To all those people who get upset about being told your wron

kelligonzales
kelligonzales Posts: 391
edited September 25 in Motivation and Support
:smile: Hi All-

You may get upset and crabby about this, but you are on a website for weightloss. There is no reason to get upset and bent outta shape because people tell you that what you are eating isn't healthy. I understand that we are here to support each other and encouge, but we are also here to fix the flaws that got us here. I discovered today that the Carl's Jr does a 490 calorie turkey burger, and I ate the **** outta one it was good and made me happy. I was so excited in fact that i posted to all my friends so they would know my joy.... I got an e-mail from a friend asking for me not to get mad at her and de-friend her, but she had concerns for my new found bff ;). Then pointed out all the flaws my burger had.

This got me thinking that there is no reason that should have felt that it might offend me that she was pointing out something that would in the long run help me. So To all the overly sensitive folks out there don't take it as a negitive but as a postive that the people you complain to and see you workout and see your progress, the ones you have let in and accepted as friends are trying to help you and not "support" your *kitten* back to the weight you started at.

We aren't supposed to enable you to continue on the unhealthy chocies you make.....

Thank you for reading
Kelli
«1

Replies

  • drog2323
    drog2323 Posts: 1,343 Member
    yep...sometimes we all need a pat on the back OR a kick in the pants!
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    Well said!
  • MelissaL582
    MelissaL582 Posts: 1,422 Member
    I agree!!
  • VialOfDreams
    VialOfDreams Posts: 217


    We aren't supposed to enable you to continue on the unhealthy chocies you make.....

    Thank you for reading
    Kelli

    Thanks for posting. This is true!
  • Noonoo757
    Noonoo757 Posts: 280 Member
    I agree because with me sometimes ignorance is bliss thats just me personally so i prefer to be told its more helpful that way.
  • ShellyMacchi
    ShellyMacchi Posts: 975 Member
    *like.... alot!*
  • sleight119
    sleight119 Posts: 125
    I agree
  • Janworkingitout
    Janworkingitout Posts: 434 Member
    You are spot on!!
  • PoorGirlEatingHealthy
    PoorGirlEatingHealthy Posts: 209
    I 100% agree. I thought I had my mind wrapped around all this but slowly but surely I came to realize just because it's diet or lite doesn't mean it's healthy. Over time I found myself not liking old go to foods like diet coke. I am much better off for it!
  • PoorGirlEatingHealthy
    PoorGirlEatingHealthy Posts: 209
    I 100% agree. I thought I had my mind wrapped around all this but slowly but surely I came to realize just because it's diet or lite doesn't mean it's healthy. Over time I found myself not liking old go to foods like diet coke. I am much better off for it!
  • Jade_Butterfly
    Jade_Butterfly Posts: 2,963 Member
    Very nice post! Thank you for sharing!:bigsmile:
  • kelligonzales
    kelligonzales Posts: 391
    I agree because with me sometimes ignorance is bliss thats just me personally so i prefer to be told its more helpful that way.

    Me too, I tell ya i thought I had it all figured out and then she pointed out it had 23 grams of fat and i was like eek!! damn it!
  • amandaj27
    amandaj27 Posts: 10
    We need a LOVE button... AGREED!!:happy:
  • skinnygirlfreed
    skinnygirlfreed Posts: 53
    So true! I WANT friends like this! :) That will look at my diary....give me suggestions...healthier alternatives...it's just constructive criticism.
    And yeah - I hope that my "friends" will be receptive when I may from time to time point things out to them!

    Well said. Thanks!

    Jo

    P.S. Don't make your diary public unless you want me to see it! LOL
  • tdexter
    tdexter Posts: 15
    Spot on Kelli. Its a balance right? I have two strapping boys that eat us out of house and home and can of course eat anything and not worry. We'll go to Red Robin or similar and with some planning I can enjoy a burger with them even while Im on this journey. I know its got too much salt in it ... I drink 64 oz of water, I know its full of fat and crap ... I'll burn that in the gym tomorrow.
    You can be a puritanical as you like when it comes to food but you have to eventually face it, that lifes too short :0)
  • SARAHWALKER25
    SARAHWALKER25 Posts: 50
    Actually if u cut out the condiments ( ketchup, Mayo, Ranch, BBQ sauce) It is closer to 390 cals and less then 10 gms of fat. Sometimes we just need to learn to modify our fast food choices.
  • kelligonzales
    kelligonzales Posts: 391
    Actually if u cut out the condiments ( ketchup, Mayo, Ranch, BBQ sauce) It is closer to 390 cals and less then 10 gms of fat. Sometimes we just need to learn to modify our fast food choices.

    huh nice post thanks i'll keep that in mind
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I agree, and don't. If someone has one thing that's not the ultimate in health food, that's a lot different than someone who has it every day. And if someone asks for suggestions, or complains that what they're doing isn't working, that's another story, too.

    I have half a DiGiorno Pizza about once a week. I love it, and make it fit into my calories, and it's not slowing me down. And I had two white chocolate macadamia nut cookies today. I'll probably have one tomorrow, too, and the next day and the next and the next... because there's 5 left and my husband doesn't like them. Most of my meals are very health conscious. And I exercise like a fiend. I do that so I CAN enjoy my junky stuff from time to time. There's no way I could ever stick to a traditional diet where there's good foods and bad foods and all bad foods must be avoided for all eternity.

    I'm here for me. I'll lend support and encouragement to those who need it, but I'm no one's nanny and I don't expect anyone to be mine, either.

    I'm exceeding all my goals, both in weight loss and fitness levels. What I'm doing is working for me. It might not work for someone else. My food diary isn't open so I'm "more accountable." It's open so that others can see that you CAN enjoy all sorts of foods and still get, be and stay healthy. It's open because I've gained valuable information from friends' diaries and I hope to be able to do the same for others. It's not open so that people can berate my choices.

    There's too much guilt already in the weight loss arena.
  • JulsDiane
    JulsDiane Posts: 349 Member
    I agree 100% and it sounds like you have a good friend who respects and cares about you. She sent you a private message and apparently expressed her concern in a respectful manner.

    HOWEVER, I have to say that everyone should remember attacking people is not the means to give constructive criticism. I have seen, thankfully not experienced, others telling people in their status updates how bad the choice(s) they made was, telling them about all the wrong decisions they were making, or why the HAD to do something such as eat back all their exercise calories. Now when advice like this is solicited via status update or forum post I say you get what you ask for, good or bad. The instances I have seen though were in response to someone completing their diary or exercise for the day. One person in particular I have seen this repeatedly with happens to be a personal trainer. Sorry uncalled for ;)

    Just my 2 cents :wink:
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    The problem comes when people have very different ideas about what healthy is. I don't think eating red meat is healthy, but a lot of people on here think I don't get enough protein as a vegetarian. Sure in an ideal world people wouldn't get offended about stuff, but in an ideal world people wouldn't criticise unnecessarily, either. A few people here do seem to be here because they love telling other people what to do.
  • SARAHWALKER25
    SARAHWALKER25 Posts: 50
    Actually if u cut out the condiments ( ketchup, Mayo, Ranch, BBQ sauce) It is closer to 390 cals and less then 10 gms of fat. Sometimes we just need to learn to modify our fast food choices.
    Hardee's - Turkey Burger (No Mayo), 1 Burger (254 g) cal 390 carb47 fat8
    Hardee's - Bbq Sauce, 34 g cal60 carb17 fat 0 0


    Straight from my diary... I did add some bbq sauce but i got it on the side and added it myself!!

    This is a good move for hardees/carls jr. I think one of the healthiest options on the menu
  • RunnerInTraining
    RunnerInTraining Posts: 51 Member
    yep...sometimes we all need a pat on the back OR a kick in the pants!

    Sure do!!! Today I need a kick in the pants! lol
  • Jena_72
    Jena_72 Posts: 1,057
    I agree because with me sometimes ignorance is bliss thats just me personally so i prefer to be told its more helpful that way.

    Me too, I tell ya i thought I had it all figured out and then she pointed out it had 23 grams of fat and i was like eek!! damn it!
    well at least you enjoyed it ONCE! :bigsmile: actually it sounds like a good, once in a while thing if it makes you happy. Just gotta plan for it like everything else! :smile:
  • Jena_72
    Jena_72 Posts: 1,057
    Actually if u cut out the condiments ( ketchup, Mayo, Ranch, BBQ sauce) It is closer to 390 cals and less then 10 gms of fat. Sometimes we just need to learn to modify our fast food choices.
    well there you go Kelli!! :happy:
    And yes when we have it OUR WAY or in the spirit of MFP :wink: a little modifying and we're good to go! It is all in the delivery of how you tell someone something. :smile:
  • kelligonzales
    kelligonzales Posts: 391
    Actually if u cut out the condiments ( ketchup, Mayo, Ranch, BBQ sauce) It is closer to 390 cals and less then 10 gms of fat. Sometimes we just need to learn to modify our fast food choices.
    well there you go Kelli!! :happy:
    And yes when we have it OUR WAY or in the spirit of MFP :wink: a little modifying and we're good to go! It is all in the delivery of how you tell someone something. :smile:

    I agree!
  • kelligonzales
    kelligonzales Posts: 391
    Now listen people i'm not saying that there aren't people who go overboard they totally do. You will have extremes. I'm just saying that sometimes we can be a little sensitive when people suggest things. If your diary is open then you can't complain if some suggests something. I don't really care why you have it open. If you enjoy junk sometimes we all have it we all do it. Don't nit pick what the thread was about thats stupid. The thread is reminding us all to keep an open mind...
  • melodyg
    melodyg Posts: 1,423 Member
    Agreed *BUT*.... I do think that people have different ideas of what is healthy. For myself... I wouldn't say hamburgers or ice cream is "healthy" but I have no issue with fitting them into my diet (diet = food I eat to keep my body going). I would be offended if someone responded to me like some of the responses I've seen on this site from people who choose to eat vegan, or vegetarian, or never eat fast food, etc. (Fortunately for me, that hasn't happened. I've had friends point out not so great choices and gently inquire if that is the norm. Fortunately... it isn't) :)
  • kelligonzales
    kelligonzales Posts: 391
    Agreed *BUT*.... I do think that people have different ideas of what is healthy. For myself... I wouldn't say hamburgers or ice cream is "healthy" but I have no issue with fitting them into my diet (diet = food I eat to keep my body going). I would be offended if someone responded to me like some of the responses I've seen on this site from people who choose to eat vegan, or vegetarian, or never eat fast food, etc. (Fortunately for me, that hasn't happened. I've had friends point out not so great choices and gently inquire if that is the norm. Fortunately... it isn't) :)

    Ha ha ha I'm glad too. I understand that I feel the same way, I know they aren't healthy but i'll fit them in sometimes. I've never had that happen to me unless i ask but my friends know that even if i don't agree i love seeing a point from all sides not just my own. I feel it make me a more well rounded person if I get all views good and bad.
  • luvslibby
    luvslibby Posts: 24
    Well said Kelli! If people didn't care, they wouldn't say anything. So I'm grateful if someone points out something that be unhealthy or just not a good idea.
  • mkskippy24
    mkskippy24 Posts: 45

    There's too much guilt already in the weight loss arena.

    I agree. I think if you ask for critisizm, than fire away, as long as it's constructive. And not everyone's opinion is warrented if you aren't asking to be evaluated.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories