Husband wanting to work out with you?

Brooklyn5966
Brooklyn5966 Posts: 18
edited September 25 in Motivation and Support
Obviously I can't complain that my husband wants to be apart of my weight loss and encourage me. The problem is, I'm so embaressed to work out with. My husband has a great body and always been in shape. I literally don't have 1 min to myself most days and I was honestly very excited to have 30 min to myself to blast my music and work out and now I feel like its' all ruined and Im frustrated. I thougth we had a deal worked out where he would watch the kids while I worked out so I didn't have to stop every 5min with kids. Am I being kinda *****y about this or does anyone feel that should kinda be "their" time to themselves. Just not sure how I should approach this with him. Example last night the min I walk in the door he wants to work out and I don't want to wait to he sits on the stairs and pouts and makes me feel bad. Any suggestions!

Replies

  • Painten
    Painten Posts: 499 Member
    That is really sweet of him. You've got a good one there.

    Like you though i'd die if my oh wanted to work out with me, however sweet. I'm afraid i'd just have to come out and tell him that i'd be too uncomfortable. I make my oh go upstairs. I get all embarrased if he comes through the living room while i'm trying to work out. Tell him you appreciate his support but your just not ready right now to work out with him. It sounds like he's sweet enough to understand that.
  • ambercole
    ambercole Posts: 426
    I make my husband leave the house when I workout, because if I don't he bothers me! LOL
  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,024 Member
    When all else fails try the truth! Just tell him you would rather focus on the workout you have planned and maybe do something exercise related together a couple times a week.
  • sarahnicolexoxo
    sarahnicolexoxo Posts: 230
    I used to be embarressed by the thought of my fiance watching me workout and coming in the room and seeing me exercise but now, it's no big deal. We workout at the gym together. We walk together, we bike together, etc. But, we have no children and I can definitely see why you are bothered and want your down time. I say sit down and have a talk with him. He will never know if you don't speak up! Good luck!
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,294 Member
    When all else fails try the truth! Just tell him you would rather focus on the workout you have planned and maybe do something exercise related together a couple times a week.

    This, and tell him about having to stop to check on the kids, and how that it is hard to get a good workout in when you have to do this.
  • Noonoo757
    Noonoo757 Posts: 280 Member
    Wow first id like to say you have to give the man some credit for being so supportive and wanting to work out with you. My husband is the same he is all about his health and has the body of a GOD lol we cannot work out together because we argue when he tries to push me he dosent understand that when im tired im really tired lol. However I say work out with him sometimes let him feel like hes a part of your journey because really the family does become apart of this journey we change our habits so that we can set good examples in our homes and be healthy. I wish you the best of luck in what ever you decide to do but id at least try to designate one day a week where you can both work out together it could be fun and bring you even closer.
  • angiezee
    angiezee Posts: 38 Member
    Same issue with my husband. But now I've taken it a different way. At first I was supper annoyed. But now he really helps me out a lot specially on those days I just want to stay home. The extra push he gives me annoys me but he keeps me going.
  • Stefani74
    Stefani74 Posts: 448 Member
    My husband and I workout together in the evenings...but I still do my own thing first thing in the morning before everyone gets up. I feel like it's MY time. I do the workout that I want and not have to worry about anyone else.
  • edorice
    edorice Posts: 4,519 Member
    My husband and I workout together every morning. Before we did the P90X and Insanity home workouts we went to the gym together. It's our time. No kids, no homework, no bills; just our time. it has pushed both of us to do better. I recommend working out with your husband.
  • miznel80
    miznel80 Posts: 46 Member
    Yeah, Just tell him the truth. Tell him you need to have a grown up conversation with him and tell him the truth. Don't let him make you feel guilty because then you'll give in and start to resent working out at all. My husband likes to run with me but I don't always let him. He messes up my stride and makes me nervous. But You don't always have to say no, sometimes it's fun to do it together. When you don't feel like it just tell him.
  • Brooklyn5966
    Brooklyn5966 Posts: 18
    I kinda tried the whole honestly thing and I'm pretty sure he got his feelings hurt. But just last night, I'm trying to run on the treadmill and I have my 3 year old son trying to get on it with me, my husband tells him no, he started balling crying he wants his mommy and the stress of it all really just makes me wanna quit. Oh what to do what to do!!??!!??
  • krd82
    krd82 Posts: 53
    I feel like work out time is my time and I make my hubby watch the kids, lol. Which its easy for me because he doesn't want to work out or go jogging with me. Sometimes I wish he would for his sake.
  • precious71701
    precious71701 Posts: 105
    WOW! Interesting situation...It is so awesome that he actually wants to work out with you and since he's your husband, he's gonna be around for awhile. I would just try talking with him and expressing how you feel about really needing your down time...EVERYONE needs that sometimes...My boyfriend and I are doing this together...Sometimes we work out together and then there are times when we do our own workout...Maybe you two could do something like that...I make it plain and clear that when I first walk into the house...I need some space...just 10 or 15 min to myself to wind down...My boyfriends understand how I am and accepts that...Just try talking...because you want this experience to be as enjoyable as possible...Good Luck...
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    I thought I'd be mortified with my fiance watching me work out, all grunting and sweaty...but to be honest he was great...he didn't work out with me but he was very motivating and helpful. He wasn't sitting on his *kitten* coaching me or telling me I was doing it wrong...he just counted and said "good job honey"...If he wanted to work out with me, I'd give him Tuesdays and Thursdays. Mon/Wed/Fri would be mine to do toning and cardio, he could do what he wanted....but yeah explain to him that it's your time to sweat out your stress...but make sure you include him in something. He just wants to be your big strong man, give him a chance to spread his testosterone around lol
  • ahsongbird
    ahsongbird Posts: 712 Member
    First off, i would feel VERY flattered that he wants to spend so much time with you and be a part of your journey, but at the same time I understand where you are coming from b/c at the weight I am right now I just don't want to be flopping around while my husband is in the room hahaha, he gives me my half hour to hour of space so i can get my workout in but I pray that he will be willing to join me when I'm not so ummm... jiggly? lol
  • chris0912
    chris0912 Posts: 242 Member
    I'm kinda in the same boat. Our treadmill is temporarily in the living room (while we are remodeling the basement), so I try to schedule my work-outs for when he is at work or sleeping. Luckily, he works midnights so he sleeps all day. But he only works 4 days a week and gets called off a lot, so it definitely puts a crimp into my plans! Lately, he's been off a lot cuz he got shingles and had to stay home (he's a nurse). I feel like a b**** telling him to leave the room and watch TV somewhere else, but until I'm not jiggly anymore I don't want him anywhere around me while I'm sweating like a pig!

    My other little pet peeve is that he (at 181 currently) wants to get down to 175. Every time he loses a pound he gets all excited, but it just gets me down cuz I have so much further to go!
  • lfclancy
    lfclancy Posts: 46
    I think that it is sweet that he wants to work out with you but if he is suppose to watch the kids then I would he would just stay home and help that way. I used to not like to work out with my husband around either but after going to the gym for awhile I got used to it. If I am not at the gym then we switch off and take turns with the kids. I would try to talk to him to explain how you feel. I agree with teh break from the kids. I am a mother of two also and I enjoy my work out time without the kids. Good Luck.
  • kld4239
    kld4239 Posts: 186 Member
    Be honest with him and tell him that you need to do this by yourself. Tell him how sweet he is and how much you appreciate his support but that you think he will hinder your progress and that this is one thing that you need to do for yourself. I can relate as my husband is always trying to work out with me. One time he even got up @ 5:30am and did Jillian's Shred with me! Fortunately, the shred wasn't for him and he hasn't tried again since :) I have started playing racquetball with him once a week and that seems to keep him happy and he leaves me alone for my other workouts. Maybe if there was some activity that you could do occasionally together it would make him feel more involved. When I get impatient with my husband I remind myself that I am fortunate to have such a supportive spouse and that many others aren't as lucky :)
  • wewon
    wewon Posts: 838 Member
    Its valid to want your alone time, even if he's trying to be helpful.

    The next time he's watching a movie, sports or anything else sit down next to him and say, "We need to talk..." and proceed to launch into some womanese monologue.

    He'll get the message of how important 'me' time is.
  • momofcole
    momofcole Posts: 18
    I also have kids and really I think that is the main issue- he needs to be watching the kids and not letting them bother you so you can work out and have 'you' time. People without kids just do not understand how hard it is to workout with little ones all up in your *kitten*, lol!

    Now, I also don't like working out in front of my husband, regardless of the kid situation. I'm in much better shape than him, he's at a healthy weight but NEVER works out so it's not that... IDK, I just don't like people watching me. (I guess if he was working out too it wouldn't be bad- but if i'm doing a dvd and he's sitting on the computer in the same room- I hate that!! lol) He's come to support me in races, I don't mind that.
  • rockabyesarojane
    rockabyesarojane Posts: 471
    aww. yes the thought is sweet and it's good to have that kind of support but i agree that you should just try to find a way to express that since you have the kids with you most of the day you would really like it if the workouts could be your "me time" and if he doesnt work out with you then he can be sure the kids are occupied elsewhere. He could even have storytime with them while youre doing your thing.

    i always loved being read to and whenever i read to my younger cousins they cant seem to get enough because people just kind of stopped doing that at one point.

    anyway. my guy supports my loss but instead of working out with me. he just wants to sit on the couch and watch. he doesnt even pretend that he's not. he has no shame about it at all actually. if i start working out and he happens to be there he'll immediately plop down for the show. i feel like i should pop some popcorn for him one of these times!
  • NotAllWhoWanderAreLost
    NotAllWhoWanderAreLost Posts: 615 Member
    i think a good compromise is in order: maybe pick a day or two to walk/bike/hike/kick a ball/throw a frisbee/clean the garage/do the spring yardwork etc together and make it a family affair. Be active together and think of it as being active instead of thinking of it as a workout (and then maybe it won't be as frustrating when you get interrupted a million times or have to cut it short or don't get to the intensity level you were thinking of)..... BUT ALSO tell him how you feel about your workouts being double-duty workouts for your body and soul and that you really need that downtime to yourself to just get into a zone and to be selfish with your wellness. Make sure he knows you want to work out with him, but that you are afraid of missing out on your "me time" too... Most men will realize "happy wife = happy life" and will give you the room to yourself... just gotta be up front about it :)

    Good luck!
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Ok, use last night as a prime example... In order to get a proper work-out, you need to get your heart rate up for so many minutes, right? Well, how can you do that with your kids crawling all over you? You need to have this time by yourself to concentrate on this priority. He's lucky enough that he's been able to focus on his fitness in the past and now it's your time.

    In order to avoid the hurt feelings, I like the idea of picking a day or two to do something together - go for a walk or bike ride as a family or play football on the lawn or whatever you think you all can do together. You'll still burn calories and have some fun together at the same time. However, the rest of the week, you need your dedicated 30 minutes.

    Maybe there's something you can do for him so he feels like it's a good compromise?
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    People without kids just do not understand how hard it is to workout with little ones all up in your *kitten*, lol!

    :laugh: love it
  • ezgoingal2
    ezgoingal2 Posts: 17
    Tell him that you are trying really hard to get into a workout routine. And while working out together is a great idea and would be something you two could share, explain the difficulty with the kids running in and out. You might suggest joining a gym that has child care, but if that's too expensive, then you'll have to switch off watching kids while each one works out. That was the sweet approach. Now, unless HE can get them to sit quietly without interrupting for 30 min....either let HIM be the one getting interrupted and frustrated or tell him to quit pouting and watch the kids so you can have 30 minutes of time just for you!!! lol Oh, and that's the ******y approach.:tongue:
  • ezgoingal2
    ezgoingal2 Posts: 17
    Gorilla, i agree with you..great idea!!
  • nikkimoon1382
    nikkimoon1382 Posts: 72 Member
    I wish my honey would work out with me...or do anything remotely healthy. Thats great that he's supportive and you'll work harder if someone is there pushing you.
    Can't the kids watch a show in the other room or do homework or something? i mean its not that long... they can get used to you having "mommy time" . Its not selfish and they will learn to respect that time. See if you can get them involved once in a while for family fitness time.
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