Is it wrong to change an otherwise awesome doctor solely bec
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Maybe Im pushing my own issues on her? I just know how crappy I feel when one of my friends who is a lot smaller than me go on and on about the weight they need to lose. Im like if you think you are fat...I must look like a big *kitten* cow to you lol
DUDE she's your doctor! she's not going to be offended by your PERSONAL decision to lose weight. she knows it doesn't have anything to do with her!0 -
On a side note, I had a doctor with a similar situation. After about 6 years of having similar conversations with my OB - I came into an annual and she had lost all of her extra weight. She explained that she had been going through a lot of personal issues and that was something that she had been unable to focus on.
So - I think if she is great everywhere else, you should keep her. It is another sign that we all have our own demons to fight.
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I would take the time to discuss it with her first. I can't see your lower half but judging from your picture you don't look anywhere near morbid obese to me. And a lot of black women pride themselves on being thick. Perhaps since you never brought it up she didn't figure it was a problem for you. My doctor is a little petite woman and she has never ever talked to me about my weight but I sure wouldn't hesitate to bring it up to her I had concerns.0
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Some doctors worry about dwelling too much on weight--especially in young women, because they are more concerned with eating disorders. I agree with most of the others and suggest that you speak openly about your health concerns and your focus. If she gives you sound advice and support--usually awesome doctors will do this--stay with that doctor. Good Luck! I understand how uncomfortable it is to talk about weight with someone who is either very heavy or very thin.0
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She is not meeting your needs, especially by not discussing weightloss when you showed signs of pre-diabetes. whether or not she is overweight is not exactly the problem. if you have access to another doctor, I would switch.
good luck!0 -
I've had a skinny doctor who completely brushed me off when I asked for help losing weight and getting healthy. She was definitely a fitness buff and I don't know if she understood how hard it was to lose pounds. In the end I had to practically fight to have a thyroid test done.
I guess my point is that, no, her lifestyle is no reflection on whether or not she is a good doctor and would be willing to help you.0 -
I don't know what kind of doctor she is... but most doctors aren't well versed in nutrition... they only know medication and how the body works... heart doctors are knowledgeable about how a heart works and how to fix it... foot doctors about feet. OBGYN know babies and lady parts...
Just because they are a doctor doesn't mean they are all knowing in the Health department...
they may notice that you are over weight and need to lose weight, but they dont' know what to tell you other than, you should adjust your diet and to see a nutiritonist or a dietcian about it...
My sister in law is currently going to the doctor for Endometriosis problems... there are tons of books that say that changing your diet can significantly decrease the pain of endo treatments...., She asked her doctor if this was true.. the doctor said that she had no clue and that she was trained in medicine not nutrition.
It doesn't mean they are bad doctors or unknowledgeable... its just not their field of expertise.
they could probably give you a pamphlet, but other than that. they aren't going to be able to aid in your weight loss....
Now like I said I have no idea what kind of doctor you are going to.... but that is my advice.. I doubt she knows hardly anything about nutrition..
as far as the obese trainer question... why not... just because they are struggling with their own personal issues doesn't mean they cant help you get to your goals. I think it is a judgemental thing to get past... Ask yourself... do you like being judged on your physical appearance?0 -
I have to disagree with what you said. You pay your doctor to keep you healthy. It's their JOB. If her doctor saw that she was heading toward being pre-diabetic, it's her responsibility to educate the patient about contributing factors including her weight. Whether it makes her uncomfortable or not. I work in a medical school where we educate future health professionals. It's their responsibility to educate their patients, as much as it is to write them a prescription or order an x-ray. However, most medical professionals do not specialize in diet and nutrition and get very little of that in medical school, so I would ask for a referral to a nutritionist or dietician, someone who studied that specifically.tough topic.... my own thin good looking man doctor never brought up my weight. Yeah, he's my doctor, not my parent. As an adult, if you have concerns it is your responsibility to bring it up, not the doctor's. If you feel uncomfotable bringing up anything with you doc, maybe she's not the right one for you0 -
:huh: I have been going back and forth about this for about a month. Im trying to decide if I should change doctors. I have recently become dedicated to getting in shape and becoming healthier. My doctor is significantly heavier than me and I find it awkward to mention my need for weightloss when she obviously needs to lose weight too. In addition, I have been overweight for three years now and she has never mentioned a problem with my weight. Even when I began showing signs of being prediabetic. Is this because she is uncomfortable with her weight and doesnt feel comfortable giving me that advice? Does her being obese make her any less qualified to give me advice? I do realize that if I find a smaller doctor that doesnt mean they live a healthy lifestyle...but it sure makes it less awkward to talk about my weightloss. What do you guys think?:huh:
It depends. If you don't feel comfortable talking to her about it, yes.
If you can, talk to her about it, and then decide.
She may feel like a hypocrite and that is why she doesn't say anything. Just because she is human and lets her emotions in doesn't mean she is less qualified. Maybe if you have been seeing her for a while she didn't want to hound you about it. She might have mentioned it to you at a time when you weren't open to listening and you gave her the impression you weren't there yet. Just because you didn't hear it doesn't mean she didn't say anything about your weight.
I guess it all depends on whether you feel comfortable enough to talk to her about it. You should be able to talk to your doctor about anything. Those are the questions you need to answer to decide.
Best wishes.0 -
I would say, give her the benefit of the doubt and talk openly about your weight goal and concerns. Share with her that you are curious why she has never mentioned it as a possible contribution to your prediabetes condition as you have since learned that this is a key driver?
Based on how she handles that question you will learn where she was (or wasn't coming from). Hopefully, it was not a matter of incompetence but rather a false assumption on her part that you already knew that. You may actually teach her something that other patients could benefit from!0 -
Its not that simple. As a doctor shouldnt she have warned me about the dangers of my weight? Advised me to lose weight to prevent diabetes? If her own personal struggle affects how she advises me....shouldnt I change doctors?
Sounds to me like you've answered your own question
...your questions seem to indicate you have concerns about her ability to be completely honest & accurate in her medical advice/treatment of you JMHO :flowerforyou: 0 -
Maybe she's had one too many patient tell her that because she's overweight herself she's hypocritical to mention their weight, so now only brings up the subject with obese patients.
I wouldn't assume that she does not know about healthy eating and weight loss, she may simply not be prepared to make the effort for herself. Many doctors smoke, it doesn't mean they don't know the risks.
My feeling is that you won't find the answer on here, only bringing up the subject with her is going to reveal whether or not she's the right doctor for you. If you're wary of seeming personal and critical of her weight, you could couch it in terms of your finding that you personally no longer feel fit enough to do the things you'd like to be able to do.
Of course, if she really is awesome in all other ways, you could keep her as a doctor and see a specialist for the weight loss / fitness advice - which would probably be far better anyway.0 -
i have a thin doctor who has never made any remark about me needed to lose weight. a person being fat or "obese" does not inherently suggest that they are unhealthy, and i think most informed doctors know that. your doctor must not have been concerned about your weight. i'm sure if YOU brought it up as a concern, she would be able to counsel you and make some professional recommendations, as i'm sure she has for many of her patients.
her body size/weight/appearance is absolutely NONE of your business and it means nothing about her ability to diagnose and treat medical conditions.
i agree completely0 -
hi, my doctor is one of those tiny twig men who i could sit on and squash like a bug. sometimes i want to do just that. i go through the va for my medical care and you get who you get. he is not a good doctor at all and i keep him because it is very hard to change doctors unless you move almost clear across the state. if your doctor has taken care of you in the past and you feel she is competient to do her job then keep her. my doctor never really mentioned my weight as an issue until i told him last month that i wanted to loose weight. he says doctors do notice what we weight but unless it is signifigantly effecting our health he tries not to mention it. he goes over my labs with me every time i go in because i asked him to. it's not something that he normally does with his patients unless they ask. he pointed out that doctors have many patients and not always alot of time to cover everything. he told me that everyone has differant health concerns but unless we address them then he is not going to. i started taking a notebook along with me so that i could write down ahead of time all my questions and i don't leave anymore until they are all answered. as far as being a diabetic goes. there are thin people who go undiagnosed with it and die. it is not just a heavy persons disease. as a patient you have a job to do to. if you haven't ever asked your doctor about any of your personal concerns before i would ask her and then if you feel your personal health concerns aren't met then by all means switch.0
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Thanks for the great advice everyone. I think I am going to set an appointment and talk to her about my goals and how to get there. I shouldnt do anything based on assumptions. Good point about that most doctors dont specialize in the specifics of nutrition and fitness....Maybe I will set down with a personal trainer and a nutritionists. I think she is a keeper : ) Did I mention she went to Harvard and could probably be working somewhere that pays her a heck of a lot more money but instead she does a sliding scale for broke uninsured folks like me 0
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"Its not that simple. As a doctor shouldnt she have warned me about the dangers of my weight? Advised me to lose weight to prevent diabetes? If her own personal struggle affects how she advises me....shouldnt I change doctors?"
THIS IS YOUR LIFE, YOUR HEALTH AND YOUR WELLNESS THAT YOU ARE TRUSTING TO A PROFESSIONAL.
Yes, she should have warned you. I just got a new Dr. and he reviewed my history and labs. My cholesterol has been elevated for about 3 years as well as my LDL..and triglycerides. The other dr.s kept saying they are on the low side of high, take fish oil and exercise. This new Dr. reviewed my family history, my father died at 62 of a heart attack. This Dr. put me on a cholesterol lowering med. to get my cholesterol down while I am starting this new diet and exercise program. He said because of my high BMI and family hx. I am at risk for heart attack or stroke. He was very honest and caring....did not make me feel bad about being obese but he also stated the risk of obesity. He was very fit. I just started seeing a nutritionist and feel that my diet is much better thanks to her advice and MFP. Thie new Dr. also wants me to be on fish oil, baby asa as well as Lipitor. The nutritionist has given me great advice here.
The bottom line is your Dr. herself is unhealthy and making bad choices. It would be very hard to take diet and exercise advice from her even if everything she was saying was correct. People, including myself don't want to be judge by our weight but the fact of the matter, for what ever reason, we have been over eating and under exercising. We can't hide our problem like an alcoholic or a drug user. It is out there for the world to see and yes, people do judge us. Medical people tend to tiptoe around obesity issues and don't want to hurt our feelings but it does nothing to help our health.0 -
If you do decide to keep your doctor and she sees you have lost weight maybe she would be interested in how you did it and you may become an inspiration to her . Maybe we will meet her on the board soon. There may be something going on in her life that has her stuck in her situtation.0
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I think it says that she is going to do the best for herself, even if her doctor won't!Please don't hate me.....but if you stop seeing her just because she is fat....what does that say about you?
I'm in a similar situation but I kind of like it because I don't have a doctor that blames every ailment on my weight, nor does she badger me about losing weight. Although she is very supportive when I do.
I think you have to do what is best for you. If you need a doctor that will be there to help you through this journey, go for it! Good luck!0 -
Yes, it is wrong to change doctors solely because they are obese. Frankly, that is discrimination. If you are looking at changing doctors because you don't click or you don't think she is advising you correctly that is an entirely different situation.
I think you may be doing a bit too much mind-reading. Doctor/patient relationship is professional relationship. You are not friends with your doctor, maybe friendly, but usually not actually friends. There is no reason for your doctor to feel bad that you set a goal to lose weight. IMO a doctor not bringing something up because of their own issues is very rare. Maybe there was a different reason she didn’t bring it up. The doctors and nurses I know are more likely to bring an issue up if they have had personal experience with it. .
The nutritionist I go to is overweight. She has lost 80+ pounds, but is still overweight. I actually love that she has been where I've been and I know that she understands my struggles. Yes, I would go to an obese personal trainer too. IMO it is sad when people discriminate against overweight and obese people.0 -
Most of the doctors I know are overweight. I wouldn't even consider getting rid of an overweight doctor. It's not their job to tell you to lose weight. It's their job to support you should you decide to lose weight. I think most people would be up in arms about their doctor telling them to lose weight unsolicited.0
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Thanks for the great advice everyone. I think I am going to set an appointment and talk to her about my goals and how to get there. I shouldnt do anything based on assumptions. Good point about that most doctors dont specialize in the specifics of nutrition and fitness....Maybe I will set down with a personal trainer and a nutritionists. I think she is a keeper : ) Did I mention she went to Harvard and could probably be working somewhere that pays her a heck of a lot more money but instead she does a sliding scale for broke uninsured folks like me
That a reason to keep her right there!0 -
I think that if she is a great Doctor (hard to come by these days) and you are happy with her in all areas of the healthcare she has provided to you then stay with her. Talk to her about your weight concerns and your need to become healthier over all.
If she is as good a doctor as you believe her to be then she will frankly discuss the topic with you reguardless of her own discomfort.
Consider the fact that she may not have felt you would take her seriously had she brought the subject up to you considering her obvious obesity, given that fact, also consider that she may also not feel that because she can not help herself in this struggle that she may not be qualified to help you either.
I would say TALK to her, the discomfort level on both yours and your Dr's side maybe a little stressful at the beginging of the conversation but in the long run it will help you both bridge that gap in your patient/ Dr. relationship so that in the future you can continue to go to her and recieve the great healthcare you have been reciving without the discomfort.
If nothing else she may be able to refer you to a nutrisionist who can better help you understand your weightt loss needs.
Dr's can and will diagnose obesity and they do know the basics of nutrition but they are not specialist in nutritional needs especially not that of a person trying to maintain the proper blood sugar lvls you need to keep from falling into the diabetic zone.
Good Luck!!0 -
Its not that simple. As a doctor shouldnt she have warned me about the dangers of my weight? Advised me to lose weight to prevent diabetes? If her own personal struggle affects how she advises me....shouldnt I change doctors?
DId you really need your doctor to tell you these things. If she has met your needs in other areas, I would not change because she has her own struggles with weight. Remember professional athletes are routinely coached by people who can not do what they are training the pro to do.0 -
My cousin is a doctor that smokes and she preaches to her patients about not smoking all day. I told her she was a hypocrite and she said that it is her job to tell folks about their health, not be a role model. Your doctor should be trying to save your life. Period. If she doesn't seem to do that, then bring up the issue and see if she is supportive. She may be full of information that she wants to share but thought you didn't want to hear it coming from someone who has the same problem.0
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I don't get it. You're a paying customer, not their friend.
If you prefer the services of another professional or if you simply do not want their services anymore, you owe them no explanation.0 -
I have been overweight for three years now and she has never mentioned a problem with my weight. Even when I began showing signs of being prediabetic.
I'm asking this in a "truly curious, not being a snarky *kitten*" kind of way - how did you know you were prediabetic if it wasn't mentioned to you?0 -
I don't get it. You're a paying customer, not their friend.
If you prefer the services of another professional or if you simply do not want their services anymore, you owe them no explanation.
Except she just said she was uninsured.....0 -
I don't get it. You're a paying customer, not their friend.
If you prefer the services of another professional or if you simply do not want their services anymore, you owe them no explanation.
Except she just said she was uninsured.....
Lots of doctors use a sliding pay scale for cash customers based on their ability to pay. They are quite common.0 -
i was thinkin that maybe u'll inspire her 2 lose weight. how awesome would it b that u included her on ur journer? such as askin her opinions on what health-wise u could do. such as takin vitamins & what not. everytime u go in & she see's ur numbers improving maybe that'll inspire her 2 lose weight. ask ur questions abt y she didn't say anythin abt ur becoming pre-diabetic. what kind of improvement in ur numbers can u expect if u lost just 5-10% of ur body weight? or just 5lbs? :flowerforyou:0
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An overweight doctor might have more experience with trying to lose weight than a thin one who has never struggled with their weight. She might not have brought up weight before because she might have figured that you were aware of your weight and she was trying to respect your intelligence. I know I have talked to friends who are overweight and it annoys them when their doctors bring it up, because they feel like, "duh, don't you think I can tell I'm overweight?!"
You never know how she will react unless you bring up the subject.0
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