"Sticks and Stones..."

Not sure how to respond to this, except that you need friends to support your decisions and be there for you no matter what. I've sent you a friend request. This site has helped me so much, and the support here is awesome. I wish you all the best in your journey!

have you tried actually telling your family such comments hurt you?
some folks (sadly) tend to be unaware of the way their comments really make us feel inside, and need to be actually told.

it may not stop everyone from saying thoughtless things... but may help make some more aware that you are simply not happy as you are, you want to do what you can to change that, and need their help by not making you feel 'bad' by the comments they make, as to succeed you need to find positive influences ('cause the negative ones have not worked to date *S*)

worth a try? *S*
good luck in your journey.. you've come to the right place for sure.

I'm sad for you that your family does not know how to be supportive when you're struggling.

I never really got comments from my family, except my mother would occasionally suggest I do weight watchers with her...I have been on MFP for a while and started my healthier lifestyle about 6 weeks ago, and last night had a detailed conversation with her about it for the first time...and she is SO excited to see me (we live in the same city but only get together once a month or so) that I had to say, gee I've only dropped 10 pounds, I'm really not gonna look that different! But it's nice to know the support is there...

I got more comments/attitude from people who didn't really know me (and who didn't know me for the first 32 years of my life when I was skinny and athletic)...and when I would take offense at "fat jokes" my guy friends make, they were surprised, like they didn't perceive me as a fat woman...but anyway, feel free to friend me, I am always up for talking to people

Ellen

Thats just plain MEAN. Family suppose to be there to support you through the hard times in life. But I understand your pain. You should just tell people that you are trying to make a change in your lifestyle and to please respect that and keep their comments to theirselves. Eventually your hard work through diet and exercise they will see how hard you have been workin. We are your support when you need it. Here at MFP its like we all are a big family! Good Luck to you, and you can add me to your friends list if you want additional support.

Hi,
They say the things they say because it makes them feel better about themselves. There are things about themselves they hate, too, but if you're obviously big you are an easier target.
I'm sure you can do it and I would urge you to use this community, they are very supportive, but I'll leave you with one more piece of advice.......even when you lose the weight, those same people will pick fault with you, probably tell you you've lost too much weight etc. It's because they're jealous, because you finally did what you said you would do and changed something major in your life, but they haven't had the courage to do that.
You'll soon find out who your real friends are and don't worry about pleasing others, no matter what you do they'll never be happy with the way you are, so BE YOURSELF and stuff them!

Wishing you all the best xxxxx

What it boils down to is... YOU.

Those comments are hurtful, yes. You cannot change the people who say them. The only thing you can change is you. They are rude and unsupportive, thats their problem.

It's easier said than done, but it's your choice whether those comments affect you. If you want to beat the game, you have to change the way you see it. Take those comments witha grain of salt and turn them around in your head. "That may be how he/she sees me, but that's not how I see me. My opinion of me is all that matters."

You can walk away. Who cares if so and so will be offended if you do not eat their food. Does she care if her comments hurt you? Obviously not. Stand proud and say it loud, "No thanks, I'm not hungry." and walk away. Let her think what she wants, it's not your problem. It only becomes your problem if you let her get to you and you give in to her. Don't do it. There is confidence within you, pull it out. When they say we need someone hefty to carry Grandpa upstairs, you turn it araound, "I'm strong enough to do what they cannot do because I am a healthy and fit person." Doesn't matter if you are not at the moment, say those words to yourself often, "I am healthy and fit." Thoughts held in mind, produce after their kind.

Don't explain anything to anyone, you don't owe anybody a dammmm thang girl! Get up, chin up, and do what you need to do for you and only YOU.

Get it girl!!

I feel your pain:/

My parents & sister are very, very supportive. However, my in-laws & step grandmother have said things like that to me. I've heard things like, "Wow! Your belly is getting huge..are you sure you're not pregnant?" or "You've gained so much weight lately, I bet you're going broke trying to buy new clothes to fit!" or "You don't go hungry much do you? You look corn fed." (cows are fed corn to fatten them up before slaughter)

My husband is supportive, in his own way, I suppose. His idea of motivation used to be yelling "run, fat *kitten*, run" while running past me on the track. He also liked to say things like "are you sure you want to eat that?" Which in turn (because I'm so stubborn) resulted in me getting upset & eating it all just to spite him. That was until I finally told him how hurtful his comments were...He really didn't realize he was hurting my feelings! Maybe your family doesn't either? I haven't found the courage to stand up to my in-laws yet & I don't think it would change anything for some of them but I know it would be worth a try. It's all very frustrating:/

Bottomline...it hurts like hell to hear these things but I've learned to let them propel me forward instead of hold me back. It took a while, I had convinced myself that they were right & this was as good I was ever going to be. That's simply not true though, I'm better than that & so are you honey!

The people on MFP are amazing...stick with them & you'll find nothing but support, guidance & sympathy when needed. It's an amazing feeling knowing that you have so many people, who don't even know you, whole heartedly supporting you in your journey towards a better, healthier life! Feel free to add me if you wish:)

Hi, there are ways of letting people know that their behaviour is not acceptable to you in a polite manner. Nobody deserves to be spoken to like that by anyone! Yes, you can control how much you let comments hurt but they show a complete lack of respect.

I would either tell them that their comments may be made in jest but that they hurt and therefore please stop. If they do not respect your feelings, don't go there. You do not need to go somewhere where you will be picked on. Your husband should support that decision as well.


Oh, Congrats on losing the 1/2kg! :happy:

Wow, first of all I would like to encourage you to set your goal, stick to your goal and yes even tell the world your goal. It saddens me to hear you are verbally under attack. On behalf of them and all, I would like to say Forgive me and them I am sorry. But, one would have to ask themselves what is the purpose of you being attacked? could it be you are destined for greater things, could it be as you lose weight, get fit, and forgive those who have maliciously hurt you that you will trueley be free from not only their persecution but all persection. Because hurt people hurt people. I would like to bless you to be an overcomer and a champion not only for yourself but also for those around you God Bless you.