are we sometimes congratulating people for undereating? Loo

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  • YMTaylor
    YMTaylor Posts: 230 Member
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    I totally agree and thanks for putting this out there. I've been wondering for a few days now if I'm reading the exclamation point wrong? Instead of thinking it's a 'woohoo, you're under your calorie goal', maybe it's a 'uh-oh, you're under and maybe you should be eating more tomorrow' ?? Especially when someone is way under and/or eating crud for most of the day and then nothing for dinner just to 'balance' it out. Just my thoughts. Thanks again!
  • SeasideOasis
    SeasideOasis Posts: 1,057 Member
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    Can I stand on this soap box with you? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    I went through a period where I lost my appetite (like...all of it) in the beginning, probably due to the drastic change from WAY too many calories (probably because I went from 3000-4000 calories a day to 1200 overnight). I could tell who from my MFP friends really paid attention and who just puts Great Job! My one friend, whom is AWESOME, instead of saying good job, actually made appropriate comments like "You werent kidding you lost your appetite, Im sorry" and others things that really applied, versus saying good job because she took the time to look at my log and realized I hardly ate anything.

    So, from that day on, I see what a person is eating before I say good job. If they made great attempts at eating well and went below their calories, but were close enough, then they get a good job. However, if they went under and ate like crap, Im not sure that deserves a good job either...
  • kaits108
    kaits108 Posts: 305 Member
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    I totally agree with this. I rarely comment on peoples food diaries because it is almost too personal. I sure as heck am not going to congratulate you on undereating, BUT I also don't know if you're saving calories for a free day the next day, or are sick, or just couldn't hit those last few calories, or are just having an off day. So instead of judging and telling someone to eat more, or rewarding for undereating possibly on purpose I just don't comment on that.

    I thought about this recently and I feel more accomplished on days when I eat about 100 calories over than on days when I've been under my calories. I don't understand why this site keeps you in green and happy when you're under, and then you get the red bold letters when you go 1 calorie over. It makes it look like a horrible thing, when it can be a perfectly fine thing to be a bit over your calories.

    (Any one know if you hit right on your calories to the T if you get a prize? hehe!)
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
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    ...because today is a funeral and I *know* I'll be pigging out at the repass and will more than make up for yesterday, hehe.

    Is it wrong that you finishing a sentence about a funeral with "hehe" made me laugh? :-D

    LOL Not at all. :)
  • misslizz6958
    misslizz6958 Posts: 124 Member
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    Orrrrrr you could leave those people alone and let them diet the way they please.
  • baisleac
    baisleac Posts: 2,019 Member
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    (Any one know if you hit right on your calories to the T if you get a prize? hehe!)

    Nope... I hit "0" once... it turned red and bold. :angry:
  • BeLightYear
    BeLightYear Posts: 1,450 Member
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    OK I am going to piss some people off with my post but...here it goes.

    BUT...I also think that just because someone's status comes up "Sandy finished her diet and exercise diary and was below her calorie goal - or whatever it exactly says) is not necessarily a reason to say "way to go" or "good job".

    I refuse to encourage anyone's page that says that they are under calories. Yes, it is their choice to starve themselves, but I'm not going to endorse it!

    Very well written ~ thank you!:smile:
  • taiyola
    taiyola Posts: 964 Member
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    I agree! I looked at some people's diaries, and found a handful of people on my 'friends list' are eating 200-1000 calories a day. One girl was eating 200-300 EVERY DAY and still working out. She said this was only a short-term thing, but that isn't what I see this site as. I see it as a site to be healthier, not to do fad diets on starving yourself. I deleted said people!

    I'm going to start putting notes on my diaries!
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
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    Amen. Chronically under-eating is one thing. But when 3 people reply with "way to go" or "great job", I just cringe.

    There is the exception of a few people here who are working hard on recovering from eating disorders. They may not be up to those 1200-1400-1600-2000 levels yet, but they are making a real effort and getting better and better. That is the narrow exception, and they do deserve those kudos.

    The ones eating those sub-1000 calories all the time, due to plain old ignorance or superstition, despite numerous people trying to give good advice, don't deserve the kudos.

    After trying and trying, if we can't make a difference, the last option is to defriend, sadly.
  • LeonaB17
    LeonaB17 Posts: 304
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    Nothing wrong with 900 calories.
    You don't need 2000 calories. I mean if you eat that much, don't even complain about not losing weight because DUH.

    As for working out, how are you going to tone up if you don't?

    ...Is this a real post?

    Funny I was just wondering the same thing!
  • ladyhawk00
    ladyhawk00 Posts: 2,457 Member
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    Amen. Chronically under-eating is one thing. But when 3 people reply with "way to go" or "great job", I just cringe.

    There is the exception of a few people here who are working hard on recovering from eating disorders. They may not be up to those 1200-1400-1600-2000 levels yet, but they are making a real effort and getting better and better. That is the narrow exception, and they do deserve those kudos.

    The ones eating those sub-1000 calories all the time, due to plain old ignorance or superstition, despite numerous people trying to give good advice, don't deserve the kudos.

    After trying and trying, if we can't make a difference, the last option is to defriend, sadly.

    Yep. I try to be aware of each person's situation who's on my list. If I know of an issue they have (ED, sick, vacation, etc), I comment with that in mind. Otherwise I will give them constructive criticism. If they prefer not to take that advice, that's fine - but in that case I cannot support what I believe is unhealthy and unsafe.

    I give all of my friends all the support I can, but my own demons make it awfully hard to watch someone do damage to themselves. So I won't.
  • kaits108
    kaits108 Posts: 305 Member
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    (Any one know if you hit right on your calories to the T if you get a prize? hehe!)

    Nope... I hit "0" once... it turned red and bold. :angry:

    lol!!! ohhh man! i think it should turn pink and sparkly or something..humph!
  • eeeekie
    eeeekie Posts: 1,011 Member
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    Nothing wrong with 900 calories.
    You don't need 2000 calories. I mean if you eat that much, don't even complain about not losing weight because DUH.

    As for working out, how are you going to tone up if you don't?

    You've got to be joking...


    After looking at your profile I gather you're not joking. I'd just like to say you're incredibly wrong with your statement. It's VERY unhealthy. Being skinny and being HEALTHY are two different things and you can be both but obviously eating 900 calories or less a day just to be skinny ISN'T healthy. You obviously have food and body image issues. I hope for everyone's sake who reads that statement and has a fragile mind that they don't take your advice.
  • paul87920
    paul87920 Posts: 165 Member
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    My suggestion, ambiguous support.

    Example: C'mon, you can do this!

    Can be taken as "don't slack, make this work" or "great job keep going".
  • michelletyler38
    michelletyler38 Posts: 469 Member
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    This post gets posted A LOT..
  • SK24373
    SK24373 Posts: 36 Member
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    I will say it again..YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! I love the honest discussion, the suggestions, and the humor!

    Also I need to give a big shout out to Taso42 for pointing out that in some cases, people struggle with eating disorders and so for them to eat a "normal amount" for them should be commended.

    Thanks to most of you for a very productive discussion. You all have my support and respect!
  • Daisy374
    Daisy374 Posts: 539 Member
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    I see your point and agree.. I always view diaries before commenting.. and hope most of the people commenting on mine are reading mine. If for nothing else, then to give me advice if they see something that may be hindering my progress...

    However, I still congratulate my friends if they don't make their diaries public and it says they are under their calories.. But I am not
    congratulating them just on being under the calories (which is good if they are eating the calories they should be). I am saying wtg for logging and trying to do the right thing. If they are continuously eating under their calorie goal, then they are only hurting themselves and may be hindering their weight loss, and I can't help them unless they choose to make it public..
  • slimyfishy
    slimyfishy Posts: 114 Member
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    I agree wholeheartedly. However, I have said to a few (that have something like 500-1000 left to eat and still say they are done for the day) that I'm worried about them not fuelling their body. I remember once having a member seem a bit "snippy" about my response. I didn't say what I did to be a jerk. I was genuinely concerned.

    As a woman that runs and loves cardio (and still can't lose anything when I marathon train due to starving my body), I find it incredible that folks can lose and lose when they are starving their body. I know that we are all different. Our exercise intensity and fuel needs are different. I just know that there is NO WAY I can run 8, 10, 12 miles and only eat 900 calories a day. I never had the MFP tool when I trained before. It will be interesting to see how I do now that I can SEE my NET calories.

    I also agree that food/body image issues can go both ways. I tend to reach for food when I'm emotional. Others tend to not eat at all. They are BOTH wrong for a healthy body. I'm seeing quite a few folks on the HCG diet lately (the new fad). I don't know how folks can only eat 500 calories/day and think that is healthy. It reminds me of the grapefruit or rice diets in the 1980's or Atkins in the 1990s. Sure, you lose lots of weight when you are committed to it. What happens when you start eating again? How long can you last on an extremely restrictive diet? That's just not for me, thanks.

    I don't eat all of my exercise calories, but I DO make sure that my NET calories around between 1300-1400 cal/day. Some days, that means that I eat 2000 calories. That sounds like a TON to my brain, but I know that my body needs the fuel. I'm in this to get healthy and slim down. I'm not expecting to drop the weight overnight, because I know that I wouldn't stick with a drastic diet. I'm in this from now on.

    I do encourage others (when they are under or over). I do mention that I'm concerned if they are way under in calories. If folks don't like my concern, they can always unfriend me. :laugh:

    Shan :wink:
  • momofcole
    momofcole Posts: 18
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    I agree wholeheartedly. However, I have said to a few (that have something like 500-1000 left to eat and still say they are done for the day) that I'm worried about them not fuelling their body. I remember once having a member seem a bit "snippy" about my response. I didn't say what I did to be a jerk. I was genuinely concerned.

    As a woman that runs and loves cardio (and still can't lose anything when I marathon train due to starving my body), I find it incredible that folks can lose and lose when they are starving their body. I know that we are all different. Our exercise intensity and fuel needs are different. I just know that there is NO WAY I can run 8, 10, 12 miles and only eat 900 calories a day. I never had the MFP tool when I trained before. It will be interesting to see how I do now that I can SEE my NET calories.

    I also agree that food/body image issues can go both ways. I tend to reach for food when I'm emotional. Others tend to not eat at all. They are BOTH wrong for a healthy body. I'm seeing quite a few folks on the HCG diet lately (the new fad). I don't know how folks can only eat 500 calories/day and think that is healthy. It reminds me of the grapefruit or rice diets in the 1980's or Atkins in the 1990s. Sure, you lose lots of weight when you are committed to it. What happens when you start eating again? How long can you last on an extremely restrictive diet? That's just not for me, thanks.

    I don't eat all of my exercise calories, but I DO make sure that my NET calories around between 1300-1400 cal/day. Some days, that means that I eat 2000 calories. That sounds like a TON to my brain, but I know that my body needs the fuel. I'm in this to get healthy and slim down. I'm not expecting to drop the weight overnight, because I know that I wouldn't stick with a drastic diet. I'm in this from now on.

    I do encourage others (when they are under or over). I do mention that I'm concerned if they are way under in calories. If folks don't like my concern, they can always unfriend me. :laugh:

    Shan :wink:
    I have thought a lot about the things you are talking about and just wanted to say this post really helped me out. :)
  • amjmomma
    amjmomma Posts: 41
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    Nothing wrong with 900 calories.
    You don't need 2000 calories. I mean if you eat that much, don't even complain about not losing weight because DUH.

    As for working out, how are you going to tone up if you don't?

    ...Is this a real post?
    My thoughts exactly. 900 calories are WAY TOO FEW!! For anyone! I know it shows that I have only lost 3 pounds on this site, but I have lost 60 from my highest weight. So, I really do know what I am talking about. If you don't believe me, look at what personal trainers (ie. Bob, Jill, and anyone else who knows what they are talking about in a professional sense) have to say on it. I can remember an episode of Biggest Loser when Jill got mad at one of the contestants for only eating 1000 calories. Granted, they were working out five or six hours a day, but still...in order to lose weight, you have to eat. It seems contradictory, but it's the absolute truth. Just be sure that you are eating the right things. I also agree with the many comments about having a target RANGE rather than a certain AMOUNT of calories daily. One calorie over your goal and you are screwed. Has anyone asked the creator of the site to change that? Maybe we all should!

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