Rethinking Willpower

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callipygianchronicle
callipygianchronicle Posts: 811 Member
in Motivation and Support
I was led to this blog by one of my MFP friends, and felt the wisdom of this post was too good not to share.

FTA:
“Will power is not the same as directing your thinking. Will power is trying to take action without changing the thought driving the initial action.”
Brooke Castillo

Now, I have a three firm beliefs:

1. I don’t believe in willpower.
2. We can’t change our unwanted behaviors without unwinding the thoughts and feelings that drive them.
3. Rinse. Repeat.

Read the full post here: http://www.nourishingcircle.com/on-willpower/

Thoughts?

Replies

  • Mindful_Trent
    Mindful_Trent Posts: 3,954 Member
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    I don't know that I necessarily agree with the blogger's definition of willpower (that it means fighting against our natural tendencies), but I do like the overall message of this blog - that our fitness/health journies should *not* be a constant struggle involving us fighting against ourselves. If it is, then we are either doing it wrong or aren't really in touch with ourselves. This particular portion of the blog spoke to me:
    There is no need for willpower when you are in alignment with who you are, your true value and your true beliefs.

    That is it. Because being your awesome self is enough. There is no need to fight against and control your truest desires. Your happiest and healthiest life comes when you are in sync with your divine nature and honor who you are.

    Now, now, I know what you must be thinking. But, what about my desire to eat chocolate cake all day?

    Yeah, um, I’ll tell it to you straight (cuz that is just who I am).

    That isn’t your true desire.

    That is your mind buying into the belief that you must fit into a box and that you have to change who you are. And you want cake to cover that sinking feeling that you can’t seem to achieve what everyone else expects of you.
  • Black_Swan
    Black_Swan Posts: 770 Member
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    I agree with accountant!
  • spackham
    spackham Posts: 252 Member
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    That's how it works for me. Change the thinking that is causing the need for "willpower." People who need willpower are diet-minded people who believe you should never have certain foods and consider it a breakdown in your will if you do. Well, I changed my thinking and if 3 M&Ms are calling my name and it is worth it to me, I have them and fit it in my calories. The great thing about it is that I desire them less and less and less. I don't even need willpower over M&Ms any more. I can have them, I just choose not to most of the time.
  • catofisis
    catofisis Posts: 34
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    That's an interesting point, thanks for posting this Yolanda. My first instinct was not to agree - although using willpower can be stressful in itself, I can think of situations in life when it is needed.

    However, this got me thinking about how it relates to eating - and how the "willpower" approach to diet (abstinence) has never worked for me in the past... some more to think about on this one...
  • pinkgigi
    pinkgigi Posts: 693 Member
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    Thank you Yolanda, I really enjoyed that post, it has made me think about whether my behaviours are a true reflectionof my values and desires.

    Thanks again
    GG
  • suzieqdiva
    suzieqdiva Posts: 183 Member
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    Sorry for this being long -
    There is no need for willpower when you are in alignment with who you are, your true value and your true beliefs.

    That is it. Because being your awesome self is enough. There is no need to fight against and control your truest desires. Your happiest and healthiest life comes when you are in sync with your divine nature and honor who you are.

    Now, now, I know what you must be thinking. But, what about my desire to eat chocolate cake all day?

    Yeah, um, I’ll tell it to you straight (cuz that is just who I am).

    That isn’t your true desire.

    That is your mind buying into the belief that you must fit into a box and that you have to change who you are. And you want cake to cover that sinking feeling that you can’t seem to achieve what everyone else expects of you.

    You’re acting and the cake helps you cope with that.

    Your true desire is to line up with yourself, jump out of the damn box and live out loud. Be who you truly want to be. Thrive.

    And it will take some guts, some courage and a fierce desire to love yourself completely.

    I have been having a lot of peaks & valleys since I have been here.. and today was a struggle... so that got to thinking maybe my attitude needs taking a look at... so when I came upon this blog (thanks for the share Yolanda) it made sense.. because when I am working on a project or choreographing a dance piece.... I tend to loose myself in the creative process or trying to solve a problem... and time & effort do not count. I can go without a lot to get to where I want to go.... so then why is it that I am having trouble here? Because somewhere deep down I have not made peace with myself about giving up my favorite foods OR not turning to food for comfort.. and I need to do some work on that... and what Christie is saying makes sense to me. Caz once I want it bad enough.. it will not be a sacrifice.. but a pleasure..and I will need no coaxing:-)
  • lhope4
    lhope4 Posts: 1
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    Hi - great thoughts posted here. I would challenge you that your WILLpower is getting a bad rap. Most of of are really just using WISH power when comes to the things we want to change. As WILLlpower is a noun (something tangible - person, place or thing - WISH is not a noun), it is actually a "thing" in our being - similar to the noun muscle, that can be trained and developed. Just like I train my muscles, (and sometimes I can be a little lax on my program) - but the overall picture is that I have great muscle definition because I practise it on a regular basis - I create the reality that allows me to stay in control of healthy weight and muscle tone. Willpower can be your best friend when you create the reality that you know you can use it when the time comes, such as when that workout is due and you aren't really feeling like making it happen that day!
  • SusieB01
    SusieB01 Posts: 89
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    This is a neat post!

    I'm not sure if I agree or disagree, but it started the thought process. A lot of people have the idea that there are certain foods that can't be eaten on a 'diet' and that their willpower must be weak if they breakdown and eat them. Actually, a healthier attitude is to learn how to eat anything and handle it constructively. To realize that you are human and not a machine, and as such, you will fail on occasion. But to know what to do if and when that happens. Not to give up on the things that are important to you--be it weight loss, or something on a larger, grander scale just because you don't do it "right". Who's to say what's right for you except you? Do it your own way!
  • inge88
    inge88 Posts: 184 Member
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    I found this forum by accident, but it really helped me today. Something to think about.
    Thought I'd bump it so that other people get a chance to read this too!

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