How do I explain this without being rude?

Frappuzzino
Frappuzzino Posts: 342 Member
edited September 25 in Health and Weight Loss
I have recently decided that I wanted to watch my carbs because I know it will benefit me, and I don't enjoy breads or starchy, carb-filled foods anyway. Plus I am insulin resistant and have PCOS. I have almost completely cut out bread and bad carbs from my diet.

My boyfriend and I live together with his father. His father doesn't eat the healthiest (although he's significantly improved since we've been living together with him). I don't think he knows what bad carbs are, and often puts 2 or 3 servings of carbs in a meal, like macaroni salad and some type of bread as an example.

I end up eating small portions because I don't want to be rude by not eating the food, so how can I explain to him for future reference that I don't want to eat those foods without being rude? :(

Replies

  • ChristineMiller2
    ChristineMiller2 Posts: 116
    Just politely say no thank you. Easy. :) Its not rude to not eat things that aren't in your diet, or things you don't like.
  • dincler
    dincler Posts: 6 Member
    I think you just gave your explanation to him in the body of your message -

    Tell him that you are watching what you eat, and that you would love to have three servings of everything - but unfortunately, you can only have what you have on your plate. My mother-in-law and wife are both amazing cooks - but they are not the healthiest foods, either. So I take my smaller portions, and when they offer seconds, I say "I would love to, but I'm not going to. Thanks, though."

    They know what I'm trying to accomplish, and they know I'm not eating the food because of the taste - so being up front and honest usually works.

    Good luck!

    RB
  • 7vargovl
    7vargovl Posts: 3
    Just don't eat it or explain to him that you are trying to cut out bad carbs. I'm sure he'll understand.
  • CarterGrt
    CarterGrt Posts: 289 Member
    I actually believe that when it comes to what you put inside your body you have every right to be as selfish as you want. I would eat what works for you and pass on the rest. I wouldn't make a big deal about it or tell him how he has to eat, but I would suggest that you have conviction in your choices for you.

    Good Luck!

    --Carter
  • miqisha
    miqisha Posts: 1,534 Member
    You have to watch your carbs, because of your PCOS, explain that to him, and that it's for your health. Some times it's not what you say but how you say it, so be mindful of that. it will all work out fine.

    Goodluck
  • CarolHudson11
    CarolHudson11 Posts: 372
    Why don't you explain it exactly the way you just explained it to us? :flowerforyou:
  • HelenTheKitchen
    HelenTheKitchen Posts: 383
    Tell him your trying to avoid that stuff for medical reasons, he can't really argue with that.
  • mycrazyturtles
    mycrazyturtles Posts: 96
    Its simple, if he knows your trying to improve the way you eat you just tell him. I'm not at the point where I watch the carbs I put in my body. If I don't eat something please don't take offense. If he does not understand your bf can jump in and take over. As long as your not asking him to buy food for you or making things for you there is not reason he would be hurt. Or you could as you bf to sit down with him and you guys could put a menu together that would work for all of you with out you hurting ur diet and him be offended.
  • anderjess
    anderjess Posts: 1
    Does he know you're dieting? If he does maybe you could nicely say that you have hit kind of a plateau and need to cut out the carbs to get back to losing weight the way you want. I'm in the same situation with my fiance so when I started dieting I made sure the whole house knew it and they actually volunteered to do it with me. They only lasted MAYBE a week and were back to their old ways but they at least knew I was trying still so they were a little more careful about what was made for dinner.
  • shandy32
    shandy32 Posts: 193 Member
    Just say that you are on a diet x
  • quara
    quara Posts: 255 Member
    Maybe you can make your own meals, considering that you're living with him and not just visiting for a weekend. Explain it in medical terms - it's not a personal thing, it's not that you don't like his foods, but you need to cut down on carbs for medical reasons, and then make yourself lots of healthy veggies and proteins. You can be clear that it's not "I'm trying to lose weight and this is not healthy", but rather "I need to eat differently for my medical conditions."
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
    Tell him your trying to avoid that stuff for medical reasons, he can't really argue with that.

    I was going to say the same thing. I think because you have a medical issue that makes you more sesitive to carbs, it is different than just giving them up to lose weight.
  • StarryEyedGirl
    StarryEyedGirl Posts: 585
    tell him you are trying a new diet and those foods aren't on the plan! older people think anything healthy is "diet food" anyway for example skim milk or reduced fat cheese should only be eaten if you're on a diet- yeah I don't get their reasoning. easier not having to explain yourself! Don't let anyone stand in the way of your life style change and good luck!
  • skinnyme125
    skinnyme125 Posts: 396 Member
    I know that with different nationalities it can be considered rude. But I would offer to do the cooking. This way you get healthier options and the food is cooked healthier also. If he still wants his bread then let him have it. This way you are not turning down anything that he cooked to offend him. :)
  • firefighterswife58
    firefighterswife58 Posts: 46
    I went to my in laws yesterday for dinner (whom we don't see that often) & I stayed strick. She had Chicken, roasted potatoes, baked beans, stuffing and brocolli. I politely refused the stuffing and potatoes. They also were drinking sweet tea, I asked for iced water. They didn't think I was rude. I also refused the coconut cream pie.. It was a big step for me!
  • KrissyL
    KrissyL Posts: 1
    Why don't you start doing some of the cooking?
  • Tina1128
    Tina1128 Posts: 37
    Just say :" I wish I could but I can't -- it looks so good! " That way you're complimenting him -- also prepare a little something for the meal to "help out" -- something that you CAN eat.
  • thcri
    thcri Posts: 459 Member
    I have recently decided that I wanted to watch my carbs because I know it will benefit me, and I don't enjoy breads or starchy, carb-filled foods anyway. Plus I am insulin resistant and have PCOS. I have almost completely cut out bread and bad carbs from my diet.

    My boyfriend and I live together with his father. His father doesn't eat the healthiest (although he's significantly improved since we've been living together with him). I don't think he knows what bad carbs are, and often puts 2 or 3 servings of carbs in a meal, like macaroni salad and some type of bread as an example.

    I end up eating small portions because I don't want to be rude by not eating the food, so how can I explain to him for future reference that I don't want to eat those foods without being rude? :(

    I think you just be honest with him. Tell him for health reasons you just can't eat some of the stuff that you used to enjoy anymore. Take on some of the cooking yourself and make the things you can eat but yet mix in stuff that he likes. Your boyfriend should encourage this and support you. If dad is doing all the cooking then you have to make him a list of things you can and cannot eat. You are on the right path here, keep it up.
  • Frappuzzino
    Frappuzzino Posts: 342 Member
    Thank you guys! And just to clarify, I do cook atleast half of the week, but he enjoys cooking too so he cooks the other half of the week. :)
  • _LA_
    _LA_ Posts: 111
    I woud do this:

    "My doctor told me to avoid...(or severely limit, or whatever) ... so I'm just going to have (fill in the blank with something you SHOULD be eating"

    Blaming the doc helps me avoid debates b/c he's not there to argue 'his' points about whatever it is...
  • _LA_
    _LA_ Posts: 111
    I woud do this:

    "My doctor told me to avoid...(or severely limit, or whatever) ... so I'm just going to have (fill in the blank with something you SHOULD be eating"

    Blaming the doc helps me avoid debates b/c he's not there to argue 'his' points about whatever it is...
  • sceck
    sceck Posts: 219
    Maybe say, "Wow, that looks great, but I need to skip cheese tonight. On a new program ya know". He may actually start asking how your program is going and offer to cook some of those items that would fit in perfectly. Or perhaps when you cook next time, make it a flavorful filling dinner, then let him know it fits your program. Who knows, everyone may be on board with healthy eating. Never hurts anyone.
  • alysonleah
    alysonleah Posts: 23 Member
    I really don't think he could see you as rude if you cut back for medical reasons. Just say what you said here. :)
This discussion has been closed.

Categories