Boyfriend not on board

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  • komplexlysimple
    komplexlysimple Posts: 48
    My husband tells me all the time that I'm fine...sexy ect., but when we first started dating I was 50lbs lighter. I remember him making the comment on several occassions that he wasn't attracted to "fat" women. He knows i'm not confortable in my body now so he just goes with the fact that I'm trying to lose weight. On the other hand....I get the feeling he tries to sabotoge me. Knowing that I am watching what I eat....he'll go to the store and come back with candy or ice cream sandwiches for me. Or he'll cook, but put bbq sauce or other things on the food that I shouldn't eat. I used to ask him to keep me on track if he saw that I was veering away, but he wouldn't. He would be right there asking me if I wanted some McDonalds at 2am. He asked me before if I was going to leave him once I lost weight (jokingly)....but part of me doesnt think that it was entirely a joke.... :-(

    ^^^^^^ This is my boyfriend!!! He tells me he likes my body, but I think he is just trying to keep me fat.


    Men...I tell ya! Smh I feel the same way. We just have to keep each other motivated and then BAM! Lol I bet they wont have any complaints once the weight is gone.

    They better not!!! Just stay focused!!!!
  • cbratthauer
    cbratthauer Posts: 228 Member
    My fiance always tells me I look fine and don't need to lose weight, but I have gained 20 lbs in the 2 years we have been together. He claims he doesn't see it but it's there... However, he at least is supportive and doesn't eat fatty foods around me. He even got a gym membership so we could tone up together. I think it's sweet that your boyfriend loves you for you, but he should also be supportive of you and what you want to do. I think having a serious talk with him about being supportive is in order!
  • calliope_music
    calliope_music Posts: 1,242 Member
    my husband sometimes has difficulty being supportive, but i don't think he's doing it on purpose. he's 6'1" and weighs like, 150 lbs. he's active and naturally has a high metabolism. i think he's just completely oblivious to nutrition information - he knows what he likes, and will buy it. he does get upset when i don't want to go out for like, fried things, but he's learned to deal!
  • AndrewTheWise
    AndrewTheWise Posts: 42
    I think it is funny how you can let yourself go when you are with someone. I was engaged for a little over a year, and during that time I put on about 40lbs. This is really upsetting since I really didn't notice until it was too late. Usually, the person you are with cares about you, and they don't want to hurt your feelings. Their parents programmed them to lie and tell the one they love that they are perfect the way they are. I'll admit, some people look perfect. Plain and simple.

    Here is the rub; every person that dates another average person will find many faults with their signifigant other. We just look beyond all of that and say they are perfect. In the end, that's why I am staying alone for a while. I am much happier being alone, and I will not constantly lie to myself. For others, it is not so easy. You get tangled up and infatuated with someone, and you can't let them go. I know exactly how that is. All I am trying to say, is that you should not let the other person get you down simply because you desire a better body and longer lifespan. Tell them you are doing what you love to do: Be healthy.
  • amitybs
    amitybs Posts: 35

    Now on the other hand, those men that are actually trying to sabotage your goals by trying to have you eat food you are trying to avoid and things along that line... You need to kick their *kitten* to the curb!!!! And you need to put it to them that way, "ethier support me or get the hell out my way!"

    Just my humble opinion..

    Seeing it in writing from someone else validates the feelings. Thanks Big Ed!
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