Need advice about something other than weight loss

Firstly, sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage in 2004, and it was so painful emotionally. At least by having a D&C you won't have the problems with blood loss you can get from a natural miscarriage.

I know right now it seems like the end of the world. I felt like that too. I couldn't get out of bed, couldn't eat, I just wanted to sleep all day and everyone to leave me alone.

You wil get pregnant again. You can start trying after your first full period, so in about 6 weeks. It will happen, and one day this will be in the distant past, which doesn't help the pain right now, but is something to hang on to.

No advice here, either, but just want to say, sorry for your pain and loss, it must be heartbreaking. Allow your husband and family in as much as possible, I would think that would help. Take care of yourself...

I've never been in this type of situation before, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for what has happened to you and I can only imagine how you must feel. Right now, take care of you. Allow yourself to grieve for your loss and work through your feelings.

Spend time with family and friends, and don't feel bad asking to talk about it or telling people to shut the heck up about whats going on.

Take time for yourself and take care of your health...you don't have to make any decisions right now on the future and time frames. Take a little time to appreciate the small things around you, look for a bit of peace, and remember that things will get better.

Best regards and wishes for you!

I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I don't know if there are any words that can bring comfort to you now, but take some time and try to be good to yourself. And know that there are lots of people on here thinking about you and supporting you.

I too do not know you but I read your story and I am very sorry for your loss and the best advice I can give you is that God has a plan for everything. Keep your head up and focus on the future:)
God Bless you

I'm so sorry for your loss. There aren't words that will make it better, though I wish there were. Allow yourself to grieve this baby because that's what you are doing, grieving a loss. Hugs to you.

FIrst, let me say I am so sorry for your loss. My son and daughter went through the same thing three years ago and it was heartbreaking. She too had to have a D&C and along with grieving for their loss, they too wondered what effect the miscarriage would have on their future hopes of having a family.

First of all, they let themselves grieve. And they did something to honour the baby's albeit short life. They bought a special ornament in memory of the baby, and at Christmas they put it on their tree to acknowledge her every year. (Although it was never officially determined, they felt strongly that their baby was a girl.) They also gave their baby a name and found that really helped show how precious she was to them as her parents. They will never forget their first baby.

As time went they did prayerfully consider trying again, and in fact this month gave birth to a little girl. But in the midst of their joy they, as well as those closest to them, did remember little Angelique, who is watching from heaven. Their faith really helped them get through their pain, knowing that they will see her again.

Hope that helps a little. {hug}

Oh, I am so very sorry. Please take care of yourself. Maybe take a few days off from everything for some down time. Gosh, there isn't much that can be said to make you feel better. I do firmly believe that God has a plan for everything. ((Hugs))

:flowerforyou: I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost a set of twins when I was about 3 mos. along. Well meaning people trying to comfort me said things like: "it wasn't meant to be., you'll have others.," None of that helped I was still depressed and angry. It's been 15 years and I've since had 2 more children but still every now and then I think of them with sadness for what I lost. The thing is you've lost a loved one. A baby you wanted and already loved. Yes in time it will get easier, but for now you need to morn. My heart goes out to you. I wish I could say something that would majically make you feel better, but unfortunatly the aren't any words that will. But if it helps you to talk or just vent. I'm here.

So very sorry for your loss. Friday will be difficult day for you, you'll be in my thoughts. I'm sure your head will play tricks on you, and try to make you think you are still pregnant, for awhile. It is hard to go into a D & C, because your brain keeps telling you that maybe they are wrong. I've had 3 pregnancy losses, D & C's after each loss, nearly hemorraged the last time, so it was good that I was in the hospital and they did the D & C. Nothing people said to me made me feel any better, and the emotional pain was acute for many years. It has been nearly 20 years since the last time I lost one, and that was my last pregnancy. The pain is gone, but I do remember, and feel sad occasionally. I do have 1 grown-up daughter, which kept me busy, she was my 3rd pregnancy. I totally understand the feelings of desperately wanting that baby, feeling like maybe you did something that caused this to happen, worrying about it happening again, worrying about not being able to have any children at all.

When you dont understand the will of God, trust His heart.

I know exactly what you are going through. I was pregnant and they were not able to find the heart beat. The head of radiology at a pretty prestigious hospital told me that there was a "mass of cells". He told me that although it started as a pregnancy, it never fully developed. I am sure that this man is smart, but the delivery of the information was cold and not the least bit comforting. I was told that I should make an appointment with my OB and they would schedule a D/C. I went to the appointment. He said he was not convinced that the radiologist was right. He sent me for bloodwork and my numbers were not dropping. The next few days were awful. Blood tests and waiting. Trying not to get my hopes up. Eventually the numbers were dropping and the dr. concluded that I was in fact miscarrying. I assumed that they would schedule the D/C and they did not. The dr. wanted my body to take care of it "naturally" I went on to bleed/hemmorhage for the next 3 months. (I used to carry extra clothes with me everywhere I went) Finally, a different dr. in the practice gave me medication. It was too late for a D/C at this point. It was awful. I had constant reminders. And the longer that my body was trying to recover, the longer I had to wait to become pregnant again. As hard as the whole idea of a D/C is, it is the best thing for you to do. I still regret not going to someone else sooner.

Your sorrow is valid. "you'll have another one" is not comforting. I don't care if you are pregnant for 3 weeks or 5 months. The minute a woman reads that test she is a mother. You are already imagining what the nursery looks like, thinking of names, talking to the baby. Take all the support you can get, and take care of yourself.

On a more positive note... After that, I had 2 healthy pregnancys and 2 healthy boys.

One more thing. When you do get pregnant again, make sure you find a supportive Dr. who will understand your need to be reassured that everything is ok during your pregnancy. I swtiched my dr. and it made all the difference in the world.

I am so sorry for your loss. I know that this is so hard to get through. I have been there and done that. I want to give you hope that once you allow yourself time to heal (if it be a month or two or more) and feel physically ready, the doc will support you in trying again. Let yourself and partner grieve the loss of this baby. Do you have any support groups in your town for losses? I can tell you that those saved my sanity over the years I went through infertility and miscarriages! Yes, you know you can get pregnant, but you will have this stigma associated with pregnancy in the future. Don't let it take you down, try and keep faith that it will happen and hopefully soon.