For the underweight individuals on MFP

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  • jaylu
    jaylu Posts: 158
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    very well said :)
  • NanBar
    NanBar Posts: 283 Member
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    I do not think this should be for the underweight individuals on MFP- it should be for ALL the individuals on MFP...acceptance, kindness (and just knowing when to keep your dang mouth shut) should be taught at an early age; unfortunately, in many cases it is quickly and COMPLETELY forgotten when people step behind the cloak of their computer ...and they say things that are inappropriate and just plain mean.

    Thank you for a well thought out, eloquent reminder that you should never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes.

    i agree, but unfortunately people are too scared to tell someone they are too fat... obviously they know if they are over weight, and dont need someone pointing it out.. but why arent they scared to tell someone how they feel about them being too thin? do they not think that person knows that not eating all day but for a peice of cheese is not healthy? i'm sure they know they are underweight, so why point it out in such a rude manner? but all of the "EXPERTS" (Idiots who started going to the gym in January because its a new year) suddenly need to tell someone what they are doing wrong.

    pisses me off!

    You may have misunderstood what I was saying here...My meaning was- everyone should read this because there is no reason ANYONE needs to be judging anyone on what they are or what they are not eating. It is wrong and plain rude.

    I support your post 100%.
  • schnarfo
    schnarfo Posts: 764 Member
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    so glad i read this post.thank you for posting this and for all the kinds words of support u have given to me as my friend on mpf <3 x
  • JoanHolly
    JoanHolly Posts: 46 Member
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    i loved this post thank you
  • kimiel
    kimiel Posts: 108
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    I used to get those remarks all the time! I was naturally thin no matter what or how much I ate! I wanted to be more curvy, but it wasn't how I was built! Those comments were very hurtful!
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
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    I support this topic 100% but this comment ruffled my feathers.
    i agree, but unfortunately people are too scared to tell someone they are too fat...

    Since WHEN????
  • Jaedynmoon
    Jaedynmoon Posts: 280 Member
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    I completely agree with you and thank you for this post. In 2004 I was working out for hours a day and only eating MAYBE 700 calories. I had been doing my weight loss journey in a healthy fashion until I just became obsessive with over exercising and calories in. It took a lot from family and friends to get me out of that part of my life and to be okay eating food again. I do have to constantly remind myself not to over do/obsess over either because I know the temptation of falling back into that cycle. I cringe when I read some of the things people say regarding eating disorders because people are so judgmental/uneducated on the subject. A lot of people work really hard to be healthy and fit and those comments a lot of people just throw around are so unhelpful and annoying. You look great and you should be so proud of your commitment to rockin' it out everyday!
  • tgh1914
    tgh1914 Posts: 1,036 Member
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    Ok. So I'd like to hear, from those that have been or are going thru it, just what is good to do or say to someone suffering from an ED? What helped you? What encouraged you the right way?

    Obviously it's not hearing that you're "too skinny" or not "eating right". I'm sure you kinda know that. But what about just constantly hearing the right kind of eating advice? Is the problem really a lack of knowledge, or something deeper? (I kinda think it's much deeper), but what do you do if you just wanna help someone? I've had a couple in my life suffering, but still don't claim to have the answers.

    What helps you the most?
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
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    Ok. So I'd like to hear, from those that have been or are going thru it, just what is good to do or say to someone suffering from an ED? What helped you? What encouraged you the right way?

    Obviously it's not hearing that you're "too skinny" or not "eating right". I'm sure you kinda know that. But what about just constantly hearing the right kind of eating advice? Is the problem really a lack of knowledge, or something deeper? (I kinda think it's much deeper), but what do you do if you just wanna help someone? I've had a couple in my life suffering, but still don't claim to have the answers.

    What helps you the most?

    For some with EDs it's about the food with others it's not. Mine was purely because it was all I could control in my life. When life spiraled out of control when I was 10 I realized that the only thing I had control over was my body. Restricting food was a natural reaction to stress for me. No one even noticed that I lost weight because of all the turmoil that was going on. I was sitting in Health class in 7th grade and we were learning about EDs and it dawned on me as to what I was doing to my body. I never had professional help.
    The best way to help is to listen...pure and simple. They may suffer because of stress and not weight. If it is about weight, maybe try suggesting an alternative you can do together....go hiking but eat healthier. Commenting on it rarely works and it usually backfires and they will learn to hide it better. I went 3 years with no one noticing...from 80 pounds to nearly 60...and I was 13. Very very unhealthy (I'm also very tiny to begin with)....but I killed my metabolism and I am still trying to correct it and I'm now 26 years old. I hope this helps.
  • stevemcknight
    stevemcknight Posts: 647 Member
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    i agree, but unfortunately people are too scared to tell someone they are too fat... obviously they know if they are over weight, and dont need someone pointing it out.. but why arent they scared to tell someone how they feel about them being too thin? do they not think that person knows that not eating all day but for a peice of cheese is not healthy? i'm sure they know they are underweight, so why point it out in such a rude manner? but all of the "EXPERTS" (Idiots who started going to the gym in January because its a new year) suddenly need to tell someone what they are doing wrong.

    pisses me off!

    Agreed. The "experts" kill me. I struggle every day with BED and I think people who simply overeat think it's the same thing. Thank God for my therapist who saved me from spiraling even further. Both sides of the coin are hard lives to go through and I support anyone actively trying to make a change.

    Goooooooo people!!!!
  • FabiolaEnvy♥
    FabiolaEnvy♥ Posts: 730
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    you know im glad you posted this... cause honestly i wanted to be a thinspo... and im working my way down there but im so far from that. gotta lose more than 100 lbs to get where i want to be... then go thinner. cause i thought that what beauty was. and so i dont judge the most thinnest girl. cause i know its a hard life to wanna look and feel "perfect"

    this is a site of encouragement, a place to get motivated a place where you can come and feel safe no matter the hardness of the day or worst day in a world.

    and sometime people are just "trolling" cause they dont know any better. they need to understand that comments, and things that people say are not meant to be hurtful. their meant to be a place of lifting up and never giving up.

    especially on this site. its soo cruel people would actually leave mean comments.
    :flowerforyou: :heart:
  • tgh1914
    tgh1914 Posts: 1,036 Member
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    Ok. So I'd like to hear, from those that have been or are going thru it, just what is good to do or say to someone suffering from an ED? What helped you? What encouraged you the right way?

    Obviously it's not hearing that you're "too skinny" or not "eating right". I'm sure you kinda know that. But what about just constantly hearing the right kind of eating advice? Is the problem really a lack of knowledge, or something deeper? (I kinda think it's much deeper), but what do you do if you just wanna help someone? I've had a couple in my life suffering, but still don't claim to have the answers.

    What helps you the most?

    For some with EDs it's about the food with others it's not. Mine was purely because it was all I could control in my life. When life spiraled out of control when I was 10 I realized that the only thing I had control over was my body. Restricting food was a natural reaction to stress for me. No one even noticed that I lost weight because of all the turmoil that was going on. I was sitting in Health class in 7th grade and we were learning about EDs and it dawned on me as to what I was doing to my body. I never had professional help.
    The best way to help is to listen...pure and simple. They may suffer because of stress and not weight. If it is about weight, maybe try suggesting an alternative you can do together....go hiking but eat healthier. Commenting on it rarely works and it usually backfires and they will learn to hide it better. I went 3 years with no one noticing...from 80 pounds to nearly 60...and I was 13. Very very unhealthy (I'm also very tiny to begin with)....but I killed my metabolism and I am still trying to correct it and I'm now 26 years old. I hope this helps.

    I appreciate your feedback. I hear what you're saying about the control thing. It seems this friend of mine knows what she's supposed to do for the most part (she's been in to see the professionals & all) but she gets stressed over whatever & just won't do what she knows is best. I actually try to not bring up exercise & eating at all cuz she constantly does. I'm kinda thinking it'd be nice if she could talk about something else.

    Do you think it's fair to say there could be a self-esteem issue? Like they totally value their body image way more than their inherent self worth? idk
  • BADGIRLstl
    BADGIRLstl Posts: 473 Member
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    Thanks 4this eye opener...I have never criticized a thin person on here...but when I see very thin girls, it never dawn on me tha they have a ed....I always think that "they have it made" bc the don't have 2 deal with watchin everything they eat....I never took into acct tht they cld be strugglin from an ED.
  • diviana
    diviana Posts: 53
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    Whether one is overweight or underweight, no one wants to be on the end of ANY spectrum. It isn't healthy. I think most here are aware of the health risks. Whether you nearly hit 500 lbs like me, or struggle to maintain 100, everyone here trying to better themselves is worthy of support. We are all just trying to reach a middle ground, and I'm sure it's just as difficult for underweight people as it is for us overweight people. You all have My support, good thoughts, and prayers for wellness and success on your journey here.
  • Erindipitous
    Erindipitous Posts: 1,234 Member
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    Thanks for this. I'm currently trying to lose weight, but I used to be very thin. I got a lot of comments, and it was hurtful.

    Been there, done that. I am 5'3" and was 140lb at my highest in high school, became situationally depressed and developed an eating disorder. I was 86lb when I finally admitted myself into treatment. During this time, the comments slowly killed me inside.. Hearing, "Just have a milkshake and eat a hamburger.." only did more damage. No one understood what I was going through, and I can never imagine going back to that, especially after the two months of HELL I went through to recover and get me back to a healthy "goal" weight.

    After five years of maintaining, the past two years of nursing school have put some extra weight on me, and I'm now trying to lose about 10 pounds -- But the difference is that I'm smarter now. And it may sound ridiculous (or like an excuse), but I am having a hard time sticking to only 1200 calories because subconsciously I'm scared to death that I'll fall back into patterns and go through that all over again. Struggles never seem to subside, on any place on the spectrum.

    Bottom line: I completely understand where OP is coming from, and support healthy progress. It takes an insane amount of strength to overcome an eating disorder. Always stay strong. :heart:
  • fattymcgoo
    fattymcgoo Posts: 14
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    I really loved this post; you took some words out of my mouth. There's a lot of internal conflict when you have disordered eating that only gets augmented by things people say concerning your weight, even if they're telling you that you're too skinny.

    I also noticed in your signature that you're running (or have run) the la jolla half marathon - awesome! I live in san diego and was considering registering. :)
  • LOVEsummer
    LOVEsummer Posts: 304 Member
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    I'm happy that I was able to reach out to some people on here and let them know that we are all part of a community striving for healthy no matter where you come from.

    @tharrop- there isn't one thing you can do really other than be supportive and honest. When someone would comment on one of my features, "your eyes are really pretty" etc it helped but my ED came from body image and self worth. Counseling and therapy were what helped me start getting better, a strong support group of friends and family is what has kept me healthy :)

    @fabiola- I used to want to be someone's "thinspiration" as well until I realized that having someone look at me and think oh shoot that girl is FIT!!! not skinny :) was what I wanted more. If I punch someone in the face, I want it to hurt!!! haha really though, strong is my new skinny and I hope you find a healthy goal to strive for, it feels so much better to me to sprint in the last 100 yards of a 10 mile run than it did when I would close my diary at 700 calories.

    It feels good when everyone is positive to one another so that is what I am trying to do, :) stay positive

    It's scary when I have unhealthy temptations but every day I get stronger and I love being the "skinny girl" "who never eats" who outruns my coworkers at the local running club, who isn't out of breath at the top of the stairwell, who has wicked calf definition in my heels... Everyone is fighting their own personal battle :) we just have to support each other!
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
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    I'm having a really hard time today....so much stress....and lack of control...which is what led to my ED to begin with. I just crammed a PB sandwich down, even though I am not hungry. I cannot lose control again....I need to be strong, positive, and keep my head high. Lack of control will not derail me from being healthy!!! *hugs self*
  • LOVEsummer
    LOVEsummer Posts: 304 Member
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    I love you Maid!!!! <3 hang in there and stay strong, you are beautiful!!
  • hippiechel
    hippiechel Posts: 170 Member
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    i used to restrict but now i tend to binge a lot. for some reason setting my goal at 1200 causes me to binge more than when i set my goal at 1000 (whether of not i go over my cals). it is difficult to find the balance for me and i am so tempted to go back to restricting because of all the extra weight i have put on! thanks for this post!

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