People don't even realise they want me to fail!

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karenjoy
karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
in Chit-Chat
I have lost weight, I look different. I look BETTER than I have for several years, I am FITTER than I have been for several years, I EAT BETTER than I have all my life and I am happier when I look in the mirror than I have been for years.

SO, why is it that my friends and co workers say things like -

You aren't going to lose anymore weight are you?

You aren't eating enough!

You are getting too thin!

You need to start eating 'normally' again

I was taken ill last week, and ended up in hospital, I had lots of tests, ECG, Chest X Rays, blood and urine tests etc and all came back fine, in fact the DR was really pleased with me, I told him I lost weight, and how and he was thrilled, asked me about it, told me my tests showed I was healthy and eating well etc. And I noticed something, even my close friend is now saying 'oh you were ill because you don't eat properly, you need to go back to how you ate before, you aren't eating enough'

Well actually I am, I am not underweight, I actually am 148lb and am 5 feet five and a half inches, so not too thin, in fact I have a little way to go. I am 44 so don't want to weigh what I did when I was a teenager, I eat a lot vegetables, and chicken, and fruit, I drink a lot of water, I also treat myself, and don't go hungry. I walk, I use my weights and I use my exercise bike.

I was talking about this earlier to my husband and I think he hit the nail on the head! He said - They are all trying to lose weight, they all think that they are doing the right things, eating the right things, and they see you losing weight and they aren't, so instead of thinking that they are doing something wrong, they think that YOU are doing something wrong....even though it's you that is losing the weight. It is hard for them to admit that you are getting it right, and that they are getting it wrong, so they say these things to make themselves feel better.

Almost everyone in my office and my two close friends are trying to get fitter and/or lose weight, and I have been the most successful, admittedly I was the fattest at one point, but I am now one of the thinnest (there are two others who are very slim, but one of them is half my age and the other almost kills herself working out and running to the point of hurting herself as well as being very focused on what she eats (mainly fat grams per 100) I recommend MFP ALL the time, but they don't listen, although two of them did join but didn't keep it up. They do weight watchers, or slimming world or the cabbage soup diet etc One of them is now running twice a week, but goes out every Friday and Saturday and gets wrecked and eats badly on the weekend and it is her that is telling me I am ill because I am not eating properly the most!!!

Do any of you have the same issues?
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Replies

  • Temporalia
    Temporalia Posts: 1,151 Member
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    People need to mind their own business, I actually think you look great :) It's not important what people say or think, it's how you feel (as long as it's healthy). Let them talk and keep up the good work :)
  • MaryDreamer
    MaryDreamer Posts: 439
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    Cuz they're JEALOUS!!!!!!!!!!!! Stay strong!
  • Temporalia
    Temporalia Posts: 1,151 Member
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    Oh and I don't have this issue currently, I have the "fat talk" version, I have a few opiniated people around me that will tell me that i'm putting my health in danger, that I should do more exercise, eat this, not that, etc. When I lost weight last year, I had a friend who would try to sabotage me and try to feed me...she wasn't supportive at all...then I gained weight and all went back to normal. (we don't talk anymore, she was pure poison, I learned later she was jealous of me and she had to be the prettiest, the tallest, the best and she would put me down a lot).
  • kabullard
    kabullard Posts: 41
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    I know exactly what you mean. It makes me just want to work harder to make them more upset :) (I'm mean).....I used to let things like that really bother me. My mom, and now my husband, have always told me that it's because they are just jealous of you. To make themselves feel better, they put you down. Sounds just like what your husband told you. I say you turn their comments into challenges. If they say that to you again, challenge yourself to work harder towards your goal!!
  • teasha43
    teasha43 Posts: 101
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    I agree with your husband:) It is sad that people have to try to bring you to their level...they are obviously not seeing what fit and healthy really means and that it is a lifestyle not a "diet". Sounds to me like they are a tad jealous. I am happy for you..they should be as well!!...xo
  • TLC1975
    TLC1975 Posts: 146 Member
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    This is so typical and I agree with you and ur hubby.....plain and simple, they are jealous....This is my second time around at losing baby weight and have heard all those same comments and more........I even get teased at work for my "healthy" food....It use to really bother me, but now I hit back.. You never hear ppl comment when your overweight...just when you are succeeding......
    Now I comment on everyone's "unhealthy" eating habits and how they should eat better, work out more, drink more water....blah blah blah....a positive side effect is that some are actually listening and have lost weight themselves!

    Keep up the good work, be proud that you are striving to be a healthy person...and remember that there is nothing wrong with eating healthy and wanting to be fit...those who make negative comments on your success need to shape up!

    Cheers
  • hpsnickers1
    hpsnickers1 Posts: 2,783 Member
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    I think your husband said it perfectly.
  • genianc
    genianc Posts: 16 Member
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    People suck sometimes. Just because what you are doing is not "normal" to them, then YOU must be wrong. Ha! It's like the crazy old auntie at Christmas... you just need to let her ramble, shake your head and then do what you are doing anyways. You are doing awesome and you are doing it the right way. I'll just for joy when I hit the 150lb mark. Keep up the good work and live life with the mindset of "this is a life style change, not a diet" and you'll do fine! **hugs**
  • erinthomson
    erinthomson Posts: 1
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    I am going through the exact same thing right now. I have been working out and eating healthy and I am receiving the same feedback that you are. My coworkers are always telling me that I eat too healthy and need to gain weight which drives me crazy. My best friend told me that I was too thin and that I needed to lose weight the healthy way - I have not lost more than 2 pounds a week, which is healthy! MFP has helped me out with losing weight and keeping it off. I think that it comes down to jealousy and people are frustrated that you are losing weight and they are not. Keep with it, you are doing great :)
  • dmoses
    dmoses Posts: 786 Member
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    I get it ALL THE TIME. For a while, it really bothered me, made me rethink what I was doing. Then, I realized that I'm in this journey for ME, not them. Stay strong!
  • SweetPandora
    SweetPandora Posts: 660 Member
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    Jealousy!

    There are so many people that do not like to see other succeed, it makes them face their own reality.

    I have a good friend who is always trying to compete with me and it gets frustrating. It's not a competition it's about being healthy and doing what we can for ourselves.

    karen
  • ambie35
    ambie35 Posts: 853 Member
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    Yes,I know a few people on WW who have lost 11 pounds in the past 9 months (I have lost 11 since January 23rd) and they don't get how I do it. I also get the same "when are you going to stop" thing. I am within my healthy bmi,and plan to be when Im done losing weight too.
  • donsch
    donsch Posts: 40
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    Hang in there! I am also 5' 1/2" and I weigh 145-150 pounds I did weigh 194 when I started my journey. I have changed my life! I have not doen the HCG diet, I have not done a cabbage diet, I have doen it the right way-and YES I DO HAVE MORE TO GO! but all in good time. I do feel that there are those who want me to fail but I do not have to make their comments control my life. Hang in there!
  • ramseyrose
    ramseyrose Posts: 421 Member
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    You know you are doing it right and have changed your habits for a life-time not just for a holiday or a wedding. I agree with MaryDreamer; they are probably jealous. I did WW last year and was always cheating. With MFP I have been able to see exactly what I am putting in my mouth and if I do occasionally go over there is still a deficit.

    Keep at it; your doing great :flowerforyou:
  • lindainak
    lindainak Posts: 101
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    So far no negative comments on my losing weight. My daughters friend has chosen me as the designated driver since alcohol is not on my diet. Most want to know about the Perfect Gene Diet.

    The worst comment I ever had was: " You will gain it all back." I wanted to punch her in the neck.
  • jeribobery
    jeribobery Posts: 4
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    I have had the same issues when I had dieted in the past. Now I don't tell people i'm dieting. I just say I'm eating better. Sometimes this helps keep them off my back. People are very critical of others. Just shut your mind to it and continue on. Good luck!
  • BlazedBetty
    BlazedBetty Posts: 31
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    Not exactly the same but I think we probably all have similar stories.

    My friends are upset with me because I don't party like I used to. I still drink, but I count those calories and have to earn some of them through exercise. I used to go out and take shots all night... And now I get a couple of light beers or a couple of vodka & waters. They have gotten downright mean at times when I'm refusing shots.

    Last night my best friends husband made a comment about how much I changed because before I'd never make him drink alone (we were the only two drinkers there) And I told him if he wanted to go for a long walk with me I'd have a cocktail when we got back. He seemed taken back that I was actually serious that we walk around the lake. But you know what... he grabbed his margarita and off we went. When I came back I made a skinny version using fresh lemons and limes instead of sour mix and it was delicious!

    I've just been trying to count most of my other friends rudeness as their drunken state. I still feel like I'm having a good time with my few drinks.. and now I'm more likely to remember it.

    But I think a lot of my experience differs from yours, because no one can see the weight I've lost. In fact, none of my friends think I need to be on a diet anyway. They all just think I'm being a pain, not that I'm serious.

    With only 2 weeks in I guess it will just take time for them to take me seriously and get used to it. But I'm not gonna let any amount of name calling or whining to make me break this commitment to myself. Sooner or later they will be able to tell I lost the weight. If not by looking at me, then by the "new" clothes they have never seen me in because I moved here at this weight... and all my cute clothes were from when I lived up north.

    If your Dr is saying "Right On!" then that's a MAJOR source of inspiration! Don't let the cattiness of the office get to you. Their opinions are not better than your own self worth! You are doing it! And they all wish they had the self discipline and determination to actually stick to something. So congrats to you and keep on trucking! Making girls jealous means your doing it ;-)
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    erinthomson....Someone's saying you eat TOO healthy? That's just bizarre...

    To the OP - how about asking them WHY they ask you that and make it a learning situation.

    Them: You're not going to lose any more weight are you?
    You: Why do you ask?
    Them: Ummmm - you're too skinny
    You: Well, according to the BMI calculator (or say your doc, whatever), I'm in a healthy weight range for my height and body type and actually plan on losing a few more pounds. Also, I'm using this site called MFP to track my daily intake of nutrients and caloric burn to make sure I'm doing this in the most healthy way possible. Would you like me to show you the site?
  • jene77
    jene77 Posts: 70 Member
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    My husband tells me the same thing. Woman can be so mean! My own sister who is supposed to be suportive to me told me that even if I do lose the weight that I won't be able to keep it off.... let me tell you, that right there was the biggest motivation that has helped me lose half my weight so far. Everyday that I want to make a bad decison on my meal or skip an exercise I just remember what she said to me. It hurts my feeling but then again I am thankful for the motivation that changed my life.
  • Chrissy_Michelle
    Chrissy_Michelle Posts: 176 Member
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    This happens to me too! I used to weigh 228lbs. I lost 90lbs and put on 13 so I am trying to get that back off. People say to me all the time that I don't need to lose weight or they say I don't eat. My own mother and grandmother think I am not eating and tell me quite often I need to stop trying to lose weight. They think because I choose not to have two helpings of high fat, high sugar foods that they make, that there is something wrong with me! It really ticks me off! I eat healthy food, healthy portions, and I workout. I am not obese anymore! I am healthy and active. I don't take tons of medication like they do to control all their health issues because they are overweight. So, I FEEL your frustration! I relate!

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