My husband wants a divorce...normally, I would binge eat rig

Sorry to hear. You did a good thing keeping part of the motivation for just you. Now it can be all you. I feel for you.

***Hugs*** - sorry to hear that.

I'm really into Zen Buddhism since it calms me down. I found this page, I hope it helps, Zen has always helped me through every horrible thing I've experienced.

http://familydharma.pulelehuadesign.com/divorce.htm

I don't know if this helps but I'll send you a friend request and everyone on this thread should send Staci a friend request...*hugs*

Sorry to hear about your situation. Just think you aren't losing yourself by him leaving. You're gaining a new self respect and putting yourself first (which I'm sure is a new thing for you as a wife and mother(?)) Take advantage of it and make yourself and your health priority! Try not to let this get you down...try to stay positive and uplift yourself with a nice walk every time you feel like binge eating.

Good luck with everything

Hey hun, if you want something inspiring to do today, why not revise your profile and goals to reflect what you're going to do for yourself.

Just wanted to send you *hugs* and to wish you all the best for your future! can't commit on the divorce thing as I know nothing about it! but to add I think your outlook is fantastic, you're doing you and noone else! :flowerforyou:

My in-laws were on the brink of a divorce and managed to work through some tough issues through marriage counseling. You might have to see a few of them. The first therapist told her to divorce him and the second or third one was actually helpful in helping guide them to talk through their issues.

Best of luck to you! Kudos for handling this stressful time with better choices!

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I know the devastation of divorce. I had been married (happily I thought) for eleven years when out of nowhere my ex said he wanted a divorce. We have 3 children (little then) and I just couldn't understand how life could spiral out of control so quickly. Came to find out he had been having an affair with a woman at work only during business hours. He was always home when he was supposed to be, etc... I did not have an appetite at all so I know how you are feeling. You will go thru many stages of grief because it is as if a part of you died. Divorce was very hard on my children and I and even my ex. I divorced in 2002 and now am blessed with a wonderful husband. I actually feel sorry for my ex as his life is in shambles now and two of our three children do not even see him regularly. If people would only realize the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. Love is a choice not a feeling. Feelings will come and go but if you truly love someone you love them no matter what. Hugs to you.

Big hugs!! Went through something similar myself. My life was all about him and his life was all about him. It can't work that way. It's amazing how fast your world can spiral out of control. In my case it was never right to begin with but I have super amazing powers of denial.

Focus on yourself now. Sit back and think about what you want out of your life. Really think about yourself for a moment. I had actually forgotten how to do that. Once I did, I saw that it wasn't him and never should have been him. We were water and oil that stayed together because that's really all we knew.

Plus I swear the minute you start asserting yourself and making changes for youself, that's when they start noticing that you really are something special.

The following is just a suggestion. It may or may not work for you.

Some people do the mistake of crying and begging the person to return. I learned that this NEVER works. It gives the person strength to keep with their plans to leave. The best thing to do is to calmly let him know that you are okay with the separation, and WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF (it sounds like you are doing this already). This reaction will shock him because he may expect for you to break down. Generally, when you are doing your own thing, you become more of a curiosity to him. I went through a similar situation with my husband, and I had done a lot of research about it. I've read about worse case scenarios where the couple had actually signed the divorce papers after the wife begged for him to stay. She moved out of state to live with her family where she was not judged, took on new hobbies and adventures, and became a happier person. Eventually, he wondered why she wasn't ringing his phone and started taking interest again. HE asked her to return, and she did, but as a stronger person.

When my husband explained that he wanted to separate for a few years, and return later, it took me a while, but I gained the courage to tell him to go right ahead. At that point, he realized that he wanted to have his family instead, and he never left. From that experience, I learned to maintain my own hobbies; to put my desires before his (such as realizing my boundaries: what I will or will not accept, and creating the relationship that I want); an attractive appearance is helpful for myself too, not just for him; and it is NOT UP TO ME to decide for him whether he will stay or won't. Although it will be painful at first, if he doesn't choose to stay later in life, he is paving way for me to meet the one who will truly be sincere to me.

After this kind of wake up call you are experiencing, if he winds up staying, the relationship will be challenging at first, but only time can heal. Good luck with whichever direction the two of you go.