~1 Day at a Time~ 65lbs lost~

MrsBrosco
MrsBrosco Posts: 295
edited September 25 in Health and Weight Loss
I was just looking through my weight loss records for the last year. I am rather dissapointed to say that I have only lost a total of 8lbs in the last (almost, as of April 21) year. Before everyone goes and get's all, "You should be proud of that 8 lbs" on me, let me explain my dissapointment...

The previous year I lost 58lbs! I ate right (most of the time), I wasn't doing much exercise but I was sure as hell doing more than what I have done in the last year. I wasn't eating at fast food and I wasn't caving to my cravings. I was so proud when I would step on the scale and see more and more weight loss. I can't believe that I started out this last year at 172lbs and am now only to 164lbs... In the last year I have gone up as high as 168lbs and as low as 159.8lbs.

When I hit 159.8lbs ONE DAY in August last summer, I think something mentally clicked and I FREAKED out. I hit my lowest weight in 7 years and then just binged. By the end of that month I was all the way back up to 168lbs!!

Here's where I need help. What is going on with me, mentally? Why is it that i'm so scared to bust into the 150's? It felt great but I instantly sabotaged myself.

Here are my thoughts:

1. I have lost 65lbs since my journey started in May of 2009.
2. I still look at myself as the fat girl in the mirror.
3. I still mash my chin down into my neck to prove to myself that I still have a double chin (I don't).
4. I still have zero confidence
5. I still HATE clothes shopping

*I trully think that my fear lies with the fact that I dont think i'm going to be comfortable with myself when I finaly do hit my goal. I really do think that is why I have not moved forward. I'm scared. I'm scared of the maintenance that will need to be done. I'm scared that I still wont be comfortable in my own skin. I'm flat out just scared.

HELP ME! Someone, Anyone. Has anyone else had this struggle? I would LOVE to hear success stories to those of you that have lost your last 20lbs and are now just maintaining.

Thanks to all of my MFP's. I Love you all so much!

Replies

  • PrairieRoseNE
    PrairieRoseNE Posts: 265 Member
    Sorry I don't have the answers - but here's a ((HUG)) and a prayer that someone else will.
    I hope you will keep on the healthy track - and like your topic line says - it's all 1 day at a time - and that goes for the rest of us too.
    I know I didn't become overweight overnight, and so as much as I'd like to lose it all overnight - it just doesn't work that way.
    Don't let discouragement hinder that awesome progress you've already made!

    ((HUGS))
  • jackier19
    jackier19 Posts: 24 Member
    My theory on this is you worked so hard to lost those 58 lbs and it takes a lot of time to get there....so our brains say "great job on your lowest weight! Now it's OKAY to go eat pizza and ice cream". I recently had this same problem. I didn't gain a lot of weight back bc I weigh myself everyday, so I know when to cut back if necessary. But we work our *kitten* off (literally) and we get to a goal and then we feel the need to reward ourselves. Just pick up and move forward. It'll come back off. Good luck!
  • ickybella
    ickybella Posts: 1,438 Member
    Wow, I do the double chin thing too! I am always pinching myself to find fat (not that it's too hard to do.) I've lost a little more than 100 pounds in the past couple of years. I can't say I have been bingeing to a large degree, but, after I hit a "healthy" weight and ran a 5k, I started doing Saturday binges again and haven't really stopped. I did, at least, manage to stay under my calories last weekend. I have no help to offer you here and I'm really sorry about that, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone. I don't know how long it takes our brains to catch up with our bodies, but I am hoping mine does soon. I know that I see myself in the mirror (especially naked) and think "Good God, how can I be so fat? How fat was I 100 pounds ago?" But I see pictures and think, wow, I actually look small there. Still, I know that my mind is the problem, because I fit into size 12 UK work-out clothes, even though I am normally a size 10, and I was really disappointed to be a 12 instead of a 10, even though I fit into smaller sizes of clothing than I ever did when I was in the US, and the sizes are smaller in the UK. None of that seems to matter. I just feel fat. I see women who are my size and think they look nice, so it's not that I think everyone is big, just me. I like to say "I'm not fat; I'm big BRAINED."
  • LFern
    LFern Posts: 141
    I know my opinion probably don't count because you know what a slacker I am :embarrassed: - BUT in my opinion...:glasses:
    Maintaining within 10 lbs is quite a feat:drinker: . With all our bodies go through, to be able to keep within a 10 lb fluctuation I would consider a GREAT victory!:happy:

    To lose over 50 lbs in one year put your body through a BIG change.:noway: It probably took this year to figure out exactly what hit it. As for the emotional issue of being "afraid" - hell I have that problem the second I lose FIVE lbs. I have come to think it is my fear of my husband not really caring one way or the other what I look like. He accepts what I have become. He still sees me in my 18 yr old body God Bless him. It is ME that needs to come to terms with what I WANT to look like.:huh:

    Have you stopped to consider that perhaps you are very happy and COMFORTABLE at where you are?:love:

    Being comfortable doesn't always have to mean being at the "perfect" number on the scale.

    Staying accountable for what goes into your mouth is a daily - LIFETIME committment. Something we ALL struggle with on a daily basis.

    Healthy choices must become a habit. Saying NO must become a habit. . .

    You look BEAUTIFUL! You give AWESOME advice on what to do right. LISTEN to yourself! ((((HUGS)))) :flowerforyou:
  • sophiajackson99
    sophiajackson99 Posts: 90
    Is there some reason why other people deserve to be thin, but you somehow don't? It sounds crazy to say, but you can just decide. Just look at that girl in the mirror and say (something like), You're enough. Just the way you are. You deserve every good thing in life, including a thin and healthy body if that's what you want.

    When you feel the truth of that deep down inside, the fear will leave. Right now I think you're afraid because you're asking yourself to be someone that you don't truly think you are. The images don't match up. So - good news is that you can change the image! Just decide. Your past has nothing (not one thing) to do with your future. (((hugs))) sophia
  • morganadk2_deleted
    morganadk2_deleted Posts: 1,696 Member
    Are you eating enough! 1200 is the minimum for a small sedentry woman, You should eat your calories from exersise back! on days i know i'm going to the gym, i log my exersie in the morning , then have bigger meals those days!


    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/10589-for-those-confused-or-questioning-eating-your-exercise-calo

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/61706-guide-to-calorie-deficit


    This is just a part of it! please read the link above


    Generally someone with a BMI over 32 can do a 1000 calorie a day (2 lbs a week) deficit
    With a BMI of 30 to 32 a deficit of 750 calories is generally correct (about 1.5 lbs a week)
    With a BMI of 28 to 30 a deficit of 500 calories is about right (about 1 lb a week)
    With a BMI of 26 to 28 a deficit of about 300 calories is perfect (about 1/2 lb a week)
    and below 26... well this is where we get fuzzy. See now you're no longer talking about being overweight, so while it's still ok to have a small deficit, you really should shift your focus more towards muscle tone, and reducing fat. This means is EXTRA important to eat your exercise calories as your body needs to KNOW it's ok to burn fat stores, and the only way it will know is if you keep giving it the calories it needs to not enter the famine response (starvation mode)



    Good luck on your journey
  • Bethany28
    Bethany28 Posts: 263
    I was just looking through my weight loss records for the last year. I am rather dissapointed to say that I have only lost a total of 8lbs in the last (almost, as of April 21) year. Before everyone goes and get's all, "You should be proud of that 8 lbs" on me, let me explain my dissapointment...

    The previous year I lost 58lbs! I ate right (most of the time), I wasn't doing much exercise but I was sure as hell doing more than what I have done in the last year. I wasn't eating at fast food and I wasn't caving to my cravings. I was so proud when I would step on the scale and see more and more weight loss. I can't believe that I started out this last year at 172lbs and am now only to 164lbs... In the last year I have gone up as high as 168lbs and as low as 159.8lbs.

    When I hit 159.8lbs ONE DAY in August last summer, I think something mentally clicked and I FREAKED out. I hit my lowest weight in 7 years and then just binged. By the end of that month I was all the way back up to 168lbs!!

    Here's where I need help. What is going on with me, mentally? Why is it that i'm so scared to bust into the 150's? It felt great but I instantly sabotaged myself.

    Here are my thoughts:

    1. I have lost 65lbs since my journey started in May of 2009.
    2. I still look at myself as the fat girl in the mirror.
    3. I still mash my chin down into my neck to prove to myself that I still have a double chin (I don't).
    4. I still have zero confidence
    5. I still HATE clothes shopping

    *I trully think that my fear lies with the fact that I dont think i'm going to be comfortable with myself when I finaly do hit my goal. I really do think that is why I have not moved forward. I'm scared. I'm scared of the maintenance that will need to be done. I'm scared that I still wont be comfortable in my own skin. I'm flat out just scared.

    HELP ME! Someone, Anyone. Has anyone else had this struggle? I would LOVE to hear success stories to those of you that have lost your last 20lbs and are now just maintaining.

    Thanks to all of my MFP's. I Love you all so much!

    I am sorry that you are having such a hard time right now. I didn't lose as much as you, but last summer I lost 27 pounds and was only 2 pounds from my goal weight. I did what you did and now I am back up to 166.8. I don't know why we do it, I need the answers too. All I can say is hang in there and keep working hard and maybe give your self sticky notes on the mirror to wake up to that tell you that you are beautiful and to remind yourself of what you have alreay accomplished and what your goal for the day is. Keep setting daily goals and do this one day at a time. Mini goals seem to help me. The big goals scare the **** out of me. Hang in there!
  • callipygianchronicle
    callipygianchronicle Posts: 811 Member
    Is there some reason why other people deserve to be thin, but you somehow don't? It sounds crazy to say, but you can just decide. Just look at that girl in the mirror and say (something like), You're enough. Just the way you are. You deserve every good thing in life, including a thin and healthy body if that's what you want.

    When you feel the truth of that deep down inside, the fear will leave. Right now I think you're afraid because you're asking yourself to be someone that you don't truly think you are. The images don't match up. So - good news is that you can change the image! Just decide. Your past has nothing (not one thing) to do with your future. (((hugs))) sophia

    These are wise words, from one of my wisest MFP friends.

    What you are falling for is the myth. The myth that the thing that was missing from your life was being thin. And when you got close—when being thin started to feel like a reality and not just some dream—you ran scared.

    Because you’re still carrying You around.

    It’s not the Authentic You, you haven’t found the Authentic You, yet. The You that you’re carrying are the voices from childhood, from a lifelong feeling of emptiness. It’s all of the well worn tapes that play in your head and say that you don’t measure up.

    It seems impossible, but listening to those voices—believing that what they say is the truth—is a choice. You can choose to believe that you are Enough. Right Now. Your body is beautiful, today. Your soul is glowing and you are worthy of goodness, Now. Not when you reach goal weight. Now.

    When you accept that as the truth, when you work to live in that truth, the path becomes much easier. You understand how to feed your Self. You understand how to give your body the movement it craves. And you develop patience and kindness—not disappointment and self-loathing—for your Self. Do not hate yourself for not getting this before now. You are about to have a breakthrough. Don’t run from it. Run through it.
  • PrairieRoseNE
    PrairieRoseNE Posts: 265 Member
    And don't forget that all of us have inner beauty - even if we don't yet have that much sought after, and sometimes over-rated outer beauty.

    A few years back I lost over 50lbs and was feeling good about myself - not just because I looked better but I felt better. I'm not a classically beautiful person - credit my genetics for that - but I thought I looked good. HOWEVER, my hubby was "afraid" of the new me and since he's not a thin person either - he got ideas that my "new look" was meant for some other guy or something dumb like that. To make this long story shorter - he more or less emotionally de-railed my progress and I gave up trying to lose any more weight. He said he liked the old me better?? And since I was partly losing weight to make him proud of how I looked, I gave in. Big mistake!

    Like I said, he was just scared that I'd think I was too "good" to stay with him - since he was overweight. Which was totally untrue and I don't think I ever gave that impression, but that's what he felt.

    This time around - we had a frank talk about WHY I was losing weight and it was 99% because I was having extremely high Blood pressure numbers and I HAD to lose weight or risk major heart problems. I basically just said he had better get on board and support me, because I wasn't backing down or changing my decision to lose weight. And so far he has been terrific about it all.
    (Thank goodness!!)

    Don't know if this helps you - but I just hope you can see that everyone is worthy and beautiful, no matter what the scale does or doesn't say.
  • pinkgigi
    pinkgigi Posts: 693 Member
    I totally love what Sophia and Yolanda have to say here. You deserve to get what you want and you are enough just the way you are. You have certainly done a wonderful job and you didn't put the weight back on (like me!)

    Best wishes on your journey to a slimmer you!

    GG
  • joybell32
    joybell32 Posts: 252 Member
    When i got to my LOWEST adult weight of 208, i did the same thing. Sabotaged myself right back up to the 240's. I liked the way I flet when i was that thin, but it still happened. Don't be discouraged, remain encouraged! Good luck to you on your journey finding the RIGHT YOU!
  • brneydgrlie
    brneydgrlie Posts: 464 Member
    Is there some reason why other people deserve to be thin, but you somehow don't? It sounds crazy to say, but you can just decide. Just look at that girl in the mirror and say (something like), You're enough. Just the way you are. You deserve every good thing in life, including a thin and healthy body if that's what you want.

    When you feel the truth of that deep down inside, the fear will leave. Right now I think you're afraid because you're asking yourself to be someone that you don't truly think you are. The images don't match up. So - good news is that you can change the image! Just decide. Your past has nothing (not one thing) to do with your future. (((hugs))) sophia

    These are wise words, from one of my wisest MFP friends.

    What you are falling for is the myth. The myth that the thing that was missing from your life was being thin. And when you got close—when being thin started to feel like a reality and not just some dream—you ran scared.

    Because you’re still carrying You around.

    It’s not the Authentic You, you haven’t found the Authentic You, yet. The You that you’re carrying are the voices from childhood, from a lifelong feeling of emptiness. It’s all of the well worn tapes that play in your head and say that you don’t measure up.

    It seems impossible, but listening to those voices—believing that what they say is the truth—is a choice. You can choose to believe that you are Enough. Right Now. Your body is beautiful, today. Your soul is glowing and you are worthy of goodness, Now. Not when you reach goal weight. Now.

    When you accept that as the truth, when you work to live in that truth, the path becomes much easier. You understand how to feed your Self. You understand how to give your body the movement it craves. And you develop patience and kindness—not disappointment and self-loathing—for your Self. Do not hate yourself for not getting this before now. You are about to have a breakthrough. Don’t run from it. Run through it.

    BEAUTIFULLY STATED!!
  • CricketKate
    CricketKate Posts: 3,657 Member
    Here is a post from a thread, "Just for Today"

    "I once heard a very wise person say that she was just one cookie away from being 300 lbs again (she was about 150 lbs at the time). I thought that statement was a little drastic at the time. However, I have come to realize the truth of it. I followed a very rigid eating plan to lose the weight after my 4th child. But when my baby turned one, that piece of birthday cake that I ate quickly turned into 20 lbs gained. I know now that if I don't keep control of the food, it will control me. That being said, i find the thought of eating healthy for the rest of my life to be a little (okay, a lot) daunting. That's why tomorrow has become my best friend. I tell myself that I'm going to eat healthy forever, so I will enjoy one last day of treats today. Unfortunately, today has lasted for several months.

    So my new mantra is "For Today". I will not think about eating healthy tomorrow (until tonight when I plan tomorrow's food). I will decide to eat healthy "for Today". When I get through today, I will recommit tomorrow, and the next day and the next. Hopefully, when I've chosen the right enough times, I will forget to have to choose, it will just be my life. "

    I don't know the answer to the fear issue, but I do understand self sabatoge. I do find living day by day to be much less scary than planning forever.
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