned isn't welcome or necessary.0 -
If a person cannot be truthful with themselves then they fail. I am doing this for me and I am a fairly private person. There is very little personal info that I put out there. I believe every person has that right.0
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Mine is viewable for friends.. I know I'm not perfect, especially with my sodium intake (yikes!), but I think I'm doing at least pretty decent. I haven't had any negative feedback from anyone about my tracking, which is great. If I started complaining on my news feed about not losing any weight to friends, I could understand the negative feedback, but if I haven't asked, please don't offer.0
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Some people on this site are rude, and extremely holier-than-thou. I got sick of all of the unsolicited comments and "advice" from randoms.
here here0 -
Oh please! It doesnt mean a person isnt logging or eating badly. I blog and I post status' and give my opinion on various things but because I dont open my diary for all to see I should be shunned and thought of as doing something wrong? Thats completely close minded and makes no sense. I know for myself I keep my diary closed because I dont feel the need to let everyone know what I'm putting in my mouth everyday every single meal. I am transparent enough on my blog and why cant people navigate their weight loss journey on their own terms? They should take you off their friends list for not being respectful of their choices. The key word in this post fyi is THEIR.
You point to a side of MFP that I haven't seen. Everyone I encounter is helpful and constructive, with the exception of a very few quacks. My friends see and comment on my food, and I theirs. To me it's like trying to be a nudist and not taking your clothes off. This journey is about weight loss. If someone plateaus for 2 months and won't publish their diary, where they're eating 15 Oreo's a day, then others gets a false representation about whether MFP works. Same with the one who loses 5 pounds a week and doesn't publish. I do see your point that it's people's right not to share, and it's also my right not to have friends who won't show their cards. =o]0 -
hahaa I know its not funny but people actually do that
You shouldnt have eaten that cookie?? Sounds like the voice of food god or something!
On the other hand, they might think that they are being a part of a support system0 -
When I started MFP for the first time a couple months ago, I did not journey into the social aspect of it at all. It just didn't register that anyone would care what I eat or find it interesting to look at. MFP was a useful tool for me to really understand what I was eating. Once I ventured into the forums a little, I opened it to friends (at least I think I did. I don't even remember) because I do appreciate the extra accountability.
I think it's as simple as that when you join MFP, the question at the very beginning is "Do you want to make your diary public?" And immediatly I thought, "Huh? Why would I do that?" Being a fairly cautious person when it comes to the internet I clicked "private."'
I don't really think it is that huge of a deal.0 -
I keep mine public, but mine is also very dry, boring and straight to the point.
Generally speaking, there is a great deal of emotional baggage related to eating habits, so food and dieting can be an intensely emotional issue for many people; it doesn't surprise me they would choose to keep their diaries private.
Other people just like their privacy.0 -
Oh please! It doesnt mean a person isnt logging or eating badly. I blog and I post status' and give my opinion on various things but because I dont open my diary for all to see I should be shunned and thought of as doing something wrong? Thats completely close minded and makes no sense. I know for myself I keep my diary closed because I dont feel the need to let everyone know what I'm putting in my mouth everyday every single meal. I am transparent enough on my blog and why cant people navigate their weight loss journey on their own terms? They should take you off their friends list for not being respectful of their choices. The key word in this post fyi is THEIR.
You point to a side of MFP that I haven't seen. Everyone I encounter is helpful and constructive, with the exception of a very few quacks. My friends see and comment on my food, and I theirs. To me it's like trying to be a nudist and not taking your clothes off. This journey is about weight loss. If someone plateaus for 2 months and won't publish their diary, where they're eating 15 Oreo's a day, then others gets a false representation about whether MFP works. Same with the one who loses 5 pounds a week and doesn't publish. I do see your point that it's people's right not to share, and it's also my right not to have friends who won't show their cards. =o]
But its an option, if it were a requirement all diaries would be open so for you to say that its part of the weight loss journey is inaccurate. Its apart of your journey and others who have that specific common trait. Of course it is your right to do what you want with your friends list but you are punishing others based on their own rights to privacy. Have you taken a moment to think outside your bubble and considered maybe those friends of yours who dont share their diaries actually look to you as motivation? They may have very positive thoughts about you based on your own sucess and here you are treating them as if they are worthless and undeserving of support because they keep their diaries private. Just food for thought.0 -
In the same way that some people like to be very public and open, some people prefer to be private. Neither one is right and neither one is wrong. In the same way that no one way of eating will work for every single person trying to lose weight, no one way of going through the process works for every single person. So don't condemn those that like prefer to be private, just accept them as taking a different path on this journey than you are.
I joined MFP on March 14 of 2010. I learned about "public diaries" about two months ago. I log every single bite that I eat, including trident gun and fresh brewed, caffeine free lipton iced tea (on the rare occasions that I have it) even though it doesn't even have calories, but it has potassium in it, so it gets logged. On days I go over my calories (even on Disneyland days when I hit almost 8,000 calories) i log absolutely every single bite. So making my diary public isn't going to make me any more accountable.
Ultimately, the way I see it, is that I'm only accountable to myself and I just don't see the need or have a desire to open up my diary for public viewing. I don't look at other people's diaries and honestly don't see myself ever needing or wanting to.
I don't even have anything post to my own feed, I don't care about seeing all that stuff myself. I know when I've lost weight, I know when I've exercised and know that I log every single day. I mentally jumped for joy in the last app update on my phone because it allowed me to remove the feed tab from my start page altogether and turning it off was my first act after the update finished.
Different strokes for different folks.
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I don't mind sharing my diary with friends or having them comment on it. I am also the first one to point out if I made bad choices. But I don't need random people telling me that I made some bad choices, I already know that. Just because I don't share my diary with everyone doesn't mean that I am doing something wrong or trying to hide something.0
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What some people need to keep in mind is that some people have special dietary needs. I, for one, have special dietary needs. I have a doctor and a dietician that I consult for opinions and guidance. I am not looking to solicit rude or comments that have no truth behind them. I am using the site to track information for me. For those who choose to show their diaries, that is their choice, but it isn't my personal choice. I say whatever works for each person.0
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I wouldn't delete a friend who didn't show their diary. First off, you're half the friends I've got so it's not like I have a lot of friends to spare (!) but I also accept that some folks are very touchy about it. Really, is it called a "diary" and a diary is a place to record your inner most secrets.
The other issue, too, is that we got to this site 'cause, in many cases, we were in the process of eating ourselves into an early grave. Even though we've taken steps in the right direction to amend that, i can well understand that some folks feel that sort of information is too intimate to share with everyone. And the internet is visible to "everyone".
http://kara.allthingsd.com/20090216/you-have-zero-privacy-anyway-get-over-it-that-goes-double-on-social-networks/0 -
I'm not hiding mine. I'm just not showing it. There really is a difference.
I see how much flack everyone gets for every single food choice and I'm not interested in that. I don't need 220 opinions on my meal choices.
However, it's your prerogative to determine on which criteria to delete your friends.
Personally, if you're that fickle, get off my friends list. XD0 -
mines open feel free to add me ......... i log it all if it has calories0
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I absolutely agree and have a pretty tough time telling someone good job for being under their calories when I can't see anything. It seems insincere when I could, through my feedback and lack of information, be reinforcing crappy behavior. :huh: :noway: :ohwell:
I should also add that in the end, it is still a personal choice for everyone and in many cases, an intensely personal one. This discussion has opened my thought process to many other motivations for not opening a diary. I think the bottom line is that if we don't want to offer positive feedback when we can't see details, don't comment on the diary. Offer your support in other ways, but don't do something that goes against the grain or seems insincere b/c if it seems insincere, IT IS.0 -
Mine isn't public and I don't really see why it needs to be. It is a tool for me to keep track of what I eat, what's in what I eat, etc. I don't ask for help with my eating habits and to be honest I don't look at other peoples' diaries. I'm not seeing the connection between me making my diary public and you having a successful journey towards a healthy lifestyle...
Preach it!
This is my journey, nobody else can hold me accountable for my actions better than I can. I don't stalk other people's diaries and those on my friends list who keep theirs private are no less deserving of praise for logging their intake than those who keep their diaries open to the public.0 -
Oh please! It doesnt mean a person isnt logging or eating badly. I blog and I post status' and give my opinion on various things but because I dont open my diary for all to see I should be shunned and thought of as doing something wrong? Thats completely close minded and makes no sense. I know for myself I keep my diary closed because I dont feel the need to let everyone know what I'm putting in my mouth everyday every single meal. I am transparent enough on my blog and why cant people navigate their weight loss journey on their own terms? They should take you off their friends list for not being respectful of their choices. The key word in this post fyi is THEIR.
You point to a side of MFP that I haven't seen. Everyone I encounter is helpful and constructive, with the exception of a very few quacks. My friends see and comment on my food, and I theirs. To me it's like trying to be a nudist and not taking your clothes off. This journey is about weight loss. If someone plateaus for 2 months and won't publish their diary, where they're eating 15 Oreo's a day, then others gets a false representation about whether MFP works. Same with the one who loses 5 pounds a week and doesn't publish. I do see your point that it's people's right not to share, and it's also my right not to have friends who won't show their cards. =o]
But its an option, if it were a requirement all diaries would be open so for you to say that its part of the weight loss journey is inaccurate. Its apart of your journey and others who have that specific common trait. Of course it is your right to do what you want with your friends list but you are punishing others based on their own rights to privacy. Have you taken a moment to think outside your bubble and considered maybe those friends of yours who dont share their diaries actually look to you as motivation? They may have very positive thoughts about you based on your own sucess and here you are treating them as if they are worthless and undeserving of support because they keep their diaries private. Just food for thought.
I said "this journey is about weight loss," so don't misquote me please. This isn't a civil rights issue, I just don't want people to be misled, myself included. None of my friends think I'm treating them worthless - haha. Again, you must be in a totally different MFP than me.0 -
I got tired of all the criticism. I don't even know these people and the one day, I have treat is the one day strangers look at my diary and send me a message "you shouldn't have eaten that cookie"
Who are you to tell me what to do?
I know my body, I know my limits, and if I decide to have a small cookie once in a while, I think I am allowed.0 -
my diary is hidden but only if your not my friend. I have no clue why but it feels kinda personal so whoever wants to see mine can just add me and I would gladly accept. Besides, thats a great way to get friends lol.0
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I have no problem with a diary being open or not. It's their business but I do look for ideas. Mine is open to friends. I am worried about 1 friend as she eats very few calories and a lot of her logs are quick added so I am not sure whether she is doing it to get people off her back. She has admitted to having a previous eating disorder.0
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Some people on this site are rude, and extremely holier-than-thou. I got sick of all of the unsolicited comments and "advice" from randoms.
Mine was open initially but I experienced the snide and downright rude, unsolicited comments as well. The first time or two, I brushed it off and let it go but got sick of it. Now it's closed. If I want advice, I'll ask for it. Otherwise, people should keep their comments and opinions to themselves. The only person I'm accountable to is me.0 -
I didn't even know mine was set on private. OK...it is now "friends only" but I haven't worked up the courage to open it for everyone. Baby steps!0
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Mine is open to my friends.
It was private, but I had asked one of my friends to look through it for me so that they could give me some advice on something.
Frankly it's my body, my food, my diary.
If I want it to be private, it will be and that's my prerogative and my business.
I hold myself accountable for what I eat or don't eat and as I've encountered the holier than thou attitudes of "well you shouldn't eat/drink/look at/ smell that"; I don't think that it's unfair to anyone to want to keep things to myself or my friends list.
I don't particularly appreciate the insinuation that people that make the choice to have their diary private is either eating unhealthy foods, lying about what they're eating or not logging food properly.
I don't understand why it's unfair to any other member for someone to keep their diary private; if anything it's unfair to make a thread calling those people out and making them feel as though they have to justify their actions to others.
Just my opinion. 0 -
i think the diaries must start off being locked, i have just not bothered to find out how to unlock mine,, i have nothing to hide,and i do like checking other people's diaries for ideas ,,,, so i'm going to try unlocking mine now!0
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My diary is open to all my MFP friends. I don't have it public to everyone, as they won't be keeping track of whether I gain or lose anyway. Does that make sense?0
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Not sure if anyone has mentioned this one yet... and I've only read the first page as I'm soon to be out the door...
but maybe they don't know its private. I didn't realize that was a default setting and that you have to manually change it.0 -
I've never really thought about opening my diary - and I've been on here for a couple of years. I've never read anyone else's diary, either. It just never occurred to me to want to read a food diary. I guess I don't really see what I would get out of opening my diary to others. I certainly wouldn't take the time to read others' diaries and comment back, unless someone specifically asked my opinion on something. It also never occurred to me to assign ulterior motives to members based on whether or not they choose to open their diary, nor did it occur to me that others on the site would Expect that I should open my diary.
I find it surprising that anyone would feel negativity towards members who choose not to share their diary. I look at this site as a place for tools and support and information and ideas. I tell my husband and friends when I'm dieting and use them to keep me accountable for what I eat (my husband and I are dieting together) when I need that kind of support or reinforcement. Actually, I DO show two people my food diary on a regular basis: my doctor and my running coach.
Interesting... really, it just never occurred to me that I should. Maybe keep that in mind? MFP is a tool and some people use that "tool" differently than others.
I know how I should eat for my running, weight, particular medical issues (food allergies), etc. I don't think anyone on here is going to give me information (based on my food diary) I haven't read about, been told by a nutritionist or doctor or coach, or that I couldn't find in the many posts here. Also, as someone who has recovered from an eating disorder, I don't know that I necessarily need to have comments like those mentioned in this thread on my eating (ie, "that food is bad, why did you eat it"). I've been through enough shame about food and my body. So, that's my rather long answer to your question.0 -
It could be that they don't know how to let everyone view their food diary...like me I just found out last night how to reveal my diary. Maybe they're not hiding...just don't where to go to change it on MFP. I say give them a break.... 0
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I agree with many of you - it just never crossed my mind whether or not it was private. I haven't once wanted to look at someone else's log (don't think I knew you could!) - I remain constantly amazed and inspired by everyone's successes, but don't believe that there's a magic cure for losing weight that I'll uncover if I knew everything that they eat. I particularly don't want to open mine if people comment and criticise..... Does that really happen??
I only have 2 friends on here and one of them is my husband and if either want to see my diary, happy to oblige!0
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