UNsupportive partner/spouse

She's horrible...you need to find someone who supports you in WHATEVER you do. There is a blog on here I just read this morning about a husband who is supportive in everything she does. Read that. You deserve that. My husband would NEVER say anything like that to me. YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER THAN HER!!!!

I posted my response to this issue in a blog a few weeks ago: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/CoryIda/view/it-s-up-to-me-76999

I'll also paste it here:

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I've heard a lot of people say they are struggling with their weight loss because their spouse doesn't support them. That is really unfortunate, but I wanted to share my perspective based on my experience.

I've been on this journey back to health since mid September and at first my husband just humored me. I honestly don't think he thought I could actually do this.

I met him 6 years ago and I quickly gained a LOT of weight (about 70 pounds). He's only ever known me as fat. Furthermore, he's fat, too. He likes pizza and ice cream and chips and seconds and thirds of his meals. I didn't do the pizza or ice cream because I am allergic to milk, but I certainly did other greasy, fatty foods in massive quantities.

I wasn't exactly the poster child for self control, so it's no wonder that he wasn't 100% behind me from the beginning. He didn't discourage me, which is nice, since some spouses do, but he didn't do a lot to help, either.

I think that's actually a good thing because it forced me to take FULL RESPONSIBILITY for my choices. I could choose to eat healthy, even if he didn't. I could choose to limit my portions, even if he didn't. I could choose to get my butt moving, even if he didn't.

When it comes down to it, our spouses/significant others are not responsible for our health. We are.

I've lost almost 65 pounds now (**Actually, as of today, it's almost 75 pounds), and my hubby is becoming more supportive and has even dabbled in getting healthier himself. He's not quite ready to commit, yet, but he is reaping some of the benefits of my lifestyle in that he really doesn't have a choice about eating healthier, since we really only keep nutritious foods in the house now and I'm the one who cooks. He even occasionally works out, though not often. Oh, and of course there's the bonus benefit of having a more attractive wife -- I'm pretty sure he doesn't mind that side effect.

I think that if I had relied on my husband to support me and challenge me to get healthy, I would have failed because, the moment he stopped pushing, I would have reverted back to my old habits.

Instead, I made the decision to get healthy and have acted on that decision by practicing self-control in what I eat and how I move my body.

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I'll probably get lambasted for this one, But I think you should cut her some slack and have a heart to heart when you are both in a better mood.
It sounds like she has been supportive in the past and maybe she feels unappreciated. Maybe she was having a bad day and needed something for herself. We all have those days where we just need to B**** and we take it out on the wrong person.

I think you should thank her for the support she has given you in the past and tell her you appreciate it and you have lost 44lbs since you first met her. In the future tell her what you want. Sometime you just need to say it to someone to get it out and if you tell you want a bag of chips, you are just looking for her to help distract you.

Part of being best friends is communicating. You can't assume the other one will always read your mind. I hope you can work it out with her and get the support you need.

Best wishes.

I'm with Corylda and Dlaplume2... It's too much of a burden for anyone to be accountable for your happiness or success. Having someone who always has your back is nice, but it's still all on you. You still need to make the choices to eat right and exercise, or sit on the couch and eat bon-bons. (Which, honestly, sounds like a perfect choice today, but I'm still going to get my tush to the gym in a bit.)

And you can do this. You're already doing it!

My boyfriend doesn't really know how to respond when I say things like "God, I really just want to eat a Big Mac and large fries and wash it down with a large coke." He is proud of me in being more healthy, but I think that me saying the craving out loud makes him confused on how to respond. Really, I just want him to hold my hand and say "we'll make it through this together", but ultimately I have to make the decision on my own. He is not a stupid person, but sometimes he's just not in the right frame of mind to respond the way I want him to. And yes, I said *want* not *need*.

Hopefully your girlfriend comes around after she sees you putting your all into something. It also could be that she doesn't understand what kind of undertaking it is to cut calories, eat healthier and get your butt moving. To her, she eats what she wants and stays the same weight. Maybe have a calm talk when you're not angry, and try and communicate that to her. Hopefully she will meet you halfway and text back with "I know you can do this!".

So here's the thing... You know her, you know how she is. Why on earth did her response surprise you? I know you want her to care more and show more support but it's just not who she is. You keep expecting her to change and it's not gonna happen. You're not going to be doing this on your own and you know that. I love you and I'm here whenever you need me, but don't expect her to hold you up. That's your job!!!